Monday, June 22, 2009

Happy Father's Day

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Well, there's a lot of good stuff to get to...but I just wanted to start with one of my predictions finally coming true...apparently back in January but without a whole lot of advertising. Well, about two years ago, I was feeling a little omnipotent (possibly drunk) and I made a few bold predictions...and on top of that list was the the TV cartoon series "Duckman" would be produced on DVD (like every other show out there) but it didn't appear as though that would be the case. Alas it was released about six months ago...and now I'm just waiting for a seven-and-a-half foot Chinese man to win the NBA MVP and the United States to elect its first Austrian-born cyborg President in 2012. Stay tuned...

Thursday night, I watched a few movies with a hint of royalty in them. First up was "The Other Boleyn Girl" starring Natalie Portman, Scarlett Johanssen and Eric Bana. Basically, it's an interpretation of the reign of King Henry VIII of England (Bana) and you know the story from the history books, were his wife wouldn't produce a male heir, so he cut England from the Catholic church, declared himself the Pope, divorced his wife, married Anne Boleyn (Portman), she had a girl named Elizabeth, he had her put to death, and so on. Well, it's that story...but with a little more drama and ambition and whatever else it takes to drag it out to two hours. Oh...and Mary Boleyn (Johanssen) is in it too, providing that essence of a 16th century regal catfight from time to time. It's okay...but I'd say pass...or read about it in a history book. I just seem to remember Henry VIII being like 400 pounds in the books & through the tour of the Tower of London...not Eric Bana...but hey, that's Hollywood. Next thing you know God will be played by Alanis Morissette. What's that? Dogma? Never heard of it.

Next was "The King of California" starring Evan Rachel Wood (it's a girl) and Michael Douglas. It's a story of a teenager (Wood) who has lived on her own for a few years because her mom left her a few years back...and her dad (Douglas) has been in a mental institution for two years. Great premise, right? Well, the dad is released and goes to live with her...and his crazy shenanigans lead her on an adventure to find lost Spanish gold...which they determine is buried under a Costco. Do they call off the adventure? Do they realize that it's crazy? Do they continue? Do she forgive him for being crazy? Who knows? Check out the flick if you want to know. The main point of this story is the crazy sh*t that we believe from our parents...because we trust them...and they're our parents. It's true. My dad, God bless him, has told me some doozies in his day (a LOT more back when he was a heavy drinker) and being a child & having complete trust in him, I believe a lot of it (to a certain extent) and even the stuff that I didn't believe, I went along with...because why shatter his reality. If he enjoys telling me these stories, I'll enjoy listening to them. "Did I tell you about the time before I met your mom...when I had to drive from Denver to San Francisco in a beautiful white '70 Dodge Challenger...in less than 18 hours? I was already pulling an all-nighter...but luckily I had enough speed to keep me awake & focused for that drive through all these small desert towns...and they were calling my every move on the radio...because it was a stolen car...but they were offering me a bunch of cash to get it there...and there was this naked biker chick near the Cali/Nevada border. Man, I had some real adventures back then." "That's awesome, dad. Wait, didn't we watch a movie like that last week called Vanishing Point?" "Yeah, they changed the name so that they didn't have to pay me money for my story...but sssh, don't tell anyone, okay?" "Okay daddy. I won't." "That reminds me of this time that me & a few of my buddies opened up this ghost extermination business..." Okay, so maybe they weren't quite that bad...but it's not that far of a stretch. Regardless, I kinda liked this flick...but it's not great by any means. It has its funny moments...but that may just be because I like hanging around crazy people...to a certain extent.

Friday night was the Smokey Robinson concert up at Red Butte Gardens with my mom & stepdad. They arrived later than scheduled...but luckily that was planned on...and after a quick stop by Arby's for dinner, we were on our way to the concert. We pitched a picnic blanket, opened a few bottles of Riesling, enjoyed the comedy stylings of...some guy who wasn't really that funny even with a buzz, and then...Smokey came out. A great time was had by all. The concert was great...and here are some pictures...
My Mama - Old as Motown, twice as sexy
SMOKEY!!!

Saturday morning, I went to Hogle Zoo with my mom, brother, my niece & nephew, and a bunch of other relatives. I heart the zoo, as you may know...and sure, Hogle Zoo is probably the worst that I've ever seen...but it's also the closest...and I got to see it with my family, so you can't really dog it much. Anyway, here are some pictures...
"Kitty!!!"
Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?
Admit it, you've tried it...
Vinny Love
First time in 28 years I've seen a croc move here...
(The other one's still stuffed)
This snake was HUGE!!! RIP Pita
Old Time Carousel (like there's any other kind)
Kairi Love - Future Guess Jeans model
Vinny Love - Future Calvin Klein model

After the zoo, my mom & brother basically kidnapped me (they didn't stop at my house & just got on the freeway) and took me to Ogden...to basically help watch my niece & nephew...and then entertain my brother for Father's Day. Now, I don't really have a problem hanging with my brother...since I know that nobody else would...but I had errands and stuff that I needed to do. Oh well, I guess they'll get done another time, right? I wish I could say that we did something fun & entertaining...but it was the usual time hanging with my brother. He played video games (including the new "Ghostbusters" one which is kinda cool) and basically I did nothing. My mom was even watching the kids...so yeah, nothing. All day. Not really as fun as it sounds. Oh...and I slept with Tink again. I know I said that I would stop...and kick that trifling vengeful pixie to the curb...but face it, you'd do the same thing. (Oh and for those who don't know, I slept in my niece's bed...and she has the whole Tinker Bell set...so that's how I slept with Tink...again, not nearly as fun as it sounds)

So because I was kidnapped all weekend, I still need to get my car registered, still have laundry to do, still have groceries to get, and I didn't even get to see my dad for Father's Day...but that'll all be taken care of shortly...and at least my brother didn't have to wallow in misery by his lonesome because his friends were all scared away by a trifling ex-wife who has gone off to...sigh, who really cares? My brother's not the greatest...but I really am proud of him. He's an amazing father and a few years ago, I never ever would have thought that I'd say that...but he really is. Sure, he has his flaws...but he'd do anything for those kids & that's what's important. I'm proud of anybody with the testicular fortitude to be a father...and sadly not everybody has those qualities. So a Big Shout-Out to all the Real Daddies out there...and for all the Single Moms out there too...because you deserve double Kudos. Have a great day everybody!!!

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