Thursday, January 21, 2010

So You're Saying There's a Chance

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

It has been snowing the past few days and a few feet of mostly powdery snow has fallen. It’s quite lovely when you’re not driving in it. Actually during lunch the other day, the Weather Channel was on the TV at work & they were talking about the Lake Tahoe area and the great snow that we get out here and the scenic beauty. I had to let out a “Wow, that place looks awesome. I may have to take a trip out there.” In typical fashion, after the snowstorm comes in & drops a foot or two, the next day is beautiful clear & sunny. Then it repeats over the course of about six months from what I’m told. Not a bad setup out here. You should all come enjoy it at least once. I warn you though. A lot of the locals that I meet came out here for a vacation…and have yet to go back to work a decade later.

Also, this morning I was brushing & scraping the two feet of snow & ice off my Jeep, Gretchen, while she was warming up. A little back-story, being a Richard Cheese Superfan, I was sent an advance copy of his latest album “OK Bartender” and it was in the CD player. Well, I’m finishing up brushing the Jeep off…neighbors nearby doing the same…and I open the door to get in just as Richard Cheese is belting out, “My neck, my back, lick my p***y AND my crack” (admit it, you all know the Khia song) and the neighbor closest to me gives me a weird look as I turn it down. “Ugh…is that…you singing?” “No. It’s a lounge singer named Richard Cheese.” “Oh okay, I’ve just noticed you singing songs like that before…and he kinda sounds like you.” “Oh…well thanks…I think.” Make awkward social advances, not war. P.S. Check out that new album…and help keep Richard Cheese & Lounge Against the Machine in business. Maybe I can convince them to come to Truckee or South Tahoe or Reno or something.

While snowed in, I watched yet another Hitchcock classic for the first time, “North by Northwest” starring Cary Grant & Eva Marie Saint. It’s the story of an advertising man (Grant) and a case of mistaken identity with a spy. No matter what the story, everybody’s convinced that he’s a spy…and it forces him to go on the run. Along the way, in true Hitchcockian fashion, he meets a mysterious beautiful big breasted blonde (Saint) and get caught up in a web of lies, deceit, danger, suspense, double crosses, plot twists & occasional nookie. You know the oft-copied/parodied scenes of the biplane trying to run down somebody…or the foot chase on Mount Rushmore? It’s from this movie. I highly recommend checking it out. In vivid Technicolor. Now, the news…with a bit of a Chinese twist to it…

Starbury Goes Global – Remember Stephon Marbury? The ultra-talented point guard out of Coney Island (inspiration for Spike Lee’s “He Got Game”) with the Minnesota Timberwolves in the late 90’s/early 00’s that teamed with Kevin Garnett? Then wanted to be the big shot & pouted a lot…so he got traded around to a bunch of different teams? Then got traded to his hometown Knicks…and still pouted? Then just wouldn’t play or got benched or whatever the story is? Then left? Then signed with the Celtics last year…and played horribly? No? Well, maybe you do, maybe you don’t. Anyway, he plays basketball…and now he’s signed with a team in the CBA. No, not that CBA…but the Chinese Basketball Association (where the 6’3” guard will probably play center). The 32-year-old has agreed to a deal with the northern club and would arrive in Shanxi next week, the team announced on its official Web site. Shanxi boss Wang Xingjiang said, "The aim of signing Marbury is to pay back our fans and try to win more games in the rest of the season." The 2001 and 2003 NBA All-Star was expected to help boost Shanxi's ticket sales as well as their chances of making the playoffs. Shanxi is currently 15th in the 17-team league. In an interview posted on Shanxi's Web site, Marbury said he wasn't daunted by the language barrier. "I'll communicate with the fans through my basketball. I think this will be a unique experience. To go overseas to play ball, to live, for me it's a challenge." (God knows I’ve thought about it) Wang added that Marbury's salary would not be too high (still $25,000 a month) because he wants to promote his personal brand of shoes in China. Celtics coach Doc Rivers said he isn't surprised Marbury is back on the court. "I did not think he was done. I thought someone would actually pick him up this summer. I think he's going over there probably to prove that he can play." He isn’t the first to do this. Last season, Shanxi hired former NBA player Bonzi Wells, who scored as many as 50 points a game. The contract ended after less than two months though when Wells went on vacation but failed to return on time. So we’ll see how this goes for the troubled former superstar. I hope it turns his image around a bit. I still see him playing center in that league though. I remember when I went over there & saw the Shanghai Normal University basketball team, their center was under six foot. I wonder if their offer to play for them still stands…

Chinese Matchmakers - China's central government has set up a match-making website to help thousands of busy but lonely government workers find love at work (a.k.a. sh*t where you eat). "Are you still single and bitter?" asks the pink-themed website (https://owa.marriott.com/exchweb/bin/redir.asp?URL=http://us.rd.yahoo.com/dailynews/nm/od_uk_nm/storytext/oukoe_uk_china_love/34813947/SIG=10o4kvdd2/*http:/www.ywqq.gov.cn). Look no further. The official government website for the "Central Government Unions Magpie Bridge" featuring a young man and woman peering at each other around the corner of a log cabin calls itself "the most trustworthy matchmaking platform." "Members have high caliber, are well-educated and have stable jobs. All information has been confirmed by the labour union at their respective employer, and registered with the Ministry of Public Security, to assure accuracy and reliability." Magpie Bridge has so far attracted more than 5,000 civil servants from the central government and the Beijing municipal government since it was established in 2005. It is named after the bridge of birds that once a year connects mythical Chinese lovers Niu Lang and Zhi Nu (not to be confused with the mythical evil interstellar warlord of Scientology, Xenu). The website aims at providing a "pure and safe environment," different from commercial matchmaking sites which are notorious in China for being filled with fake personal information. It doesn't list a success rate but, at 100 Yuan ($13) for a year's subscription for a civil servant, it seems a bargain. Hmm, would that include maybe…a professional basketball player in a state-ran economy? Hmm, maybe I can find me some Love in China…and at a fraction of eHarmony’s rates…but then again, I’d be a sports star, getting mobbed in the subway all the time. “Thank you, thank you, I’m sorry. I have no idea what you’re saying. Do you want me to sign your baby? Sign your baby? Is that why you’re holding it up to me? Do you have a Sharpie?” Ah memories…

