A strange face on display. Looks like a mask, a sleeping man or what is it?
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Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Bikes: There Goes the Neighborhood
Futher to yesterday's post, a number of readers pointed out that I may have incorrectly identified the nationway of the Mankini Castaway's flag:
To wit:
Anonymous said...
Rookie error by BikeSnob NYC there, confusing the Aussie Flag with what is actually the New Zealand flag...its a New Zealand flag, ergo, the guy on the roof was a sheep rooter/defiler....
our Kiwi cousins often pretend to be Aussies because they are so ashamed of their minnow status in everything...
July 30, 2012 9:48 PM
I'm not even sure it's possible to positively identify the flag given the extremely poor quality of the picture, which I took with professional quality photo equipment from the cockpit of a helicopter, and not with a Cheetos dust-smudged smartphone from my couch. In fact, I'm not even sure it's possible to positively identify that flag if you're standing right in front of it, since the Australian flag looks like this:
And the New Zealand flag looks like this:
Or maybe the Australian flag looks like this:
Honestly I have no idea. All I know is that if these two so-called "countries" want people to be able to tell them apart they should at least have different flags. It can also be difficult to differentiate Canadians from actual Americans, but you can't say our flags aren't distinctive. Here's Canada's:
And here's America's:
Betsy Ross sewed the first American flag back in 1492 (that's "sewed" in the American sense, meaning that she drew it on paper and then had it made in China), and you can see why we don't stitch that onto our backpacks like the Canadians do. Instead, we just stitch Canadian flags on there so people will be nice to us and not take us hostage.
(By the way, if you ever want to be sure the person you're dealing with is an actual Canadian, just ask him or her to name the US Secretary of State. If he answers correctly, then he's a Canadian.)
Meanwhile, here in Brooklyn, bike thefts in Williamsburg have apparently quadrupled:
I'm no criminalologist, but there are three (17) likely explanations for this:
1) More people are cycling in Williamsburg;
2) Criminals have realized that more people are cycling in Williamsburg and have decided to start taking their bicycles from them;
5) Given the constant influx of transplants from other parts of the United States, the typical Williamsburger is now roughly four times more likely to be utterly clueless, which makes taking bikes from them extremely easy;
D) A fine dessert cheese can complement any meal.
I told you I wasn't a criminalologist.
So what can you do to protect your bike? Well, obviously you should put a lock on it, and it also helps if your city bike is an easily replaceable piece of crap and not a $5,000 rolling artisanal handjob:
Hey, it's a very nice bike, but this is Brooklyn and not Portland. Sure, it's almost impossible to tell the two places apart now, but the resemblance is still largely superficial.
Also, according to a bike messenger quoted in the above article, you should also personalize your bike and have lots of friends:
Ciminera, 29, said she didn't go to the police when her bike was stolen months ago, but that other members of the bike messenger community spotted it 15 minutes after she sent a mass text message to make people watch out for the personalized two-wheeler, whose stickers and decorations made it recognizable.
"They went on a high-speed chase and got it back," recalled Ciminera. "It's good to personalize your bike, not just to ride around a factory Schwinn."
I drive more people away from me every year so the friend thing is not an option, but the personalization tip is a particularly good one, so I took her advice by putting distinctive $2,000 crabon racing wheels on my Scattante and then hanging a bunch of $600 electronic rear derailleurs from the top tube. Sure, all that cost me more than a Beloved, but if the bike gets stolen while I'm in a bar getting drunk with a bunch of Portland transplants it will be instantly recognizable.
Ironically though, while everyone seems to want to steal bikes in Brooklyn, nobody in Brooklyn seems to want bikes around. Consider the $40 million velodrome a wealthy benefactor wants to gift to the city, and which the neighborhood residents don't want:
So what could possibly be so bad about putting a velodrome on the Brooklyn waterfront? Well, here's the mind-bendingly paradoxical reasoning behind the opposition:
Leaders of the major community groups in the neighborhoods abutting the park, including Brooklyn Heights and Dumbo, have questions about the track. They say they worry about the building’s size (with a footprint of up to 70,000 square feet, it is larger than a football field) and the traffic it might draw to the cobbled streets of Brooklyn Heights, while pointing out the relatively obscure nature of track cycling, in which riders on fixed-gear bicycles without brakes travel at terrific speeds around curves banked at 45-degree angles.
In other words, they say that arena will draw too much traffic, yet at the same time track cycling is "obscure," which means nobody is going to come see it. I suppose the project is also too big yet too small, and too cheap yet too expensive, and too crazy yet too sane, and up is down, and 2+2+5.
On top of all this, I wonder if it ever occurred to any of the brilliant amateur urban planners who comprise these "community groups" that a lot of these bike racing fans might actually ride their fucking bikes to the velodrome, and that you could fit about a hundred bikes in the space two of these "community group" members take up with their cars.
I was also intrigued by the article's description of track racing:
Is it even necessary to explain the concept of bikes racing around an indoor track? I remember when journalists used to explain the fixed-gear trend by saying they're like the bikes track racers use. Now they explain track racing by saying they're like the bikes fixed-gear riders use. It makes track racing sound like some kind of newfangled indoor alleycat, and as though track racing followed the fixed-gear trend and not the other way around.
But the most convincing anti-velodrome argument was this completely irrelevant zebra metaphor:
“You can paint stripes on a horse, but that doesn’t make it a zebra,” said Peter Flemming, co-chairman of the independent Brooklyn Bridge Park Community Council and a resident of Brooklyn Heights. “Nor can calling this a ‘field house’ make it anything other than an Olympic-class track-cyling velodrome.”
You can call a velodrome cockblocker the co-chairman of the independent Brooklyn Bridge Park Community Council, but that doesn't make him not a velodrome cockblocker.
