Sunday, August 30, 2009

Friday Night Fights

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Friday night after work, was Fight Night!!! Remember my friend Angel? I think I mentioned her once or twice. Well, her husband is a mixed martial arts fighter with UCE, which is kinda the semi-pro of UFC...and by semi-pro I mean I think he makes about $50 per fight...but hey, it's fighting and these guys really train for this stuff...and it's about as close to underground Muay Thai kickboxing as I'm going to get in Utah...and just a block from my house. Angel hooked me up with the VIP treatment and I actually sat with some of her family, meeting them for the first time. Also, the seats were perfect for me...directly between the cage...and the bar...and the waitresses were HOT and wearing corsets so...yeah, good times. Though the five fights were under four minutes of action COMBINED, it was still a lot of fun. Highlight of the night: Angel stepping into the ring for the big glove girlfight. Here are some pictures...


"Wanna free T-shirt?"

The REAL Main Event

"You look like a Holocaust victim in pageant makeup"

"I'LL EAT YOUR BABIES, B**CH!!!"

Catfights - Everybody's a Winner

Slammin' Dan wins once again

After that, I went to hang with my brother because...well, as you know, his wife is a complete (expletive) and leaving (again) but, fingers crossed, this time it may actually stick. I know that sounds like a horrible thing to say...because you know how much I wanted it to work out for the kids...and how big of a fan of Love that I am...but there just comes a point in some relationships where you just realize that you have to call it off. Obviously they're still going to be around each other whether they want to or not for the next twenty years minimum because of the kids...but hopefully this will allow them both to move on. Anyway, long story short, I basically spent all day Saturday with him, helping him to pack up her stuff so that she could come & pick it up quickly and be gone. Nothing really out of the ordinary other than my brother was taking it a little hard...and combined with my mom being...well, my mom and not being able to keep her mouth shut for more than three seconds...that led to a few snaps of loud conversation...but hey, that's what family's for. To consistently remind you of your mistakes so that you don't repeat them. That...is what a family's for, right? Right? Anyway, yesterday kinda sucked...but whatever. Hopefully she stays out.

Today, I went to see "G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra" with my dad...and it was okay. Exactly what you would expect from a movie based on an 80's cartoon. Not too concerned with plot or the laws of physics or anything...but a lot of action, eye candy and throwbacks to what made it likeable as a cartoon...just with real life grownups playing the parts...like my doppleganger Dennis Quaid. I don't really have much to say about this movie other than...it is exactly what you would expect...but still pretty good to check out if action movies are your thing. I know this isn't exactly a spoiler...but they're already planning the sequels. Now here's the news...

Chinese Basketball Controversy - A bizarre row over a player's height caused a Chinese basketball game to be abandoned and sparked violent scenes that left several cars destroyed in Guangdong earlier this week, local media reported Thursday. The Dream Basketball League was set up to allow players of "shorter" stature to compete on a level playing field, with a height limit of 6 feet-2 inches (1.88m) imposed. Basketball players are some of the tallest athletes in sport and China's own Yao Ming measures 7-foot-6 (which is still funny to me that the tallest guy in the NBA is from China). However, trouble was brewing when Huizhou Qiaoxing signed Chinese Basketball Association player and three-time national 'slam dunk' champion Hu Guang, even though his official CBA profile lists him as 1.95m (a towering 6-foot-4). Huizhou's opponents in a game scheduled for Monday, Shenzhen Kuruite, refused to take to the court unless he was measured but league organizers refused. Shenzhen forfeited the game but kept up their complaints the following day and the league finally agreed to take the tape to the 27-year-old forward. "Hu bowed his shoulders and bent his neck back," Shenzhen player Wang Tiecheng told local newspaper the Daily Sunshine. "The first result was 186.5cm, the second time was 187cm." League officials, who admitted they had "limited ability and technique in measuring," nevertheless declared Hu eligible for Tuesday's "monthly final" against Zheshang Bank. Furious Shenzhen fans disrupted the final by continually chanting: "Unfair, Too tall! (in Mandarin, I assume)" and the game, which was being broadcast live on television, was abandoned at halftime. Other spectators, upset that the game had been stopped, then smashed up five cars with Shenzhen number plates outside the Dongguan's Huangyong Arena, the Guangzhou Daily reported. See? Philly fans aren't the only ones passionate about the sport. This actually contradicts one stereotype that I had, even though I spent a month in China. I was absolutely certain that they were strict sticklers when it came to the rules. That's why when I watch the Olympics, I don't mind that some of the judging seems fixed or care how the athletes are trained from birth for one purpose...and that's to do a triple lutz or an iron cross on the rings or whatever or what kind of performance enhancing drugs they're being doped up with or how old or young they are or whatever...because I had a feeling deep down in my heart...that if they didn't do well, they'd probably be executed. Now, it may not be that extreme. Maybe it's just sort of an exile into the desolate high plateaus or something...but I always thought there were strict consequences for breaking the rules...but apparently when it's merely a national league for the "vertically challenged" then the rules are about as flexible as one of their acrobats (and believe me, they are flexible). It's somewhat reassuring.

