RINO REMINDER

Senator Lamar Alexander is the traitorous senator from Tennessee who voted to confirm the racist judge, Sonya Sotomayor. Never again will I vote for Lamar Alexander. He is not up for re-election until 2014, but I intend to post this reminder each and every month until then. I hope he either resigns or they run a true conservative against him in the primary. I challenge my fellow bloggers to do the same if you have RINO's in your state that need to go. I may add my other senator, Bob Corker, to this reminder. I'm waiting for him to cross the aisle again and work with Dimocrats.

It is with sadness that I have added my congresswoman, Marsha Blackburn to the RINO Reminder list. She voted for the BOEHNER bill and has voted to raise the debt ceiling, thereby COMPROMISING and selling us out to the Dimocrats and the establishment Republicans. I have let congresswoman Blackburn know that I am looking forward to voting for a primary challenger against her in 2012. I hope there is one.

Mint & Blue

  I love this jacket from H&M trend, it is so versatile; it looks great on jeans and on black and has the perfect fabric, color and cut. The jeans is from Zara, the sweater is from H&M top, the shoes are from ACNE, the YSL inspired ring is from Beginningboutique, the bag is from VJ-style, the nailpolish is Chanel's Nouvelle Vague and the sunglasses are from Prada.

Your New Baby is MORALLY IRRELEVANT

A group of liberal lunatics at Oxford University have declared that newborn babies are "morally irrelevant", are not "actual persons", and do not have "a moral right to life". They assert that killing these babies is no different that aborting them before birth. Read the article HERE.

Sweet Wifey posted on this as well. Go read about it HERE. I'm not going to say anything else other than this is where you find yourself when you subscribe to liberal principles and attach yourself to the Democrat party.

It's absolutely unbelievable. Jesus has got to be weeping from His throne in heaven. Oh, wait, someone is going to think I am a religious fanatic and not looking at this intellectually!

Not a person! No right to life! Kill it now!

Will the REAL Doctor Please Stand Up?

Sweet Wifey and I went to the movies last night. Before the show begins, the theater has advertisements on the screen. One particular ad was talking about a medical clinic in Jackson, Tn. and mentioned a DOCTOR So-and So. On the first pass I thought I saw something a little funny. On the second pass I read the fine print and determined that DOCTOR So-and-So was not an MD doctor but rather held a degree called “Doctor of nursing practice”. Of course nowhere in the audio accompanying the ad was there a mention that Dr. So-and-So was not an MD.

Now I have no particular problem with nurse practitioners. In fact I preceptor a nurse practitioner (holds a masters degree) who is very well qualified and is smarter than a bunch of MD doctors I know.

What does bug me is when people slap the term DOCTOR in front of their name, implying that they are medical doctors but instead hold some other kind of doctorate.

Dr. Anna Marie

There is a “doctor” on TV called DOCTOR Anna Marie who advertises herself as a health specialist. I think she is somehow connected with the Weather Channel. I have seen a few of her spots from time to time and never do I remember a disclaimer from her telling the audience that she WAS NOT a medical doctor. No, she is a podiatrist. Now I don’t have anything against podiatrists. They have to go to school and have to perfect surgical skills to practice their profession. But if you’re going to advertise yourself as a doctor, you should specify what type of doctor you happen to be. I have nothing against Anna Marie DPM, but why do I have to do a search to discover her actual credentials? We had a staff podiatrist at a hospital where I used to practice. She could not admit patients on her own. One of us MD types had to do the admitting and then she could do her podiatric procedures. You get the idea. Rules may be different in other states.

I remember an ad on TV for some sort of gadget purported to reduce the size of your waistline. The product was endorsed by a Dr. Feelgood. If you read the fine print you discovered that Dr. Feelgood was a chiropractor, not a medical doctor, but if you had your eyes closed and not carefully reading the screen, you’d never know the difference.

Another infomercial a while back advertised some kind of natural remedy that was supposed to treat erectile dysfunction. Two different “doctors” attested about the effectiveness of THEIR product. Turns out that both of these doctors turned out to have PhD’s in psychology, but you’d never realize that unless you carefully looked at the commercial. Again I have nothing against PhD’s. My sister has a PhD in microbiology and is one of the smartest people I know.

By the way folks, those NATURAL remedies for erectile dysfunction are worthless. They are based on hocus pocus and not scientific fact. Save your money.

Every time I hear something about a DOCTOR Whats-his-name fly by on TV, my radar perks up. Yours should too.

Necrochorume - Horror Short Movie Teaser Trailer

This is the first teaser trailer for our new film, "Necrochorume". Zombies that arise due to environmental disasters. Watch here. Hope you enjoy!

