Monday, April 20, 2009

Got It Bad, Got It Bad, Got It Baaaad

Good Morning Ladies & Gentlemen,

The act of stuffing boxes is going splendidly. I'm pretty much done...except for half my clothes, towels, blankets, half my kitchenware & my entertainment center (have to do something the next few days). So yeah, I'll finish up a lot of that today...and the rest when I come back from Utah, then my brother can help me take apart the bedroom set. Speaking of which, my mom cosigned on him for a 2007 Dodge Magnum the other day. Man, wouldn't it be nice to have a new car? I should have my mom buy me one too. Just kiddin' bro, I know you're gonna make the payments. It's a sweet ride...and it's good for the kids to have a dependable car.

On a sad note, I was also informed that apparently entrusting my mother with my car Baby (restored 1969 Pontiac Lemans) was a stupid f**king mistake. Remember when I went for Christmas & instead of being put in the shed to protect it from the elements as was promised, it was under three feet of snow? Well, apparently it stayed there...and she tried digging it out...and ended up scraping the paint pretty good...and the body work was damaged under the pressure of having up to five feet of the greatest powder on Earth on top of it...so yeah, based on her description, I probably should've just left it parked in the middle of the Nevada desert instead...but she loves me...so I guess it's okay. No matter. I know she'll fix it. Right, mom? So yeah, little angry about that...but whatever. I've got other stuff on my mind right now...and not the usual Hollywood hotties and basketball and Pandas...well, okay maybe a little bit about Pandas...

Panda Update - China will start building a new giant panda breeding centre as early as next month after last year's 8.0-magnitude earthquake destroyed much of their habitat, according to state media. The new centre in the Wolong nature reserve will replace a destroyed base in southwestern Sichuan province where most of China's captive pandas were kept before the earthquake. Huang Jianhua, the reserve's Communist party chief said a new location about 10 kilometres (six miles) from the old site was chosen "because the environment, water, weather and geological situations here are the best. The pandas will be comfortable living here as it is not far from the former base. Safety is the priority." The new centre will cost 1.6 billion yuan ($230 million) with most of the funding coming from Hong Kong. Five Wolong staff and one panda were killed in the May 12 earthquake, while two pandas were injured and one is still missing (presumed training to exact his revenge). Most of the reserve's pandas were moved after the quake to a nearby breeding centre in Ya'an City and zoos around the country. Six 18-month-old pandas stayed in prefabricated houses on the reserve, the report said. Wolong was built in 1980, as the world's largest breeding centre for the endangered species and was home to 142 captive pandas, about 60 percent of the world's total. You know, I was thinking the other day during my Happy Hour (after about four beers) what my legacy would be...and as of right now, it's basically the creator of Panda Porn. Oh yeah, I'm still claiming to be the inventor...because I invented it...and luckily told the people at the research center when I was there nearly four years ago...and so as long as Pandas are around, I'll feel like I've done something of worth...even if I won't officially get the credit. I mean...other than that, what would my legacy be? Besides sexiest man alive? That'll change when I'm gone. Then I'll just be the sexiest man dead.

My Kind of Teacher - A school spokesman said a southwest Ohio teacher has resigned after acknowledging she accompanied four female students to a male strip club. Butler Tech school district spokesman Bill Solazzo said the 47-year-old teacher resigned Thursday. He said the teacher told Edgewood High School administrators that the students, all cheerleaders, asked her to take them to the bar in February. The teacher told school officials in an e-mail that she got permission from the parents of the 17- and 18-year-olds to bring them to the club. The teacher taught marketing at the school and previously served as a coach for the district's eighth-grade cheerleaders. So the Marketing teachers...took four cornfed Midwestern cheerleaders...to a strip club? Awesome. I'm assuming that she resigned so that she could get a job that pays better & wouldn't give her a hard time about going to the local Chippendale's show. I also saw something on the Daily Show about a teacher posing in Playboy. Why weren't any of my teachers cool like that? Well, there was the one at my school that got in trouble for offering extra credit to some of the female students...but I didn't know him. I had to find out in the paper after I graduated. We could've been hanging out at strip clubs for years. Oh well. I guess it just wasn't meant to be.

I also watched "Harold & Maude" for the first time. Now, I had heard that this was apparently one of the greatest romance movies of all time...so that immediately had me tune it out as a chick flick that I normally wouldn't watch unless in a romantic situation or with a large amount of eye candy on-screen. This was neither situation...but the story sounded interesting. Basically it's about a young boy in a well-to-do family who is just depressed and disenchanted with life. He's faked suicide over a dozen times just to get a rise out of his mother...and apparently it doesn't work. He goes to funerals in his free time...and it was at one of these that he meets Maude, a 79-year old woman who also attendes funerals in her free time...and is just crazy but charming at the same time. Well, they start to hang out and go on wild adventures and basically...they fall in love with each other. Yes, there's like a 60 year difference in ages...but Love knows no age. Anyway, check it out. It's funny, touching, and let's face it, you don't have anything better to do. Well, YOU probably do...but I don't...but still, give it a shot. You might really enjoy it. I personally enjoyed it because...well, I personified with it a bit. There was a time some years ago when I was...pretty much disenchanted with life. Everything just seemed so routine to me, I had never really had a girlfriend, school sucked...but I was good at it, I was really shy and had low self-esteem, and I realized that I probably wasn't going to be in the NBA, so my dream was shattered. Well, it was about that time that I met a wonderful young lady (granted not in her late seventies...but actually late teens) who was just a ball of energy, sweet & perky, found pleasure in the simplest things, and most importantly...thought that I was just about the coolest cat in all creation. Well, it basically changed me to what I am today...and even though she went away to have her own life elsewhere, I still remember those days sometimes and just think, "It all happens for a reason" and realizing all the little great things that happen every day...and all the big great things that happen every day...and everything in between...and it's pretty f**king awesome.

What was my point? Oh yeah, watch Harold & Maude. You'll love it. And thanks to everybody out there for making me feel like the Luckiest Man in the World even when I'm going through a bit of an awkward time right now. Speaking of which, I should get back to finishing up packing & arranging for a moving van. Have a great day everybody!!!

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