Curvy Girls Are Hot - Crystal Renn was miserable as a super-thin model who had heart palpitations when she'd worry that there might be calories in Diet Coke. Her moment of epiphany came when "I couldn't walk another step without being exhausted, or having hair clumps falling out." She knew she needed to live in the body she was supposed to have...specifically a sultry, curvy size 12. In a new memoir "Hungry," Renn, now a plus-size model, exposes her struggles with weight, health and self-esteem, fueled by the industry she says she still loves. That is, she loves it now that she has been accepted by the fashion world. "I got to my lowest point, when I couldn't go lower, and it was either, `I'm going to die and not accomplish the dream,' or, `I can become a plus-size model and keep the dream,'" she said in an interview. "I am healthy now, the healthiest I've ever been in my life — both physically and mentally." Writing "Hungry" with Marjorie Ingall for Simon & Schuster was an important part of the healing process, said the 23-year-old Renn. She had told her story before, but always in a quick hit for some magazine celebrating the novelty of an hourglass shape on its pages. The book is her attempt to move the needle on how people — everyone from wide-eyed young girls to jaded fashion insiders — perceive beauty. "I'd like to see everyone take on the attitude that there are women of all different shapes and sizes as `the beauty ideal,' and that it's not one type or another. There are women who are naturally a size 2 — you can't forget them, and that's discrimination the other way. All women bring something different to the table and we have to appreciate them all." Some in the fashion, modeling and magazine industries have been receptive to the idea, she said, noting that she's still working with her fuller figure in Vogue, Glamour, on the runway with Jean Paul Gaultier and in ads for Dolce & Gabbana. It's often not the typical "pretty girl" who makes the biggest splash anyway, she said, explaining that when a modeling scout first laid eyes on her as a chubby cheerleader, he was the only person other than her mother who said she was beautiful (Really? Really, ladies?). Still, Renn is not ready to declare that runways will be filled with curvy types anytime soon (unfortunately). "I believe there is a cycle to everything — Wall Street, the housing market, and modeling, too. Back in the Victorian days, it was all about a full figure, in the '50s, it was about the boobs (still is), in the '80s it was shoulders and in the '90s it was waifs (wait, isn't a waif like a starving vagabond?). It can only go up from here." Fashion alone isn't to blame for the idea of carbon-copy beauty, nor is it to blame for all the girls out there with eating disorders, Renn said (the Media helps). But she added that fashion does help create the lens through which others, like the chubby cheerleader she was in Clinton, Mississippi, see themselves. In hindsight, however, she cringes at her early modeling photos, as she focuses on the graying skin and lifeless eyes. Once she joined the "12+" group at Ford Models, Renn said she finally started seeing images of the young woman she knew she was meant to be. (On the day she decided to switch gears of her career, she celebrated with a salad with salmon and nuts on it. It was, she wrote, a really big deal.) Renn has taken her mind off 24-7 dieting and is more involved in the lives of her friends and family, she said. Flashes of fears about her thighs — the bane of her skinny-model time of her life — still cross her mind, but she has learned to get over them quickly: She'll find her "positives" to distract her. "I love my cheekbones. I highlight them," she said. "I also love my eyebrows. I have good thick healthy hair — and that shows how far I've come."


I love these stories. Women who know they're beautiful. I wish there were more stories like them...or rather, more women like Crystal. Ladies, you're beautiful. If you ever need reassurance, give me a call, leave me a text, write me an email, hit me up on Facebook, stop by the crib, leave a comment, visit me in a dream, do whatever you need to do to get a hold of me (not difficult at all) and I'll do whatever I can to let you know...that I think you're beautiful...and hopefully it'll convince you of the same. Believe me, one of my dreams is to somehow, someway convince all of you ladies out there of just how incredible you all are...so you would be helping me to achieve my dream. You are doing me a favor...by allowing me to shine upon you your own radiance. Just keep that in mind the next time you're feeling down or glancing in the mirror and think something that is just ridiculous. Put me on your speed dial under #69 and use in cases of even mild emergency. Satisfaction guaranteed. I even make house calls.

Anyway, that'll do it for today. I hope that you're all having a magnificent weekend before starting the grind at work again. Keep this in mind though. Next weekend is LABOR DAY WEEKEND!!! So you have that to look forward to. Get the grill ready for a barbecue, put a few dozen cold ones in the fridge and get ready for this last hoo-hah of summer. First and foremost though, have a great night everybody!!!

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