Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
Again with the busyness in business… but I’m back & ready to say whattup? Let’s see… personal life… this weekend, I may be going to a “reclaimed art” (aka modern trash) show at a place called King Kong Bar downtown. Why? There will be people playing the ukulele while… and it’s at a bar, so even if it’s lame, there’s plenty to do down there. So yeah, that should be fun. Then on Sunday is the Day at the Races with the roommates & their friends. It should be a smashing good time. I think that I mentioned this before but Sundays are Dollar Days at Golden Gate Fields where they have the horse races, so you can place bets, beers, hot dogs, pretzels, etc. all for a buck a piece. $20 will make you feel like a king… and a C-note would make you feel like a super-king.
C-Real will be coming to town next week. Still not 100% on what we’re going to do… but one thing’s for sure… we’re gonna do it RAW!!! Haha… okay, so I’m sure we’ll have a good time. Haven’t really decided on just checking out the City… or stopping over in Wine Country… or down to Monterey for a day or two. Who knows? So many options out here & so little time to do it all in. Also, Bubbles & I got tickets to the Gotye concert (she had me listen to a few tracks & the Kiwi has skills) so that’ll be in a few weeks. Let’s see… charity work in three weeks (voluntary, not court ordered), family is doing good, been playing “Batman: Arkham City” and it’s pretty cool. That’s really about it…
I was watching “The Soup” with the roommates when I stumbled upon a gem called
VH1 Couples Therapy. Wait, a reality TV show on VH1? How is this POSSIBLY a gem? Well, it’s celebrity couples having relationship / marriage therapy… which I will absolutely admit is both sad & completely uninteresting to me in every way. However… did I mention that one of the couples is DMX and his wifey? Because that sh*t is VERY important… and why I must absolutely watch this show… because Earl Simmons is not only my dawg… but he’s absolutely outside of his f**king mind… and now… outside of his f**king comfort zone. Allow me to share with you a few quotes from the show… and remember, DMX is using his voice… and it’s the same gravely real voice, all day… every day… with volumes varying from loud to “F’real, I’m right here!”
Interviewer: “Do you know why you’re here?”
DMX: “Because of my d**k!” (the answer was immediate & the tone was as if he said pass the
sugar)
DMX: “I love p**sy! I LOVE P**SY!!! Love it.” I agree
I can’t do a word for word representation of this next one because I was so shocked & laughing so hard… but basically it broke down to this…
DMX: “The reason that I cheat on her all the time is… I love her… but you don’t want eggs for breakfast every day. I love breakfast… and I love eggs… but sometimes… I want some cereal. You can have eggs again & again & again until eventually you just say f**k it, I’m gonna have me some Lucky Charms.” That’s a metaphor in which he compared the love of his life… to boring ass eggs on his breakfast plate. The best part though… was the therapist’s next question.
Therapist: “If I could… wave a magic wand… and you couldn’t f**k other girls anymore… would you want to?” First off, when can a license therapist drop the F-bomb? When she’s talking to
D-M-X!!!
DMX: “(awkward moment of reflection as he carefully considers how to respond) If you could… wave a magic wand, that’d be cool and all but… I don’t think that’d ever happen.” By this time, his wifey is in tears, trying to be strong… but sh*t is ridiculous… and I haven’t even told you about when they introduced the homosexual couple from “A-List” to the house. Five words: “I have a gay uncle.” So bad… yet so good. Also, before you judge Earl Simmons aka DMX, please realize that he has been through a LOT of sh*t in his life (REAL Behind the Music stuff) but yeah… he has issues like a subscription.
Last week, I watched the latest Martin Scorsese flick “
Hugo” starring Sir Ben Kingsley, Sacha Baron Cohen, Christopher Lee, Emily Mortimer, Jude Law and others… but the stars are basically two kids (the boy from “Nancy McPhee Returns” & the foul-mouthed pre-teen girl from “Kick Ass” oddly enough). Set in 1930’s Paris, an orphan boy lives in the walls of a train station… and with the help of a new friend, they set out on an adventure involving the boy’s father’s past work… and an automaton (old school robot). Now, I know that doesn’t sound particularly awesome by any means… but it’s great for the kid in everyone to set out on a magical journey of self-discovery & wonder… and it’s not your usual Martin Scorsese flick due to the lack of mobsters & vulgarity… but a masterfully done movie which I highly recommend that you check out.
A few days ago, I watched “
Moneyball” starring Brad Pitt & Jonah Hill. This is based on the true story of former Oakland A’s general manager Billy Beane (Pitt) who was frustrated with the way that professional baseball is set up… primarily where the big market teams (New York, Boston, LA, etc) had such a distinct advantage in signing free agent talent against the smaller market teams. For those who don’t know, baseball doesn’t have the salary cap like other sports do which levels the playing field a bit (unless you decide you’d rather live in Miami with your rich friends instead of Cleveland with your poor friends, for a random example). Anyway, he basically stumbled upon a theory of another team’s assistant scout (Hill) who doesn’t look at the usual perspective of scouts like who they swing, confidence, bravado, etc… but rather production on the field with respect to their salary or market value. Apparently this was never used before… which kind of baffles me… but whatever, it’s like Fantasy Baseball but in real life. The road wasn’t easy though… as every trade that looked good with this theory, looked a little ridiculous to the average spectator or conventional manager or owner… but spoiler alert, it changed the game. For the better? Well, you be the judge on that one… but I highly recommend the movie.
Side note: I want to reiterate that this movie was based on a true story… and the guy it was based on is still alive (seeing as it took place less than a decade ago). How f**king flattered would you be… to have Brad Pitt portray you in a big time Hollywood movie? Seriously? Now, I’m sure that Billy Beane gets his share of the ladies anyway based on his own Game… but when you can add to the repertoire that Brad Pitt is a close personal friend of yours… because he wanted to play you in an Academy Award nominated film based on your life… that’s not a bad arrow to have in your quiver. Which leads me to my next series of questions.