Is the green table wider than the red table is long?
Roll your mouse over the mask to find out.
Friday, July 31, 2009
The Balloon Tree - Painting by Dimitri Kozma
This is my first attempt to do a totally digital painting. It's called "The Balloon Tree" and is a colorfull and soft surreal painting with this guy and his balloons.
Was made using ArtRage, a painting software who imitate the real canvas. It's interesting, because was the first time that I use this software, and it's really artistic user friendly. All the tools are like the real life tools, like pencils and brushes. Even the water to wash the brush are present there! It's almost the same like made on traditional technique, only without the dirty on nails. ;-)
The result is very impressive, with a great organic look like. Even the volume of paint on canvas are present. Click to enlarge.
Was made using ArtRage, a painting software who imitate the real canvas. It's interesting, because was the first time that I use this software, and it's really artistic user friendly. All the tools are like the real life tools, like pencils and brushes. Even the water to wash the brush are present there! It's almost the same like made on traditional technique, only without the dirty on nails. ;-)
The result is very impressive, with a great organic look like. Even the volume of paint on canvas are present. Click to enlarge.
Waiting for the Sun - Painting by Dimitri Kozma
This one is called Waiting for the Sun, and is a traditional drawing with digital painting. Click to enlarge this little group of freak green creatures.
The Barber - Micro Word Series
One more of my Micro Word series, this is the barber. Maybe one day I will do a color version of this complete series.
The Magician and his partner - Illustration freaky
Another freaky style illustration. The magician and his partner is a little strange piece of work, special attention on the dead bunny on his hat. ;-)
Click to enlarge.
Click to enlarge.
Eminem The Warning: Mariah Carey & Nick Cannon Diss (Video)
Eminem and Mariah Carey picture via
Eminem has released a new track called The Warning in response to Mariah Carey and her latest video Obsessed.
The rapper threatens to release more details of his relationship with ex Mariah before she met and married Nick Cannon in the rant.
Check out the audio below:
Eminem The Warning video
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Bon Bons, Bikinis & Books
Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
So last night after work, didn't do much except watch a movie that makes me want to see another movie even more. Allow me to explain. The movie that I watched was "Taken" starring Liam Neeson. Now, you've all seen the preview...with the guy from "Love Actually" threatening kidnappers over the phone thousands of miles away...and you think, "I don't know. That guy's like...fifty something, right? Maybe he's just bluffing and hoping they're amateurs." It's a movie. Of course he's not bluffing. Anyway, a retired operative for the American government is trying to establish a relationship with his 17-year old daughter...but she's invited on a trip to Paris by one of her friends...and they get kidnapped...and he's going to get her. This movie is bad-ass. It's intense, fast, brutal...and basically you just think Liam's a bad-ass the whole time. I would highly recommend it if you're into those kind of action flicks. Now, what movie does this make me want to watch more? Lincoln (when/if that ever comes to be). What's "Lincoln"? I've mentioned it a few times...but to refresh your memory, it's about the life of Abraham Lincoln...and Liam plays the title character...and former President Harrison Ford plays bigoted VP Andrew Johnson...and Spielberg's directing it. Now, think of this...there HAS to be an obligatory scene where Lincoln & Johnson (aka Indiana Jones) have a disagreement, which leads to fisticuffs. So yeah, can't wait for it now. Go check this movie out too...again, if you're into action flicks. It's written by Luc Besson and produced by his company...so you know two things have to be true. It's full of action...and it mostly takes place in Paris. Honestly, I'm surprised the final pyramid scene in "Fifth Element" didn't take place at the base of the Eiffel Tower...but that was probably a compromise from the original script. Now for the news...
Dream Job? - Scientists are looking for women willing to eat chocolate every day for a year -- all in the name of medical science. Researchers at the University of East Anglia and a hospital in Norwich, eastern England are trying to find out whether chocolate can cut the risk of heart disease and need 40 women to step forward and help. Most of the women will have to (as in be forced to) eat two bars of "super-strength chocolate specially formulated by Belgian chocolatiers" daily for one year and undergo several tests to measure how healthy their hearts are. The others will have to eat regular chocolate as a placebo. One possible catch, for chocolate fans spotting an opportunity: volunteers for the research should be menopausal but aged under 75 and have type two diabetes. Damn, that's a curveball. Study coordinator Peter Curtis said: "A successful outcome could be the first step in developing new ways to improve the lives of people at increased risk of heart disease." So there you go. Any of you menopausal mamas out there who are looking to score some free chocolate...and live in the United Kingdom, here's an opportunity for you...and in the name of science. How can you go wrong? I'm curious about this super-strength chocolate too. What makes it super-strength? Super delicious? Super chocolaty? Can I bend the fabric of time? X-ray vision? Super noxious gas? Details.
Bikini Banditos - Police in Mississippi say a woman was carjacked by a bikini-clad suspect, who they say later tried to rob an RV dealership. Southaven Police Chief Tom Long said the 24-year-old suspect approached another woman in her driveway and demanded the car on Thursday. The woman gave up the car without a fight, asking only for time to remove her young children from inside. Long said the suspect then drove the car to the business, where she told employees she had a gun and demanded money. The employees did not believe the claim and restrained her until officers arrived. Police said the suspect appeared to be under the influence of drugs or alcohol. She was charged with carjacking and assault. Now, it may be a different situation if say...a gentleman like myself were carjacked by a bikini-clad woman (obviously strapped). "Dr Love, can you describe the carjacker for us?" "With pleasure. She was wearing this leopard print number, right? Two-piece, very flattering to the ample cleavage, milky, she had this little birthmark on the left breast. Wait...yeah, her left breast, that's right. Was actually hoping it was chocolate and she needs some help with it...but then she pulled the gun on me." "That's...mildly helpful. Do you recall her eye color? Hair color? Approximate height?" "Her what-now? Eyes? Ugh...something like ugh...well, she had a curvy build, very ugh...like Jane Russell. Remember her? Or kind of a Kim Novak quality to her." "Blonde or brunette?" "She also had a gun. Did I mention that part? I think it was a 9mm. Basic, simple, effective." "Sir, describe her face." Okay, you caught me. I hadn't worked my way up that far. I was sitting in my car, there's these set of double D's thrown in my window followed by a nickel-plated nine, I'm frightened & horny at the same time, my brain shuts down, I remember showing her how to drive a stick & teaching her about the tricky clutch, and then she's off with my car." "Wait, what? You taught her how to drive your car." "I PANICKED, OKAY??? Look, I gave her my number too. Maybe she'll call, you guys can tap the phone, we can triangulate her position or whatever..." "Sir, we just got a call...and she tried to jack an RV dealership." "Oh! Really? Cool, so...should I go identify her or something? How's my car? Did she ask for me?"
Librarians are HOT!!! - So much for the stereotype. Texas librarians are baring their skin and revealing their tattoos — all to raise disaster relief money to help damaged libraries. Photos of the librarians and their body art appear in a new calendar sold by the Texas Library Association. Librarian Shawne Miksa says it's a way to get people to notice library issues. As the model for November 2010, she shows off Chinese characters on her lower back that mean "wisdom" and "desire." The "Tattooed Ladies of TLA" 18-month calendar is a follow-up to the successful "Men of Texas Libraries" calendar, which raised $9,000 to help libraries damaged by hurricanes Katrina and Rita. The TLA says libraries thrive on promoting diversity and free expression and the calendar exhibits that spirit...and a little body art never hurt nobody...after the fact. Not as hot as I was expecting when I heard about a Texas Librarians Calendar...but hey, at least it's for a good cause. I remember when I was asked to be a part of the Eden Firefighters Calendar a few years ago. No, I'm not a firefighter...but apparently they didn't have enough guys (being a small town...and frankly, most of them are a little on the "experienced" side). So yeah, you all missed out on that one...but it never came to pass. Probably a good thing too...then I would've been thrown into the life of modeling, acting, dancing...and basically become a rich douche all based on my outward appearance. Yeah, that would've sucked. Sigh... So yeah, librarians are hot...and I think I'm going to use some of my connections to set up one for Utah libraries...but this will be sexier than tattoos (and better sellers in this state). Think of it this way...librarians reading their favorite books...on their bedspreads...or in their jammies at the breakfast nook. Oh yeah, it'll work splendidly. I'll keep ya posted...and it'll be for a cause, like literacy...or adult education...or at least adult entertainment. Is there any greater cause?
Car Chase in Hometown - Police in Plain City, Utah (GO FREMONT SILVERWOLVES!!!) say a 7-year-old boy led officers on a car chase in an effort to avoid going to church. Dispatchers received reports of a child driving recklessly on Sunday morning. Weber County Sheriff's Capt. Klint Anderson says one witness said the boy drove through a stop sign. Anderson says two deputies caught up with the boy and tried unsuccessfully to stop the Dodge Intrepid in an area about 45 miles north of Salt Lake City. The car reached 40 mph before the boy stopped in a driveway and ran inside a home. Anderson says when the boy's father later confronted him, the boy said he didn't want to go to church. The boy is too young to prosecute and no citations were issued, although police did urge the father to make his car keys more inaccessible to children. The sad thing is...I probably know the father from high school...and that makes this all the more hilarious. That's why I have to mention it.
Also, Filly got a new dog today down in New Orleans...and it was a dog left on her doorstep...not unlike Moses. It's a boxer / pitbull mix...so I suggested to her a few names. Number one was Rocky...of course in honor of the great underdog boxers Rocky Balboa AND Marciano. However, I think she was more happy with my other...and surprisingly clever choice...which was Slobber Lang, which was a tribute to Mister T's character Clobber Lang in Rocky III...and has a more badass quality to it...and the Slobber is just a cute touch that the ladies love. I know. I have a gift for naming pets and children. No need to thank me, just pay it forward. Here's a picture...
Anyway, that'll do it for today. It's been a pleasure as always, imagining being carjacked by a swimsuit model, making a calendar of kinky librarians, eating chocolate for a year and so much more. Thank you for sharing this experience with me...and have a great day everybody!!!
So last night after work, didn't do much except watch a movie that makes me want to see another movie even more. Allow me to explain. The movie that I watched was "Taken" starring Liam Neeson. Now, you've all seen the preview...with the guy from "Love Actually" threatening kidnappers over the phone thousands of miles away...and you think, "I don't know. That guy's like...fifty something, right? Maybe he's just bluffing and hoping they're amateurs." It's a movie. Of course he's not bluffing. Anyway, a retired operative for the American government is trying to establish a relationship with his 17-year old daughter...but she's invited on a trip to Paris by one of her friends...and they get kidnapped...and he's going to get her. This movie is bad-ass. It's intense, fast, brutal...and basically you just think Liam's a bad-ass the whole time. I would highly recommend it if you're into those kind of action flicks. Now, what movie does this make me want to watch more? Lincoln (when/if that ever comes to be). What's "Lincoln"? I've mentioned it a few times...but to refresh your memory, it's about the life of Abraham Lincoln...and Liam plays the title character...and former President Harrison Ford plays bigoted VP Andrew Johnson...and Spielberg's directing it. Now, think of this...there HAS to be an obligatory scene where Lincoln & Johnson (aka Indiana Jones) have a disagreement, which leads to fisticuffs. So yeah, can't wait for it now. Go check this movie out too...again, if you're into action flicks. It's written by Luc Besson and produced by his company...so you know two things have to be true. It's full of action...and it mostly takes place in Paris. Honestly, I'm surprised the final pyramid scene in "Fifth Element" didn't take place at the base of the Eiffel Tower...but that was probably a compromise from the original script. Now for the news...
