M is for Monkey

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Yesterday was a fantastic day...though quite exhausting. I started off by waking up on time (despite not setting an alarm) to go to Hogle Zoo with JL Clyde in the morning...and then meet up with my mom, brother, niece Kairi & nephew Vinny whenever they decided to show up. The thing was...JL Clyde slept in an extra hour or so...and the rest showed up about three hours later. Awesome, right? Well, we still had fun...and I enabled JL Clyde's frightening obsession with primates. Seriously, it's almost as bad as my thing with Pandas (of which there are none at Hogle Zoo). Here are some pictures...

Golden Lion Tamarin

A monkey showing off

Look at the monkeys

My favorites, the Doc Brown monkeys...

...and Orangutans

This is a Fossi. I know, right?

Teenage Mutant Sh*ttin' Turtle

I thought it was weird that they talked about Shaq

and the Black Mamba (Kobe) right next to eachother

On the other side, they described a snake as being a few

inches longer than Yao Ming is tall. Basketball + Education

"Get a room!!!"

Never seen this sign before...

TIGERS!!!

Odd for me to say...but she's cuter without the Panda mask

Cannibal Animals!!!

I met up with my family just about the time it got to be extremely hot & sunny (situation in which I don't fare well) so after about two more hours (making a total of six for me), we decided to head to my apartment and relax for a bit. The kids had a quick 15 minute nap on the drive back...and apparently that, coupled with being in my apartment where everything was new exciting & shiny, completely energized their batteries and they were ready to touch and play with everything...while at the same time drink & eat in a sloppy manner...but luckily I had mildly childproofed the place in advance. Oh wait, no I didn't...so I spent the whole evening cleaning up after them. Damn it, if they weren't so cute I'd be a little angry with them...but they are, so I'm not. They just like Uncle $teve's cool new apartment...and all his fun stuff like pandas, maracas, shiny trinkets from around the globe & I don't yell at them for being kids. Besides, they wanted to play with Uncle $teve, so he played with them while their dad & grandma just kicked back and took a nap & played video games. When we were leaving, my brother gave me a "Now you know how I feel" and I responded with, "Dude, don't even. I know it's tough to raise kids...but seeing as I've been in the sun for six hours, then followed it up with your two kids running around in a completely unchildproofed apartment all strung out on soda after a nap, I think I did pretty good...and you're the one who's leaving right now because he's tired and wants to take a nap." It was a lot of fun...and then a lot of cleanup afterwards...but Kairi said, "Bye Uncle $teve, I love you" on the way out & Vinny waved...so it's all worth it. Here's the news...

Master of Kegels - Grocery store cameras caught a woman taking a 24-can case of beer from a cooler, exposing the 20-pound case between her thighs by pulling up her housedress, pulling her dress back down, and waddling out of the store...but it took a while to identify and find her. Lisa Newsome, 42, of Baker, Louisiana didn't deny anything when she was arrested Monday, said Capt. David McDavid (really? David McDavid?) of the Zachary Police Department. "She wanted to demonstrate it ...and I told her, no thanks, I wasn't into that." She was booked into the East Baton Rouge Parish Prison on a theft charge, he said. "We weighed a case. It was 20 pounds." The theft was August 22nd. McDavid said police learned the woman's identity last week and located her Monday afternoon. Casey Rayborn Hicks, spokeswoman for the East Baton Rouge Parish Prison, said she did not know whether Newsome had an attorney. Newsome remained in jail Tuesday in lieu of $1,000 bond. That must've been an awkward conversation during the arrest. "Aaaah, ya caught me. My plan was going so well, McDavid. After years of mastering the martial arts of kegels, I was primed to take over the world. Aren't you curious how I did it?" "No, not at all actually...and I hate that it's just over a 24-pack of Natural Light but theft is theft." "Oh you only think it was just a 24-pack...but you know NOTHING of the weather dominator...or the tectonic oscillator." "Ma'am, that's a thermometer & a vibrator. Will you please stop reaching down there and put your hands behind your head?" "Just one more beer for the road (reaches down, there's the sound of a bottle cap being opened and she pulls out a longneck). Would you care for one?" "No thank you, ma'am." "How about a smoke?" "FOR THE LAST TIME, HANDS BEHIND YOUR HEAD!!! Jesus, it must be like a wizard's sleeve in there." Great image, right? You're welcome. Here's one that's even better.

