We Can't Stop Here, This is Bat Country

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

By the way, while in New Orleans last week, I saw a pretty good movie that I didn't even know existed called "Where the Buffalo Roam" starring the legendary 1980's Bill Murray as Hunter S. Thompson. That's right. The acid-popping, fax machine shooting, chainsmoking, brilliance mumbling journalist that brought you such classics as Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas. As you may have expected, this movie was very similar to Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas (though being done a decade or so earlier) but was actually pretty damn entertaining...and takes place at Super Bowl VI among other locals...and of course, Bill Murray is hilarious...and maybe even did a better Hunter than Johnny Depp did. I don't know, you be the judge. Check it out if you can find it.

Other than that, not a whole lot has changed since yesterday for me. I went to the gym a few times (last night & this morning), laundered my clothing, talked to Bubbles & my mom, arranged to finally pick up that table in Boulder that I bought a few weeks ago but couldn't fit in my car, thanks to T-Skittle & D-Skittle. Remember them? Were I spent my first weekend here in Denver while I was waiting for my apartment to open up? Yeah, they have a truck and are gonna help a playa out. Football news has been...interesting. The Racists are signing a bunch of free agents, my dad's favorite team the Chiefs just traded to get some good players, and one of my favorite players for my team (GO EAGLES!!!) is now...moving here to Denver to play for the Broncos. (Sigh...) This time of year is always interesting because free agency is like hired guns of the old West. There's really no loyalty (on either end, players or management) and it's really money talks and T.O. walks. Oh well, enough about that. Here's some news...

Samuel L. Update - Who hasn't gone to see a movie just because Samuel L. Jackson was starring in it? Really? You never went and saw the Shaft remake? Snakes on a Plane? The Spirit? Formula 51? Lakeview Terrace? Jumper? The Man? Coach Carter? Or any other movie where the only possible draw…was that Samuel L. Jackson would be yelling in it? Well, good for you. Maybe this next story isn't meant for you then…because this guy may never have to sign another deal the rest of his life if this one goes through. The ubiquitous actor is negotiating a NINE picture deal with Marvel Entertainment that would have him playing secret agent Nick Fury in Iron Man 2 and EIGHT other comic-book-inspired superhero films. Jackson popped up briefly as Fury, who works for the SHIELD (U.S. government's Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement, and Logistics Division) after the end credits of the 2008 blockbuster Iron Man, when he asks Robert Downey Jr.'s Tony Stark if the billionaire is interested in coming onboard. A rep for Marvel told E! News the studio "does not comment on active negotiations," but Jackson is said to be a sure thing for at least Iron Man 2 and, if all goes according to plan, the Oscar-nominated actor could wind up in Thor, Captain America, The Avengers and their sequels, as well…including a possible SHIELD-centric action flick as a possibility, according to the Hollywood Reporter. So basically, he could be in a total of ten movies…as the same character. I don't think the same actor has played the same character that many times since the days of Chaplin…or at least Bela Lugosi. Maybe Robert Englund playing Freddie Krueger…but I don't think they've reached ten movies in that series…yet. Anyway, good luck Mr. Jackson. In these hard economic times, sometimes you just have to stick with the script handed to you.

Maybe You Shouldn't Be Allowed to Drive - I realize that even before I start typing about this story, that E*Star is probably going to hate me…even more than she already does…but here I go. A South Korean woman who has failed the driver's exam 775 times is not about to give up on her hope of buying a truck one day to go into her own business, whether other drivers want her on the road or not. 68-year old Cha Sa-soon has been trying since 2005 to pass the written portion of the test to get a license, but she has so far failed to get the 60% required to clear it (are you sh*tting me? 60%?). "I've looked up some guidebooks to get a driver's license, and they were saying it takes at most five years to get this," Cha said in North Jeolla province, where farmers on tractors or cows can be just as common on country roads as motor vehicles. "It's already been four years, so I might pass the test next time. That's what I hope for." Driving schools in South Korea offer courses to enable applicants to walk away with a license in a week. Cha has not been fortunate enough to set foot in such a class, which tends to congregate more in busy metropolitan areas, but she remains unfazed, even after having spent more than 10 million won ($6,800) on test applications. Oh…my goodness. So…she's taken this same test what appears to be every weekday for the past four years…and has yet to pass with the minimum of 60%? Amazing. Absolutely amazing. It's very easy to make fun of this situation…extremely easy actually…but you do have to admire her persistence. I still think that she should be kept as far away from paved roads as possible…but I also have to root for her…now four years and TEN MILLION WON put towards the cause. Besides, she said "I believe you can achieve your goal if you persistently pursue it. So don't give up your dream, like me. Be strong and do your best." Honestly, I'm a little curious if I could pass the written driving test after 775 tries with at least 60% in Korean. "Hmm, I have no idea what these caricatures mean…but if I remember from the last 286 times, I think this series was the right answer…because I remember this one that looks like a horse…and then this swoopy looking thing…yeah, it's definitely this one."