Based on a true research on an environmental problem recurring in some cemeteries from Brazil, came the "Necrochorume", short film that bears the name of the liquid from the decomposition of bodies, which through the underground water table, began to mix to the water intended for human consumption.

The necrochorume through the water, carries the inactivated virus from the dead to the living healthy body, where they become active. In fiction, we work with the first virus that causes a generalized infection, bringing pain fulminating consequent "death" and subsequent zombification of the infected organism.

The transformation is rapid and short focuses on the point of view of a young redneck that is taken by surprise in a family lunch, which takes his girlfriend to be presented. During the brief narrative, Zeca face the dilemma: hunger versus love.

The key point of the film is to show the danger that bureaucracy and lack of care in the cemeteries can bring to the population, within a narrative fantasy of black humor, in which the consumption of contaminated water turns citizens into zombies, causing a growing epidemic, the interior of Brazil for the rest of the world.

Watch the teaser trailer in portuguese.



CREDITS:
Screenplay and Direction: Geisla Fernandes
Assistant director: Dimitri Kozma
Executive Producer: Geisla Fernandes, Dimitri Kozma
Production: Pamela Jack, Geisla Fernandes, Dimitri Kozma
Photo: Dimitri Kozma and René Lolli Muniz
Art Direction: Elise Miyazaki
Assistance of art: Geisla Fernandes
Makeup Effects: Rubens Mello
Edit: Dimitri Kozma
Composition and Digital Effects: Dimitri Kozma
CGI Animation: Dimitri Kozma
Post-production: Vinicius Bock

Cast:
Patrick MacGuinness, Elise Miyazaki, Pamela Jaque, Alejandro Mangione, Fabiana Ferlin, Rubens Mello, Geisla Fernandes, Dimitri Kozma

Soundtrack: Hitchcocks

Thanks: Vinicius Bock, Tatiane Lion, Fabiana Ferlin, Pamela Jaque, Alejandro Mangione, Olga Birth, Ary Fernandes, "Aunt" Viera.

Production: Orbe Midia Films - www.orbemidia.com

Copyright (c) 2012

Davy Jones is Dead

Davy Jones of the rock-n-roll band, The Monkees is dead at age 66. Oh dear, another one bites the dust. Well if you're close to my age, you'll remember the Monkees. They sold millions of records and you still hear them today.

The Monkees have an interesting past. Did you know that in the beginning they were not allowed to play their instruments on their own recordings? Apparently none of them except for Peter Tork were very good musicians. Also, I was interested to learn that Davy Jones was actually a better drummer than Micky Dolenz, the actual drummer for the band. It was thought that Jones would portray a better image as singer and front man for the group.

All that aside, boys and girls, I grew up with their songs and know many of the lyrics by heart. In those days we were young, full of piss and vinegar, and thought we'd never get old or die. Alas, time is relentless. What a sad day.

What would Tiger Woods become if he went to Navy Seal in stead of Golf?

Tiger Woods at Fort Bragg in 2004

Once Tiger Woods seriously thought of leaving his golf career and becoming a Navy SEAL and it is a fact. Wood's former swing coach Hank Haney writes in his new book “The Big Miss,” which has been excerpted on Golf Digest’s tablet editions and in the April edition of the magazine. That is why woods didn't miss the chance in 2004. He spent three days at Fort Bragg, N.C., observing and participating in training exercises in that year.

Woods’s late father, Earl, served in the Army’s Special Forces in Vietnam and the golfer has always had a high regard for the military. In 2004, he conducted a golf clinic and trained with various units for three days at Fort Bragg, N.C. Haney writes of Woods’s training runs in Army boots and of Woods’s flirtation with joining the SEALs, to the point of participating in vigorous, secret training sessions.

“I thought, ‘Wow. Here is Tiger Woods, the greatest athlete on the planet, maybe the greatest athlete ever, right in the middle of his prime, basically ready to leave it all behind for a military life,’ ” Haney writes. Woods, now 36, told Haney that the SEALs were “ ‘making a special age exemption for me.’ ” “To my knowledge, he did training in parachuting, self-defense, urban-warfare simulations and shooting,” Haney writes. “I never heard of Tiger doing any training in the water with the SEALs, but he was already a pretty accomplished diver.”

Woods told Haney about training as a sharpshooter and in self-defense, adding that the golfer “really wanted to be able to protect his family and his home if anything ever happened.”

Haney writes that he became alarmed about the training. “When I later learned the full truth about the dangerous exercises that Tiger engaged in with the SEALs, it caused me to question whether the greatest golfer the game has ever seen severely hampered his chance at surpassing one of the most revered marks in all of sports — Jack Nicklaus’ record — because of his fascination with the military.”