Potty Prowler - A Maine man caught peering up at a girl from below an outhouse toilet seat four years ago stands accused of crawling into another pit toilet on White Mountain National Forest property in New Hampshire. A federal affidavit indicates a 49-year-old man confessed to repeating his previous act on Memorial Day. Federal agents sought the man out after a 9-year-old boy saw him climbing out of a toilet at the Hastings Campground. Two witnesses saw (and smelled) him walk away from the outhouse. Forest Service special agent William Fors wrote that the man initially said he climbed into the waste-filled pit to retrieve a T-shirt. Four years ago, he said he was retrieving his wedding ring. Fors wrote the man eventually confessed climbing into outhouse pits on more than two occasions. Apparently along with his T-shirt & wedding ring, he also lost his marbles (rim shot). Maybe he and the lady from the previous story would get along. "Oh my gosh, what's going to come down here next? I hope it's another beer." Some people are just twisted...even moreso than me...and that frightens me a bit.

Well, that'll do it for today. Hope you're all having a great weekend. Support your local zoos. Without them, we probably wouldn't know what delicious creatures we can't eat because of the law. Have a great day everybody!!!

Bounty Hunters Wanted

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Well, I interviewed this morning...and it was awkward as all hell...but I did pretty good. I drove up to Park City and arrived a half-hour early (you never know when you drive up Parley's Canyon) and it was basically the Big Boss, HR director and the person I'm replacing interviewing me...but mostly the Big Boss because...well, he's the Big Boss. He asked me questions and was basically staring me down like a cowboy would...and I was sweating...but it had nothing to do with him & everything to do with I'm in this warm confined room with three people while wearing a full suit. I answer all the questions...and he tapdances around some of mine...primarily the pay, which is pretty important. "What're you looking for in regards to pay?" "Well, honestly I'm not looking to drive Parley's twice daily so it'd have to be something where I'd be able to live up here near the company. Now, I haven't checked apartments directly yet but I'm assuming it's in the range of $1200 a month give or take for a one or two-bedroom, am I right?" He looks at the floor a little bit, probably realizing that he won't be able to afford me, "Yeah, that's about right. Usually people shack up four to six people per apartment up here but...yeah, if you were looking for yourself then it'd be about that. No family up here?" "Closest would be in Salt Lake." I also mentioned that there were other opportunities that I was looking into in Lake Tahoe and others...but what it all boils down to is, he never really gave me an exact number claiming he'd have to officially offer the job (really?) but it seems like they're very interested...but only if I'll take the job for what somebody who already lives up there will take it for...which is pretty much what I make now. It'll be considered...but I just wasn't really feeling it. Especially during the drive back down Parley's afterwards. REALLY don't want to deal with that every day...even on a beautiful day like today. Anyway, more on my future later...and I may be going to the Zoo tomorrow with the niece & nephew...so I have that to look forward to...and Bubbles is visiting so maybe she'll have time to stop by & say howdy. In the meantime, here's the news...mostly to do with movies...

Predators Update - Filming on "Predators", Fox's reboot of its popular sci-fi alien hunter franchise, kicks off September 28th in Austin, Texas according to Production Weekly. The story involves a very intense group of people stranded on a Predator planet discovering unspeakable horrors - that are not always from outside their group. Alex Litvak and Michael Finch penned the script. Nimrod Antal ("Vacancy") directs with Robert Rodriguez ("Sin City" & "Desperado") producing. Rodriguez's Troublemaker Studios are being used for the shoot. The film hits cinemas next July. So now we may finally have a Predator movie...in space. With Robert Rodriguez producing, it has to be good dirty campy fun. Can't wait.

