Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
Well, I've got a song stuck in my head this morning...and it's "Mister Sandman, bring me a dream..." and it very well may be that I got a bit of a doozy last night. (That or a nice remake on a movie I watched last night) It's a really odd one too...but not...well, allow me to elaborate...
The dream starts (at least what I remember) with me in a dirt parking lot getting out of my car (Brandy) and as I close my door, another car parks next to me...and a beautiful woman steps out. Now, not the usual big-breasted blonde fantasy or whatever that you might expect...but just a average sized & proportioned woman...and to be honest, I don't even recall a lot of features or anything. Anyway, she asks me "Excuse me, can you tell me where the Silverton Grill is?" "Yeah, it's that building right there on the corner" I find myself pointing at this little restaurant looking place next to a gas station...apparently in the middle of a desert because there was nothing else around but those two buildings and a lot of dirt and mud, "I'm actually headed over there myself. Mind if I walk with ya?" "Sure. Are you here for the interviews too?" "Yeah, sort of. I hear the owners of this place are real ballbusters." "Really?" "Yeah, it's a husband-wife thing...and the husband was a cop for a while...but then thought they had too many rules & regulations so he just became a gunsmith. The wife, she's an honest to God witch. Totally. She'll admit to it too. Don't piss her off or she'll put a hex on you. Why do you think they're having to hire new workers?" "Oh my gosh. I thought it was just a new restaurant. How do you know all of this stuff? Did you grow up here?" "Yeah, that...and they're my parents. Well, dad & stepmom. Hi, I'm $teve. I handle marketing and most of the numbers stuff." She's laughing, "Hi. (I noticed she didn't give her name) Oh my gosh, you really had me going. Is all that true?" "Sort of. He was a cop for a while...but it was tough on him so he changed careers...and she practices Wicca but she's not like the wicked witch of the West. She's actually one of the sweetest ladies you'll ever meet. They're both sweet actually." It was about this time where she tripped or something and fell sideways into a surprisingly deep mud puddle, like knee-high mud...but falling sideways, it pretty much got all of her. I immediately stepped in and helped her up...but she was just stunned...and there were some hillbillies (both male & female) hooting & hollering in a mocking manner (apparently it was a truck stop or something). "Alrighty, we goin' get some mud wrasslin' on now. Hyehyehye..." and the like. I was trying to put her at ease, "Don't worry. We've got lots of cleaning stuff in the restaurant and we'll get ya cleaned up." "Oh my gosh, there's no way I'm getting this job now." "Don't be so sure. Stuff like this happens...and there's still the interview, which your doing good on so far...and your resume." "OH SH*T!!!" She pulls a wet brown rectangular thing out of her purse that I can only assume was once an outstanding resume. "Lame. Well, no worries. Let's get you cleaned up. I don't suppose you brought a change of clothes or anything."
Then one of the hillbillies yelled out, "Hey buddy, is that your wife or sumthin'?" She looked up at me all doughy eyed...and I yelled to the guy, "Not yet." The guys instantly went, "OH!!! Whipped!!!" while the girls were all, "Oooooh..." and "That's so sweet. It's nice to hear a guy say not yet." What can I say? I'm a charmer...even in my dreams. Anyway, we get her inside and...the interior seems a lot bigger than it did from outside. Almost like I stepped into Dr Who's spaceship. It looked more like a brewery or something...which makes sense because if I was part of a restaurant, I'd want my own beer...but that's another story. We walk through this maze of stairs and hallways and...oddly enough, I run into a few people from my job in Denver (I know, crazy right?) but it was just in passing and eventually we make it to the restroom and I let her go in to clean up after making sure she has towels and a Tide stick (that's really all ya need for any stain) and then...well, that's really all I remember. I think I woke up at that point and was really thirsty. So yeah, there really wasn't any point to that dream...but considering what I watched before I went to bed, it could've been a lot worse.