Dream Job? - Scientists are looking for women willing to eat chocolate every day for a year -- all in the name of medical science. Researchers at the University of East Anglia and a hospital in Norwich, eastern England are trying to find out whether chocolate can cut the risk of heart disease and need 40 women to step forward and help. Most of the women will have to (as in be forced to) eat two bars of "super-strength chocolate specially formulated by Belgian chocolatiers" daily for one year and undergo several tests to measure how healthy their hearts are. The others will have to eat regular chocolate as a placebo. One possible catch, for chocolate fans spotting an opportunity: volunteers for the research should be menopausal but aged under 75 and have type two diabetes. Damn, that's a curveball. Study coordinator Peter Curtis said: "A successful outcome could be the first step in developing new ways to improve the lives of people at increased risk of heart disease." So there you go. Any of you menopausal mamas out there who are looking to score some free chocolate...and live in the United Kingdom, here's an opportunity for you...and in the name of science. How can you go wrong? I'm curious about this super-strength chocolate too. What makes it super-strength? Super delicious? Super chocolaty? Can I bend the fabric of time? X-ray vision? Super noxious gas? Details.
Bikini Banditos - Police in Mississippi say a woman was carjacked by a bikini-clad suspect, who they say later tried to rob an RV dealership. Southaven Police Chief Tom Long said the 24-year-old suspect approached another woman in her driveway and demanded the car on Thursday. The woman gave up the car without a fight, asking only for time to remove her young children from inside. Long said the suspect then drove the car to the business, where she told employees she had a gun and demanded money. The employees did not believe the claim and restrained her until officers arrived. Police said the suspect appeared to be under the influence of drugs or alcohol. She was charged with carjacking and assault. Now, it may be a different situation if say...a gentleman like myself were carjacked by a bikini-clad woman (obviously strapped). "Dr Love, can you describe the carjacker for us?" "With pleasure. She was wearing this leopard print number, right? Two-piece, very flattering to the ample cleavage, milky, she had this little birthmark on the left breast. Wait...yeah, her left breast, that's right. Was actually hoping it was chocolate and she needs some help with it...but then she pulled the gun on me." "That's...mildly helpful. Do you recall her eye color? Hair color? Approximate height?" "Her what-now? Eyes? Ugh...something like ugh...well, she had a curvy build, very ugh...like Jane Russell. Remember her? Or kind of a Kim Novak quality to her." "Blonde or brunette?" "She also had a gun. Did I mention that part? I think it was a 9mm. Basic, simple, effective." "Sir, describe her face." Okay, you caught me. I hadn't worked my way up that far. I was sitting in my car, there's these set of double D's thrown in my window followed by a nickel-plated nine, I'm frightened & horny at the same time, my brain shuts down, I remember showing her how to drive a stick & teaching her about the tricky clutch, and then she's off with my car." "Wait, what? You taught her how to drive your car." "I PANICKED, OKAY??? Look, I gave her my number too. Maybe she'll call, you guys can tap the phone, we can triangulate her position or whatever..." "Sir, we just got a call...and she tried to jack an RV dealership." "Oh! Really? Cool, so...should I go identify her or something? How's my car? Did she ask for me?"
Librarians are HOT!!! - So much for the stereotype. Texas librarians are baring their skin and revealing their tattoos — all to raise disaster relief money to help damaged libraries. Photos of the librarians and their body art appear in a new calendar sold by the Texas Library Association. Librarian Shawne Miksa says it's a way to get people to notice library issues. As the model for November 2010, she shows off Chinese characters on her lower back that mean "wisdom" and "desire." The "Tattooed Ladies of TLA" 18-month calendar is a follow-up to the successful "Men of Texas Libraries" calendar, which raised $9,000 to help libraries damaged by hurricanes Katrina and Rita. The TLA says libraries thrive on promoting diversity and free expression and the calendar exhibits that spirit...and a little body art never hurt nobody...after the fact. Not as hot as I was expecting when I heard about a Texas Librarians Calendar...but hey, at least it's for a good cause. I remember when I was asked to be a part of the Eden Firefighters Calendar a few years ago. No, I'm not a firefighter...but apparently they didn't have enough guys (being a small town...and frankly, most of them are a little on the "experienced" side). So yeah, you all missed out on that one...but it never came to pass. Probably a good thing too...then I would've been thrown into the life of modeling, acting, dancing...and basically become a rich douche all based on my outward appearance. Yeah, that would've sucked. Sigh... So yeah, librarians are hot...and I think I'm going to use some of my connections to set up one for Utah libraries...but this will be sexier than tattoos (and better sellers in this state). Think of it this way...librarians reading their favorite books...on their bedspreads...or in their jammies at the breakfast nook. Oh yeah, it'll work splendidly. I'll keep ya posted...and it'll be for a cause, like literacy...or adult education...or at least adult entertainment. Is there any greater cause?Car Chase in Hometown - Police in Plain City, Utah (GO FREMONT SILVERWOLVES!!!) say a 7-year-old boy led officers on a car chase in an effort to avoid going to church. Dispatchers received reports of a child driving recklessly on Sunday morning. Weber County Sheriff's Capt. Klint Anderson says one witness said the boy drove through a stop sign. Anderson says two deputies caught up with the boy and tried unsuccessfully to stop the Dodge Intrepid in an area about 45 miles north of Salt Lake City. The car reached 40 mph before the boy stopped in a driveway and ran inside a home. Anderson says when the boy's father later confronted him, the boy said he didn't want to go to church. The boy is too young to prosecute and no citations were issued, although police did urge the father to make his car keys more inaccessible to children. The sad thing is...I probably know the father from high school...and that makes this all the more hilarious. That's why I have to mention it.
Also, Filly got a new dog today down in New Orleans...and it was a dog left on her doorstep...not unlike Moses. It's a boxer / pitbull mix...so I suggested to her a few names. Number one was Rocky...of course in honor of the great underdog boxers Rocky Balboa AND Marciano. However, I think she was more happy with my other...and surprisingly clever choice...which was Slobber Lang, which was a tribute to Mister T's character Clobber Lang in Rocky III...and has a more badass quality to it...and the Slobber is just a cute touch that the ladies love. I know. I have a gift for naming pets and children. No need to thank me, just pay it forward. Here's a picture...Anyway, that'll do it for today. It's been a pleasure as always, imagining being carjacked by a swimsuit model, making a calendar of kinky librarians, eating chocolate for a year and so much more. Thank you for sharing this experience with me...and have a great day everybody!!!
Joe Jackson Confirms Omer Bhatti is Micheal Jackson's Son (Video)
"Yes, I knew he had another son. Yes, I did.” Joe said in the interview.
"He looks like a Jackson, he acts like a Jackson, he can dance like a Jackson…this boy is a fantastic dancer.” the 80-year-old father of the late king of pop continued.
Omer Bhatti, a 25-year-old Norwegian rapper, is alleged to be the secret son of Michael Jackson, the result of a rumored one-night stand with a Norwegian fan in 1984.
He was photographed sitting on the front row with The Jackson Family at Micheal Jackson's Memorial service on July 7.
Check out the video of Joe Jackson confirms Omer Bhatti is Micheal Jackson's Son below:
Zac Efron Bungee Jumping (Video)
Zac Efron Bungee Jumping Video
Zac Efron made his first ever bungee jump in Canada recently.
The 21-year-old High School Musical star took a death-defying plunge at Whistler Bungee in Vancouver, Canada on Saturday afternoon (July 18).
He is currently in Vancouver filming his upcoming movie, The Life and Death of Charlie St. Cloud.
Lindsay Lohan Goes Blonde for Movie
Lindsay Lohan goes to the hair salon after shopping in Beverly Hills
Lindsay Lohan goes blonde again.
The 23-year-old actress spent more than 11 hours at the Byron & Tracey salon in Beverly Hills yesterday, dying her naturally red hair into blonde.
However, it wasn't her decision. Lindsay revealed that she only dyed it for a movie role and she is sad about the change on her Twitter page.
"it's for a movie. i miss it too :( i was sad when i heard -i begged. lol”
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Like if Iceman & Goose were on the Same Team
Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
Okay, so where to begin with the weekend? Well, Friday night I got off work about 45 minutes early, met up with the Wingmans and we headed up to my mom's house in Eden (the Fortress of Solitude) and enjoy a barbecue with about fifty of my closest relatives (instead of the usual hundreds). We had burgers and the Wingmans got to meet my nieces & nephew for the first time (they agree that they're cute) and we just had a great time hanging out with the family.
Saturday, we woke up late, went to the Shooting Star Saloon in Huntsville, the longest running continuous bar in all of Utah (like 130 years or something). We also enjoyed one of their famous Star Burgers, which is basically a double cheese burger with a knackwurst on top...and it's delicious. The beer wasn't bad either...and the only other thing on the menu is potato chips, so that's really the full experience. Also they have dollars stapled to the ceiling and plenty of animal heads on the walls...including a St Bernard. Fun place. Then he went to a few stores, stopped by my Aunt Pat & Alicia's birthday party, saw some of my dad's family that I hadn't seen in many years, then we headed out to have some REAL fun.
Saturday night was BB's karaoke birthday jam at the Lazy Dog Saloon in Riverton. It's kind of a dive...but that just means the beer and cheap and the people are entertainingly inebriated. Now, I know what you're thinking...and yes, we sang...but apparently they only wanted us to do one song (all the regulars put in their portfolios hours before we showed up) but it was..."The Devil Went Down to Georgia" by the Charlie Daniels Band. Not my greatest performance...but on the fiddle solos, I got people clapping to my jiggy interpretation of this classic duel between Good & Evil...and nothing brings people together like "I done told you once you sum'bich, I'm the best there's ever been." After closing time, we headed over to one of BB's friends for further entertainment, food & Guitar Hero World Tour. Good times. Eventually we got to sleep...but that was around 5 AM.
Sunday, we slept in and really didn't do too much except watch movies. We went to the theatre to watch "The Hangover" and now we want to go to Vegas...and may actually do it this next weekend. If you haven't seen this movie, it gets the Vegas Seal of Recommendation. It's the story of four guys who go to Vegas for a bachelor party...and shenanigans ensue...and they've lost one of their friends...and they don't remember a damn thing about the night before. See also: Every weekend in Vegas EVER (including those that involve an emergency room). It's what you'd expect with all the humor, pretty low brow...but at least it's funny and not just gross. Think of this movie as a mix of "Dude, Where's My Car?" meets "Bachelor Party" and that's what you've got. Go check it out...or wait until the rental. Watch it with friends...and then plan your next trip to Vegas.
That night we stopped at a Redbox and got "The Watchmen" which I had been waiting to see...and it was really cool & dark and just not like other superhero stories out there. I really liked it. It's from the director of "300" so some of the stuff is a little...over the top...but hey, it's a superhero flick, so what do you expect really? The story revolves around an alternate reality where Nixon's elected for five terms and it's an alternate 1985 (like Back to the Future?) and the world is on the brink of chaos thanks to an escalated Cold War with Russia...and all the superheroes have retired. Now, some of them are being murdered...and it's up to the rest to find out who's doing it...and why. I had asked numerous people before about this movie...and the only thing they could tell me was about the big glowing blue penis of Doctor Manhattan. "Interesting, so are there bad guys or what?" "Seriously. Every few minutes, it's like BAM!!! Forty foot blue cock on the screen!!!" "Okay...but tell me more about it. What's the plot? I haven't read the comics or novel or whatever." "It was just so...you know?" Yes, there is some frontal nudity...but not as much as I was expecting based on the testimony. I even watched it on a projector screen. Still, great flick. Go check it out. Leave the kids at home though. Oh...and I have a bottle of absinthe now...and it was nice. It was another late night.
Monday, I was having a case of the Monday Flu...so I decided to call off work and spend the day chillaxin' with the Wingmans. We had lunch at Buca di Beppo across the street with my mom (who was in town for a few hours with work) and again, just kind of relaxed and took in the day of rest and watched movies and had a few beverages and cooked up some collard greens & fruit and just had a grand olde tyme. The Wingmans & I always seem to know how to have a fun time...even on a dime. Hopefully we'll be able to arrange something for this weekend in Vegas because after that, they'll have the five kids around for the next few months, so one last hurrah before having to go back to responsibilities. That's the idea we're going with. So if anybody else wants in on some of this action, let us know...but be prepared to have fun. No drama. Deal?