Boondocks Sequel - Indie distributor Apparition continues its aggressive pickup strategy of late and has acquired the rights to the highly anticipated cult indie sequel "The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day" says the trades. Troy Duffy's followup to 1999's "The Boondock Saints" has Norman Reedus and Sean Patrick Flanery reprising their roles as the MacManus brothers who do battle against the Boston mob as they avenge the death of a beloved priest. Billy Connolly, Clifton Collins Jr. and Julie Benz co-star. It's set to hit theatres on October 30th and if you want to be the first on your block to check out the full R-rated preview (and you know you do), just click on the link. "Where you goin'? Nowheeeee!!!"

Lobo Movie - FINALLY!!! Guy Ritchie ("Sherlock Holmes," "Rocknrolla") is set to direct a live-action comic adaptation of "Lobo" for Warner Bros. Pictures reports Variety. In the comics, Lobo is a alien interstellar bounty hunter (not a Predator). The seven-foot tall (not a Predator), blue-skinned (not the Tick), indestructible and heavily muscled and heavily armed anti-hero (again, not a Predator) drives a pimped out motorcycle (see?), and lands on Earth in search of four fugitives who are bent on wreaking havoc. Lobo teams with a small town teenaged girl to stop the creatures. Don Payne wrote the most recent script draft, while Joel Silver, Akiva Goldsman and Andrew Rona will produce. Shooting kicks off early next year and is aiming for a PG-13 rating (see? Not Predator). Lobo was one of my favorites from DC Comics growing up as a kid...and I guess it'd be really hard to make his story into a movie...and that's probably why it hasn't happened until Guy Ritchie got a hold of it. Hopefully it'll be pretty cool...for being PG-13. I'm also curious to see "Sherlock Holmes" and if he's ever able to do the sequels to "Rocknrolla" since it pretty much tanked at the box office. All will be answered in time. For example, I never realized that Lobo & Predator were so similar until just now...but hey, if they can get a guest cameo by Dog & Boba Fett, then we may have a real movie here.

Vegas Update - So it really doesn't have a lot to do with Vegas per se...but it has it in the title as well as another V-word. Liam Neeson is attached to star in "The Virgin of Las Vegas" for Parallel Pictures says Variety. Exploring the Irish pop culture phenomenon of show bands, Neeson will play an aging show band singer, prone to drink and living in Vegas, who finds his life turned on its head following the arrival of a mysterious stranger. Show bands used to play cover songs in the early days of rock 'n' roll and amassed large followings across the country before dying out with the advent of TV. U2 frontman Bono and Alan Moloney will produce the $14 million project. That's it. Virgins & Vegas are merely background to Liam Neeson playing an aging Irish cover band leader. Unless the mysterious stranger is Elisabeth Shue, even I may have to pass.

That's about it for today. More as it transpires. Just in a real state of disarray and frustration right now...but maybe a little me time followed by a trip to the zoo with the young'uns will help me figure some things out. Seriously, what else am I gonna do this weekend? Every HR department in America has taken a four-day weekend by now. Balls. Have a great weekend everybody!!!

The Gluton - Painting

One work art with a fat guy eating his lunch. The line art was made in vector and the painting in a organic way. I like the details, like the veins in his belly.
Click to enlarge.

Rotating Ladybugs Optical Illusion

These rotating ladybugs are rather unknown but extremely convincing. You just can't believe this is not an animation.

Many A Dramatic Situation Start With Screaming

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Wednesday night, in the spirit of the good news about the remake, I decided to watch "Barbarella" again...and JL Clyde joined me...and a good time was had. However, I got a little weary about the remake possibilities. See, sure having Angelina or Megan Fox or any other superhottie playing Barbarella...which is one of the many many reasons for the pictures yesterday...and hopefully you voted for who you think would be the best choice. However, then I started to think about the article...and there was a number thrown on there of $150 million blockbuster...and sure, if Angelina decides it's worth her time, then $20 million of that goes to her...because she can. However, that being said, if somebody's putting $150 million into this movie, they're going to expect to get at least $200 million back. Also, if Angelina is going to star in it, she'll want it to be a real hard-hitting story with moral themes and great actors...and probably will want her husband to play Pygar the angel, so that's another $20 million...and basically, half the appeal of Barbarella...is that the story is just so damn ridiculous in just about every single way. Also, the role of Barbarella...is kind of a ditsy blonde...and I just don't see Angelina being all into it...unless it's kind of a comedic sex symbol role that she's looking to do...but I just don't see her going all in on the project. It may just be a little too ridiculous...and last time she tried one like that was "Sky Captain & the World of Tomorrow" (yes, I'm one of five people who actually saw that movie) and that was a bit of a flop...though it's actually not a horrible flick.