What did I watch you may be asking (though probably not). Well, I finally watched the Rob Zombie-directed remake of "Halloween" starring Malcolm McDowell and the usual Zombie movie ensemble (Sheri Moon-Zombie, Williams Forsythe, Sid Haig, Ken Foree, etc). Basically it's the back-story to Michael Myers, the silent emotionless killing machine that has starred in like a dozen previous movies. It follows Michael from a disturbed ten-year old with foul-mouthed parent figures (Moon & Forsythe) and two sisters, one older & one infant. Well, he's also picked on at school and gets into trouble...and kills little animals. Then one day, he snaps...and kills his stepdad, his older sister, her boyfriend, a bully at school...and gets thrown in a sanitarium where a child psychiatrist (McDowell, so you know he's screwed) tries to help him. Well, he doesn't improve, the isolation causes him to sink deeper into the abyss, his mom kills herself...and fifteen years later, he's HUGE!!! He breaks out of the sanitarium...and now heads back home to go on a killing spree. Yeah, that's the story. It's actually quite intense...as most Rob Zombie movies are (along with a great classic rock soundtrack). It gets pretty bloody and gruesome at some points...but it's very well done for a horror flick...and there's a sequel coming out later this year...so stay tuned for that. A lot better than I was expecting honestly. Kudos Senor Zombie. Now for some news...
Grave Mistake - Three gravediggers and a cemetery manager unearthed hundreds of corpses from a historic black cemetery south of Chicago, dumping some in a weeded area and double-stacking others in existing graves, in an elaborate scheme to resell the plots, authorities said Thursday. All four were charged with felonies. Frantic relatives of the deceased descended on Burr Oak Cemetery — the final resting place of lynching victim Emmett Till (whose offense was allegedly whistling at a white woman in the 1950's) and blues singers Willie Dixon and Dinah Washington — in hopes someone could tell them their loved ones' remains were not among the pile of bones that littered a remote area of the property in Alsip, 12 miles south of Chicago. Some found apparently undisturbed plots, but others wandered, unable to locate loved ones. "This is a mess. We can't find our people," said Ralph Gunn, 54, of Chicago, who filled out a report for authorities after a futile search for the headstones of his brother and nephew. Others cried and clutched cemetery maps as they waited for a chance to look themselves. They listened as Sheriff Tom Dart said the displacement of bodies "was not done in a very delicate way," and that remains were dumped haphazardly, littered with shards of coffins. For graves stacked on top of each other, Dart said it appears they "pounded the other one down and put someone on top." A visibly shaken Rev. Jesse Jackson voiced the mounting anger at those who would toss the bones of the dead like trash. "In my judgment, there should be no bail for them, there should be really a special place in hell for these graveyard thieves who have done so much, hurt these families," he said. By late afternoon, orange flags marking grave sites that might have been disturbed could be seen throughout the 150-acre cemetery, where as many as 1,000 burials are held a year. Officials took phone numbers and told family members they would call within 72 hours. Dart said FBI agents would help sort through evidence and identify bodies and that it could be months before investigators fully understand what took place. "I feel betrayed and violated," said Gregory Mannie, 54, a Chicagoan with four relatives buried at Burr Oak. Mannie was particularly worried about his grandmother, whose grave is in a more secluded area he did not visit as often as the others. He grew suspicious when he saw it Thursday — it seemed too clean. "It's almost like killing them all over again," Mannie said. Truly a horrific story of trying to turn a quick buck. It's true, these guys probably shouldn't have bail for desecration like this. It's absolutely horrible. Then again, I hate to say it, they're probably not the only ones that have done this. I've often wondered how cemeteries with so many historic graves still have plots. It's fishy to say the least. Not to be offensive or anything...but it's kind of like waste facilities. I mean...they don't necessarily get bigger...but you know they get more put into them. I'm just saying, as appalling as all of this is, I wouldn't be surprised if it was occurring at others. That's all I'm saying. Also, I like the idea of the bodies just coming back to life in zombie form...and the four under prosecution were merely trying to save us from them. "You don't understand. They were going to attack the city. We saved Chicago!!! We've been doing this for years. We're the Nightwatchers. If it weren't for us, Obama would've never been President. He'd be a f**king zombie!!!" Can't you see this horrible movie? I could make it work. That's what I do. Take a tragedy like this and try to put a humorous spin on it. Sometimes it works.