Tuesday, I went to work...and afterwards was surprised to find that the Wingmans were still in town for another day & wanted to hang out...so we did. We went to the new all-you-can-eat sushi place called Simply Sushi across the street...and had about $50 worth of sushi (five long rolls & some nigiri) for twenty bucks. Great deal...and I never thought that I could get full off sushi...but it happened. They'll even do substitutions...and I highly recommend a Park City Roll with yellowtail substituting the salmon. It's amaz-az-ing. Ladies, if you wanna check it out...I've got the hookup.
After sushi, we went back to the apartment and watched "Miss March" starring...well, Hugh Hefner was in it. Basically the story is, there's this straight arrow kid...and his dim-witted pervert friend (we all have at least one). The straight arrow is going to senior prom with a superhottie girlfriend of two plus years...and they're about to do the do...when he falls down some stairs, hits his head...and is in a coma for four years. He wakes up...and finds out that his friend is still there, but his dad left him, and his girlfriend is now the centerfold on the latest issue of Playboy. So now, his friend is being chased by his girlfriend (he stabbed her with a fork) and firefighters...and he kidnaps his friend recovering from a coma to go on a cross-country trip to the Playboy Mansion...and there's a rapper friend named Horsedick.mpeg and...at least there's plenty of hot chicks in the movie. That's really about it. There are funny moments...but it reverts back to poop jokes a lot...and idiocy, which can be entertaining. Not a must see by any means...but hey, Playboy's involved...so you know it has to be okay on a basic level.
Fortune Cookie of the (Yester) Day - "A Note Full of Cheer is Coming From a Loved One...in bed" - Okay, that's just a little weird...but only because I don't really have a loved one in bed per se...unless it's like somebody writing on their bed...using their laptop or something. That might be the case...but yeah, otherwise it's just a little odd. Now a little something about bears...
Badass Boulder Bears - Apparently I got out of Denver just in the nick of time. The animals are taking over. A black (African-American) bear that broke into a Boulder County home and charged at the homeowner was killed only after three rounds from a shotgun, five shots from a handgun and two from a rifle. Paul Fischer fired birdshot and a rubber bullet at the 120-pound bear that was found rummaging through the kitchen early Monday morning. The family escaped when the third shot seemed to disorient the bear. Sheriff's deputies found a bear trying to claw his way through a screen door when they arrived. Sgt. Lance Enholm fired his handgun five times at the bear after determining it was severely wounded. Enholm says the bear kept moving toward him and was finally killed by two shots from his rifle. Ten shots, three different weapons, and one fuzzy wuzzy corpse. Remember to lock your doors at night.
Panda Update - China announced the first successful birth of a panda cub from artificial insemination using frozen sperm, giving a new option for the notoriously poor breeders, officials said Friday. Panda females have only three days a year in which they can conceive — one reason their species is endangered. Female panda You You (pronounced Yo Yo) gave birth to the new cub Thursday morning at the Wolong Giant Panda Research Center in southwestern Sichuan. It is You You's third baby, and the 10th panda cub born at Wolong this year. Just after dawn, the pinkish, hairless cub emerged, and its mother licked the baby to clean it, according to footage shown by state broadcaster CCTV. Panda researchers said Friday that they believe it's the first successful live birth worldwide using frozen panda sperm. "We did try before but it failed," said Huang Yan, a deputy research technician with the China Panda Preservation Research Center. The technique has been tried in other countries but this was the first known instance of a live birth, he said. The sperm from male panda Lolo (as in, keep it on the lolo) had been frozen for "a number of years," said Huang, though he did not give details. Artificial insemination is commonly used for breeding pandas, which have a very low sex drive. In 2006, 34 pandas were born through artificial insemination in China and 30 survived — both record numbers for the endangered species. The technique has also been used at zoos in the United States. However, using panda sperm that has been frozen earlier (instead of from an immediate donor) had not been successful before. Scientists carried out the artificial insemination in March, and You You was found to be pregnant in June during an ultrasound exam, according to a notice on the Wolong Center's Web site. The technique, if it can be replicated, will be a positive boost for panda conservation efforts, said Matthew Durnin, regional science director in the Asia-Pacific and North Asia for The Nature Conservancy, a U.S.-based conservation organization. "In the past, they're limited to using semen from a few virile, reproductive males. If you're using only one male at a time, you start to get lower and lower diversity. This can help with issues of genetic diversity among your captive population," he said. Breeding giant pandas in captivity has proved difficult. Pandas are threatened by loss of habitat, poaching and a low reproduction rate. Females in the wild normally have a cub once every two or three years. Oddly enough, the fertility of captive giant pandas is even lower. Only about 1,600 pandas live in the wild, mostly in China's southwestern Sichuan province, which was hit by an earthquake last year that killed nearly 70,000 people. An additional 120 are in Chinese breeding facilities and zoos, and about 20 live in zoos outside China. So Yo-yo & Lolo had a baster baby...and it'll be named in about three months. Great news from the scientific world. Soon pandas will be rummaging through our kitchens and getting shot ten times too. I can't wait for those days.
Okay, so where to begin with the weekend? Well, Friday night I got off work about 45 minutes early, met up with the Wingmans and we headed up to my mom's house in Eden (the Fortress of Solitude) and enjoy a barbecue with about fifty of my closest relatives (instead of the usual hundreds). We had burgers and the Wingmans got to meet my nieces & nephew for the first time (they agree that they're cute) and we just had a great time hanging out with the family.
Saturday, we woke up late, went to the Shooting Star Saloon in Huntsville, the longest running continuous bar in all of Utah (like 130 years or something). We also enjoyed one of their famous Star Burgers, which is basically a double cheese burger with a knackwurst on top...and it's delicious. The beer wasn't bad either...and the only other thing on the menu is potato chips, so that's really the full experience. Also they have dollars stapled to the ceiling and plenty of animal heads on the walls...including a St Bernard. Fun place. Then he went to a few stores, stopped by my Aunt Pat & Alicia's birthday party, saw some of my dad's family that I hadn't seen in many years, then we headed out to have some REAL fun.
Saturday night was BB's karaoke birthday jam at the Lazy Dog Saloon in Riverton. It's kind of a dive...but that just means the beer and cheap and the people are entertainingly inebriated. Now, I know what you're thinking...and yes, we sang...but apparently they only wanted us to do one song (all the regulars put in their portfolios hours before we showed up) but it was..."The Devil Went Down to Georgia" by the Charlie Daniels Band. Not my greatest performance...but on the fiddle solos, I got people clapping to my jiggy interpretation of this classic duel between Good & Evil...and nothing brings people together like "I done told you once you sum'bich, I'm the best there's ever been." After closing time, we headed over to one of BB's friends for further entertainment, food & Guitar Hero World Tour. Good times. Eventually we got to sleep...but that was around 5 AM.
Sunday, we slept in and really didn't do too much except watch movies. We went to the theatre to watch "The Hangover" and now we want to go to Vegas...and may actually do it this next weekend. If you haven't seen this movie, it gets the Vegas Seal of Recommendation. It's the story of four guys who go to Vegas for a bachelor party...and shenanigans ensue...and they've lost one of their friends...and they don't remember a damn thing about the night before. See also: Every weekend in Vegas EVER (including those that involve an emergency room). It's what you'd expect with all the humor, pretty low brow...but at least it's funny and not just gross. Think of this movie as a mix of "Dude, Where's My Car?" meets "Bachelor Party" and that's what you've got. Go check it out...or wait until the rental. Watch it with friends...and then plan your next trip to Vegas.
That night we stopped at a Redbox and got "The Watchmen" which I had been waiting to see...and it was really cool & dark and just not like other superhero stories out there. I really liked it. It's from the director of "300" so some of the stuff is a little...over the top...but hey, it's a superhero flick, so what do you expect really? The story revolves around an alternate reality where Nixon's elected for five terms and it's an alternate 1985 (like Back to the Future?) and the world is on the brink of chaos thanks to an escalated Cold War with Russia...and all the superheroes have retired. Now, some of them are being murdered...and it's up to the rest to find out who's doing it...and why. I had asked numerous people before about this movie...and the only thing they could tell me was about the big glowing blue penis of Doctor Manhattan. "Interesting, so are there bad guys or what?" "Seriously. Every few minutes, it's like BAM!!! Forty foot blue cock on the screen!!!" "Okay...but tell me more about it. What's the plot? I haven't read the comics or novel or whatever." "It was just so...you know?" Yes, there is some frontal nudity...but not as much as I was expecting based on the testimony. I even watched it on a projector screen. Still, great flick. Go check it out. Leave the kids at home though. Oh...and I have a bottle of absinthe now...and it was nice. It was another late night.Monday, I was having a case of the Monday Flu...so I decided to call off work and spend the day chillaxin' with the Wingmans. We had lunch at Buca di Beppo across the street with my mom (who was in town for a few hours with work) and again, just kind of relaxed and took in the day of rest and watched movies and had a few beverages and cooked up some collard greens & fruit and just had a grand olde tyme. The Wingmans & I always seem to know how to have a fun time...even on a dime. Hopefully we'll be able to arrange something for this weekend in Vegas because after that, they'll have the five kids around for the next few months, so one last hurrah before having to go back to responsibilities. That's the idea we're going with. So if anybody else wants in on some of this action, let us know...but be prepared to have fun. No drama. Deal?
Tuesday, I went to work...and afterwards was surprised to find that the Wingmans were still in town for another day & wanted to hang out...so we did. We went to the new all-you-can-eat sushi place called Simply Sushi across the street...and had about $50 worth of sushi (five long rolls & some nigiri) for twenty bucks. Great deal...and I never thought that I could get full off sushi...but it happened. They'll even do substitutions...and I highly recommend a Park City Roll with yellowtail substituting the salmon. It's amaz-az-ing. Ladies, if you wanna check it out...I've got the hookup.
After sushi, we went back to the apartment and watched "Miss March" starring...well, Hugh Hefner was in it. Basically the story is, there's this straight arrow kid...and his dim-witted pervert friend (we all have at least one). The straight arrow is going to senior prom with a superhottie girlfriend of two plus years...and they're about to do the do...when he falls down some stairs, hits his head...and is in a coma for four years. He wakes up...and finds out that his friend is still there, but his dad left him, and his girlfriend is now the centerfold on the latest issue of Playboy. So now, his friend is being chased by his girlfriend (he stabbed her with a fork) and firefighters...and he kidnaps his friend recovering from a coma to go on a cross-country trip to the Playboy Mansion...and there's a rapper friend named Horsedick.mpeg and...at least there's plenty of hot chicks in the movie. That's really about it. There are funny moments...but it reverts back to poop jokes a lot...and idiocy, which can be entertaining. Not a must see by any means...but hey, Playboy's involved...so you know it has to be okay on a basic level.Fortune Cookie of the (Yester) Day - "A Note Full of Cheer is Coming From a Loved One...in bed" - Okay, that's just a little weird...but only because I don't really have a loved one in bed per se...unless it's like somebody writing on their bed...using their laptop or something. That might be the case...but yeah, otherwise it's just a little odd. Now a little something about bears...
Badass Boulder Bears - Apparently I got out of Denver just in the nick of time. The animals are taking over. A black (African-American) bear that broke into a Boulder County home and charged at the homeowner was killed only after three rounds from a shotgun, five shots from a handgun and two from a rifle. Paul Fischer fired birdshot and a rubber bullet at the 120-pound bear that was found rummaging through the kitchen early Monday morning. The family escaped when the third shot seemed to disorient the bear. Sheriff's deputies found a bear trying to claw his way through a screen door when they arrived. Sgt. Lance Enholm fired his handgun five times at the bear after determining it was severely wounded. Enholm says the bear kept moving toward him and was finally killed by two shots from his rifle. Ten shots, three different weapons, and one fuzzy wuzzy corpse. Remember to lock your doors at night.