Germans Mystify Me - According to a recent survey, Germans would rather talk about death, sickness or money problems than sex. A new poll of nearly 2,000 Germans showed sex to be the subject they least liked to talk about, with 64% saying it was something they would rather avoid. Just below sex on the list of least-liked topics were cash and relationships. One in three of the Germans preferred not to talk about death, and one in five said sickness was a no-go area. The favorite conversation topic was gossip about friends, followed by the latest prices of consumer goods. Coming a close third was "everyday stuff" and how they felt about themselves. Now, maybe friend of the blog Ruben can help clarify these findings a bit (maybe they don't talk about it, they just do it…and well) but this is just the latest in things about the land of Germany that mystify me. For example…

• What's with all the websites? You know the ones I'm talking about.


• What is so damn appealing about David Hasselhoff? The only reason that Americans know this guy is because of Knight Rider & Baywatch…and that's because we were intrigued by talking cars and bouncing boobage. By the way, wanna know who the first actor to play Nick Fury in a movie was? David Hasselhoff. Apparenlty, he blazed the way for Samuel L. Jackson.


• Could your fantastic food POSSIBLY be more fattening? Granted…it is still delicious.


• Why is it called the 95 Theses? German monk Martin Luther allegedly posted his 95 Theses in 1517 challenged the practices of the Catholic Church…but why aren't they called the 95 Suggestions or something like that…instead of a word that sounds like poop. I think we all know why.


• How is your beer so damn good? I'm guessing you probably put some of that fattening food into it.


• How is you sew smrt? The country has provided over a HUNDRED Nobel Prize winners including Albert Einstein, Sigmund Freud, Gabriel Daniel Fahrenheit (has heat named after him?), Max Planck & Max Born (physics), Wilhelm Conrad Roentgen (X-rays), Wernehr von Braun (Saturn V rockets), Hans Geiger (earthquake measurement), Konrad Zuse (first digital computer), and basically every name associated with automotives and engines (Benz, Diesel, Daimler, etc.) and let's not forget about all the composers (Beethoven, Bach, Brahms, Wagner, Kraftwerk, Rammstein, etc.) and philosophers (Goethe, Marx & Engels, Leibniz, Nietzsche, & the Brothers Grimm). That being said, what Germans have I witnessed in my lifetime? Claudia Schiffer, Katarina Witt, Detlef Schrempf, Dirk Nowitzki, Uwe Boll, Beck's Bier and the guys that made the Shamwow! "You know Germans make great stuff."
  

Asparagus Wars - With political turmoil happening all over the globe (glad that you're back from Bangladesh, Lis & D), sometimes it just goes a little too far. For example, U.N. peacekeepers have upset traditional wild asparagus harvesters on the ethnically divided island of Cyprus by preventing them from entering a buffer zone to gather the tasty shoots. U.N. soldiers say they are only doing their job by restricting access to the buffer zone which splits the island from east to west after Cyprus was divided in a Turkish invasion in 1974 triggered by a Greek-inspired coup...but residents are livid. "This is unacceptable behavior and I have demanded that action is taken," said Nicos Kotziambashis, leader of the Greek Cypriot village of Mammari which has been particularly hit by the U.N. ban. "The situation is explosive. It is not something we particularly like to do but unfortunately if the asparagus is found in the buffer zone the peacekeepers have to do their job, which is to regulate access to that part of the territory," a U.N. spokesman told Reuters. Plentiful rains ensured a bumper crop of "aggrelia" this year exacerbating the standoff between soldiers and the army of locals who flock to pick asparagus, which tied in green and red burgundy bunches, sells for up to four Euros at local markets. Asparagus harvesting has never been for the faint-hearted with pickers crawling into dense thorn bushes to pick the delicate shoots from the undergrowth…but throwing in armed soldiers takes it into the realm of extreme gardening. So when you go home tonight…and eat a fine meal of my one of my favorite dishes (and specialty), gently fried pork tenderloin in a creamy sauce with mushrooms over rice and/or asparagus spears, think about the Cypriots (sounds like a band of androids to me) who are quarreling and may not be able to eat such a bountiful feast. I hope this all ends peacefully…and quickly…because we don't need an asparagus shortage in this day & age.

Well, I'm off to rearrange the apartment a bit for the table coming in tomorrow...and I'll be watching Megan Fox tonight...in a movie. Have a great day everybody!!!