Wow!!! Just...Wow!!! - A father and son are facing almost $20,000 in fees and fines after New York authorities said they removed about 42 TONS of trash from their property. Brookhaven Town officials said they took away tires, car parts, hoses and other trash — about 85,000 pounds in all — piled up on a residential lot in Mastic Beach on eastern Long Island. The site on Daisy Drive also has a single-family home, where John W. Mallgren and his son, John R. Mallgren, live. Authorities said the Mallgrens will have to pay $8,742 for removal of the trash, which filled 10 garbage trucks (not bags, TRUCKS!!!). They also face fines. The house was condemned last month. Neither Mallgren could immediately be reached for comment...as they were probably out searching other trash heaps for treasures like Ali Baba swords. So next time you feel like your house is messy, just keep these two in mind. Hmm, is it coincidence that there wasn't a Mrs. Mallgren there to incessantly nag them into cleaning up the 42 TONS of trash? I think not. By the way, any Fraggle Rock fans out there?
King Hippo Dies - Okay, so I just liked the excuse of putting up a picture with a reference to one of my favorite video games of all time...but it actually has nothing to do with this former heavyweight boxer. Actually, it's the conclusion to the story of a controversial man...and his beloved pet. Ironically & poetically, drug lord Pablo Escobar's hippo died the same way he did...hunted down and shot by the authorities for posing a danger to the public. The African-born hippopotamus that escaped three years ago from a ranch once owned by Escobar was killed on orders of the government, authorities said on Friday. Cocaine king Escobar, who was gunned down by police on a rooftop in the city of Medellin in 1993, was so flush with cash that he flew in hundreds of exotic animals, including kangaroos, flamingos, elephants, rhinos, and nine hippos (and Tony Montana only had a tiger). Many were given away to zoos after his death and collapse of his cartel...but two dozen hippos continued to live and mate on his former estate in northern Colombia. A male and a female escaped in 2006, freely roamed the wetlands near the Magdalena River and even reproduced in the wild (hot steamy jungle love). They were rarely seen and became something of a local legend until two journalists found them grazing 65 miles (100 km) away from the ranch last month. Colombia's environmental agency ordered the animals killed, saying they were carriers of disease and posed a risk to local communities. Colombians were shocked by television images broadcast on Friday of the carcass of the male hippopotamus surrounded by hunters and soldiers dressed in camouflage (sorry, for some reason I was thinking of Captain Ron, "Be careful, boss. There's gorillas in them woods"). Animal rights groups denounced the killing. "They could have been captured and kept in a safe place until a permanent refuge was found for them," said Marcela Ramirez of a local group called Animal Protection Network. The hunt was still on for the surviving adult hippo. "It was only a question of time before those animals hurt someone," Environment Minister Carlos Costa told reporters. "After more than two years of trying to capture them, the decision (to kill them) was a sound one." The slain hippo was known locally as "Pepe" and had recently sired a calf by his mate (more hot steamy jungle love), according to local fishermen who had caught glimpses of the three together. I just thought this was kind of a weird story that you would enjoy...mostly because the hippo died the same way as his owner...and I like the idea of a coked-up hungry hungry hippo being out of its element in the Amazon and being forced to eat monkeys or something. I'm a little weird.
Tonight, I'll be heading to the Puck to watch some UFC violence with a friend Angel that I haven't seen in...wow, about eight years. I think I only mentioned her once before on this blog back when I was bitchin' one Valentine's Day. So that should be exciting, right? I love violence. We shall see. Hope you're all having a great weekend!!!