So the original was pretty much just a rouse...that caught on as an international hit in the psychedelic 60's...but I'm fairly convinced that there was a meeting of the nine writers of the original that went a little something like, "Okay, here's what I'm seeing. For the opening scene, I want a guy in a spacesuit floating around in his spaceship…but instead of the 2001 Space Odyssey type stuff, I want the floor & walls to be covered in brown shag carpeting…and there's a statue of a woman…with a boob hanging out…and a full size 'Sunday in the Park' there…and a supercomputer…but it just this thing that looks like window blinds that flip kind of weird. Okay, so you have the floating spaceman…and he starts taking off the suit…still in zero gravity…and you realize that it's a superhot naked chick." "Is she completely naked?" "No, she's in the spacesuit." "But will she be when the spacesuit is off?" "Of course. Undergarments aren't feasible in space travel." "I thought it was time travel." "It's both." "Oh. Of course." "Where was I? Oh yeah, so she's floating around buckynaked…and the credits come flying out of her orifices…and strategically cover certain areas so the MPAA at least thinks we're trying to conceal it. It'll be the greatest opening sequence ever." "What about the story?" "What ABOUT the story? It won't matter. We'll throw in angels and magic and an Orgasmatron and make up some words and evil children that are harvested and blue bunnies, it'll be the ultimate movie to watch on acid…or just to see the naked floating spacechick." "Who are we gonna get to play the spacechick, this...Barbarella?" "The director's wife is pretty hot. Let's get her to do it." Not exactly Academy Award stuff...but hey, you'd be surprised what you can do in this economy with $150 million. Anyway, that's just some thoughts that I had about a Barbarella remake. You probably don't care or have any idea what I'm talking about...and if so, please check it out and share your thoughts. I'll get back to the news...

Japan's First Lady Abducted by Aliens - Japan's next prime minister might be nicknamed "the alien," but it's his wife who claims to have had a close encounter with another world. This is no joke. "While my body was asleep, I think my soul rode on a triangular-shaped UFO and went to Venus," Miyuki Hatoyama, the wife of premier-in-waiting Yukio Hatoyama, wrote in a book published last year. "It was a very beautiful place and it was really green." Yukio Hatoyama is due to be voted in as premier on September 16 following his party's crushing election victory over the long-ruling Liberal Democratic Party Sunday. Miyuki, 66, described the extraterrestrial experience, which she said took place some 20 years ago, in a book entitled "Very Strange Things I've Encountered." When she awoke, Japan's next first lady wrote, she told her now ex-husband that she had just been to Venus. He advised her that it was probably just a dream. "My current husband has a different way of thinking. He would surely say 'Oh, that's great'." Yukio Hatoyama, 62, the rich grandson of a former prime minister, was once nicknamed "the alien" for his prominent eyes. Miyuki, also known for her culinary skills, spent six years acting in the Takarazuka Revue, an all-female (nice) musical theatre group. She met the U.S.-educated Yukio while living in America. So the first lady of Japan was abducted by aliens and taken to Venus (which I've heard is the female home planet in this sci-fi book that I read...okay, heard about). That takes some gumption. I don't see Michelle Obama saying anything like that. Even if it happened. Seriously, that's kind of like...Barbara Bush confessing in a book that she once caught a leprechaun. That's kind of cool. Weird...but cool. Anyway, just thought I'd share that with you...and I included a picture of the happy couple.