Oh, also, someone named Candace is afraid velodrome-bound cars could "overwhelm the neighborhood:"
Candace Lombardi, a Brooklyn Heights resident of 17 years, said she worried that the cars that would most likely descend on the velodrome could overwhelm the neighborhood. (There is no parking in the plan.) “This is a little 19th-century street with cobblestones,” she said, pointing to the foot of Joralemon Street, which is near the proposed site. “I’m just thinking about all the spectators and the traffic this will bring.”
Between this and the complaints about bike share stations, people in Brooklyn Heights must have the most bloated sense of entitlement on this side of the Willamette. Brooklyn Heights is right on the Brooklyn-Queens Expressway, at the foot of the Brooklyn Bridge, and adjacent to downtown Brooklyn, which is full of courthouses and municipal buildings and colleges and office buildings--yet somehow the velodrome is going to be the thing that "overwhelms the neighborhood." I'd suggest to Candace Lombardi that if she's looking for tranquility she made a bad choice by moving to Brooklyn Heights, and if she wants a peaceful upscale enclave dripping with charm and cachet and within reasonable commuting distance to Manhattan she may want to look into a picturesque little neighborhood called Connecticut.
As for the pro-velodrome people, they've found themselves a handy scapegoat in the form of beach volleyball players:
As for critics who have dismissed track cycling as elitist, obscure or simply weird, Mr. Reiners countered that Brooklyn Bridge Park recently opened three regulation-size sand volleyball courts on Pier 6. “If that’s the criteria for building facilities in this park, that it has to be very well known and popular, then that seems like a facetious argument,” he said. “Beach volleyball is fairly obscure itself.”
Actually, the solution is obvious, and I think the perfect compromise would be to use the space not as a velodrome but as an indoor cyclocross park where the riders compete in bikinis. This should please everybody. Plus, everybody knows cyclocross is the new track racing anyway. Buying an expensive track bike, saying you're going to take it to the velodrome, and never actually doing it is so five years ago. Now it's all about buying an expensive cyclocross bike, saying you're going to race cyclocross, never actually doing it, but justifying the bike by riding it on a short gravel path every once in awhile and taking lots of photos of it.
As for the people who actually do race track bikes, the "simply weird" criticism isn't entirely unwarranted. Consider this article which was forwarded to me by a reader:
-1.jpg)
Are you wondering what the Olympic athletes are doing to pass the time before they compete in competitions they've trained their entire lives for?
If you're part of the German men's cycling team, then you pass the time by pulling down your pants and having a good old fashioned "quad off."
As well as the accompanying Tweet:
-2.jpg)
Actually, there's nothing weird about that, it's just Hans and Franz hanging out with in the Olympic Village's Castro district with no pants on.
Between the beach volleyball and the "quad-offs" the Brooklyn waterfront is going to be the new Muscle Beach.
To wit:
Anonymous said...
Rookie error by BikeSnob NYC there, confusing the Aussie Flag with what is actually the New Zealand flag...its a New Zealand flag, ergo, the guy on the roof was a sheep rooter/defiler....
our Kiwi cousins often pretend to be Aussies because they are so ashamed of their minnow status in everything...
July 30, 2012 9:48 PM
I'm not even sure it's possible to positively identify the flag given the extremely poor quality of the picture, which I took with professional quality photo equipment from the cockpit of a helicopter, and not with a Cheetos dust-smudged smartphone from my couch. In fact, I'm not even sure it's possible to positively identify that flag if you're standing right in front of it, since the Australian flag looks like this:
And the New Zealand flag looks like this:
Or maybe the Australian flag looks like this:
And the New Zealand flag looks like this:
Honestly I have no idea. All I know is that if these two so-called "countries" want people to be able to tell them apart they should at least have different flags. It can also be difficult to differentiate Canadians from actual Americans, but you can't say our flags aren't distinctive. Here's Canada's:
(That's a maple leaf, and not a silhouette of two turkeys humping.)
And here's America's:
(America: Guns, Trucks, and Money)
Betsy Ross sewed the first American flag back in 1492 (that's "sewed" in the American sense, meaning that she drew it on paper and then had it made in China), and you can see why we don't stitch that onto our backpacks like the Canadians do. Instead, we just stitch Canadian flags on there so people will be nice to us and not take us hostage.
(By the way, if you ever want to be sure the person you're dealing with is an actual Canadian, just ask him or her to name the US Secretary of State. If he answers correctly, then he's a Canadian.)
Meanwhile, here in Brooklyn, bike thefts in Williamsburg have apparently quadrupled:
I'm no criminalologist, but there are three (17) likely explanations for this:
1) More people are cycling in Williamsburg;
2) Criminals have realized that more people are cycling in Williamsburg and have decided to start taking their bicycles from them;
5) Given the constant influx of transplants from other parts of the United States, the typical Williamsburger is now roughly four times more likely to be utterly clueless, which makes taking bikes from them extremely easy;
D) A fine dessert cheese can complement any meal.
I told you I wasn't a criminalologist.
So what can you do to protect your bike? Well, obviously you should put a lock on it, and it also helps if your city bike is an easily replaceable piece of crap and not a $5,000 rolling artisanal handjob:
Also, according to a bike messenger quoted in the above article, you should also personalize your bike and have lots of friends:
Ciminera, 29, said she didn't go to the police when her bike was stolen months ago, but that other members of the bike messenger community spotted it 15 minutes after she sent a mass text message to make people watch out for the personalized two-wheeler, whose stickers and decorations made it recognizable.
"They went on a high-speed chase and got it back," recalled Ciminera. "It's good to personalize your bike, not just to ride around a factory Schwinn."
I drive more people away from me every year so the friend thing is not an option, but the personalization tip is a particularly good one, so I took her advice by putting distinctive $2,000 crabon racing wheels on my Scattante and then hanging a bunch of $600 electronic rear derailleurs from the top tube. Sure, all that cost me more than a Beloved, but if the bike gets stolen while I'm in a bar getting drunk with a bunch of Portland transplants it will be instantly recognizable.