Well, I've got a song stuck in my head this morning...and it's "Mister Sandman, bring me a dream..." and it very well may be that I got a bit of a doozy last night. (That or a nice remake on a movie I watched last night) It's a really odd one too...but not...well, allow me to elaborate...
The dream starts (at least what I remember) with me in a dirt parking lot getting out of my car (Brandy) and as I close my door, another car parks next to me...and a beautiful woman steps out. Now, not the usual big-breasted blonde fantasy or whatever that you might expect...but just a average sized & proportioned woman...and to be honest, I don't even recall a lot of features or anything. Anyway, she asks me "Excuse me, can you tell me where the Silverton Grill is?" "Yeah, it's that building right there on the corner" I find myself pointing at this little restaurant looking place next to a gas station...apparently in the middle of a desert because there was nothing else around but those two buildings and a lot of dirt and mud, "I'm actually headed over there myself. Mind if I walk with ya?" "Sure. Are you here for the interviews too?" "Yeah, sort of. I hear the owners of this place are real ballbusters." "Really?" "Yeah, it's a husband-wife thing...and the husband was a cop for a while...but then thought they had too many rules & regulations so he just became a gunsmith. The wife, she's an honest to God witch. Totally. She'll admit to it too. Don't piss her off or she'll put a hex on you. Why do you think they're having to hire new workers?" "Oh my gosh. I thought it was just a new restaurant. How do you know all of this stuff? Did you grow up here?" "Yeah, that...and they're my parents. Well, dad & stepmom. Hi, I'm $teve. I handle marketing and most of the numbers stuff." She's laughing, "Hi. (I noticed she didn't give her name) Oh my gosh, you really had me going. Is all that true?" "Sort of. He was a cop for a while...but it was tough on him so he changed careers...and she practices Wicca but she's not like the wicked witch of the West. She's actually one of the sweetest ladies you'll ever meet. They're both sweet actually." It was about this time where she tripped or something and fell sideways into a surprisingly deep mud puddle, like knee-high mud...but falling sideways, it pretty much got all of her. I immediately stepped in and helped her up...but she was just stunned...and there were some hillbillies (both male & female) hooting & hollering in a mocking manner (apparently it was a truck stop or something). "Alrighty, we goin' get some mud wrasslin' on now. Hyehyehye..." and the like. I was trying to put her at ease, "Don't worry. We've got lots of cleaning stuff in the restaurant and we'll get ya cleaned up." "Oh my gosh, there's no way I'm getting this job now." "Don't be so sure. Stuff like this happens...and there's still the interview, which your doing good on so far...and your resume." "OH SH*T!!!" She pulls a wet brown rectangular thing out of her purse that I can only assume was once an outstanding resume. "Lame. Well, no worries. Let's get you cleaned up. I don't suppose you brought a change of clothes or anything."
Then one of the hillbillies yelled out, "Hey buddy, is that your wife or sumthin'?" She looked up at me all doughy eyed...and I yelled to the guy, "Not yet." The guys instantly went, "OH!!! Whipped!!!" while the girls were all, "Oooooh..." and "That's so sweet. It's nice to hear a guy say not yet." What can I say? I'm a charmer...even in my dreams. Anyway, we get her inside and...the interior seems a lot bigger than it did from outside. Almost like I stepped into Dr Who's spaceship. It looked more like a brewery or something...which makes sense because if I was part of a restaurant, I'd want my own beer...but that's another story. We walk through this maze of stairs and hallways and...oddly enough, I run into a few people from my job in Denver (I know, crazy right?) but it was just in passing and eventually we make it to the restroom and I let her go in to clean up after making sure she has towels and a Tide stick (that's really all ya need for any stain) and then...well, that's really all I remember. I think I woke up at that point and was really thirsty. So yeah, there really wasn't any point to that dream...but considering what I watched before I went to bed, it could've been a lot worse.