Panda Update - China announced the first successful birth of a panda cub from artificial insemination using frozen sperm, giving a new option for the notoriously poor breeders, officials said Friday. Panda females have only three days a year in which they can conceive — one reason their species is endangered. Female panda You You (pronounced Yo Yo) gave birth to the new cub Thursday morning at the Wolong Giant Panda Research Center in southwestern Sichuan. It is You You's third baby, and the 10th panda cub born at Wolong this year. Just after dawn, the pinkish, hairless cub emerged, and its mother licked the baby to clean it, according to footage shown by state broadcaster CCTV. Panda researchers said Friday that they believe it's the first successful live birth worldwide using frozen panda sperm. "We did try before but it failed," said Huang Yan, a deputy research technician with the China Panda Preservation Research Center. The technique has been tried in other countries but this was the first known instance of a live birth, he said. The sperm from male panda Lolo (as in, keep it on the lolo) had been frozen for "a number of years," said Huang, though he did not give details. Artificial insemination is commonly used for breeding pandas, which have a very low sex drive. In 2006, 34 pandas were born through artificial insemination in China and 30 survived — both record numbers for the endangered species. The technique has also been used at zoos in the United States. However, using panda sperm that has been frozen earlier (instead of from an immediate donor) had not been successful before. Scientists carried out the artificial insemination in March, and You You was found to be pregnant in June during an ultrasound exam, according to a notice on the Wolong Center's Web site. The technique, if it can be replicated, will be a positive boost for panda conservation efforts, said Matthew Durnin, regional science director in the Asia-Pacific and North Asia for The Nature Conservancy, a U.S.-based conservation organization. "In the past, they're limited to using semen from a few virile, reproductive males. If you're using only one male at a time, you start to get lower and lower diversity. This can help with issues of genetic diversity among your captive population," he said. Breeding giant pandas in captivity has proved difficult. Pandas are threatened by loss of habitat, poaching and a low reproduction rate. Females in the wild normally have a cub once every two or three years. Oddly enough, the fertility of captive giant pandas is even lower. Only about 1,600 pandas live in the wild, mostly in China's southwestern Sichuan province, which was hit by an earthquake last year that killed nearly 70,000 people. An additional 120 are in Chinese breeding facilities and zoos, and about 20 live in zoos outside China. So Yo-yo & Lolo had a baster baby...and it'll be named in about three months. Great news from the scientific world. Soon pandas will be rummaging through our kitchens and getting shot ten times too. I can't wait for those days.Well, that'll do it for today. Hope you all had a wonderful weekend as well...and a big thanks to the Wingmans for stopping by and having a kick-ass time. Have a great day everybody!!!
Miley Cyrus “Party In The USA” Leaked (Audio)
Miley Cyrus’ latest single, Party in the USA, has hit the internet!
Reports say that the new song will be featured on the teen queen’s upcoming album, which due out this fall.
Check out the audio above and the lyrics here.
Pandora
The photos for the Versace Catalogue Winter 1998 where made by Steven Meisel. All are dealing in a mysterious manner with mythological subjects. It’s not mentioned what characters Meisel had in mind when he arranged his photos. But this one reminds a lot of Pandora.
Pandora the curious girl with his box who brings all the evils to mankind as can be seen on this painting from 1894 by the British artist Henrietta Rae (1859-1928).
Pandora the curious girl with his box who brings all the evils to mankind as can be seen on this painting from 1894 by the British artist Henrietta Rae (1859-1928).
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Kim Kardashian Reggie Bush Split
Kim Kardashian, 28, and her New Orleans Saints football boyfriend Reggie Bush, 24, have broken up.
According to reports, the pair decided to end their two years of romance due to the “conflicting schedules”, and the split was a “mutual decision”.
"They never get to see each other, ever.” a source close to the couple told People magazine. “It's been a long time coming. They still love each other and are part of their lives, but Reggie spends six months out of the year in New Orleans, so it's tough."
A rep for Kardashian has confirmed the split.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Joe Jonas Camilla Belle Split
Joe Jonas and his 22-year-old actress girlfriend Camilla Belle have officially called it quits, according to People magazine.
"Yes, it's true, they have broken up. There is no third party involved and they care deeply about each other and will remain friends.”a rep for Camilla confirmed the split on Monday.
Neither Joe or Camilla ever confirmed they were dating since November 2008.
Ricky Berens Splitting Swimsuit Malfunction
Ricky Berens, the 21-year-old Olympic swimmer and Beijing relay gold medalist, suffered a splitting swimsuit malfunction on Sunday during the World Swimming Championships in Rome.
The back of his swimsuit tore open and bared his rear end just moments before the race. But remarkably, the University of Texas senior continued to complete his contest as scheduled.
"I kind of freaked out just for a second, I felt like [the hole] was almost down to my knees. I felt like I was putting on a pretty good show.” Berens said as he talked about the horrible awkward moment.
Back When Settling Wasn't Frowned Upon
Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
Happy Pioneer Day back on Friday everybody!!! What's Pioneer Day? You may be asking that if you're a fairly new reader of the blog and have never lived in Utah...but Pioneer Day is the celebration of...well, I don't remember specifically what the day July 24th refers to...but it's either the day that Utah became a state back in 1896...or it's the day that a band of Mormons led by Brigham Young (and his 23 wives, no joke) were traveling westward from Missouri, had just passed through the merciless Rocky Mountains, came out the other end, saw a barren desert with a salt water lake that smelled like a dead cat left in the warsh (as Bubbles would say) and said, "This is the Place. That's it. I'm not going any further. We're gonna stay right here. Unload these wagons." "But Brother Young, this is not the coast." "DO YOU SEE WHAT LIES AHEAD, Brother Jones? Feel free to continue...but I'm tired of this journey. Wait, wait (looks to the sky) What's that? Right here? Okey dokey. There, God just told me to set up a city right here." "Wow Brother Young. What shall we call it?" "Ugh...we'll ugh...call it. (Looks around at the landscape with a salty desert) Salt...and ugh, there's the lake...Salt. Lake. City. Salt Lake City." "That sounds...kind of lame." "Are you calling God's will lame?" "NO! No, of course not. Salt Lake City's a great name for a city." And thus a city was born...and the definition of the word Settler. Join us next time when I'll explain the origins of San Diego, discovered by the Germans in 1904...and the name San Diego is German for "the whale's vagina." It's really a beautiful tale of Forbidden Love...and sauerkraut.
Thursday night, JL Clyde, the Mad Scientist & I went to the Hookah Lounge downtown to watch my buddy Spitsofrantic perform (briefly after about two hours or waiting) and we had a merry time of catching up and enjoying a few adult beverages. An added bonus was that Spitso's older brother Jack was there, so we played some pool and I introduced him to my friends. One of which he had apparently wanted to meet for a few years. See, Jack used to work with us up until about two years ago...and he had been fascinated by JL Clyde's fashion sense. "Dude, who is that? I've been wanting to meet her for years." "Oh, well then I'll introduce you two." "Anybody who can pull off skirts and combat boots...I just have to meet." After that, I went home and slept like a baby...but with some freaky dreams. I won't bore you with the details...but it was like I was in a pretty horrible horror flick (though my supporting cast was mainly big-breasted women from all over the world) and it...well, here I'll just tell ya what I remember. Details of this weekend with the Wingmans are gonna have to wait until next time...
So it starts out that a few friends (though I don't recall seeing them before) and I buy a new house...and it's pretty standard, white walls, probably a three-bedroom, two-bath, nothing exceptional at all...except for this REALLY steep driveway that leads directly into the garage. I mean like...45-degree angle at least. Anyway, our first night there, some strange things are happening...like I hear one of the girls scream from outside, go running out there...and she's screaming at a splatter of blood on the garage wall...but there's not body or anything. "Oh my God!!!" I grab the nearest possible weapon...which appears to be little birdhouse or hummingbird feeder that was sticking out of the garden. Don't worry, it was only temporary. "Alright everyone, I don't know where that came from...but let's get back in the house and call the cops. Does anybody have a cell phone?" The only other dude said, "That's just corn syrup." "So some kids are being assholes...but just to be safe, let's get back inside." We sidestep in a group towards the front door. One of the girls scream, "It's locked. Who has a key?" "I'm in my jammies. Who'd lock the door?" I toss her my keys. BANG!!! The girls scream as one of the windows blows out...and they all kind of run off back towards the garage...to which there's more blood...now with a puddle running down the driveway a little as well...and there's now a body skewered to the garage. "AAAAGH!!!" "That's just corn syrup." "Let's go to the neighbor's house." "Where's my cell?" Everybody's kind of scurrying about...and we get separated. Luckily, I had found a sturdy fence post...and there were distant screams here and there...but I saw the neighbor's house across the street with the lights on.
"HEY!!! HEEEEEEY!!!" I run up the driveway...which if you remember is pretty steep...and has "corn syrup" all over it. Well, I get to the street and continue yelling. "HEEEEEY!!! CALL THE COPS!!!" The shadow of a guy is standing in the window with the lights on behind him...and he basically just closes the curtains. Then it hits me, I start remembering little things from earlier in the dream (like I said, it's like a bad horror movie). I see the realtor showing us the house, "So no family in the area?" "Nope, we just have each other", the neighbors, signing the paperwork, "They moved to a better place", eerie looks from the neighbors, "This paperwork was a easier than I expected" "It's a lot easier when you pay in full", basically it was just a little montage...and I had finally figured out the setup. Basically, this was like a neighborhood alliance, where they sold this home to a bunch of kids...but really just took their money and never filed anything with the county or something...and because we didn't have any family checking up on us...nobody seemed to notice...and they would kill us, you know serial killer style...and all the neighbors get a cut...and then they just do it all over again in a few months when a few more suckers with no experience in home ownership and a wad of cash (probably from a new book deal or something). Oh yeah, it was going to be a really bad flick...with sequels. Yeah, that was basically it. There was another dream about finding a restaurant in Denver (weird) but the person suggesting it didn't know the name...just that it was "San...something" and it became a futile attempt of trying to get information from her...and my moustache was quite full...and had those sweet curls on the ends. Like a sexy Yosemite Sam...but that's about all I remember. Hardly worthy of a movie script. So here's the news...
Prehistoric MURDER!!! - Newly analyzed remains suggest that a modern human killed a Neanderthal man in what is now Iraq between 50,000 and 75,000 years ago. The finding is scant but tantalizing evidence for a theory that modern humans helped to kill off the Neanderthals (it was either them or us). Though the statute of limitations is being called into question, a further complication is that it is highly unlikely that the murderer is still around to be punished. The probable weapon of choice: A thrown spear. The evidence: A lethal wound on the remains of a Neanderthal skeleton. The victim: A 40- to 50-year-old male, now called Shanidar 3, with signs of arthritis and a sharp, deep slice in his left ninth rib. "What we've got is a rib injury, with any number of scenarios that could explain it," said study researcher Steven Churchill, an associate professor of evolutionary anthropology at Duke University in North Carolina. "We're not suggesting there was a blitzkrieg, with modern humans marching across the land and executing the Neanderthals. I want to say that loud and clear." But he added, "We think the best explanation for this injury is a projectile weapon, and given who had those and who didn't, that implies at least one act of inter-species aggression." Scientists are continuing to refine their understanding of early Homo sapiens and Neanderthals, with hopes of also resolving the mystery of how the latter species went extinct while we did not. Past research has yielded conflicting evidence on interbreeding between the two species, but the new study clearly shows the opposite of affection. In fact, another Neanderthal skeleton dating back some 36,000 years and found in France showed signs of a scalp injury likely caused by a sharp object that may have been delivered by a modern human at the time, Churchill said. "So if the Shanidar 3 case is also a case of inter-specific violence and if Shandiar 3 overlaps in time with modern humans, we're beginning to get a little bit of a pattern here." Competition for resources with modern humans, along with other factors, may have also played a role in the die-off of Neanderthals, the researchers say. So there you go, the murder weapon: A spear. The evidence: A body with a spear wound. The motive: Survival via gang violence, self-defense, a wife interbreeding with the Neanderthal, who knows? More questions than answers at this point...but we'll see if the authorities can get to the bottom of this on the next episode of Law & Order (dun duh).