Dinosaur Update - Nanostructures preserved in feather fossils more than 40 million years old show evidence that those feathers were once vivid and iridescent in color, paleontologists say. Iridescence is the quality of changing color depending on the angle of observation - it's what makes you see a rainbow in an oil slick. Many insects, such as butterflies, display iridescent colors on their wings, as do many modern birds on their feathers. The simplest iridescent feather colors are produced by light scattering off the feather's surface and a smooth surface of melanin pigment granules within the feather protein. Scientists found smooth layers of these melanin structures, called melanosomes, when they examined feather fossils from the Messel Shale in Germany with an electron microscope. "These feathers produced a black background with a metallic greenish, bluish or coppery color at certain angles-much like the colors we see in starlings and grackles today," said Richard Prum of Yale University, who was part of the team that studied the fossils. For more than 25 years, paleontologists had thought these structures in similar feather fossils were bacteria that had digested the feathers at the time they were fossilized. The team had previously discovered that these structures were in fact not bacteria but melanosomes, which then allowed them to document the original color patterns. Following up on the new finding, they are racing to discover what additional coloration features may be found in fossil feathers. "The discovery of ultra-structural detail in feather fossils opens up remarkable possibilities for the investigation of other features in soft-bodied fossils, like fur and even internal organs" that otherwise are not typically preserved, said study team member Derek Briggs, also of Yale. The discovery could pave the way for determining color features of other ancient birds and even dinosaurs, the team said. That's right, Dinosaurs. That's something that has baffled me since I was a kid.

I distinctly remember being a kid and drawing dinosaurs, since they were awesome...and my teacher wouldn't let me draw naked women. I'd draw a T-Rex and give him all sorts of colored scales and patterns like a Chameleon...or a Gila Monster...or Batman, you know, whatever I felt like. I remember my 2nd grade teacher asking me once why I drew them like that...even though all the books that I read about dinosaurs had the standard dark green scales like most reptiles have. "Well, I figure that nobody really knows what dinosaurs looked like back then...because nobody was around. Maybe they had colors like this...maybe they were all black...maybe they had little fuzzies on their scales...we don't know. Birds and lizards and fish and mammals and frogs and insects, they all have different colors. Maybe dinosaurs did too." "What do birds have to do with dinosaurs, $teve?" With what followed, my teacher learned a lot more about dinosaurs then she ever intended to that day...and from a seven-year old. I was an odd kid...who grew into an odd man. So yeah, apparently ancient birds might've been more colorful than previously thought...and dinosaurs might've been the same way...and now I have more proof to my personal beliefs. Wanna know something else cool? I read an article a few weeks ago about how some people glow in the dark. I'm not joking. Apparently my copied URL has since been erased by Yahoo News...but it was kinda cool. Wanna know what else is cool? I have something else in common with a hottie.

Megan Fox: Schizo? - So it's been noted over the past few years...that maybe a guy like me could get along with Megan Fox. Forget the raw talent, sexual prowess, physical compatibility, similar interests & just overall commanding presence that we both possess...but now we have similar neuroses as well. According to a recent interview, actress Megan Fox has a secret she's been hiding (poorly) from her legions of fans - she suffers "bouts of schizophrenia." The Transformers star admits she has struggled with mental health problems since her youth and although she hasn't been officially diagnosed, she is convinced she shows symptoms of the serious psychiatric condition, which often torments suffers with auditory hallucinations, paranoid delusions and social dysfunction. The 23 year old reveals she has spent years meticulously studying the life of movie legend Marilyn Monroe (SEE??? I TOLD YOU!!!), who died of a drug overdose at the age of 36 - because she fears her own problems may lead her to a similar end. She tells Wonderland magazine, "I basically read every book ever written about Marilyn Monroe (and not just for the pictures). I could end up like that because I constantly struggle with the idea that I think I'm a borderline personality - or that I have bouts of mild schizophrenia. I definitely have some kind of mental problem and I haven't pinpointed what it is." Miss Fox, if you ever need to talk to somebody with similar symptoms...but has learned a few good measures to keep everything in check, call me, Facebook me (that sounded dirty), have your people call my people, do whatever you need to do to get a hold of me. I know a guy...who answers calls at all hours...and the last thing he wants is another tragic ending like the story of Norma Jean & Marilyn. Even if you need me to fly to Hollywood, I'd do it. You are not alone. I am here for you. And I'm going to stop before I start singing a Michael Jackson song...but it's oddly fitting given his end too. Homicide or not, drugs shouldn't be the answer unless absolutely necessary...and I'm a Doctor, so I know what I'm talking about. I'm not just here to show pictures of your magnificence. That's merely one of the many perks of the job. Observe...

