Republicans Want to Ban Good Dental Health

George Gummers

Democratic Congressman, George Gummers, has proposed a new addition to Obamacare which will mandate free toothpaste and brushes to everyone under the new health care law. Gummers says the time has come to make toothbrushes and toothpaste accessible to the masses. Women and minorities of course have been the hardest hit, Gummers declared.

There was immediate opposition from the Republican side of the House, with GOP leaders simply stating we did not have the money to provide free dental care products. This was soon followed with outrage from the New York Times, CNN, The Politico, and The Atlanta Urinal and Constipation, who chastised Republican leaders for wanting to ban good dental health.

President Obama welcomed this news and said he would sign any bill that came to his desk which cost a lot of money and gave free stuff away to prospective Democrat voters. Senator John McCain and other GOP leaders warned against criticizing the president's position stating that such a tone would be perceived as racist and insensitive by independent voters.