Gidget Es Muerto - Gidget the Chihuahua, the bug-eyed, big-eared star of 1990s Taco Bell commercials who was a diva on and off the screen, has died. She was 15 years old. Gidget suffered a massive stroke late Tuesday night at her trainer's home in Santa Clarita and had to be euthanized, said Karin McElhatton, owner of Studio Animal Services in Castaic, which owned the dog. Although she was hard of hearing, Gidget was otherwise in good health up to the day of her death, eating well and playing with her favorite squeaky toys at the home of trainer Sue Chipperton, McElhatton said. "She was retired. She lived like a queen, very pampered," McElhatton said. Gidget was found at a kennel and wasn't show quality with an undershot jaw and huge ears...but Gidget knew she was a star, McElhatton said. "She was a prima donna, basically. She absolutely knew when she was on camera." In a 1997 Taco Bell television commercial, Gidget was seen as a male dog who, through the magic of special effects and a voice actor, proclaims in a richly accented voice: "Yo quiero Taco Bell" — Spanish for "I want Taco Bell." Viewers were charmed. What was supposed to be a single ad became a campaign that ran from 1997 to 2000. The ads made the Taco Bell mascot wildly popular, although they provoked criticism from activists who accused them of promoting Hispanic stereotypes. While other Chihuahuas had bit parts, McElhatton said it was Gidget who got the close-ups and the quips (Carlos Alazraqui of Reno 911 was the voice). Gidget traveled first-class, opened up the New York Stock Exchange and made an appearance at Madison Square Garden. In later years, she did other acting work, appearing in a 2002 commercial for the insurance company GEICO and in the 2003 movie "Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde." She remained the object of affection after her retirement, going on hikes and beach visits with her trainer. She aged gracefully, and liked nothing more than to snooze in the sun. "She was like a little old lady. She'd kind of gotten smaller." Gidget will be cremated. Her owners had not decided on a final disposition of her remains. Taco Bell Corp. said in a statement Gidget would be missed by many. "Our deepest sympathies go out to her owners and fans." Now I'm hungry for a Chicken Grilled Stuft Burrito. Damn you Gidget!!!
Your Next President - Ladies & gentlemen, I apologize. I said over two years ago...that Arnold Schwarzenegger would be President in 2012...and I still think it's true...but sometimes, I have to wonder if he takes the job seriously. Normally, when a tall, muscular man (possibly cyborg) wields a 2-foot-long knife on-camera, it's usually not for a thank-you video...but that's what the Governator Arnold Schwarzenegger has done on his Twitter account, where the Republican actor-turned-governor posted a video message Tuesday thanking followers for their budget-balancing ideas as the state tries to fix a $26 billion deficit. In the video, he sits at his desk in the state Capitol admiring a 2-foot-long folding knife before addressing viewers and saying he likes one follower's suggestion to autograph a fleet of state-owned vehicles being put up for auction on Craigslist and eBay. "You come up with the great ideas. Why not just sign the cars since you're a celebrity governor? Sign the cars and sell it for more money. That's exactly what we're going to do." The governor's spokesman, Aaron McLear, said the knife was a gift from a friend and arrived Tuesday, and that the governor is serious about signing the auctioned vehicles. The auction, planned for late August, was prompted by tips from state employees and put into motion through an executive order. Officials estimate that selling 15 percent of California's 40,000 government vehicles could raise about $24 million. Schwarzenegger defended the Twitter video Wednesday when asked by a reporter whether it was appropriate at a time when the state is making deep cuts that are affecting the lives of the poor, elderly, children, college students and government employees. The state also is trying to close the budget gap by furloughing state workers three days a month. Schwarzenegger said he shot the Web clip because he does not want to be seen as "El Stiffo," suggesting previous governors were less colorful than he is (hmm, some might say...Grey). The governor said he doesn't enjoy making budget cuts but does need to keep his sense of humor. "Not that I have fun with making the cuts — they sadden me — but ... that doesn't mean that you cannot wave a knife around, or to wave your sword around, to get the message across that certain cuts have to be made because it's budget time," Schwarzenegger said during the news conference. Under a compromise plan he reached earlier this week with legislative leaders, the state would cut $6 billion from K-12 schools and community colleges, as well as $3 billion from state universities. Prisons, health care and welfare programs also would be cut. The revised budget plan is scheduled to be considered Thursday in the Legislature. McLear said the governor made the clip because he wants to respond to innovative ideas, wherever they originate. The video had received more than 33,000 hits by Wednesday afternoon. It's a great approach in my opinion. It shows that (though through the filter of his subsidiaries) that the people are being listened to...and they're trying to have a feasible state budget and get back to stability instead of a 12% unemployment and fire season's about to start up there in California too. Sure, he may have married into political prestige and won a popularity vote against Gary Coleman...but at least he's making an effort...and he realizes that where he lacks, he's not afraid to ask others for help and suggestions...and when the decision needs to be made, he has the testicular fortitude to do something about it. That's the kind of leader I want. That...and have you seen the guy swing a broadsword? I mean...I haven't recently...but he knew his stuff at one time...and I assume being a warrior of epic proportions is a lot like riding a bike. Anyway, that's just my take...and I really wanted to post this picture in the right context. Take THAT, print newspapers!!!
Well, that'll do it for today. Big weekend planned so it may be a few days before you hear from me...but rest assured, I already have a few incredible new stories ready to share...and I'll be drinking, so maybe some more crazy ass dreams too. Have a great weekend everybody!!! Happy Pioneer Day!!!
Happy Pioneer Day back on Friday everybody!!! What's Pioneer Day? You may be asking that if you're a fairly new reader of the blog and have never lived in Utah...but Pioneer Day is the celebration of...well, I don't remember specifically what the day July 24th refers to...but it's either the day that Utah became a state back in 1896...or it's the day that a band of Mormons led by Brigham Young (and his 23 wives, no joke) were traveling westward from Missouri, had just passed through the merciless Rocky Mountains, came out the other end, saw a barren desert with a salt water lake that smelled like a dead cat left in the warsh (as Bubbles would say) and said, "This is the Place. That's it. I'm not going any further. We're gonna stay right here. Unload these wagons." "But Brother Young, this is not the coast." "DO YOU SEE WHAT LIES AHEAD, Brother Jones? Feel free to continue...but I'm tired of this journey. Wait, wait (looks to the sky) What's that? Right here? Okey dokey. There, God just told me to set up a city right here." "Wow Brother Young. What shall we call it?" "Ugh...we'll ugh...call it. (Looks around at the landscape with a salty desert) Salt...and ugh, there's the lake...Salt. Lake. City. Salt Lake City." "That sounds...kind of lame." "Are you calling God's will lame?" "NO! No, of course not. Salt Lake City's a great name for a city." And thus a city was born...and the definition of the word Settler. Join us next time when I'll explain the origins of San Diego, discovered by the Germans in 1904...and the name San Diego is German for "the whale's vagina." It's really a beautiful tale of Forbidden Love...and sauerkraut.Thursday night, JL Clyde, the Mad Scientist & I went to the Hookah Lounge downtown to watch my buddy Spitsofrantic perform (briefly after about two hours or waiting) and we had a merry time of catching up and enjoying a few adult beverages. An added bonus was that Spitso's older brother Jack was there, so we played some pool and I introduced him to my friends. One of which he had apparently wanted to meet for a few years. See, Jack used to work with us up until about two years ago...and he had been fascinated by JL Clyde's fashion sense. "Dude, who is that? I've been wanting to meet her for years." "Oh, well then I'll introduce you two." "Anybody who can pull off skirts and combat boots...I just have to meet." After that, I went home and slept like a baby...but with some freaky dreams. I won't bore you with the details...but it was like I was in a pretty horrible horror flick (though my supporting cast was mainly big-breasted women from all over the world) and it...well, here I'll just tell ya what I remember. Details of this weekend with the Wingmans are gonna have to wait until next time...
So it starts out that a few friends (though I don't recall seeing them before) and I buy a new house...and it's pretty standard, white walls, probably a three-bedroom, two-bath, nothing exceptional at all...except for this REALLY steep driveway that leads directly into the garage. I mean like...45-degree angle at least. Anyway, our first night there, some strange things are happening...like I hear one of the girls scream from outside, go running out there...and she's screaming at a splatter of blood on the garage wall...but there's not body or anything. "Oh my God!!!" I grab the nearest possible weapon...which appears to be little birdhouse or hummingbird feeder that was sticking out of the garden. Don't worry, it was only temporary. "Alright everyone, I don't know where that came from...but let's get back in the house and call the cops. Does anybody have a cell phone?" The only other dude said, "That's just corn syrup." "So some kids are being assholes...but just to be safe, let's get back inside." We sidestep in a group towards the front door. One of the girls scream, "It's locked. Who has a key?" "I'm in my jammies. Who'd lock the door?" I toss her my keys. BANG!!! The girls scream as one of the windows blows out...and they all kind of run off back towards the garage...to which there's more blood...now with a puddle running down the driveway a little as well...and there's now a body skewered to the garage. "AAAAGH!!!" "That's just corn syrup." "Let's go to the neighbor's house." "Where's my cell?" Everybody's kind of scurrying about...and we get separated. Luckily, I had found a sturdy fence post...and there were distant screams here and there...but I saw the neighbor's house across the street with the lights on."HEY!!! HEEEEEEY!!!" I run up the driveway...which if you remember is pretty steep...and has "corn syrup" all over it. Well, I get to the street and continue yelling. "HEEEEEY!!! CALL THE COPS!!!" The shadow of a guy is standing in the window with the lights on behind him...and he basically just closes the curtains. Then it hits me, I start remembering little things from earlier in the dream (like I said, it's like a bad horror movie). I see the realtor showing us the house, "So no family in the area?" "Nope, we just have each other", the neighbors, signing the paperwork, "They moved to a better place", eerie looks from the neighbors, "This paperwork was a easier than I expected" "It's a lot easier when you pay in full", basically it was just a little montage...and I had finally figured out the setup. Basically, this was like a neighborhood alliance, where they sold this home to a bunch of kids...but really just took their money and never filed anything with the county or something...and because we didn't have any family checking up on us...nobody seemed to notice...and they would kill us, you know serial killer style...and all the neighbors get a cut...and then they just do it all over again in a few months when a few more suckers with no experience in home ownership and a wad of cash (probably from a new book deal or something). Oh yeah, it was going to be a really bad flick...with sequels. Yeah, that was basically it. There was another dream about finding a restaurant in Denver (weird) but the person suggesting it didn't know the name...just that it was "San...something" and it became a futile attempt of trying to get information from her...and my moustache was quite full...and had those sweet curls on the ends. Like a sexy Yosemite Sam...but that's about all I remember. Hardly worthy of a movie script. So here's the news...
Prehistoric MURDER!!! - Newly analyzed remains suggest that a modern human killed a Neanderthal man in what is now Iraq between 50,000 and 75,000 years ago. The finding is scant but tantalizing evidence for a theory that modern humans helped to kill off the Neanderthals (it was either them or us). Though the statute of limitations is being called into question, a further complication is that it is highly unlikely that the murderer is still around to be punished. The probable weapon of choice: A thrown spear. The evidence: A lethal wound on the remains of a Neanderthal skeleton. The victim: A 40- to 50-year-old male, now called Shanidar 3, with signs of arthritis and a sharp, deep slice in his left ninth rib. "What we've got is a rib injury, with any number of scenarios that could explain it," said study researcher Steven Churchill, an associate professor of evolutionary anthropology at Duke University in North Carolina. "We're not suggesting there was a blitzkrieg, with modern humans marching across the land and executing the Neanderthals. I want to say that loud and clear." But he added, "We think the best explanation for this injury is a projectile weapon, and given who had those and who didn't, that implies at least one act of inter-species aggression." Scientists are continuing to refine their understanding of early Homo sapiens and Neanderthals, with hopes of also resolving the mystery of how the latter species went extinct while we did not. Past research has yielded conflicting evidence on interbreeding between the two species, but the new study clearly shows the opposite of affection. In fact, another Neanderthal skeleton dating back some 36,000 years and found in France showed signs of a scalp injury likely caused by a sharp object that may have been delivered by a modern human at the time, Churchill said. "So if the Shanidar 3 case is also a case of inter-specific violence and if Shandiar 3 overlaps in time with modern humans, we're beginning to get a little bit of a pattern here." Competition for resources with modern humans, along with other factors, may have also played a role in the die-off of Neanderthals, the researchers say. So there you go, the murder weapon: A spear. The evidence: A body with a spear wound. The motive: Survival via gang violence, self-defense, a wife interbreeding with the Neanderthal, who knows? More questions than answers at this point...but we'll see if the authorities can get to the bottom of this on the next episode of Law & Order (dun duh).
