It's my day off...and I well deserved one if I say so myself. Cleaned up the apartment good for the first time in about a month (really since my latest Vegas trip), soaked up some rays and swam some laps in the pool, got a haircut, you know...little things that needed to be done. You know, sometimes I think that I should try a new haircut or something...but I'm entirely too lazy to put effort into it...so it stays the same. I think it looks alright...but hey, what do I know? Anyway, I do know how to make fun of the news...so here it goes...
Machete Update - Okay, so a few weeks ago I told you that the upcoming Robert Rodriguez flick "Machete" may star Robert DeNiro as a senator. Well, here's the latest list of actors to sign on to the flick...and it's impressive and ripe for parody. Production on the Mexican vigilante action/comedy began this week with Danny Trejo as the titular hero. Joining him will be an impressive line-up of big names according to The Examiner. Officially on the cast list are the aforementioned De Niro, Jessica Alba ("Sin City"), Michelle Rodriguez ("Lost"), Steven Seagal (a lot of really sh*tty action movies), Lindsay Lohan (old friend of the blog), Jeff Fahey ("Lawnmower Man"), and the reuniting of Cheech Marin & Don Johnson ("Nash Bridges"). So yeah, try to imagine the most ridiculous, Grindhouse-inspired action-comedy possible...and then throw in Lindsay Lohan. You may have a clue of what's coming. I honestly can't wait. It's like "The Nightman Cometh" but playing at a theater near me. Awesome. Just because I can...here's the preview for "Machete" once again...and my guess, Lohan plays the daughter. You'll see what I mean. "Where are my wife & daughter?"
Achtung Baby!!! - Now that I have your attention by flashing the Chancellor of the Bundesrepublik Deutschland's bosom on your computer screen, I'd like to talk to you about our Lord & Savior Jesus Christ. Okay, I really don't...but don't you think missionaries would have a better reception at your front door if they were accompanied by something more aesthetically pleasing? Me too. Anyway, with seven weeks to go until German elections, billboards of Chancellor Angela Merkel sporting a very revealing low-cut dress have pepped up a campaign that has so far struggled to grab public attention. The election placards have been put up by Vera Lengsfeld, from Merkel's conservative CDU party, who is running in a long-shot race in a left-wing district of Berlin for a parliamentary seat in the September 27 poll. They show photographs of each woman in an evening dress showing plenty of cleavage with the slogan: "We have more to offer" emblazoned over the chancellor's breasts. Lengsfeld, a former East German dissident, said she had not cleared the picture beforehand with Merkel (who is 55 years young) telling rolling news channel N24: "The chancellor could never have allowed me to do this, otherwise everyone would have wanted to do it." The 57-year-old candidate has hung 750 posters in her district and local media have reported a few stolen as souvenirs (yeah, souvenirs). Lengsfeld said over 17,000 people had visited her election blog since she shot into the public eye (Oh my! Usually you warn them first). "If only a tenth of them also look at the content of my policies, I will have reached many more people than I could have done with classic street canvassing." She will have her work cut out, however, to transform the limelight into success at the ballot box against a popular Green party veteran. Meanwhile the women's arm of the CDU chided Lengsfeld for an outdated "sex sells" campaign: "We don't need to do things like this anymore," its head, Maria Boehmer, told a news conference. A CDU spokesman was tight-lipped, saying only that the party's central office was "not notified". On Lengsfeld's blog, opinion was sharply divided but the campaign had certainly aroused debate, with over 300 comments. "Witty, cheeky and funny," said "Alex." But "Lena" said the placards were "embarrassing and shameful. How deeply sad that a woman has to attract attention with her breasts because she is incapable of clever words and thoughts." Daniel Baltar asked: "Have you gone completely mad?" Lengsfeld herself said she did not understand the fuss. "I find it amazing how little humor some people have shown over this placard. People always complain election posters are boring and then as soon as someone does something different, people get annoyed." The famous photo of Merkel's cleavage, taken at the opening of the Oslo Opera House in April 2008, prompted headlines such as "Merkel's Weapons of Mass Destruction" from British tabloid the Daily Mail and "Deutschland boober alles" from media gossip website Gawker (tehehe, very clever). It was not the first time images of Merkel (named by Forbes magazine as the most powerful woman on the planet three years in a row, take THAT Hillary) made waves. In 2006, another British tabloid, the Sun, snapped her changing into a bathing suit while on holiday in Italy under the headline "Big in the Bum-destag", a reference to the Bundestag, Germany's lower house of parliament (not nearly as clever). This April, the unusual sight of a giant mocked-up photo of Merkel in a matching purple bra and knicker set greeted punters on Berlin's famous Ku'damm shopping street as part of an underwear advertising campaign. Seriously? Germany, you should be ashamed. We would never have pictures of our President Obama in a swimsuit plastered on every tabloid under the sun. That's as ridiculous as questioning whether or not he's an American citizen. Also, how DARE you call the "sex sells" campaign outdated? Maybe the people behind it are outdated but the theory is sound. Anyway, just thought you all might like to know...and Chancellor Merkel, I apologize for the exploitation of your image...and nice knockers by the way. You don't look a day over zwei-und-vierzig.