Ironically though, while everyone seems to want to steal bikes in Brooklyn, nobody in Brooklyn seems to want bikes around. Consider the $40 million velodrome a wealthy benefactor wants to gift to the city, and which the neighborhood residents don't want:
So what could possibly be so bad about putting a velodrome on the Brooklyn waterfront? Well, here's the mind-bendingly paradoxical reasoning behind the opposition:
Leaders of the major community groups in the neighborhoods abutting the park, including Brooklyn Heights and Dumbo, have questions about the track. They say they worry about the building’s size (with a footprint of up to 70,000 square feet, it is larger than a football field) and the traffic it might draw to the cobbled streets of Brooklyn Heights, while pointing out the relatively obscure nature of track cycling, in which riders on fixed-gear bicycles without brakes travel at terrific speeds around curves banked at 45-degree angles.
In other words, they say that arena will draw too much traffic, yet at the same time track cycling is "obscure," which means nobody is going to come see it. I suppose the project is also too big yet too small, and too cheap yet too expensive, and too crazy yet too sane, and up is down, and 2+2+5.
On top of all this, I wonder if it ever occurred to any of the brilliant amateur urban planners who comprise these "community groups" that a lot of these bike racing fans might actually ride their fucking bikes to the velodrome, and that you could fit about a hundred bikes in the space two of these "community group" members take up with their cars.
I was also intrigued by the article's description of track racing:
"...riders on fixed-gear bicycles without brakes travel at terrific speeds around curves banked at 45-degree angles."
Is it even necessary to explain the concept of bikes racing around an indoor track? I remember when journalists used to explain the fixed-gear trend by saying they're like the bikes track racers use. Now they explain track racing by saying they're like the bikes fixed-gear riders use. It makes track racing sound like some kind of newfangled indoor alleycat, and as though track racing followed the fixed-gear trend and not the other way around.
But the most convincing anti-velodrome argument was this completely irrelevant zebra metaphor:
“You can paint stripes on a horse, but that doesn’t make it a zebra,” said Peter Flemming, co-chairman of the independent Brooklyn Bridge Park Community Council and a resident of Brooklyn Heights. “Nor can calling this a ‘field house’ make it anything other than an Olympic-class track-cyling velodrome.”
You can call a velodrome cockblocker the co-chairman of the independent Brooklyn Bridge Park Community Council, but that doesn't make him not a velodrome cockblocker.
Oh, also, someone named Candace is afraid velodrome-bound cars could "overwhelm the neighborhood:"
Candace Lombardi, a Brooklyn Heights resident of 17 years, said she worried that the cars that would most likely descend on the velodrome could overwhelm the neighborhood. (There is no parking in the plan.) “This is a little 19th-century street with cobblestones,” she said, pointing to the foot of Joralemon Street, which is near the proposed site. “I’m just thinking about all the spectators and the traffic this will bring.”
Between this and the complaints about bike share stations, people in Brooklyn Heights must have the most bloated sense of entitlement on this side of the Willamette. Brooklyn Heights is right on the Brooklyn-Queens Expressway, at the foot of the Brooklyn Bridge, and adjacent to downtown Brooklyn, which is full of courthouses and municipal buildings and colleges and office buildings--yet somehow the velodrome is going to be the thing that "overwhelms the neighborhood." I'd suggest to Candace Lombardi that if she's looking for tranquility she made a bad choice by moving to Brooklyn Heights, and if she wants a peaceful upscale enclave dripping with charm and cachet and within reasonable commuting distance to Manhattan she may want to look into a picturesque little neighborhood called Connecticut.
As for the pro-velodrome people, they've found themselves a handy scapegoat in the form of beach volleyball players:
As for critics who have dismissed track cycling as elitist, obscure or simply weird, Mr. Reiners countered that Brooklyn Bridge Park recently opened three regulation-size sand volleyball courts on Pier 6. “If that’s the criteria for building facilities in this park, that it has to be very well known and popular, then that seems like a facetious argument,” he said. “Beach volleyball is fairly obscure itself.”
Actually, the solution is obvious, and I think the perfect compromise would be to use the space not as a velodrome but as an indoor cyclocross park where the riders compete in bikinis. This should please everybody. Plus, everybody knows cyclocross is the new track racing anyway. Buying an expensive track bike, saying you're going to take it to the velodrome, and never actually doing it is so five years ago. Now it's all about buying an expensive cyclocross bike, saying you're going to race cyclocross, never actually doing it, but justifying the bike by riding it on a short gravel path every once in awhile and taking lots of photos of it.
As for the people who actually do race track bikes, the "simply weird" criticism isn't entirely unwarranted. Consider this article which was forwarded to me by a reader:
-1.jpg)
Are you wondering what the Olympic athletes are doing to pass the time before they compete in competitions they've trained their entire lives for?
If you're part of the German men's cycling team, then you pass the time by pulling down your pants and having a good old fashioned "quad off."
As well as the accompanying Tweet:
-2.jpg)
Actually, there's nothing weird about that, it's just Hans and Franz hanging out with in the Olympic Village's Castro district with no pants on.
Between the beach volleyball and the "quad-offs" the Brooklyn waterfront is going to be the new Muscle Beach.
