Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Interview Today

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

I have an interview with the former employers later today…and I expect it to go very well. I think they're having a hard time finding somebody that I don't know personally and have yet to get drunk & partied with to conduct the interview…and that is a mighty feat in that area. Also, you know how I love to shine in interviews...and make an ass of myself...and pull great interviews out of my rear pocket on a moment's notice. I'll let you know how it goes. On that note, earlier this morning, I broke the news (though everybody already knew) about my plans for the coming weeks at our morning meeting…and I thanked them for the opportunity to work with them, learn about the industry and the city, and basically just being the best group of people that you could really hope to work with. They really are a wealth of personality, knowledge, caring, and just a great bunch of people and I'm going to sorely miss them…but I'm sure I'll get over it. Just kiddin', great group of people…and I'm sad to leave…but apparently there's another chapter about to unfold in the life of $teve, so I have to be ready for that. Hopefully it's a good, exciting read…with occasional nudity…and maybe a car chase or explosion or something. I guess I'm just hoping for some Action…in whatever connotation. Here's some news...


Slick City Madness - Here's some action craziness that I may be going back to. Police said a customer fired one or two shots into a Salt Lake City McDonald's after the driver of the car he was in was told the restaurant was not serving lunch yet. Police said the female driver of a white Dodge Intrepid pulled up to the drive-thru and ordered from the lunch menu early Sunday but was told only breakfast was available. Police said two men then got out of the car and one pulled a sawed-off shotgun from the trunk, shooting into the drive-thru window once or twice. The car then left the scene. No one was injured. Nice, even our fast food service jobs aren't safe anymore. Last week, a situation arose where police had an easy time catching a man suspected of driving under the influence. He was waiting for them in his car, where they said he was passed out in the driver's seat in the drive-thru at a fast food restaurant. According to police, another customer found the Houston man unconscious at the drive-thru around 3 a.m. Thursday. The other customer took the keys out of the ignition and called police, who arrested the man on suspicion of driving under the influence. Police said the man passed out because of a combination of alcohol and prescription drugs. Drunk driving? Drugs? Drivebys in the Drive-thru? Dang, Utah's changed a lot since I worked there. It's almost like…Vegas. Okay, maybe that's a little bold…but still. I'm glad that I'm learning to cook at home more. This fast food stuff is unhealthy…and apparently dangerous. Maybe I should just avoid driving all together...


Perfect Running Pace - Most regular runners can tell you when they reach that perfect equilibrium of speed and comfort. The legs are loose, the heart is pumping and it feels like you could run at this pace forever (wonder what that's like). Researchers at the University of Wisconsin-Madison now have an explanation for this state of running nirvana, and we can thank our ancestors and some evolutionary biology for it. For years, it has been thought that humans have a constant metabolic energy rate. It was assumed that you would require the same total energy to run one mile, no matter if you ran it in 5 minutes or 10 minutes. Even though your energy burn rate would be higher at faster speeds, you would get there in half the time. Turns out, however, that each person has an optimal running pace that uses the least amount of oxygen to cover a given distance. The findings, by Karen Steudel, a zoology professor at Wisconsin, and Cara Wall-Scheffler of Seattle Pacific University, are detailed in latest online edition of the Journal of Human Evolution. Steudel's team tested both male and female runners at six different speeds on a treadmill while measuring their oxygen intake and carbon dioxide output. As expected, each runner had different levels of fitness and oxygen use but there were ideal speeds for each runner that required the least amount of energy. Overall, the optimal speeds for the group were about 8.3 mph (about a 7:13 minutes per mile) for males and 6.5 mph (9:08 min/mile) for females. The most interesting finding: At slower speeds, about 4.5 mph (13 min/mile), the metabolic efficiency was at its lowest. Steudel explains that at this speed, halfway between a walk and a jog, the runner's gait can be awkward and unnatural. "What that means is that there is an optimal speed that will get you there the cheapest," Steudel says. So, why is a zoology professor studying running efficiency? Steudel's previous work has tried to build a theory of why our early ancestors evolved from moving on four limbs to two limbs, also known as bipedalism. She has found that human walking is a more efficient method of getting from point A to point B than on all fours. It might also have been an advantage for hunting. This latest research could offer some more clues of how we moved on to running. Steudel explains, "This is a piece in the question of whether walking or running was more important in the evolution of the body form of the genus Homo." (What did you just call me?) So there you go. Maybe next time at the gym, instead of briskly walking along at 4.5 mph, you run it on up to 8.3 and get the better burn for your run…and maybe impress a few people along the way…and not just with the hypnotic bouncing. You'll know it's working by your steady heart rate…and the amount of guys who fall off their treadmills by "losing focus" on their workout.