Woods’s Excel Sports Management agent, Mark Steinberg, called Haney’s claim that the book was about golf “clearly false.” In a statement, he added: “His armchair psychology about Tiger, on matters he admits they didn’t even discuss, is ridiculous. Because of his father, it’s no secret that Tiger has always had high respect for the military, so for Haney to twist that admiration into something negative is disrespectful.”

Just the kind of distraction Woods needs as he prepares to play in the Honda Classic on Thursday in Palm Beach Gardens, Fla. “The disruptive timing of this book shows that Haney’s self-promotion is more important to him than any other person or tournament,” Steinberg said. “What’s been written violates the trust between a coach and player and someone also once considered a friend.”

Tiger Woods and his swing coach Hank Haney

SYRIAN ARMY ASSAULTS REBEL DISTRICT IN HOMS

SYRIAN TROOPS ADVANCE
ON REBEL-HELD AREA OF HOMS

Amman (AP) - Syrian troops launched a ground attack in Homs on Wednesday in an apparent attempt to overrun the rebel-held Baba Amro neighborhood that has endured 25 days of siege and fierce bombardment, opposition sources said. “The army is trying to go in with infantry from the direction of al-Bassel football field and fierce confrontations with automatic rifles and heavy machine guns are taking place there,” activist Mohammad al-Homsi told Reuters from Homs. He said the military had shelled Baba Amro heavily on Tuesday and overnight before the ground attack started. Several Western journalists are trapped in the battered district, although Syrian activists escorted British photographer Paul Conroy to safety in nearby Lebanon on Tuesday in a messy escape in which some of his rescuers were killed.

Reports from Baba Amro could not immediately be verified due to tight government restrictions on media work in Syria, where President Bashar Assad is struggling to repress an almost year-long uprising against his 11-year rule. Activists say hundreds of civilians have been killed in besieged opposition districts of Homs, including at least 20 on Tuesday. Shells and rockets have been crashing into Baba Amro since Feb. 4. Army snipers pick off civilians who venture out. The International Committee of the Red Cross and its local partner, the Syrian Arab Red Crescent, have been pushing for a ceasefire to enable them to extricate wounded civilians and bring in desperately needed supplies of food and medicine. The United Nations says Assad’s security forces have killed more than 7,500 civilians since the revolt began last March. U.N. political chief Lynn Pascoe said Tuesday he has “credible reports” from Syria of more than 100 civilians being killed every day, “including many women and children.”

Syrian troops advanced today on a key rebel-held area in Homs.  Government forces have been heavily shelling this city for more than three weeks with tanks, artillery and rockets. While diplomats continue to seek ways to halt the crisis and get humanitarian aid into the country, Syrian Government’s deadly crackdown on an opposition uprising has already killed well over 7,500 people. Diplomats try to stop the killing, but the struggle for political power prevents find peace.

WHAT DO THE VEDIC TEACHINGS TELL US? 

When we forget this philosophy - that Krishna is the supreme father, Krishna is the supreme proprietor, Krishna is the supreme enjoyer, and Krishna is the supreme friend of everyone -  when we forget this, then we come into this material world and struggle for existence, fight with one another. This is material life.  Nor can we get any relief through our politicians, diplomats, philosophers. They have tried so much, but actually nothing they have tried has become fruitful. Take the United Nations. It was organized after the second Great War, and they wanted, “We shall now settle everything peacefully.”  But there is no such thing.  The fighting is going on, between Pakistan and India or between Vietnam and America or this and that. Mundane politics and diplomacy and philosophy - this is not the process.  The process is Krishna consciousness.

Śrīla A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupāda :
“The Journey of Self-Discovery”
“Superconsciousness” -  Bhaktivedanta VedaBase

No Concealing My Opinion

Aren't I a hoot?  Anyhoo...Let's be honest, I have deep set eyes and olive skin, so dark under-eye circles are a HUGE issue for me. So much so that I put on concealer both before AND after my foundation.Because of this, I've been on the hunt for the perfect one for a while now, and have a few opinions to share with you. The Contenders:Benefit's "BOI-ING", MAC's "Studio Sculpt", Smashbox's "Camera

Big Budgets: Round and Round the Hamster Wheel

Like most people, I have an Internet browsing routine.  First, I get drunk off Bartles & Jaymes wine coolers, which I acquired a taste for in middle school.  (Wine coolers were invented to hook children and were the alcoholic energy drinks of the 1980s.)  Then, I fire up my web-enabled Apple Newton, at which point I desperately seek out folding bike porn until I pass out on the fire escape.

By the way, nobody does hardcore folding bike porn like the Dutch.

Anyway, last night I was on something like my ninth pomegranate raspberry when I discovered that the publication formerly known as VeloNews was looking for a managing editor:

This surprised me, since last I heard everybody was leaving and the staff had been reduced to basically this:



That wheel spins up nice.  I bet the bearings are ceramic.