POWER FAILURES HIT MILLIONS IN INDIA
INDIA POWER GRID COLLAPSES
FOR SECOND TIME IN TWO DAYS
FOR SECOND TIME IN TWO DAYS
www.usatoday.com - India's energy crisis cascaded over half the country Tuesday when three of its regional grids collapsed, leaving 620 million people without government-supplied electricity in one of the world's biggest-ever blackouts. Hundreds of trains stalled across the country and traffic lights went out, causing widespread traffic jams in New Delhi. Electric crematoria stopped operating, some with bodies half burnt, power officials said. Emergency workers rushed generators to coal mines to rescue miners trapped underground. The massive power failure - a day after a similar, but smaller - has raised serious concerns about India's outdated infrastructure and the government's inability to meet its huge appetite for energy as the country aspires to become a regional economic superpower. Power Minister Sushil Kumar Shinde blamed the new crisis on states taking more than their allotted share of electricity. The new power failure affected people across 20 of India's 28 states - more than the entire population of the European Union plus Turkey.
The blackout was unusual in its reach, stretching from the border with Myanmar in the northeast to the Pakistani border about 1,870 miles away. Its impact, however, was softened by Indians' familiarity with frequent blackouts and the widespread use of backup generators for major businesses and key facilities such as hospitals and airports. The outages came just a day after India's northern power grid collapsed for several hours. Indian officials managed to restore power several hours later, but at 1:05 p.m. Tuesday the northern grid collapsed again, said Shailendre Dubey, an official at the Uttar Pradesh Power Corp. in India's largest state. About the same time, the eastern grid failed and then the northeastern grid followed, energy officials in those regions said. The grids serve more than half India's population. In West Bengal, express trains and local electric trains were stopped at stations across the state of West Bengal on the eastern grid. Crowds of people thronged the stations, waiting for any transport to take them to their destinations.
About 600 million people lost power in India when the country’s northern and eastern electricity grids failed, crippling the country for a second consecutive day. The outage stopped hundreds of trains in their tracks, darkened traffic lights, shuttered the Delhi Metro and left nearly everyone - the police, water utilities, private businesses and citizens - without electricity. Real prosperity flourishes on the natural gifts of nature, but when society depends on industrial complexes and huge factories, people have no time and no taste for any spiritual pursuits.
WHAT DO THE VEDIC TEACHINGS TELL US?
Essentially, the more society depends on artificial necessities, the more vulnerable it becomes to artificial crises. Thus, civilization suffers and the economy slows whenever there is not enough oil, gas, electricity, or when the prices of such modern commodities become too high. When there is a loss of oil, gas, and other such necessities, or when there is an electrical blackout, so many activities are forced to stop. So many machines and appliances are but recent inventions, but now we have become so dependent on them that without them we think we can no longer function. Thus, people become trapped ever more deeply in the struggle to earn more money to buy more things that they are convinced they require to live happily and comfortably. In this way, they are tied and enslaved to a system whose goal is profits rather than really benefiting society.Stephen Knapp (Śrīpad Nandanandana dasa) :
"Economics According to the Dharmic Way"
http://www.stephen-knapp.com/economics_according_to_the_vedic_way.htm
http://www.stephen-knapp.com - http://www.stephenknapp.info/
"Economics According to the Dharmic Way"
http://www.stephen-knapp.com/economics_according_to_the_vedic_way.htm
http://www.stephen-knapp.com - http://www.stephenknapp.info/
Published by dasavatara das - "Vedic Views on World News"
http://www.vedicviews-worldnews.blogspot.com.ar/
http://www.vedicviews-worldnews.blogspot.com.ar/
Warning: I'm feeling snarky today
So here are some random topics...
Now that the MODERN FAMILY adults have gotten a pay raise, the kids want to negotiate pay hikes as well. I'm not making this up. Did they not see how hard it was to replace Lilly? Have they not noticed that on MAD MEN every year there’s a different Bobby Draper? Ray & Debra Barone had kids too. How often did you see them? If Haley is shipped off
Monday, July 30, 2012
SOS: Distress Calls and Warning Signs
There we were, high above the London streets, when we spotted a lone man on a rooftop clad only in a mankini:
Don't let the NBC logo fool you. When I took this photo I was observing the Olympic road race not from my couch but from the Brooks England Ltd. corporate chopper, which was being flown by none other than Eric "The Chamferer" Murray. Eric pilots a helicopter the same way he chamfers a saddle, which is to say expertly, and with occasional breaks to put a knife to your throat as he snarls the words "Stop your fucking crying" through clenched teeth.
As for why we were following the race, I had been hired to cover it by a Latvian newspaper called Neatkarīgā Rīta Avīze, and I cut a deal with Eric wherein I'd split my considerable fee with him if he'd "borrow" the Brooks helicopter and fly me around in it. And since my standard fee in Latvia is now up to LVL30, this meant we'd be clearing over fifteen Great British Pounds Sterling per man, which isn't exactly chump change. (It's actually a lot less than chump change.)
Anyway, back to the guy on the rooftop, who by now was lying next to an Australian flag waving his arms in what appeared to be distress:
Eric executed a deft banking maneuver (by which I mean he stole my fifteen "quid" and banked it safely in the pocket of his overalls), landed the chopper on an adjacent building, and leaped from the cockpit. I was sure he was going to rescue the castaway, but instead Eric chastised him for disrespecting the dignity and spirit of the Games, all the while using his chamfering knife for emphasis. Finally, Eric put a boot in the man's immodestly-clad groin as a closing punctuation mark. Moments later we were airborne again, the irreverent Australian writhing in the hot tar of the rooftop down below, and a snot bubble the size of a snow globe in my nostril.
As for the race itself, everybody knows by now that the gold medal went to Alexander Vinokourov. Here he is making the race-winning move:
And here he is giving the old "Kasakh handshake" to the guy who ultimately took silver:
Vinokourov buys himself wins like Mark Cavendish buys himself sports cars.
Another memorable moment in the race was when Fabian Cancellara rode straight into the barrier:
I took this photograph as Eric strafed the chasing peloton for laughs, and while this could have contributed to the crash (at least that's what the police claimed afterwards), I suspect what really happened was that Cancellara forgot to throttle back on his Gruber Assist when he came into the turn. (Though I suppose the strafing theory isn't completely without merit, since later that day I did see Vinokourov hand Eric a hundred and fifty bucks.)