Gidget Es Muerto - Gidget the Chihuahua, the bug-eyed, big-eared star of 1990s Taco Bell commercials who was a diva on and off the screen, has died. She was 15 years old. Gidget suffered a massive stroke late Tuesday night at her trainer's home in Santa Clarita and had to be euthanized, said Karin McElhatton, owner of Studio Animal Services in Castaic, which owned the dog. Although she was hard of hearing, Gidget was otherwise in good health up to the day of her death, eating well and playing with her favorite squeaky toys at the home of trainer Sue Chipperton, McElhatton said. "She was retired. She lived like a queen, very pampered," McElhatton said. Gidget was found at a kennel and wasn't show quality with an undershot jaw and huge ears...but Gidget knew she was a star, McElhatton said. "She was a prima donna, basically. She absolutely knew when she was on camera." In a 1997 Taco Bell television commercial, Gidget was seen as a male dog who, through the magic of special effects and a voice actor, proclaims in a richly accented voice: "Yo quiero Taco Bell" — Spanish for "I want Taco Bell." Viewers were charmed. What was supposed to be a single ad became a campaign that ran from 1997 to 2000. The ads made the Taco Bell mascot wildly popular, although they provoked criticism from activists who accused them of promoting Hispanic stereotypes. While other Chihuahuas had bit parts, McElhatton said it was Gidget who got the close-ups and the quips (Carlos Alazraqui of Reno 911 was the voice). Gidget traveled first-class, opened up the New York Stock Exchange and made an appearance at Madison Square Garden. In later years, she did other acting work, appearing in a 2002 commercial for the insurance company GEICO and in the 2003 movie "Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde." She remained the object of affection after her retirement, going on hikes and beach visits with her trainer. She aged gracefully, and liked nothing more than to snooze in the sun. "She was like a little old lady. She'd kind of gotten smaller." Gidget will be cremated. Her owners had not decided on a final disposition of her remains. Taco Bell Corp. said in a statement Gidget would be missed by many. "Our deepest sympathies go out to her owners and fans." Now I'm hungry for a Chicken Grilled Stuft Burrito. Damn you Gidget!!!
Your Next President - Ladies & gentlemen, I apologize. I said over two years ago...that Arnold Schwarzenegger would be President in 2012...and I still think it's true...but sometimes, I have to wonder if he takes the job seriously. Normally, when a tall, muscular man (possibly cyborg) wields a 2-foot-long knife on-camera, it's usually not for a thank-you video...but that's what the Governator Arnold Schwarzenegger has done on his Twitter account, where the Republican actor-turned-governor posted a video message Tuesday thanking followers for their budget-balancing ideas as the state tries to fix a $26 billion deficit. In the video, he sits at his desk in the state Capitol admiring a 2-foot-long folding knife before addressing viewers and saying he likes one follower's suggestion to autograph a fleet of state-owned vehicles being put up for auction on Craigslist and eBay. "You come up with the great ideas. Why not just sign the cars since you're a celebrity governor? Sign the cars and sell it for more money. That's exactly what we're going to do." The governor's spokesman, Aaron McLear, said the knife was a gift from a friend and arrived Tuesday, and that the governor is serious about signing the auctioned vehicles. The auction, planned for late August, was prompted by tips from state employees and put into motion through an executive order. Officials estimate that selling 15 percent of California's 40,000 government vehicles could raise about $24 million. Schwarzenegger defended the Twitter video Wednesday when asked by a reporter whether it was appropriate at a time when the state is making deep cuts that are affecting the lives of the poor, elderly, children, college students and government employees. The state also is trying to close the budget gap by furloughing state workers three days a month. Schwarzenegger said he shot the Web clip because he does not want to be seen as "El Stiffo," suggesting previous governors were less colorful than he is (hmm, some might say...Grey). The governor said he doesn't enjoy making budget cuts but does need to keep his sense of humor. "Not that I have fun with making the cuts — they sadden me — but ... that doesn't mean that you cannot wave a knife around, or to wave your sword around, to get the message across that certain cuts have to be made because it's budget time," Schwarzenegger said during the news conference. Under a compromise plan he reached earlier this week with legislative leaders, the state would cut $6 billion from K-12 schools and community colleges, as well as $3 billion from state universities. Prisons, health care and welfare programs also would be cut. The revised budget plan is scheduled to be considered Thursday in the Legislature. McLear said the governor made the clip because he wants to respond to innovative ideas, wherever they originate. The video had received more than 33,000 hits by Wednesday afternoon. It's a great approach in my opinion. It shows that (though through the filter of his subsidiaries) that the people are being listened to...and they're trying to have a feasible state budget and get back to stability instead of a 12% unemployment and fire season's about to start up there in California too. Sure, he may have married into political prestige and won a popularity vote against Gary Coleman...but at least he's making an effort...and he realizes that where he lacks, he's not afraid to ask others for help and suggestions...and when the decision needs to be made, he has the testicular fortitude to do something about it. That's the kind of leader I want. That...and have you seen the guy swing a broadsword? I mean...I haven't recently...but he knew his stuff at one time...and I assume being a warrior of epic proportions is a lot like riding a bike. Anyway, that's just my take...and I really wanted to post this picture in the right context. Take THAT, print newspapers!!!Well, that'll do it for today. Big weekend planned so it may be a few days before you hear from me...but rest assured, I already have a few incredible new stories ready to share...and I'll be drinking, so maybe some more crazy ass dreams too. Have a great weekend everybody!!! Happy Pioneer Day!!!
Alex - Clockwork Orange - Illustration by Dimitri Kozma
This is a tribute of Stanley Kubrick's cult movie Clockwork Orange and the psycho Alex DeLarge, perfectly performed by Malcolm McDowell. For me, this a one of greatest movies of all time.
I did this vector illustration very quickly, using only Adobe illustrator with a tablet pen. Click to enlarge.
I did this vector illustration very quickly, using only Adobe illustrator with a tablet pen. Click to enlarge.
The Money and The Door - Illustration by Dimitri Kozma
This illustration show a guy locked in a money trap, looking a path with a very small door. Surrealism to make you have your own opinion about this work. Click to enlarge.
Square Head guy - Illustration
This is the first illustration made with my own freaky style. It's a quick rough, made very fast, but this is like a seed, or origin, of the new exclusive style.
It's a bit different, but the idea was there. Made with pen and paper.
It's a bit different, but the idea was there. Made with pen and paper.
Poor Kids - Charge by Dimitri Kozma
This is a charge about a sad social problem. I don't know about the other countries, but in Brazil, many poor children stay on car stops, making circus tricks and begging for money. I did this charge in cartoon style to criticize this fact and suggest another way: Education!
I hope you like. Click to enlarge.
I hope you like. Click to enlarge.
New Optical Illusion : In and Out Optical Illusion
Joe Jonas Accidentally Hit Nick's Hand With Drumstick at Concert (Video)
Joe Jonas accidentally hit Nick's hand with a drum stick while he was trying to play his brother’s drum during the Jonas Brothers' concert in Philadelphia Friday night (July 24).
Luckily, Nick wasn't seriously injured. But he looked like he felt really painful as he had to take a moment break before continuing their show.
Check out the video of Joe Jonas accidentally smashes Nick's hand below:
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Carrie Prejean Singing: Dethroned Miss California Sings With Bing at a Racetrack in California (Video)
Carrie Prejean, the dethroned Miss California 2009, tries to sing!
The 22-year-old former beauty queen, who gained wild public attention over her answer to a question about same-sex marriage earlier this year, sang a little tune at a Del Mar racetrack in California on the opening day this week.
Check out the video of Carrie Prejean sings with bing below:
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Fashionable Pin-Ups
Pin-ups had become fashionable. Since years photographers and designers discovered the nostalgic charm of that once despised artwork.
A very beautiful series was made by the photographer Bruno Dayan for Chantal Thomass.
Probably Dayan didn’t think in a special painter when he made his photos. But he wanted to imitate not only the costumes and poses but also the colors and the artificial surface.
It sounds good to me (1942) by David Wright (1912–1967)
Sleepy-Time Girl (1930s) by Gil Elvgren (1914-1980)
A very beautiful series was made by the photographer Bruno Dayan for Chantal Thomass.
Probably Dayan didn’t think in a special painter when he made his photos. But he wanted to imitate not only the costumes and poses but also the colors and the artificial surface.
It sounds good to me (1942) by David Wright (1912–1967)
Sleepy-Time Girl (1930s) by Gil Elvgren (1914-1980)
LeAnn Rimes and Husband Split: LeAnn Rimes & Dean Shermott Separated Following Rumored Affair With Eddie Cibrian
LeAnn Rimes and husband Dean Shermott picture
LeAnn Rimes and her husband of seven years, Dean Shermott, have announced their separation after four months of rumors claiming the singer-actress allegedly having an affair with actor Eddie Cibrian.
"Le and Dean have been separated for quite some time now, but they're continuing to try and work through their relationship”, a Rimes pal told People magaizne.
LeAnn married Dean in 2002, when she was only 19.
Eddie Cibrianand and wife Brandi Glanville picture
LeAnn Rimes and her Northern Lights co-star Eddie Cibrian, who are both married, were photographed kissing and holding hands during a March 7 date this year. The two were reportedly caught again together on July 17.
Earlier this week, Eddie's wife Brandi Glanville announced on Us Weekly that they were splitting because “I want to do what is best for our children. Eddie and LeAnn deserve each other.”
Katie Holmes So You Think You Can Dance Performance (Video)
Katie Holmes showed off her legs, singing and dancing during a guest appearance for So You Think You Can Dance show Thursday night (July 23).
The 30-year-old actress performed Get Happy to pay tribute to Judy Garland on the 100th episode for the TV dance series. She donated all of her performance fees to the Dizzy Feeet Foundation, which funds dance lessons for kids.
However, the performance, which was actually pre-taped, draws mixed reviews from critics and fans.
Check out the video of Katie Holmes' So You Think You Can Dance Performance below:
Friday, July 24, 2009
Gwyneth Paltrow Cooking Lesson on Roasted Chicken and Potatoes (Video)
Gwyneth Paltrow shared her culinary skills with fans by posting an 8-minute video showing how to make a quick roast chicken and potatoes with salad.
In the video posted on her website Goop this week, Gwyneth talked about her love of cooking and food as she preparing for the roast. The 36-year-old actress revealed she learned to cook in her teens after getting sick of frozen meatballs.
"Over the years, it's become a major passion. I think about cooking all the time. It's what I lie in bed thinking about at night, which is maybe a problem”, the mother-of-two said.
Check out the video of Gwyneth Paltrow’s cooking lesson below:
New Optical Illusion : Poggendorff Optical Illusion
The Poggendorff Illusion is an optical illusion that involves the brain’s perception of the interaction between diagonal lines and horizontal and vertical edges.