In any case, I swore off working when I became a bike blogger, and in the ensuing years I've degraded into something that is not only completely unemployable but is also perennially unshaven and exudes a strange aroma during certain hours of the day.  Even a bedraggled outfit like VeloNews would surely never hire me, since I look and act like something that might transmit lice to the other hamsters.  However, by this point Old Man Bartles and Old Man Jaymes were at the helm (just as they were in high school when I applied to SUNY) and once I saw how easy the qualifications were I figured I'd try to land myself a job:

In addition, the ideal candidate is intimately familiar with acronyms/abbreviations such as UCI, USAC, ASO, WADA, NCCA, IMBA, HRM, LBS, TT, KPH, OTB, JRA and, of course, DFL.


That's easy, here goes:

UCI: United Cheese Institute
USAC: United Society for the Appreciation of Cheese
ASO: American Society Organization
WADA: Washing A Dirty Arse (British Internet slang)
NCCA: National Cheese Cheese Association
IMBA: IMBA!?!  Damn Near Killed Her!!!
HRM: Her Royal Majesty
LBS: [Abbreviation for pounds]
TT: Tea Time
KPH: Koala Pals Humping (Australian Internet slang)
OTB: Off Track Betting
JRA: Jewish Riflery Association (the world's smallest shooting club)
DFL: Dorky Fred Loser

Obviously I got through that one all right, but the next one was tricky:

The ideal candidate will be able to spell names like Frischknecht, Maaskant and Vinokourov from memory.

Fortunately, not only can I spell those names from memory, but I can also type them with my eyes closed:

Frisheyndeicht
Maskcant
Vinoculator

Emboldened by success, I was on to the next hurdle:

The ideal candidate can list off every winner of the last 20 Tours de France.

Now, I may have been drunk, but not so drunk that I wasn't able to spot a trick question a flamme rouge away.  As any pro cycling pundit worth his suitcase of bad metaphors knows, due to the decades of doping scandals, subsequent disqualifications, unsuccessful appeals to the CAS (that's the Cheese Appeal Society), and so forth, the winner of every Tour de France for the last 60 years is now officially Walter Diggelmann:

When Diggelmann finished 50th in the 1952 Tour de France, he surely wouldn't have dreamed that he'd one day be elevated to the status of winningest rider in Tour de France history--winninger even than Lance Armstrong, Miguel Indurain, Bernard Hinault, and unfrozen caveman bike racer Eddy Merckx, shown here in the famous Molteni orange:

("Back in the day," Merckx cut a striking figure atop the podium.)

Anyway, having nailed the last qualification, the next one was laughably easy:

The ideal candidate is able to fix a flat tire in under 10 minutes, using only tire levers and a mini-pump.

Puh-leeze.  I can do that, and so could Walter Diggelman:

As for the final qualification, in my case that was merely a formality:

One last thing — a sense of humor always helps.

Oh yeah, I have one of those.  Here's a knock-knock joke I just made up:

--Knock knock.

--Who's there?

--Walter?

--Walter who?

--Walter Diggelman.

I only hope they'll pay my relocation expenses to Boulder, where I plan to move to "The Peleton," which became my dream home ever since I first learned about it:

Looks like the developers at "The Peleton" could have used a better managing editor.

Speaking of cycling publications, I was reading Bicycling magazine's "Buyer's Guide" in the bathroom recently when I noticed some interesting items.  First, there was the "Cane Creek Angleset Headset:"

About which the magazine had this to say:


"Properly installed, it performs flawlessly, with only occasional creaks."

The only time it's acceptable to say something performs flawlessly with only occasional creaks is when you're referring to the sexual prowess of Mario Cipollini:

("Properly installed, the Cipollini performs flawlessly, with only occasional creaks.")

It's not his fault if the bed frame is a little creaky--though the excess hair oil usually quiets things down after a few minutes.

Next, I noticed the "Industry 9 I25 Wheelset:"

Which is apparently not a race wheel:

"Add in the feathery weight, and these look an awful lot like race wheels.  And they could be, but they also have a 23.5mm rim, setting the tire beads farther apart and creating a larger-than-normal tire volume.  The result allows lower pressures for better damping of road vibration from an otherwise stiff, race-worthy wheel."

If an $1,000 pair of wheels with a total of like eight spokes is not a race wheelset, then what is a race wheelset now?  So I went over to Competitive Cyclist, where I learned that if you want race wheels in 2012 you have to get something like this:

These seem expensive at $3,600, but it won't be long before you want to upgrade to these:

Sure, $6,000 for a set of wheels may seem completely insane, but that's only because it is.  So is $1,750 for that matter, but apparently that's merely a "budget" race wheel now:

Privateer gear. This is something we discuss at length in mountain biking, but don't address enough on the road. Most of us sponsor ourselves. We need components that are practical; we need parts that are light, strong, and fast and that can do it all on a budget. This intersection on the component matrix is filled admirably by Reynolds with their Assault Carbon Clincher Wheelset.