By the way, if you're an aircraft enthusiast and you're wondering what kind of helicopter we were using, it probably won't surprise you to learn that Brooks is somewhat "retrogrouchy" when it comes to flying equipment:
Toni In The Woods from Severin Landolt on Vimeo.
It opens with a lone figure wearing dungaree jean pants and a tanking top shirt:
Who is evidently a member of the dreaded "Crabcycles" posse:
So named because of the tiny creatures that inhabit their jean pants.
After surveying the landscape, the lone figure tightens his gimmicky Fred flippers:
Crests a small rise:
And then commences with the pointless skidding:
Which results in the inevitable flat tire:
Then there's some more skidding:
And, as the cineastes say, "Fin:"
I'm not afraid to say that this short video changed my entire view of the bicycle. I used to think of the bike as an elegant vehicle that can carry a rider efficiently over a variety of terrain, but I now understand it's merely a tool meant to destroy tires, kind of like a really big nutcracker. I now plan to upgrade all of my tire-destroying devices by removing the brakes and derailleurs and correcting the malfunctioning rear hubs that fail to engage when I cease pedaling.
But what if going through stacks of $50 tires like a bowl of pistachio nuts is not expensive enough for you? Well, there's always amateur bike racing, and it was only a matter of time before Gran Fondo Doping Fred made the New York Times:
Apparently, Gran Fondo Doping Fred used EPO for the same reason PSAs claim kids pilfer beer and smoke "Wednesday weed:'
Anthony said he used drugs to maintain his social standing within the local racing scene and on his BH-Comedy Central amateur team.
“It wasn’t for money, and it wasn’t for winning,” said Anthony, a three-time winner of the Tour of the Battenkill race in upstate New York. “It was about being relevant in the group, which was pretty addicting.”
Wow. Winning I can understand, but he actually did it for social standing? If you're addicted to being relevant in a group of people who wake up at 4:30am to ride circles in Central Park and then go straight back home again then having a Costco membership must feel like belonging to the Harvard Club. Also, he spent "several thousands of dollars each month" and slept in a $4,000 tent:
Anthony, who began racing in 2009, said he had recently upgraded to the amateur category 2 — one step below the highest amateur category. A former cigarette smoker, he said bicycle racing quickly took over his life. He trained 16 to 20 hours a week and spent several thousand dollars each month on race entry fees and transportation to events. He also slept in a $4,000 hypoxic altitude tent, which pro cyclists commonly use to legally increase the production of red blood cells.
“The sport is all-consuming; it’s not like weekend softball,” he said. “I was only involved in it for four years, and it took over most of my energy.”
So basically, he spent a fortune toys and drugs just so people would like him. In other words, the only difference between him and a cocaine addict is that the cocaine addict actually gets to have sex before his life falls apart, whereas a $4,000 altitude tent will probably drive potential sexual partners from your house faster than a bedroom full of Star Wars memorabilia and a rocking chair containing a desiccated corpse of your mother à la "Psycho." Plus, recreational drug addicts have a decent shot at redemption, whereas in cycling it's become a lot harder since Rock Racing went bankrupt:
Now those were some sweet dungaree pants.
Don't let the NBC logo fool you. When I took this photo I was observing the Olympic road race not from my couch but from the Brooks England Ltd. corporate chopper, which was being flown by none other than Eric "The Chamferer" Murray. Eric pilots a helicopter the same way he chamfers a saddle, which is to say expertly, and with occasional breaks to put a knife to your throat as he snarls the words "Stop your fucking crying" through clenched teeth.
As for why we were following the race, I had been hired to cover it by a Latvian newspaper called Neatkarīgā Rīta Avīze, and I cut a deal with Eric wherein I'd split my considerable fee with him if he'd "borrow" the Brooks helicopter and fly me around in it. And since my standard fee in Latvia is now up to LVL30, this meant we'd be clearing over fifteen Great British Pounds Sterling per man, which isn't exactly chump change. (It's actually a lot less than chump change.)
Anyway, back to the guy on the rooftop, who by now was lying next to an Australian flag waving his arms in what appeared to be distress:
(Nearly naked Australian may have been stranded on the roof of a London building for days without Fosters or Vegemite.)
Eric executed a deft banking maneuver (by which I mean he stole my fifteen "quid" and banked it safely in the pocket of his overalls), landed the chopper on an adjacent building, and leaped from the cockpit. I was sure he was going to rescue the castaway, but instead Eric chastised him for disrespecting the dignity and spirit of the Games, all the while using his chamfering knife for emphasis. Finally, Eric put a boot in the man's immodestly-clad groin as a closing punctuation mark. Moments later we were airborne again, the irreverent Australian writhing in the hot tar of the rooftop down below, and a snot bubble the size of a snow globe in my nostril.
As for the race itself, everybody knows by now that the gold medal went to Alexander Vinokourov. Here he is making the race-winning move:
And here he is giving the old "Kasakh handshake" to the guy who ultimately took silver:
Vinokourov buys himself wins like Mark Cavendish buys himself sports cars.
Another memorable moment in the race was when Fabian Cancellara rode straight into the barrier:
I took this photograph as Eric strafed the chasing peloton for laughs, and while this could have contributed to the crash (at least that's what the police claimed afterwards), I suspect what really happened was that Cancellara forgot to throttle back on his Gruber Assist when he came into the turn. (Though I suppose the strafing theory isn't completely without merit, since later that day I did see Vinokourov hand Eric a hundred and fifty bucks.)