That'll do it for today. There's actually a recent job opportunity that came up that I'm looking into...but I'll admit it, I'm already having second thoughts. Basically, a good coworker friend of mine from the past told me about a job with his company that's pretty much what I'm looking for...but he didn't have a lot of details about it, so I basically gave him my resume and he passed it along. Well, an hour or so later, I get a call from them and they want me to come by on Friday, do an interview, get shown around, meet the Big Boss and various other bosses...and basically I'm under the impression that they'll want me to join on Monday or something. Well, the thing is...the job's in Park City, so either I'd have to move up there...or drive Parley's Canyon twice daily...which I have no intentions of doing...EVER. Also, they'll more than likely offer me what I'm making now...and maybe even less hours...so there's little financial compensation for the moving and/or travel. Also, the job that I have now is cake...and there's plenty of room for a slow, steady growth...but yeah, obviously I'm on the job hunt for something better. I realize that I've become a bit of f**king snob when it comes to job opportunities...but I'd hate to not hear them out...while at the same time, not waste their time if I already know that unless they offer me compensation that's going to allow me to purchase a chateau down the street from a ski resort, then I'm not really interested. Oh well, I'll hear them out on Friday...and if they think I'm worth what I think I'm worth...then we'll see. I'm tired of waiting on HR with this company...but I don't want to shoot myself in the foot or anything. Remember, this whole thing just started with me wanting some information...so I have no problem with telling them no...even the Big Boss in person...and I'm not afraid to throw out the term "up'n my pay" if needs be. I may be a corporate whore...but I ain't cheap. Have a great day everybody!!!

Sin City Fashion by Steven Meisel

In spring 2005 the film Sin City by Frank Miller was real sensation. The impressive colors and the perfectly arranged film noir and pulp esthetics made Sin City also to an ideal pattern for a special kind of dark fashion.

Because of that it isn’t very surprising to me that it was Steven Meisel who has an inclination to dark and sometimes violent arrangements shot in the same year a Fashion Editorial for Vogue Italy, inspired by the film.

Why Tennis Is Better Than Porn

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Really wish that I could tell you about some fascinating stories that happened to me over the past few days or tell you about new developments in my job search or maybe even a clever little ditty involving pandas and zombies...but there's really just nothing to tell. Various HR departments across the globe have conspired against me once again...yet somehow I trudge forward and await for their "upgrades" to work...but to this point, they have not. My brother has called me many, many times since I saw him on Saturday...and I feel sorry for the guy being so lonely...but seriously, he has nothing to talk about...and I mean NOTHING. "How's your day?" "Ugh, you know." "No, I don't know. I've been working all day." "Just...yeah." "Okay, what're you up to now?" "Mom's watching the kids." "Okay, so what are YOU up to now?" "Nothing." A few seconds of silence. "Okay, well it was great talking to ya playa." It doesn't go exactly that way. There's a lot more spurts of silence during that conversation. I don't know what to do for the guy. I listen...to nothing. I suggest that he go out and do something...or someone. It's not like he's watching the kids or working everyday. I know he's basically depressed (believe me, I know the symptoms) but if he's not willing to do anything about it, what am I supposed to do? Maybe he just needs a few days to chillax. We'll see. Any suggestions? I usually don't have a problem with people calling me up at all hours to unload...but he's not unloading...just calling and then...I don't know, getting distracted. Anyway, enough about that. Here's some news...