Panda Updates - Praifa Srihakhom, a child from Sakhon Nakhon in Thailand won the 1-million-baht prize in the competition to name Bangkok's Chiang Mai Zoo's panda cub on Monday, just as the zoo revealed it would set up Facebook and Twitter sites for fans of the little panda. About twenty-two million postcard-votes were sent in, with the name Lin Ping (Chinese for "Winter Forest") proving most popular with 13.2 million votes, followed by Kwan Thai at 3.9 million, Thai Chin at 2.9 million and Ying Ying at two million votes. Then came Monday's prize draw, which was presided over by Natural Resources and Environment Minister Suwit Khunkitti. Wanon Niwat district resident Maliwan Pilasri, 57, whose granddaughter Praifa won the big prize, said she bought eight panda postcards worth 40 baht for Praifa. After hearing the news that one had been picked out, the family has been celebrating along with neighbors, said Maliwan, adding that some of the money would be kept to pay for Praifa's education and to make merit. Prasertsak Boontrakulpoon-thawee (Gesundheit!), chief of the panda research project, reported Monday that Lin Ping frequently touched its mother Lin Hui's face, which suggested the cub's eyesight was good, and had also started feeding at regular hours. That's nice...but there's even more interesting "news"
China is to retrace the steps of the French missionary who made giant pandas known to the West to mark the 140th anniversary of their "discovery" by the outside world, state media said Tuesday. Pandas were virtually unknown outside China until 1869 when Pere Jean Pierre Armand David (five first names by my count) described one which had been shot by hunters in Ya'an, Sichuan province, triggering more than a century of untiring fascination with the black and white bears. Panda enthusiasts can join a 350-kilometre (220-mile) hike from the Sichuan capital Chengdu to Ya'an to follow in the footsteps of the Catholic missionary and naturalist to educate people about the endangered animals and their protection, Ya'an tourism official Li Yamei told Xinhua news agency. The group would depart on August 15th and was expected to arrive at the giant panda research centre in Ya'an on August 25th. The pandas were moved there temporarily while a new breeding centre is built after the main Wolong research centre was largely destroyed in last year's Sichuan earthquake. A festival featuring more than 40 films on pandas (WHAT?) and other wildlife would also open on August 19th in Ya'an as part of the anniversary activities. There are about 1,590 pandas living in the wild around the country, mostly in Sichuan and the northern Shaanxi and northwestern Gansu provinces. A total of 180 have being bred in captivity, Xinhua reported. Besides introducing the giant panda to the outside world, Pere David also found the deer species named after him, which now only exists in captivity. Hmm, interesting tale. European explorer discovers a new species on the other side of the planet...and about a hundred years later they're endangered and mainly kept in captivity on small areas of land away from major cities. Oh that reminds me, Columbus Day's coming up soon. Anyway, that's your Panda Update. Sorry to get off track there for a bit.That should do it for today. I'd better get some dinner cooked up for tonight. I like having a little free time to experiment with my cuisine. I can get those culinary abortions out of the way before I try to impress a ladyfriend. "I don't know what I was thinking by combining bacon, blue cheese and chocolate wrapped in a fruit roll-up. Some great things just aren't meant to be together." Okay, nothing quite that bad...but you get the idea. Have a great day everybody!!!
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