By the way, if you're an aircraft enthusiast and you're wondering what kind of helicopter we were using, it probably won't surprise you to learn that Brooks is somewhat "retrogrouchy" when it comes to flying equipment:
The Brooks B-17 helicopter is as at home in the skies as it is on your local "Tweed Ride," and I can assure you those wheels have been properly tensioned and stress-relieved as per Jobst Brandt's "The Bicycle Wheel."
Speaking of hapless Swiss people on bikes, this past weekend I received the following email:
Hey cyclist,
I made a new fxdgr video in Switzerland. Maybe post on your blog?
enjoy
Along with a link to that video:
Toni In The Woods from Severin Landolt on Vimeo.
It opens with a lone figure wearing dungaree jean pants and a tanking top shirt:
Who is evidently a member of the dreaded "Crabcycles" posse:
So named because of the tiny creatures that inhabit their jean pants.
After surveying the landscape, the lone figure tightens his gimmicky Fred flippers:
Crests a small rise:
And then commences with the pointless skidding:
Which results in the inevitable flat tire:
Then there's some more skidding:
And, as the cineastes say, "Fin:"
I'm not afraid to say that this short video changed my entire view of the bicycle. I used to think of the bike as an elegant vehicle that can carry a rider efficiently over a variety of terrain, but I now understand it's merely a tool meant to destroy tires, kind of like a really big nutcracker. I now plan to upgrade all of my tire-destroying devices by removing the brakes and derailleurs and correcting the malfunctioning rear hubs that fail to engage when I cease pedaling.
But what if going through stacks of $50 tires like a bowl of pistachio nuts is not expensive enough for you? Well, there's always amateur bike racing, and it was only a matter of time before Gran Fondo Doping Fred made the New York Times:
Apparently, Gran Fondo Doping Fred used EPO for the same reason PSAs claim kids pilfer beer and smoke "Wednesday weed:'
Anthony said he used drugs to maintain his social standing within the local racing scene and on his BH-Comedy Central amateur team.
“It wasn’t for money, and it wasn’t for winning,” said Anthony, a three-time winner of the Tour of the Battenkill race in upstate New York. “It was about being relevant in the group, which was pretty addicting.”
Wow. Winning I can understand, but he actually did it for social standing? If you're addicted to being relevant in a group of people who wake up at 4:30am to ride circles in Central Park and then go straight back home again then having a Costco membership must feel like belonging to the Harvard Club. Also, he spent "several thousands of dollars each month" and slept in a $4,000 tent:
Anthony, who began racing in 2009, said he had recently upgraded to the amateur category 2 — one step below the highest amateur category. A former cigarette smoker, he said bicycle racing quickly took over his life. He trained 16 to 20 hours a week and spent several thousand dollars each month on race entry fees and transportation to events. He also slept in a $4,000 hypoxic altitude tent, which pro cyclists commonly use to legally increase the production of red blood cells.
“The sport is all-consuming; it’s not like weekend softball,” he said. “I was only involved in it for four years, and it took over most of my energy.”
So basically, he spent a fortune toys and drugs just so people would like him. In other words, the only difference between him and a cocaine addict is that the cocaine addict actually gets to have sex before his life falls apart, whereas a $4,000 altitude tent will probably drive potential sexual partners from your house faster than a bedroom full of Star Wars memorabilia and a rocking chair containing a desiccated corpse of your mother à la "Psycho." Plus, recreational drug addicts have a decent shot at redemption, whereas in cycling it's become a lot harder since Rock Racing went bankrupt:
Now those were some sweet dungaree pants.
Schwarzenegger and Shriver still can't sell their Santa Barbara Ranch
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| Santa Barbara Ranch, California |
Ex Mr Universe Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver are having a tough time unloading their home–which they put up for sale after their marriage hit the rocks following Arnold’s indescretions. The ex-couple had their Carpinteria,California home on hte market since January.
Maria reportedly thinks they can’t find a buyer because the house has “bad energy”. The power due spent $4.7 million for the 25-acre historic Santa Barbara Ranch Monte Alegro tract. “She thinks the land has bad energy,” a friend of the family said. “Maria’s a very spiritual person and she don’t want any negativity in her life, especially after everything she went through, so she just wants it gone from her life.
The 25-acre property is a historic part of Santa Barbara, boasting such old-Hollywood inhabitants as Clark Gable, John Wayne, and Jimmy Stewart, making the $4.495 million asking price seem like a steal. Still, it’s difficult to sell a property when everyone knows its dark backstory, especially when it was formerly owned by someone famous enough to get it in all the tabloids. The “bad energy” is one thing, but lack of privacy is quite another.
Shriver, according to the family friend, is anxious to get the house sold and be done with it, as it’s the remaining piece linking her to Arnold and their marriage. As for Schwarzenegger, he’s got problems elsewhere; the family of a stunt member who died on the set of “The Expendables 2″ is suing the makers of the film for wrongful death, which could throw some bad publicity towards the movie during opening week.
INTERNATIONAL DAY OF FRIENDSHIP
30 JULY FRIENDSHIP DAY
LET’S CELEBRATE TOGETHER!
LET’S CELEBRATE TOGETHER!
http://ibnlive.in.com - July 30 is International Friendship Day, time to recognise your friends and their contribution to your life. Friendship helps to bring peace and positivity to the globe - a great reason to celebrate! Friendship Day celebrations are held on different dates in different countries of the world. The first World Friendship Day was proposed on 30 July 1958 in Paraguay. On 27 April, 2011, the General Assembly of the United Nations declared 30 July as official International Friendship Day. However, in India, Friendship Day is celebrated on the first Sunday of August. Friendship Day was originally proposed by Joyce Hall, the founder of Hallmark cards in 1919, intended to be the first Sunday of August and a day when people celebrated their friendships by sending cards. The first Sunday in August was chosen as the centre of the largest lull between holiday celebrations but it faced consumer resistance, given that it was rather too obviously a commercial gimmick to promote greetings cards.