Great Wall of Chaka - The Great Wall never looked so tasty. A team of Chinese confectioners have built a 10 meter (33 ft) long replica of the structure entirely out of chocolate in a bid to entice Chinese to eat more of the sweet stuff. The chocolate wall is made from solid dark chocolate bricks stuck together with white chocolate and is one of the attractions at the World Chocolate Wonderland exhibition and trade show which will open to the public later this month. Chocolatier Wang Qilu said his version of the ancient wall was a feat of engineering in itself, with a carefully constructed crumbling section at one end to resemble the real thing (nice cover for a mishap). He also had to make sure his materials did not melt (bring it to Truckee). "You have higher and lower levels and you have to fit each brick into place, one by one, to build it up, it's difficult," he said. Up to 80 tons of chocolate (approximately 328 million calories by the way) were used in making the displays, which include a mini-army of 560 chocolate replicas of the famous Terracotta Warriors standing to attention on a layer of chocolate flakes. The show's general manager, Tina Zheng, said she hoped the displays would give chocolate a boost in the Chinese market and its billion-plus consumers. "Chocolate has not been around in China that long, it doesn't have that several-thousand-year history that it does in the West which has made chocolate as common as milk or fruit. While in China, chocolate is a specialty or something given to children, in general, it is not widely known." Local and foreign chocolate manufacturers will take part in the show, she added. Mmm, sounds delicious. At least I know there’d be a pot of chocolate at the end of the bridge of magpies if I were to join Stephon over there. By the way, the original terracotta warriors were just made out of a flatbread that has been sitting for over 2000 years. It’s on the internet now. It has to be true. Okay, maybe not…but this is…

Marriage Finally Pays Off - Historically, marriage was the surest route to financial security for women. Nowadays it's men who are increasingly getting the biggest economic boost from tying the knot, according to a new analysis of census data. The changes, summarized in a Pew Research Center report being released Tuesday, reflect the proliferation of working wives over the past 40 years, a period in which American women outpaced men in both education and earnings growth. A larger share of today's men, compared with their 1970 counterparts, are married to women whose education and income exceed their own, and a larger share of women are married to men with less education and income (that’s basically the same statistic twice, right?). "From an economic perspective, these trends have contributed to a gender role reversal in the gains from marriage," wrote the report's authors, Richard Fry and D'Vera Cohn. "In the past, when relatively few wives worked, marriage enhanced the economic status of women more than that of men. In recent decades, however, the economic gains associated with marriage have been greater for men." One barometer is median household income, which rose 60% between 1970 and 2007 for married men, married women and unmarried women, but only 16% for unmarried men, according to the Pew data. The report focused on U.S.-born men and women aged 30-44 — a stage when typical adults have finished their education, married and launched careers. The Pew report noted that today's Americans in this age group are the first such cohort in U.S. history to include more women than men with college degrees. In 1970, according to the report, 28% of wives in this age range had husbands who were better educated than they were, outnumbering the 20% whose husbands had less education. By 2007, these patterns had reversed with 19% of wives had husbands with more education, compared with 28% whose husbands had less education. Only 4% of husbands had wives who earned more than they did in 1970, compared with 22% in 2007. During that span, women's earnings grew 44%, compared with 6% growth for men, although a gender gap remains (is that anything like Baby Gap?). According to 2009 Census Bureau figures, women with full-time jobs earned salaries equal to 77.9% of what men earned, compared with 52% in 1970. The Pew researchers noted that the economic downturn is reinforcing the gender reversal trends, with men losing jobs more often than women. So gentlemen, if you just got laid off, maybe you should go bag yourself a wealthy wife. Get yourself a nice hot sugar mama, retire to the hills and raise a few beautiful children together. Then when your wife’s working long hours to get that promotion, and she shows up late for dinner AGAIN, and she’s too tired to be intimate after you’ve waited for her all day, and the kids would rather hang with their friends than you, and it seems the only person that acknowledges your existence is the poolgirl giving you the eye…or your wife’s best friend who lives down the street. OH YEAH!!! Not quite the same when the roles are reversed now is it? Sorry. I come from divorced parents. And I watch too much TV. I still think Marriage can be a great thing…despite what statistics show. It’s kinda like…there’s a lot of sh*tty art out there in the world…but every once in a while, you get the Sistine Chapel. It ain’t easy…but it’s worth it. Does that sound like a guy who’s never been married or what?

Anyway, that’ll do it for today. OH!!! Big news – My brother may actually have a chance of keeping my niece. The judge ACTUALLY looked at the mountain of evidence against CW in the hearing the other day…and the worst fear was that they wouldn’t. (Even one of her other baby daddies is testifying…on my brother’s behalf) Tomorrow should be a big day, one way or another. Pray for my niece. I just hope that whatever happens she’ll be looked over by a responsible adult. That’s really what’s important…is that she’s safe. Have a great day everybody!!!

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