What did I watch you may be asking (though probably not). Well, I finally watched the Rob Zombie-directed remake of "Halloween" starring Malcolm McDowell and the usual Zombie movie ensemble (Sheri Moon-Zombie, Williams Forsythe, Sid Haig, Ken Foree, etc). Basically it's the back-story to Michael Myers, the silent emotionless killing machine that has starred in like a dozen previous movies. It follows Michael from a disturbed ten-year old with foul-mouthed parent figures (Moon & Forsythe) and two sisters, one older & one infant. Well, he's also picked on at school and gets into trouble...and kills little animals. Then one day, he snaps...and kills his stepdad, his older sister, her boyfriend, a bully at school...and gets thrown in a sanitarium where a child psychiatrist (McDowell, so you know he's screwed) tries to help him. Well, he doesn't improve, the isolation causes him to sink deeper into the abyss, his mom kills herself...and fifteen years later, he's HUGE!!! He breaks out of the sanitarium...and now heads back home to go on a killing spree. Yeah, that's the story. It's actually quite intense...as most Rob Zombie movies are (along with a great classic rock soundtrack). It gets pretty bloody and gruesome at some points...but it's very well done for a horror flick...and there's a sequel coming out later this year...so stay tuned for that. A lot better than I was expecting honestly. Kudos Senor Zombie. Now for some news...
Grave Mistake - Three gravediggers and a cemetery manager unearthed hundreds of corpses from a historic black cemetery south of Chicago, dumping some in a weeded area and double-stacking others in existing graves, in an elaborate scheme to resell the plots, authorities said Thursday. All four were charged with felonies. Frantic relatives of the deceased descended on Burr Oak Cemetery — the final resting place of lynching victim Emmett Till (whose offense was allegedly whistling at a white woman in the 1950's) and blues singers Willie Dixon and Dinah Washington — in hopes someone could tell them their loved ones' remains were not among the pile of bones that littered a remote area of the property in Alsip, 12 miles south of Chicago. Some found apparently undisturbed plots, but others wandered, unable to locate loved ones. "This is a mess. We can't find our people," said Ralph Gunn, 54, of Chicago, who filled out a report for authorities after a futile search for the headstones of his brother and nephew. Others cried and clutched cemetery maps as they waited for a chance to look themselves. They listened as Sheriff Tom Dart said the displacement of bodies "was not done in a very delicate way," and that remains were dumped haphazardly, littered with shards of coffins. For graves stacked on top of each other, Dart said it appears they "pounded the other one down and put someone on top." A visibly shaken Rev. Jesse Jackson voiced the mounting anger at those who would toss the bones of the dead like trash. "In my judgment, there should be no bail for them, there should be really a special place in hell for these graveyard thieves who have done so much, hurt these families," he said. By late afternoon, orange flags marking grave sites that might have been disturbed could be seen throughout the 150-acre cemetery, where as many as 1,000 burials are held a year. Officials took phone numbers and told family members they would call within 72 hours. Dart said FBI agents would help sort through evidence and identify bodies and that it could be months before investigators fully understand what took place. "I feel betrayed and violated," said Gregory Mannie, 54, a Chicagoan with four relatives buried at Burr Oak. Mannie was particularly worried about his grandmother, whose grave is in a more secluded area he did not visit as often as the others. He grew suspicious when he saw it Thursday — it seemed too clean. "It's almost like killing them all over again," Mannie said. Truly a horrific story of trying to turn a quick buck. It's true, these guys probably shouldn't have bail for desecration like this. It's absolutely horrible. Then again, I hate to say it, they're probably not the only ones that have done this. I've often wondered how cemeteries with so many historic graves still have plots. It's fishy to say the least. Not to be offensive or anything...but it's kind of like waste facilities. I mean...they don't necessarily get bigger...but you know they get more put into them. I'm just saying, as appalling as all of this is, I wouldn't be surprised if it was occurring at others. That's all I'm saying. Also, I like the idea of the bodies just coming back to life in zombie form...and the four under prosecution were merely trying to save us from them. "You don't understand. They were going to attack the city. We saved Chicago!!! We've been doing this for years. We're the Nightwatchers. If it weren't for us, Obama would've never been President. He'd be a f**king zombie!!!" Can't you see this horrible movie? I could make it work. That's what I do. Take a tragedy like this and try to put a humorous spin on it. Sometimes it works.