Most of us do sponsor ourselves, and if this is the current state of affairs in cycling equipment then our sponsors really need to come to our senses and drop us immediately.  Plus, all of these crabon wheels will be obsolete even before they reach the end of their incredibly short service life, since the poor crabon rim braking performance is already forcing the move to disc brakes.  And, worst of all, due to the low spoke count you probably can't even use spoke cards:





I thought the spoke card had gone the way of the top tube pad (and the dinosaur for that matter), but at least one entrepreneur is using that to reduce the great cities of America (as well as Washington, DC and Chicago) to hunting grounds for hipster kitsch:

For the initial run, there will be five spokecards for each city. Each spokecard will have a theme, and guide you to four places around that theme that you can bike to. For example: The four best photobooths in Chicago, four under-appreciated monuments in Washington, DC, or four places to play Buck Hunter in Brooklyn, New York. In addition to that, if you go online, I'll have bike routes and additional tips for bike adventures on explorosaur.us!


Visiting Brooklyn to just to play Buck Hunter is like visiting Mario Cipollini for the conversation.

Act of Valor

Last night sweet Wifey and I went to see Act of Valor. This is a movie inspired by true events of the United States Navy SEALs. The actors are real SEALs and the stunts and action are performed by SEALs.

I won't spoil it by talking about the plots, but if you love America and the military; if you like ships, submarines, airplanes, helicopters, and all kinds of neat weapons; and if you hate terrorist thugs then this is a movie you won't want to miss.

This movie speaks to the threats our country faces and it attests to the dedication and heroism of our special forces units. At the end of the movie we all sat silently as the credit roll gave the names of all the SEALs that had made the ultimate sacrifice since 9-11.

Sweet Wifey liked it too. Go see it.

Watcher’s Council Nominations – Special Apology Edition

Welcome to the Watcher’s Council, a blogging group consisting of some of the most incisive blogs in the ‘sphere, and the longest running group of its kind in existence. Every week, the members nominate two posts each, one written by themselves and one written by someone from outside the group for consideration by the whole Council.Then we vote on the best two posts, with the results appearing on Friday.
Council News:
This week, Liberty’s Spirit, The Grouch, Crazy Bald Guy, Right Truth, Ask Marion and Capitalist Preservation took advantage of my generous offer of link whorage and earned honorable mention status.
You can, too! Want to see your work appear on the Watcher’s Council homepage in our weekly contest listing? Didn’t get nominated by a Council member? No worries.
Simply head over to Joshuapundit and post the title a link to the piece you want considered along with an e-mail address ( which won’t be published) in the comments section no later than Monday 6PM PST in order to be considered for our honorable mention category, and return the favor by creating a post on your site linking to the Watcher’s Council contest for the week.
It’s a great way of exposing your best work to Watcher’s Council readers and Council members. while grabbing the increased traffic and notoriety. And how good is that, eh?
So, let’s see what we have this week….

Council Submissions

• The Political Commentator – NYPD spying operation…What exactly is all the ruckus about?
• Joshuapundit-Israel And Iran – Dancing With Armageddon
• The Noisy Room – Define Gradual Adjustment
• The Colossus of Rhodey – Biggest “suspension of disbelief” moments in sci-fi entertainment
• The Independent Sentinel – The UN Threat to Internet Freedom – Another Devastating Treaty Ignored By Obama
• Rhymes With Right – Santorum Partly Right, Partly Wrong On JFK Speech On Religious Liberty
• Simply Jews – Caudillo Chaves and his tame media
• GrEaT sAtAn”S gIrLfRiEnD – All Apologies
• The Razor – Mission Accomplished: Rising Gas Prices Are Exactly What Obama Wants
• Gay Patriot – Of prejudice and projection
• VA Right! - Obama’s ‘Metro-sexual’ Apology Seen as Weakness to Radical Islamists
• The Glittering Eye -I’d Have Been Wrong
• Bookworm Room – Licking my wounds and dreaming of other, simpler, times
• The Mellow Jihadi – No More Weapons!
• The Right Planet – The Conscientious Objector

Honorable Mentions

• Right Truth – The “It’s All America’s Fault” meme
• Crazy Bald Guy – The Case For Mitt Romney
• Liberty’s Spirit – Anti-Semitism Among New Jersey Democrats
• The Grouch – Joe Biden Elects Himself President in 2013
• Ask Marion – Columbine Father 12 Years Later…In the Wake of Another Tragedy
• Capitalist Preservation – Operation Fast and Furious: Move along. Nothing to see here.