The International Day of Friendship was proclaimed in 2011 by the UN General Assembly with the idea that friendship between peoples, countries, cultures and individuals can inspire peace efforts and build bridges between communities. The resolution (A/RES/65/275) places particular emphasis on involving young people, as future leaders, in community activities that include different cultures and promote international understanding and respect for diversity. The Day is also intended to support the goals and objectives of the Declaration and Programme of Action on a Culture of Peace and the International Decade for a Culture of Peace and Non-Violence for the Children of the World (2001-2010). To mark the International Day of Friendship the UN encourages governments, international organizations and civil society groups to hold events, activities and initiatives that contribute to the efforts of the international community towards promoting a dialogue among civilizations, solidarity, mutual understanding and reconciliation.
WHAT DO THE VEDIC TEACHINGS TELL US?
The only friend is Krishna. One should try to raise the consciousness of the conditioned soul to the platform of understanding that Krishna is his actual friend. If one makes friendship with Krishna, one will never be cheated, and he will get all help needed. Arousing this consciousness of the conditioned soul is the greatest service, not posing oneself as a great friend of another living entity. The power of friendship is limited. Although one claims to be a friend, he cannot be a friend unlimitedly. There are an unlimited number of living entities, and our resources are limited; therefore we cannot be of any real benefit to the people in general. The best service to the people in general is to awaken them to Krishna consciousness so that they may know that the supreme enjoyer, the supreme proprietor and the supreme friend is Krishna.
Śrīla A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupāda :
Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam (Bhāgavata Purāṇa)
Canto 3: The Status Quo
Chapter 27: "Understanding Material Nature"
Verse 4 - http://vedabase.com/en/sb/3/27/4
Published by dasavatara das - "Vedic Views on World News"
http://www.vedicviews-worldnews.blogspot.com.ar/
Receiving a Television Critics Award
Just as swallows return to San Juan Capistrano every March, television critics flock to Los Angeles every July for their bi-annual convention. For several weeks they’re trapped in the Beverly Hilton Hotel as networks parade out their newest shows, stars, and showrunners for panel discussions. Last year the producers of HOW TO BE A GENTLEMAN went on for an hour about how great their show was.
Sunday, July 29, 2012
More Olympic Controversy
As the stories begin emerging, it is more and more apparent that we Star Spangled Americans were treated to a distorted view of the Opening Ceremonies. Based on your comments, it seems the rest of the world didn’t have Paula Abdul babbling throughout the spectacle like we did thanks to NBC. And the rest of the world didn’t see a selectively edited version.
Word now surfaces that there
14 DEAD IN UGANDAN EBOLA OUTBREAK
UGANDA EBOLA OUTBREAK: PATIENTS
FLEE HOSPITAL AMID CONTAGION FEARS
FLEE HOSPITAL AMID CONTAGION FEARS
www.guardian.co.uk - Terrified patients fled from a hospital in western Uganda as soon as news broke that a mysterious illness that killed at least 14 people in the region was Ebola, one of the world's most virulent diseases. Ignatius Besisira, an MP for Buyaga East County in the Kibaale district, said people had at first believed the unexplained deaths were related to witchcraft. "Immediately, when there was confirmation that it was Ebola … patients ran out of Kagadi hospital (where some of the victims had died)," he told the Guardian. "Even the medical officers are very, very frightened," he said. 
Government officials and a World Health Organisation representative confirmed the Ebola outbreak at a news conference in Kampala on Saturday. "Laboratory investigations done at the Uganda Virus Research Institute ... have confirmed that the strange disease reported in Kibaale is indeed Ebola haemorrhagic fever," they said in a joint statement. Health officials said at least 20 people had been infected and of those 14 had died.
"There is no treatment or vaccine against Ebola, which is transmitted by close personal contact and, depending on the strain, can kill up to 90% of those who contract the virus. It has a devastating history in Uganda, where in 2000, at least 425 people were infected, of whom more than half died. The WHO describes Ebola as "a viral haemorrhagic fever and one of the most virulent diseases known to humankind". It says the disease was identified in 1976 in a western equatorial province of Sudan and a nearby region of Zaire (now Democratic Republic of the Congo). It takes its name from a river in the DRC. Ebola is transmitted by direct contact with the body fluids and tissues of infected persons. It can also be transmitted by handling sick or dead infected wild animals, such as chimpanzees, gorillas, monkeys, forest antelope and fruit bats. Symptoms include sudden fever, intense weakness, muscle pain, headache and sore throat, followed by vomiting, diarrhoea, rashes, impaired kidney and liver function and bleeding.
The deadly Ebola virus has killed 14 people in western Uganda this month, health officials said, ending weeks of speculation about the cause of a strange disease that had many people fleeing their homes. Ebola, which manifests itself as a haemorrhagic fever, is highly infectious and kills quickly. It was first reported in 1976 in Congo and is named after the river where it was recognised. Our span of life on earth is very short, and death sorrounds us everyday. However, physical illness with Hari-bhajana is preferred to physical fitness without glorifying the Lord.
WHAT DO THE VEDIC TEACHINGS TELL US?
Whether in illness or health, a devotee will always pray to Krsna, “My success or failure is up to You.” If he doesn’t get rich, or he doesn’t recover from an illness, he doesn’t blame Krsna. Somebody might say, “Just see, you prayed to Krsna and nothing happened - you didn’t get any money, your health did not improve - there is no Krsna!” But the devotee will simply laugh and say, “No, you don’t understand. Krsna had more important things to do.” The devotee says that, “I have my karma and I don’t expect Krsna to solve all my problems. He is not my servant, I am His servant.” There is a difference. Many people in the world have a hard time understanding suffering, and when they pray to God they expect that suffering, pain, disease and poverty will disappear. When that doesn’t happen they finally say, “There is no God!” ... There are five main subjects that Krsna explains in Bhagavad-gita, and one of these subjects is karma - what is action and what is reaction. Without this knowledge you cannot understand why there is suffering in this world and you will subscribe to the idea that God is very cruel.