Parisian Pole Vaulter - A French pole vaulting champion has run naked with his pole (poles?) through the streets of Paris and posted the video on the Internet, hoping to draw attention to his quest for a new sponsorship deal. Romain Mesnil, who won a silver medal at the 2007 Athletics World Championships in Osaka, used to be sponsored by U.S. sports brand Nike but says his contract expired last year and was not renewed. "It was probably for budgetary and strategic reasons. It's the crisis," he wrote on his website. Many athletes have reported difficulties obtaining corporate sponsorship as companies cut costs because of the global economic downturn. In his video, Mesnil runs with his pole as if preparing for a vault at tourist spots like Montmartre and the Pont des Arts across the River Seine. A black square has been added to the footage to cover his private parts (awww, I know, right?). The video has succeeded in drawing attention to Mesnil's plight, at least in France. It was broadcast on primetime state television news bulletins (God, I love French news, there's always a chance of nudity…and even if you have no idea what the newscaster is saying, she's speaking French). So if you have a few bucks to spare…and are looking for an Olympic caliber athlete to sponsor…then please, sponsor me…or maybe this guy. I mean…US basketball doesn't really need my help to win the Gold again…so I'm willing to sacrifice so that France doesn't have to lose everything all the time. I love an underdog. Good luck, Monsieur Mesnil.


Lingerie Update - Whether you're a g-string girl or prefer granny-style knickers, a Japanese lingerie maker is inviting women to liberate themselves from conventional, body-hugging underwear and don loincloths instead. Loincloths, called "fundoshi" in Japanese, were worn by adult men in the past, but they are now a rarity. Kyoto-based lingerie firm Wacoal, however, has brought them back into fashion, this time for women seeking "emancipation" from the tightness of conventional underwear. "We wanted young women to have a more sense of freedom and release. And as we tried to come up with the ultimate liberation item for women, we thought of a fundoshi," said Tomoka Okamura, merchandise director for Wacoal's Nanafun female loincloths. The loincloths for women come in seven different colors and two designs (plain and checkered). Prices are about 1,260 yen ($13). Wacoal has sold more than 5,000 since December, three times more than it had expected, officials said, and the company now plans to start selling them in Hong Kong, Taiwan and Singapore. "It's easy to wear and is quite nice. It's also good for summer. And since it's getting warmer, I figured it would be good for that," said Hiromi Iwamura, a 28-year-old shopper who was buying a patterned loincloth and matching bra. So there you go ladies. Like the feel and flow of air through boxers (or going commando)? I know I do. Well, here's one alternative…as opposed to going and getting boxers or something here in the states…but still, promoting the new angle. I'm all about that. "But $teve, what if my man likes me in a G-string and tight silky underwear?" If you're comfortable with it, I say go with it…but if not, then I'm pretty sure your man wouldn't mind you coming in with a loincloth on. Besides, it's not important how you look in your undergarments…as long as they keep your ankles warm. Oh…and if your man doesn't like it, come see Dr Love. He knows how to make you feel comfortable…and a little dirty all at the same time.


Anyway, that'll do it for today. Stay tuned for updates on the future adventures of Dr Love and his band of merry men (who all live inside his head). I wanna take this time to say thank you to everybody out there who has been worried about me and concerned with my well-being during this whole job thing…and it's greatly appreciated…but please don't fret over me. I'll be fine. Great things are going to happen. I have absolute confidence in that. I just can't wait to see you all again…wherever I may call home in the next month or so. Have a great day everybody!!!

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