Non-Council Submissions

• Stonegate Institute/Alan Dershowitz -Friends Seminary Plays Bait and Switch on Anti-Semitismsubmitted by The Political Commentator
• Alisina.Org – Setting Muslims Free submitted by Joshuapundit
• NRO/Andrew McCarthy –
  Why Apologize to Afghanistan? submitted by The Noisy Room
• The First Street Journal – 2003 + 25 = 2012? submitted by The Colossus of Rhodey
• American Thinker – Why Won’t Barack Obama cut ties to a group promoting anti-Semitism submitted by The The Independent Sentinel
• Francis Cardinal George, O.M.I./The Catholic New World – What Are You Giving Up For Lent? submitted by Rhymes with Right
• Monkey In The Middle – They Are Going To Kill Obama! submitted by Simply Jews
• Friends Of Syria – US-NATO behind the Killings of Civilians in Syri submitted by GrEaT sAtAn”S gIrLfRiEnD
• The Other End Of The Leash –Do Dogs Form Real Friendships? submitted by The Razor
• Powerline -An Open letter To The Obama Campaign submitted by Gay Patriot
• About Face – Ms. Trotta – Did You Really Have to Go There? submitted by VA Right!
• Zenpundit/J. Scott Shipman – America in Arms, John McAuley Palmer, a review submitted by The Glittering Eye
• Raymond Ibrahim/Stonegate Institute -Obama “Son Of Islam?” submitted by Bookworm Room
• Right Wing News –The Problem With Electric Cars Part #786: Bricking submitted by The Mellow Jihadi
• Accuracy In Media – The Russians and American Progressives: Together Again submitted by The Right Planet
• Victor Davis Hanson – So Why Read Anymore? submitted by The Watcher
• The Blogmocracy – Gibson Guitars, Six Months Later submitted by The Watcher

Enjoy! And don’t forget to follow us on Facebook and Twitter..’cause we’re cool like that!

Ali Zafar’s New Bollywood Flick Gets an ‘Adult’ Rating

Ali Zafar’s new Bollywood film London, Paris, NewYork is already receiving a buzz. People are excited and anxiously waiting to watch it. But now the movie has received an ‘Adult’ or ‘A’ certificate from the censor board due to some steamy scenes between Ali Zafar and his co-star Aditi Rao. For such scenes, the film had come under criticism when its trailers were released online and on

Clueless Pairings

Am I slow? Does anyone else not get/enjoy closet couture?Back in 1995 when I first saw "Clueless" I was completely enamored with her computer based closet program. Still am actually. You'd think with all the crazy technological advances that have been made this past decade someone would have cashed in? Either way, I'm still on the hunt! If anyone has a recommendation, I'll take it.Also, whatever

Jennifer Lopez fits the gown at Oscar or the gown fits the singer and actress and judge

Jennifer Lopez and Cameron Diaz on announcement

Jennifer Lopez's nipple stunned the show at the 84th Annual Academy Awards while presenting with Cameron Diaz, 39 -- or did it? Wearing a cleavage-baring Zuhair Murad gown, many wondered if the American Idol judge, 42, had an accidental nip-slip while co-presenting the Oscars for Best Costume Design and Best Makeup. Lopez and Cameron Diaz showing off their (clothed) backsides while presenting at the Oscars on Feb 26, but to hear the Internet tell it, Lopez also showed us a bit more than that.

The actress/singer/"Idol" judge looked stunning in a form-fitting Zuhair Murad gown with a cleavage-baring neckline. But some have said that at one point, it looked like one of her cups was running over, giving viewers at home a glimpse of a nip slip. And yet, according to Lopez's stylist Mariel Haenn, those who saw it must've been imagining things.

Haenn's tweeted that the 42-year-old's gown was custom-made to avoid slippage or spillage of any kind. "The dress fit perfectly to her every inch. There were cups built in ...and in NO chance that there were any, how do you say?... 'slips,'" Haenn wrote.

Lopez's stylist Mariel Haenn denied Lopez gave an inadvertent peep show during the telecast, tweeting: "The dress fit perfectly to her every inch. There were cups built in and there's no chance that there were any, how do you say? 'slips.'" Added Haenn: "While the dress did give the illusion of sheer-ness, joke's on everyone who wishes they saw something! If you thought that dress was hot wait until you see what's next."

Overwrought: Hang It On the Wall and Call It Art

Last night, I made art:

(Art.)

I don't like to use the word "genius" lightly.  For that matter, I also don't like to use the word "scranus" lightly.  So when I say that the above photograph is a work of scranus-tingling genius then you know I'm being serious.  Then again, I shouldn't even have to tell you how serious I am, because when you look at a work of Art-With-A-Capital-A like this you just know.  It's the same feeling you get when you gaze into the Mona Lisa's preternaturally knowing nostrils, or stare at the Milkmaid's jug (that's jug, not jugs), or contemplate the floppy little penis of Adam on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel.