Śrīla Bhakti Gaurava Narasingha Maharaja :
"Sri Krsna Janmastami" - "We Want to see Our God Enjoy"
Shri Narasingha Chaitanya Matha
http://gosai.com/writings/sri-krsna-janmastami
"Sri Krsna Janmastami" - "We Want to see Our God Enjoy"
Shri Narasingha Chaitanya Matha
http://gosai.com/writings/sri-krsna-janmastami
Published by dasavatara das - "Vedic Views on World News"
http://www.vedicviews-worldnews.blogspot.com.ar/
http://www.vedicviews-worldnews.blogspot.com.ar/
THE DARK KNIGHT review RETURNS
Yes, this is a re-post. It's my review of the DARK KNIGHT from August, 2008. Like I said earlier, I thought the latest one was okay but not as much fun as the previous two. But the second film inspired me to write this:
Why
would anyone live in Gotham City? Jesus! You can’t swing a dead cat
without hitting six mob bosses. And then there’s the town’s super
psycho villain – they
Why
would anyone live in Gotham City? Jesus! You can’t swing a dead cat
without hitting six mob bosses. And then there’s the town’s super
psycho villain – they
Saturday, July 28, 2012
Pamela Anderson with Palin, Alley, Fatone etc. back in "Dancing With The Star"
Pamela Anderson is returning to the dance floor for a second shot at the Dancing With The Stars Mirror Ball Trophy. Bristol Palin, actress Kirstie Alley, Joey Fatone and Apolo Ohno are also to compete on the all-star edition of "Dancing with the Stars" in Los Angeles, ABC said. Last year's (11) runner-up Alley and Baywatch beauty Anderson will face off against 'N Sync's Joey Fatone and 98 Degrees singer Drew Lachey in the upcoming season of the hit U.S. reality show.
Also joining the competition are Sex and the City: The Movie actor Gilles Marini, model Kelly Monaco, and speed skating champion Apollo Ono. Also set to compete on the show this fall are their fellow former contestants Melissa Rycroft, Shawn Johnson, Helio Castroneves, Drew Lachey and Emmitt Smith, it was announced Friday.
This year (12), TV bosses invited back the 14 most popular contestants of the past for an all-star special, instead of creating a new line-up of fresh faces like they have in previous seasons.
Viewers will vote on the 13th contestant from among Sabrina Bryan, Carson Kressley and Kyle Massey. The contestant who wins the vote will be announced Aug. 27 on "Good Morning America." The new Dancing With the Stars will premiere on 24 September (12).
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| Danciing With The Stars contestant |
AIDS 2012: WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE?
19TH INTERNATIONAL AIDS
CONFERENCE IN WASHINGTON
CONFERENCE IN WASHINGTON
www.thebody.com - At the close of the 2012 International AIDS Conference in Washington D.C., we stand at a threshold between the past and the future. We can now imagine an AIDS-free world; it's at our doorstep within our reach - but only if we decide to act now - and we must act now. Decisively. Deliberately. Definitively. The End of AIDS: We have heard this phrase many times for the last five days. We have attended hundreds of sessions on the latest scientific HIV research, we have viewed thousands of posters pointing to new tools at our disposal; we have been inspired by numerous plenary speakers, leaders in their fields of research, science, advocacy and policy, who tell us that we are now beginning to turn the tide to on AIDS. But will we? Despite the developments serious problems remain. There are approximately 50,000 people who become infected with HIV each year in the United States. This number has remained unchanged for nearly the past ten years. We need to make serious adjustments in our prevention methodologies.
"I charge everyone who attended this Conference to ask this one important question," said Phill Wilson, President and CEO of the Black AIDS Institute. "Was it all worth it? Was it worth the time, energy and expense to come to Washington for a week or more? When we leave D.C., where do we go from here?" We are done with the sessions and the lessons. Now we must move on and out beyond D.C. and back to our families and our communities, where we must spread the news from AIDS2012. The End of AIDS is more than just a declaration: it's a commitment and it's a charge. We must now take the Conference on the road to turn the tide of HIV in our own neighborhoods. And we must do it now. An AIDS-Free Generation is within our reach only if we seize this moment and maximize this opportunity. "Talking is not enough," said Wilson. "We must redouble our commitment to act. This is our charge. And we can prevail." The Black AIDS Institute now demands for implementation of what we learned at this Conference. It's now up to us.
WHAT DO THE VEDIC TEACHINGS TELL US?
The debates that presently take place concerning the medicines to relieve the effects of AIDS, the help given to those with the illness, the tolerance of society towards its victims, etc, are surely full of goodness, with a sincere desire to help those who are suffering; but it has to be noted that the most important needs are beyond these. The most needed debates are those that bring forth spiritual education, engendering superior values so that the entire world follows good examples so as not to be led into such a fallen position. Those with AIDS are in a situation very difficult to imagine, but they should now be more stimulated to look for God through self-realisation, and to take the sacred mantras that can give them a progressive, positive understanding of their existence. It does not matter is such an understanding comes to them even at their death, because the Vedic understanding takes us beyond the bodily concepts of birth and death. It opens up the doors of our lives to a permanent existence, where there are no more afflictions caused by ignorance and egoism.
Śrīla Bhakti Aloka Paramadvaiti Mahārāja :
"AIDS – The Plague of the Century"
The Vedic Wisdom Online
http://vwonline.blogspot.com.ar/2006/03/aids-plague-of-century.html
http://bhaktipedia.org/espanol/index.php?n=sabidurias_vedicas.sida
Published by dasavatara das - "Vedic Views on World News"
http://www.vedicviews-worldnews.blogspot.com.ar/
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