It is named after Johann Poggendorff (1796-1877), a German physicist who first described it in 1860. In the image above, a straight black and red line is obscured by a grey rectangle. The blue line appears, instead of the red line, to be the same as the black one, which is clearly shown not to be the case in the second picture.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Sexual Her Ass Mint
Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
Yesterday I was surprisingly lazy...but then again, I was really tired all day from waking up early for work...even after a Powernap. I think the heat has something to do with it too. You know, being in Vegas and its 115 degrees for a few days...and then coming home to a crisp cool 98 degrees here in Utah for a few days. Summer's awesome. Anyway, enough about all that. Today at work, I had...you guessed it, yet another sexual harassment training. This one had a company video made in 1993 (and the fashion showed) but yeah, it was pretty hard hitting. Then I thought back to my professional career...and the massive amount of innuendo ("in your end-o") and conversations that've gone on at the workplace (you ALL were part of them, I'm sure) and yeah, it's a good thing I'm charming. If I make anybody uncomfortable though, feel free to let me know. I'll stop. I try to keep it PG-13. On that note, here's the news...
Where Do You Like To Stick Yours? - In London, a saucy radio advert for sausages which encouraged listeners to reveal "where you like to stick yours" was criticized by Britain's advertising watchdog on Wednesday. The ads for Mattesons smoked sausages elicited 21 complaints from listeners who said they were offensive because of the sexual innuendo ("in your end-o") and should not have been aired when children were likely to be listening (to the radio?). One ad suggests, "Think about all the things you can stick this tasty, extraordinarily large sausage in. Mmm... Pizza, pasta, stir fry. You have any ideas? Give me a call and tell me where you like to stick it." Kerry Foods, which makes the sausages, said its adverts were intended to be tongue-in-cheek and were not designed to be offensive. The Advertising Standards Authority did not uphold the complaints about the innuendo because it was not sexually explicit, but said the ads could "cause harm to children." It ruled the ads should not be aired at times when they were likely to be heard by children. I'd like to see the Sexual Harassment training film for Kerry Foods...or any other sausage factory for that matter. It's just so...ripe for parody. For that matter, why not plumbers, carpet layers, or an assortment of other trades? I can just imagine the orientation video for a neighbor to my former employer, EVCO - House of Hose. "Here at EVCO, we pride ourselves on making the finest hose in the industry. If you need hose, we've got every kind to meet your needs. Wide hose, narrow hose, flexible hose, sturdy hose, soft hose, ribbed hose, kinky hose, every dimension and color, ready to fill any nook or cranny, whatever your desired need, we can make provide. You are now part of that team that specializes in providing the means to get those fluids flowing, anywhere, anytime. Welcome to EVCO, the House...of Hose. Now, I'll turn the time over to your trainer, Madame Sasha."
Flat Rate Brothels - Speaking of hose, prostitutes in Germany (Schlampen?) are fighting back against attempts by conservative politicians and some irate residents to stop popular "flat-rate" brothels. Officials in the state of Baden-Wuerttemberg launched moves to stop one brothel with a "flat-rate" fee system because they viewed it as inhumane for women to provide unlimited sexual services all day for a one-off 70 Euros (£60) fee (HWWWWWHAT???). But a group of 77 prostitutes bought advertising space in two national dailies to argue that this was simply a ruse to get brothels banned altogether. "Get off our backs -- no ban on brothels with or without 'flat rates'," read the headline in the quarter-page adverts. Under the guise of 'humane working conditions', they are in reality plotting to ban brothels and threaten our livelihood." For a 70 Euros charge customers are entitled to all the sex, food and drink they want between 10 a.m. and 4 p.m. The evening flat rate rises to 100 Euros. Pussy Club operator (yes, that's her official title) Patricia Floreiu has said most customers leave after at most two sessions (probably with a huge smile on their face). There are at least four such "flat rate" brothels across Germany, a country where prostitution is legal (oh yeah). Heribert Rech, Baden-Wuerttemberg's Christian Democrat interior minister, has led a campaign against the "Pussy Club" establishment in the town of Fellbach, saying the "favorable price suggests women there are being exploited." But Juanita Henning, the leader of Dona Carmen in Frankfurt, told Reuters that critics want to reverse a 2002 law that gives prostitutes extensive legal rights and protection. "This is nothing more than a moral campaign. If they looked more closely at the offer they'd see a man can get all the sexual services he wants but not from one woman. It's pure ignorance and prejudice against the industry." So there you go...and I think you know which side of the argument I'm with. Let's see, a lunch special of about $100 for all the food, drink & sexual excess with a buffet of frauleins who know how to handle their sausage and their beer for a six-hour period in the middle of the day (or after a long hard one at work, the rate goes up another $50 for a similar situation) or...do I side with a group that's trying to take away these girls' livelihoods and send them to the streets to fend for themselves in a crumbling economy? You tell me. I REFUSE to put these prostitutes on the streets. Wait...yeah. Yeah, that's right. It's cold out there on them streets. Especially in northern Germany...and there are bears out there...and maybe wolves too...and trolls. Are you suggesting that we feed these women to the TROLLS? How DARE you, Heribert Rech!!! For shame. I am going to do my part to show support for these women. Who wants to go to Germany with me? Let's make a stand...or preferably sit down...or even lie back and be fed black forest cake by eine huebsche maedchen while another Bavarian beauty struts holding two frosty mugs of Lowenbrau. Seriously, do you have any idea who much that costs here in the States? Even on your birthday? By the way, ladies, that's another birthday idea...and you have until April to plan it out. Anyway, shame on you, Heribert!!!
Shame on Fort Myers - The mayor of a small southwest Florida town on Thursday defended the town council's decision to fire its city manager...after officials learned his wife is an adult film actress. Mayor Larry Kiker insisted that Scott Janke's termination had nothing to do with his spouse's job, that the town was merely trying to maintain order. "What we were addressing was a situation where we weren't going to be able to govern the town with all the disruption and interruption," Kiker said. The plan appears to have backfired. "I've done over 30 interviews (with media) ... I've gotten hundreds of e-mails, we're getting threatened. Nobody is getting any work done around here." Still, Kiker insisted that Janke wasn't fired because of his wife's job. "We didn't fire him because his wife was a porn star," Kiker griped, adding that the decision wasn't a "knee-jerk reaction." However, the mayor also noted: "It was not his job performance. We all liked Scott ... He's a good guy." Kiker said he learned of Janke's wife's job after receiving a telephone call from a reporter on Tuesday. He said he then spoke to Janke, who agreed "this was going to be a big disruption for the town and he was not going to be able to do his job well." Within a few hours, Kiker had called an emergency town council meeting, and the group voted 5-0 to exercise a "no-cause" clause in Janke's contract, effectively firing him. Councilman Tom Babcock said at a council meeting Wednesday that Janke was fired because his wife's profession brought an inaccurate image to Fort Myers Beach. "When you become a public figure you are held to a different level of scrutiny and ethics," Babcock said at the meeting. Janke told The Associated Press on Wednesday night that he and his wife had their "heads held high." "We have done nothing to be embarrassed about. We've done nothing wrong," Janke said. He said it's too early to think about what's next, and wouldn't comment on any possible legal action. He will get a severance package worth six months salary, which comes to about $50,000, plus health benefits. Janke said he married Anabela Mota Janke, who goes by the stage name Jazella Moore, in October. He began working for the town in March 2008. Diane Duke, executive director of the Free Speech Coalition, a trade association for the adult entertainment industry, said the firing could present legal problems for the town. Duke said even with a "no-cause" clause in Jenke's contract, as a government employee he is still protected by the First Amendment (under the seldom-quoted freedom to f**k whoever I want stipulation insisted upon by Thomas Jefferson). "There may very well be a case here," she said. Meanwhile, the issue is the talk of the town. "Everyone who lives on the island has made comments," said Jaye Duval, owner of the Sole Cafe, who listened to all the gossip as residents gathered for morning coffee and breakfast. "Everybody I've heard has basically thought he should have been able to keep his job. Most people think what his wife does shouldn't matter." George Noakes, manager of the Sunflower Cafe in town, called it "prejudice." "I thought the guy was doing a good job. I don't understand why his wife is even an issue. Whatever she does, that's none of our concern. We shouldn't even be bothered with it." Think of it this way, the Governor of South Carolina still has his job, right? But this guy is unemployed because he married a wonderful woman who happens to make a few dollars in the adult entertainment industry. For shame, Fort Myers. You're now my least favorite city in Florida...passing Pensacola...and that was only because some people insist on calling it P-Cola...and that's just gross. You've passed it though. I can't even look at you. I'm changing the subject back to innuendo & metaphor.
I'd Plow Her Field - Farmers in an eastern Indian state have asked their unmarried daughters to plough parched fields naked in a bid to embarrass the weather gods to bring some badly needed monsoon rain, officials said on Thursday. Witnesses said the naked girls in Bihar state ploughed the fields and chanted ancient hymns after sunset to invoke the gods. They said elderly village women helped the girls drag the ploughs (I'm assuming clothed). "They (villagers) believe their acts would get the weather gods badly embarrassed, who in turn would ensure bumper crops by sending rains," Upendra Kumar, a village council official, said from Bihar's remote Banke Bazaar town. "This is the most trusted social custom in the area and the villagers have vowed to continue this practice until it rains very heavily." India this year suffered its worst start to the vital monsoon rains in eight decades, causing drought in some states. So to recap, farmers have asked their unwed (so I'm assuming virgin in their culture) daughters...to plough (or plow in the President's English) their dry barren fields...while naked. Why? To EMBARASS the weather gods, who in their obvious embarrassment (which must be the same Hindu word for "arousal") while drench their fields (and their daughters) with their sweet life-giving god juice and make their fields fertile. I may not understand their logic or their culture or their mythology...but I like the end result...and I can understand where it came from. I have ideas like this all the time...but I never share it with the townspeople and try to convince their daughters to run around naked in a field...but perhaps I should from now on. "Okay everybody, I know we've had a rough season...especially on the economic front...but I have a solution. What we need to do...is have our unwed & virtuous daughters, 18 years & older, to spend their evenings dancing around in as little clothing as possible. This will cause dollar bills to be brought forth by passersby...or perhaps falling from the skies...as people in upstairs apartments, as the Bible says, make it rain. Ladies & gentlemen, our economic problems will be over." "That's ridiculous." "I assume you madam, it is not. It has worked in the past for single mothers, college students, crack addicts, club hoppers, fire starters, miller's daughters and every other kind of daughter out there since time was time. I have researched it...thoroughly. And believe me when I say thoroughly. I'm just coming up with solutions here. Please, if you have any better ideas, feel free to share them." "Well, if we put money back into our infrastructure, then the..." "OH YES!!! Put MORE money into our inferstructure. It's worked well so far. I'm sorry madam...but the time has come to stop putting money into inferstructure...and start putting more money in-her-structure." Hmm, maybe I should start doing that...
Apocalypsssssss - So in my ongoing coverage of the forecoming Apocalypse being brought upon by demon snakes, I give you this update...again, from India. A stray snake brought parliament to a standstill for several hours on Thursday in India's Orissa state, officials said. A cleaner spotted the intruder, believed to be a king cobra (or at least was planning to crown itself King Cobra), while sweeping in the morning and called the assembly's watchman. The speaker of the assembly in the state capital Bhubaneswar adjourned the house as security personnel, wildlife officials and a member of a local snake helpline searched unsuccessfully for the creature with the help of a sniffer dog. Snakes are straying more frequently into built-up areas because construction has driven the reptiles out of their habitat, according to wildlife expert Biswajit Mohanty. So yes, they have moved from taking over police stations...and are now going straight to parliament to bring legislation to a standstill...and then vanishing like a ninja...leaving behind a sense of terror and dread. The funniest part...is they're not even sure if it was a king cobra...or really there for that matter. Government was shut down by what might have been a snake caught out of the corner of the eye of a janitor. I feel safe. How about you? Prepare for the rapture.
Well, that'll do it for today. Obviously a little more lighthearted and sexier than the past few entries...but I know that's what you ladies like. My sexual harassment class taught me that earlier today. Please correct me if I've been misinformed. Tonight my friend Spitsofrantic is performing a few blocks from my house at the Hookah Lounge downtown at 268 S Main Street right here in Slick City. Come be part of the Hip Hop Revolution...and I'll buy you a drink. Have a great night everybody!!!