It may surprise you to learn that I know so much about art, but the fact is that I do.  I know that truly great art can lay bare the very workings of the Universe.  I know that some of the greatest art in the history of humankind has been rendered in the age-old medium of macaroni.  And I know that a genuine masterpiece is equal parts mastery and serendipity, with just a sprinkling of paprika for flavor.

Take my masterpiece, which "Photo Slut" magazine has already said is "like having sex with God on a hot bed of sauerkraut."  Sure, to some extend it's the product of a lifetime of training: the elite boarding schools; the nine years as an undergraduate at Bard; and then the successive MFA programs in 1970s billboard art, limerick poetry, and modern phrenology.  After that came the tough years of paying my dues as an aspiring artist in Brooklyn, quaffing artisanal cocktails and living in a $3,500-a-month apartment in a building still redolent with the cooking smells of the ethnic families my peers and I had only recently displaced.

To be honest, there were moments when I had doubts, like Jesus on the cross when he came this close [indicates small distance with fingers] to giving up the whole martyrdom thing and getting back into carpentry.  Sometimes at the bar, when I was feeling the financial pinch and had to pass on that sixth $21 dark chocolate-infused malt liquor-and-single-barrel rum mojito, I'd catch myself thinking, "Maybe I should just take that limerick-writing gig at Hallmark."  But then, on just such a night, as I teetered once again on the edge of selling out, I spotted a Knog light submerged in a glass of water, withdrew my $5,000 camera from my $500 bag, and produced what will undoubtedly be one of the most enduring images in photographic history.

But as inspiring as my story is, it's hardly unique.  In fact, the same self-affirming moment of artistic catharsis happens somewhere in Brooklyn every night, and this means only one thing: all these hipster assholes are here to stay.

Anyway, as I thought about art I thought about longing, and about how the two are intertwined.  Then I went to Craigslist, where I saw this Ross Apollo:

There was once a time when I longed for a Ross Apollo.  I coveted its split top tube, and its lofty sissy bar, and its noble ape hanger handlebars.  However, I never got one, and while I'm not sure why it's probably because my father rightly recognized that the bike was completely stupid and thus refused to buy one for me.  Now, though, I'm a member of the 1% (not in the #Occupy sense, but in the "Skim Milk Appreciation Society" sense), and the $250 it would cost me to own a Ross Apollo is a mere pittance when you consider I spend about that on a single night of spirited artisanal cocktail quaffing:

But this is where the cruelty of longing reveals itself.  Sure, I could own a Ross Apollo now (and an "orking" one at that, which is nice because all too often the orking feature on a 40 year-old bicycle is broken), but the truth is I don't want one any more.  Yet, while I no longer long for a Ross Apollo, I still have that same longing for other things that lie just beyond my reach, like waterbeds filled with champagne, heated dimmer switches, and solid gold remote control bidets.  Furthermore, I may obtain some of these things, or I may not, but either way at some point they'll wind up just like that Ross Apollo--something I once wanted with every cell in my body but which now means nothing to me.  Yes, material gratification is fleeting, and the only constant is the rosebud of longing, that gnawing sense of discomfort and non-fulfillment that torments us all until we die.

Speaking of longing, the North American Handmade Blah-Blah-Blah is almost here, and bike dorks from all over will converge in Sacramento, where they will slobber all over custom replacement horses while longing themselves right out of their shants.  Many of these bicycles will be steel (increasingly stainless steel, probably because of all the drooling) but for sheer ferric abundance it's tough to beat a Ross Eurotour:

The only aluminum parts on the Eurotour are the shifters, the brake levers and the brake calipers. Everything else, except for a few plastic parts is steel. The weight before accessories is 39 lbs.

Now that's what I call a North American steel bicycle.  By the way, he didn't specifically exclude the tires, so I'm going to go ahead and assume they're steel too.  As I read this, I fantasized about dropping a 40lb Ross Eurotour from a helicopter and onto the Sacramento Convention Center, where it would crash through the roof like a set of janitor's keys through a piece of wet tissue paper.  Then, Don Walker would have to rent one of those scrap metal magnets just to get it out again.

Also, I was interested to learn that, "back in the day," Ross bikes were manufactured right in my backyard:

The company moved its manufacturing plant to the old Arverne Hygeia Ice plant in Rockaway Beach, Queens, New York in the 1950s.

Though by the time I was longing for an Apollo they had probably moved to Allentown--not that I cared where they were made, for as far as I knew the lovely Apollo bicycle was dropped from a helicopter straight from heaven.  Lastly, I had no idea Ross even dabbled in high-end race bikes like two or three bike booms ago:

This was also the year the pricey high-end Signature series, which featured Cro-Mo tubing and Campagnolo or Shimano 600 components, was launched with Tom Kellogg in charge of the division.