Wow!!! Just...Wow!!! - A father and son are facing almost $20,000 in fees and fines after New York authorities said they removed about 42 TONS of trash from their property. Brookhaven Town officials said they took away tires, car parts, hoses and other trash — about 85,000 pounds in all — piled up on a residential lot in Mastic Beach on eastern Long Island. The site on Daisy Drive also has a single-family home, where John W. Mallgren and his son, John R. Mallgren, live. Authorities said the Mallgrens will have to pay $8,742 for removal of the trash, which filled 10 garbage trucks (not bags, TRUCKS!!!). They also face fines. The house was condemned last month. Neither Mallgren could immediately be reached for comment...as they were probably out searching other trash heaps for treasures like Ali Baba swords. So next time you feel like your house is messy, just keep these two in mind. Hmm, is it coincidence that there wasn't a Mrs. Mallgren there to incessantly nag them into cleaning up the 42 TONS of trash? I think not. By the way, any Fraggle Rock fans out there?
King Hippo Dies - Okay, so I just liked the excuse of putting up a picture with a reference to one of my favorite video games of all time...but it actually has nothing to do with this former heavyweight boxer. Actually, it's the conclusion to the story of a controversial man...and his beloved pet. Ironically & poetically, drug lord Pablo Escobar's hippo died the same way he did...hunted down and shot by the authorities for posing a danger to the public. The African-born hippopotamus that escaped three years ago from a ranch once owned by Escobar was killed on orders of the government, authorities said on Friday. Cocaine king Escobar, who was gunned down by police on a rooftop in the city of Medellin in 1993, was so flush with cash that he flew in hundreds of exotic animals, including kangaroos, flamingos, elephants, rhinos, and nine hippos (and Tony Montana only had a tiger). Many were given away to zoos after his death and collapse of his cartel...but two dozen hippos continued to live and mate on his former estate in northern Colombia. A male and a female escaped in 2006, freely roamed the wetlands near the Magdalena River and even reproduced in the wild (hot steamy jungle love). They were rarely seen and became something of a local legend until two journalists found them grazing 65 miles (100 km) away from the ranch last month. Colombia's environmental agency ordered the animals killed, saying they were carriers of disease and posed a risk to local communities. Colombians were shocked by television images broadcast on Friday of the carcass of the male hippopotamus surrounded by hunters and soldiers dressed in camouflage (sorry, for some reason I was thinking of Captain Ron, "Be careful, boss. There's gorillas in them woods"). Animal rights groups denounced the killing. "They could have been captured and kept in a safe place until a permanent refuge was found for them," said Marcela Ramirez of a local group called Animal Protection Network. The hunt was still on for the surviving adult hippo. "It was only a question of time before those animals hurt someone," Environment Minister Carlos Costa told reporters. "After more than two years of trying to capture them, the decision (to kill them) was a sound one." The slain hippo was known locally as "Pepe" and had recently sired a calf by his mate (more hot steamy jungle love), according to local fishermen who had caught glimpses of the three together. I just thought this was kind of a weird story that you would enjoy...mostly because the hippo died the same way as his owner...and I like the idea of a coked-up hungry hungry hippo being out of its element in the Amazon and being forced to eat monkeys or something. I'm a little weird.Tonight, I'll be heading to the Puck to watch some UFC violence with a friend Angel that I haven't seen in...wow, about eight years. I think I only mentioned her once before on this blog back when I was bitchin' one Valentine's Day. So that should be exciting, right? I love violence. We shall see. Hope you're all having a great weekend!!!
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