Friday, March 29, 2013

On Batman (and how he could do better)

Batman is basically a guy with no superpowers, but is very smart and well trained in fighting, and has the money to buy a ton of equipment. He uses his tough body (damn that sounds gay) to go around subduing outlandish villains and petty thugs with non-lethal force.



I will just post this pic to illustrate the trouble Christian Bale went through to get a body that can whack some bad guys.

The question is, if he has such intellect and money, why would he use hand to hand combat as the FIRST instead of the LAST resort? Someone said that if Batman was really smart, he'd be Ironman, and I find that quite true. Even without ascending to such heights of technological prowess, a simple tranquilizer gun would help him aplenty in taking down villains without killing them. Tasers would do fine too.

Instead he has to go and get himself hurt here and there. He isn't even that invincible, I remember a few common bad guys gave him some difficulty, as did the Joker's dogs. Surely tranquilizer darts, or a gun that fires nets would have helped him tremendously in both those scenarios.

Maybe the reason he uses his fists is that it makes him look cool. Since he is a billionaire, and they may not have much better things to do, it makes sense now. After all what do those rich people buy yachts for? To make them look glamorous, am I right?

The only answer that makes sense is that Batman spent a lot of money training to be a ninja, so now he doesn't want this training to go to waste, and wants to look impossibly cool in the bargain. So how does he beat up so many people without tiring out?

Easy. He pays them to pretend to be bad people. That's why villains in Batman all dress and behave in very eccentric ways - it's so that Batman looks even more awesome in comparison. The solution to everything is clear now.

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