Meh.  Sounds pretty wimpy.  As far as I'm concerned, if it doesn't sink hub deep into moist soil then it's not a true Ross.

Speaking of Sacramento, a reader has forwarded me this article about the inventor of the "Bike Valet:"

How come nobody calls cars a "clunky burden when it comes to putting them away?"  People build entire houses for their cars, yet apparently a simple bicycle remains the greatest storage challenge of the 21st century.  In any case, one man has risen to that challenge, and this article contains the inspiring story of how he came up with the idea for a decorative bike hook:

Tiller, a carpenter and furniture maker who kept bumping into his bike in his cramped apartment, went to sleep one evening mulling over the problem and awoke in the middle of the night with a solution – one that's getting buzz on design websites and bike blogs throughout the U.S. and beyond.

I don't need to tell you the rest--after waking up and falling over his bike yet again, he simply hung it from his "night boner" while he went to the kitchen for a glass of water, and the rest is cycling history.  It's a story as famous as Tullio Campagnolo inventing the quick release wheel skewer, or Mario Cipollini inventing breakaway thong underpants.

Speaking of entrepreneurs, a reader in Cape Town, South Africa sent me the following photo, which proves Portland isn't the only place brimming with bicycle businesses (even if they are car-themed):

Plus, while you're waiting for your car to get fixed, you can always enjoy some fat cock:

As the reader explains, it's probably a phonetic transcription of a food called "vet koek" in Afrikaans, but a cock by any other name would be as fat:

I wonder if it could "portage" a Ross Eurotour.

HOW A THIEF ALMOST BECAME NIGERIA’S PRESIDENT

NIGERIAN EX-GOVERNOR PLEADS GUILTY
IN U.K. TO MONEY LAUNDERING AND FRAUD

Africa (latimes.com) - The former governor of Nigeria’s oil-rich Delta state, James Ibori, accused of stealing $250 million from state coffers, pleaded guilty to money laundering and fraud in a British court Monday. Ibori, formerly one of the ruling People’s Democratic Party’s most influential figures, was arrested in Dubai, United Arab Emirates, in 2010 and extradited to London, where he had six luxury houses. At the time of his arrest, Ibori was negotiating to buy himself a private jet.  Ibori’s case tells the story of a country rich in oil but characterized by Transparency International as one of the most corrupt, where billions of dollars in state funds has been stolen by government officials over many years and salted away in overseas bank accounts or spent on lavish lifestyles. British authorities, who had investigated the case for seven years, announced Monday that Ibori’s assets would be seized and returned to the people of Delta state.

Before he worked his way up through the Nigerian ruling party to become one of the country’s influential politicians, Ibori was a petty thief in Britain. He had worked in a DIY store in Ruislip in the 1990s. He was convicted in 1991 of stealing from the shop and a year later was convicted of using a stolen credit card to steal around $1,600. “Ibori “tricked” his way into office by changing his birth date and pretending he had no criminal record,” said authorities. His record would have barred him from standing for office, had it been known. He was never the legitimate governor and there was effectively a thief in government house. As the pretender of that public office, he was able to plunder Delta state’s wealth and hand out patronage. Ibori enjoyed immunity from prosecution while in office. His salary as governor was $25,000 a year. Ibori’s wife, sister, mistress and London lawyer had all been previously convicted of money laundering.

The story of how James Ibori went from convicted thief in London in the 1990s, to become governor of a wealthy oil-producing Nigerian state and then to a British prison is a remarkable one. It is the story of a wily political operator, backing the right political horses and shifting allegiances when expedient. Given slightly different circumstances it could have seen Ibori in the presidential villa rather than a British jail cell.  This is another example of a conditioned soul's defect: vipralipsa ('the desire to deceive').

WHAT DO THE VEDIC TEACHINGS TELL US? 

Prabhupada: Everything is cheating because so long you are a conditioned soul, out of four defects, one of the defects is cheating propensity, karana patava, er, vipralipsa.(?) That is a qualification. And in this material world, the more you are expert cheater, you are considered very able man. All over the world, so many expert cheaters are going on.
Devotee: Are these people consciously cheating or raised in cheating so that they don’t know the difference?
Prabhupada: That is another thing, but they are cheating. That is a fact. How we have learnt it, that is another thing. But you are cheating. That’s fact. ... I have got tendency to cheat, so people unnecessarily poses himself as very big man even by ideas that you will consider him very great man, although I am nothing. So many gurus, they are doing that.

Śrīla A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupāda :
Room Conversation with Ratan Singh Rajda M.P.
“Nationalism and Cheating” - April 15, 1977, Bombay
770415rc.bom - Bhaktivedanta Book Trust International