Yesterday I was surprisingly lazy...but then again, I was really tired all day from waking up early for work...even after a Powernap. I think the heat has something to do with it too. You know, being in Vegas and its 115 degrees for a few days...and then coming home to a crisp cool 98 degrees here in Utah for a few days. Summer's awesome. Anyway, enough about all that. Today at work, I had...you guessed it, yet another sexual harassment training. This one had a company video made in 1993 (and the fashion showed) but yeah, it was pretty hard hitting. Then I thought back to my professional career...and the massive amount of innuendo ("in your end-o") and conversations that've gone on at the workplace (you ALL were part of them, I'm sure) and yeah, it's a good thing I'm charming. If I make anybody uncomfortable though, feel free to let me know. I'll stop. I try to keep it PG-13. On that note, here's the news...
Where Do You Like To Stick Yours? - In London, a saucy radio advert for sausages which encouraged listeners to reveal "where you like to stick yours" was criticized by Britain's advertising watchdog on Wednesday. The ads for Mattesons smoked sausages elicited 21 complaints from listeners who said they were offensive because of the sexual innuendo ("in your end-o") and should not have been aired when children were likely to be listening (to the radio?). One ad suggests, "Think about all the things you can stick this tasty, extraordinarily large sausage in. Mmm... Pizza, pasta, stir fry. You have any ideas? Give me a call and tell me where you like to stick it." Kerry Foods, which makes the sausages, said its adverts were intended to be tongue-in-cheek and were not designed to be offensive. The Advertising Standards Authority did not uphold the complaints about the innuendo because it was not sexually explicit, but said the ads could "cause harm to children." It ruled the ads should not be aired at times when they were likely to be heard by children. I'd like to see the Sexual Harassment training film for Kerry Foods...or any other sausage factory for that matter. It's just so...ripe for parody. For that matter, why not plumbers, carpet layers, or an assortment of other trades? I can just imagine the orientation video for a neighbor to my former employer, EVCO - House of Hose. "Here at EVCO, we pride ourselves on making the finest hose in the industry. If you need hose, we've got every kind to meet your needs. Wide hose, narrow hose, flexible hose, sturdy hose, soft hose, ribbed hose, kinky hose, every dimension and color, ready to fill any nook or cranny, whatever your desired need, we can make provide. You are now part of that team that specializes in providing the means to get those fluids flowing, anywhere, anytime. Welcome to EVCO, the House...of Hose. Now, I'll turn the time over to your trainer, Madame Sasha."
Flat Rate Brothels - Speaking of hose, prostitutes in Germany (Schlampen?) are fighting back against attempts by conservative politicians and some irate residents to stop popular "flat-rate" brothels. Officials in the state of Baden-Wuerttemberg launched moves to stop one brothel with a "flat-rate" fee system because they viewed it as inhumane for women to provide unlimited sexual services all day for a one-off 70 Euros (£60) fee (HWWWWWHAT???). But a group of 77 prostitutes bought advertising space in two national dailies to argue that this was simply a ruse to get brothels banned altogether. "Get off our backs -- no ban on brothels with or without 'flat rates'," read the headline in the quarter-page adverts. Under the guise of 'humane working conditions', they are in reality plotting to ban brothels and threaten our livelihood." For a 70 Euros charge customers are entitled to all the sex, food and drink they want between 10 a.m. and 4 p.m. The evening flat rate rises to 100 Euros. Pussy Club operator (yes, that's her official title) Patricia Floreiu has said most customers leave after at most two sessions (probably with a huge smile on their face). There are at least four such "flat rate" brothels across Germany, a country where prostitution is legal (oh yeah). Heribert Rech, Baden-Wuerttemberg's Christian Democrat interior minister, has led a campaign against the "Pussy Club" establishment in the town of Fellbach, saying the "favorable price suggests women there are being exploited." But Juanita Henning, the leader of Dona Carmen in Frankfurt, told Reuters that critics want to reverse a 2002 law that gives prostitutes extensive legal rights and protection. "This is nothing more than a moral campaign. If they looked more closely at the offer they'd see a man can get all the sexual services he wants but not from one woman. It's pure ignorance and prejudice against the industry." So there you go...and I think you know which side of the argument I'm with. Let's see, a lunch special of about $100 for all the food, drink & sexual excess with a buffet of frauleins who know how to handle their sausage and their beer for a six-hour period in the middle of the day (or after a long hard one at work, the rate goes up another $50 for a similar situation) or...do I side with a group that's trying to take away these girls' livelihoods and send them to the streets to fend for themselves in a crumbling economy? You tell me. I REFUSE to put these prostitutes on the streets. Wait...yeah. Yeah, that's right. It's cold out there on them streets. Especially in northern Germany...and there are bears out there...and maybe wolves too...and trolls. Are you suggesting that we feed these women to the TROLLS? How DARE you, Heribert Rech!!! For shame. I am going to do my part to show support for these women. Who wants to go to Germany with me? Let's make a stand...or preferably sit down...or even lie back and be fed black forest cake by eine huebsche maedchen while another Bavarian beauty struts holding two frosty mugs of Lowenbrau. Seriously, do you have any idea who much that costs here in the States? Even on your birthday? By the way, ladies, that's another birthday idea...and you have until April to plan it out. Anyway, shame on you, Heribert!!!
Shame on Fort Myers - The mayor of a small southwest Florida town on Thursday defended the town council's decision to fire its city manager...after officials learned his wife is an adult film actress. Mayor Larry Kiker insisted that Scott Janke's termination had nothing to do with his spouse's job, that the town was merely trying to maintain order. "What we were addressing was a situation where we weren't going to be able to govern the town with all the disruption and interruption," Kiker said. The plan appears to have backfired. "I've done over 30 interviews (with media) ... I've gotten hundreds of e-mails, we're getting threatened. Nobody is getting any work done around here." Still, Kiker insisted that Janke wasn't fired because of his wife's job. "We didn't fire him because his wife was a porn star," Kiker griped, adding that the decision wasn't a "knee-jerk reaction." However, the mayor also noted: "It was not his job performance. We all liked Scott ... He's a good guy." Kiker said he learned of Janke's wife's job after receiving a telephone call from a reporter on Tuesday. He said he then spoke to Janke, who agreed "this was going to be a big disruption for the town and he was not going to be able to do his job well." Within a few hours, Kiker had called an emergency town council meeting, and the group voted 5-0 to exercise a "no-cause" clause in Janke's contract, effectively firing him. Councilman Tom Babcock said at a council meeting Wednesday that Janke was fired because his wife's profession brought an inaccurate image to Fort Myers Beach. "When you become a public figure you are held to a different level of scrutiny and ethics," Babcock said at the meeting. Janke told The Associated Press on Wednesday night that he and his wife had their "heads held high." "We have done nothing to be embarrassed about. We've done nothing wrong," Janke said. He said it's too early to think about what's next, and wouldn't comment on any possible legal action. He will get a severance package worth six months salary, which comes to about $50,000, plus health benefits. Janke said he married Anabela Mota Janke, who goes by the stage name Jazella Moore, in October. He began working for the town in March 2008. Diane Duke, executive director of the Free Speech Coalition, a trade association for the adult entertainment industry, said the firing could present legal problems for the town. Duke said even with a "no-cause" clause in Jenke's contract, as a government employee he is still protected by the First Amendment (under the seldom-quoted freedom to f**k whoever I want stipulation insisted upon by Thomas Jefferson). "There may very well be a case here," she said. Meanwhile, the issue is the talk of the town. "Everyone who lives on the island has made comments," said Jaye Duval, owner of the Sole Cafe, who listened to all the gossip as residents gathered for morning coffee and breakfast. "Everybody I've heard has basically thought he should have been able to keep his job. Most people think what his wife does shouldn't matter." George Noakes, manager of the Sunflower Cafe in town, called it "prejudice." "I thought the guy was doing a good job. I don't understand why his wife is even an issue. Whatever she does, that's none of our concern. We shouldn't even be bothered with it." Think of it this way, the Governor of South Carolina still has his job, right? But this guy is unemployed because he married a wonderful woman who happens to make a few dollars in the adult entertainment industry. For shame, Fort Myers. You're now my least favorite city in Florida...passing Pensacola...and that was only because some people insist on calling it P-Cola...and that's just gross. You've passed it though. I can't even look at you. I'm changing the subject back to innuendo & metaphor.
I'd Plow Her Field - Farmers in an eastern Indian state have asked their unmarried daughters to plough parched fields naked in a bid to embarrass the weather gods to bring some badly needed monsoon rain, officials said on Thursday. Witnesses said the naked girls in Bihar state ploughed the fields and chanted ancient hymns after sunset to invoke the gods. They said elderly village women helped the girls drag the ploughs (I'm assuming clothed). "They (villagers) believe their acts would get the weather gods badly embarrassed, who in turn would ensure bumper crops by sending rains," Upendra Kumar, a village council official, said from Bihar's remote Banke Bazaar town. "This is the most trusted social custom in the area and the villagers have vowed to continue this practice until it rains very heavily." India this year suffered its worst start to the vital monsoon rains in eight decades, causing drought in some states. So to recap, farmers have asked their unwed (so I'm assuming virgin in their culture) daughters...to plough (or plow in the President's English) their dry barren fields...while naked. Why? To EMBARASS the weather gods, who in their obvious embarrassment (which must be the same Hindu word for "arousal") while drench their fields (and their daughters) with their sweet life-giving god juice and make their fields fertile. I may not understand their logic or their culture or their mythology...but I like the end result...and I can understand where it came from. I have ideas like this all the time...but I never share it with the townspeople and try to convince their daughters to run around naked in a field...but perhaps I should from now on. "Okay everybody, I know we've had a rough season...especially on the economic front...but I have a solution. What we need to do...is have our unwed & virtuous daughters, 18 years & older, to spend their evenings dancing around in as little clothing as possible. This will cause dollar bills to be brought forth by passersby...or perhaps falling from the skies...as people in upstairs apartments, as the Bible says, make it rain. Ladies & gentlemen, our economic problems will be over." "That's ridiculous." "I assume you madam, it is not. It has worked in the past for single mothers, college students, crack addicts, club hoppers, fire starters, miller's daughters and every other kind of daughter out there since time was time. I have researched it...thoroughly. And believe me when I say thoroughly. I'm just coming up with solutions here. Please, if you have any better ideas, feel free to share them." "Well, if we put money back into our infrastructure, then the..." "OH YES!!! Put MORE money into our inferstructure. It's worked well so far. I'm sorry madam...but the time has come to stop putting money into inferstructure...and start putting more money in-her-structure." Hmm, maybe I should start doing that...
Apocalypsssssss - So in my ongoing coverage of the forecoming Apocalypse being brought upon by demon snakes, I give you this update...again, from India. A stray snake brought parliament to a standstill for several hours on Thursday in India's Orissa state, officials said. A cleaner spotted the intruder, believed to be a king cobra (or at least was planning to crown itself King Cobra), while sweeping in the morning and called the assembly's watchman. The speaker of the assembly in the state capital Bhubaneswar adjourned the house as security personnel, wildlife officials and a member of a local snake helpline searched unsuccessfully for the creature with the help of a sniffer dog. Snakes are straying more frequently into built-up areas because construction has driven the reptiles out of their habitat, according to wildlife expert Biswajit Mohanty. So yes, they have moved from taking over police stations...and are now going straight to parliament to bring legislation to a standstill...and then vanishing like a ninja...leaving behind a sense of terror and dread. The funniest part...is they're not even sure if it was a king cobra...or really there for that matter. Government was shut down by what might have been a snake caught out of the corner of the eye of a janitor. I feel safe. How about you? Prepare for the rapture.Well, that'll do it for today. Obviously a little more lighthearted and sexier than the past few entries...but I know that's what you ladies like. My sexual harassment class taught me that earlier today. Please correct me if I've been misinformed. Tonight my friend Spitsofrantic is performing a few blocks from my house at the Hookah Lounge downtown at 268 S Main Street right here in Slick City. Come be part of the Hip Hop Revolution...and I'll buy you a drink. Have a great night everybody!!!
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