Disney Buys Marvel - Here's a story even my brother could appreciate. Walt Disney Co on Monday agreed to buy Marvel Entertainment Inc for $4 billion in the biggest media deal of the year, banking on Marvel's roster of superheroes to broaden its lineup of movie franchises that appeal to boys. Disney adds Iron Man, Incredible Hulk and Thor to its roster of lovable characters like Mickey Mouse and Snow White, and will feature the comic book heroes in movies before rolling out associated theme park rides, TV shows and merchandise. But the deal comes at a tough time in the entertainment business, with advertisers avoiding spending on new campaigns and consumers cutting back on everything from DVDs to travel. The deal is also expensive. The price tag values Marvel at 37 times its estimated 2009 earnings, and offers shareholders a 29% premium to Friday's closing price. Standard & Poor's reacted by placing Disney's credit rating on its negative watchlist...but the risk of overpaying did not deter Disney from seeking out a deal to address an area of concern among investors: How can it better reach more young males. "This helps give Disney more important exposure to the young male demographic that they have sort of lost some ground with in recent years," said David Joyce, an analyst with Miller Tabak & Co. Indeed, Disney has long been a blockbuster brand with girls thanks to characters such as "Hannah Montana," "Cinderella" and "Snow White," but has struggled to achieve the same kind of success with boys. Movies including "Iron Man 2," due to hit theaters next year, or 2011's "Spider-Man 4" and "Avengers" should help resolve that issue. Disney will also be able to use its marketing and entertainment strength -- stretching from ABC to cable television to theme parks -- to promote and build characters such as Thor in ways Marvel never could. The deal is Disney's largest since the $7.6 billion purchase of Pixar in 2006, and it immediately caused reverberations. Shares in DreamWorks Animation SKG Inc spiked 5% on speculation it may become a takeover target and analysts raised questions about companies like Viacom Inc, Discovery Communications Inc, and Hasbro Inc that have existing business partnerships with Marvel. For more of the financial specs, they're in the article or the Wall Street Journal, but basically...this means Disney is close to creating a monopoly on entertainment for your children. I'm really just curious exactly how PC and/or PG that Disney's going to make Marvel movies and whatever else they end up doing. Marvel, to me, always seemed like one of the few big-time creative outlets for some of the world's most aspiring artists and storytellers who didn't want to be censored and streamlined to turn a profit. Granted, there was obviously some just to keep them on the shelves as opposed to under the counter for most of the popular ones...but it always seemed like they were big enough to succeed (as they obviously did) yet not so big that they were forced to please everybody (like Disney finds itself having to always do). Well, those days are gone. I wonder if Stan Lee can still negotiate being in all of the Marvel movies still. Who knows? Maybe it'll just be a financial deal...where Marvel's still a separately ran company and Disney just gets the profits or something like that. Still, 37 TIMES its estimated earnings? Seems like a lot when it's put that way...but hey, Disney didn't build its empire by overpaying for something they can't turn. They built it on your children.

Minnesota: Basketball's Soap Opera - So sometimes, I look at things from a different perspective. I know, shocking, right? Well, because my brother by another mother, Kevin Love plays pro ball in Minnesota, I've been paying a little bit of attention...and it gets more like a soap opera every day. Okay so, remember this last Basketball's Christmas when they drafted that overrated 18-year old Spanish kid Ricky Rubio? No, well they did...because he was hyped like no other...and he was 18 years old. Well, after two months and three visits by the team's GM to discuss a buyout clause in the contract with his Spanish team, apparently little Ricky is being traded to a team in Barcelona...and it'll be AT LEAST two years before he comes to play in the NBA. I don't know what the child labor laws are in Spain...but if a kid signs a contract when he's like 15 or something...and there's an $8 million buyout clause when he's only getting paid a few grand a year...is that legal? Weird...but definitely could be a mini-series on Telemundo...with plenty of eye candy. So...that was expected a few months ago. However, the really good stuff just happened the past few weeks when the Minnesota Timberwolves hired their new head coach, Kurt Rambis. If you follow basketball, you know Kurt. He's the guy who wore the horn-rimmed glasses when he played for the Lakers in the 80's with Magic & Kareem...and was basically the enforcer & rebounder guy. You see him on a bunch of 80's highlight reels as the guy catching a no-look Magic pass and laying it up...or receiving one of the all-time great clotheslines in sports history via Kevin McHale (who he replaced in Minnesota) and when they used to play the Pistons in the latter part of the decade, he had many a rough battle with former Pistons bad boy Bill Laimbeer.

Well, now he's coaching...and after almost a decade of being in coach Phil Jackson shadow in Hollywood, he basically skipped town and went to Minneapolis to coach there and prove his stuff...and get some of that foldin' money. He just hired a few assistant coaches...and one of them...is former three-time WNBA champion coach of the Detroit Shock...and former Pistons bad boy...Mister Bill Laimbeer. That's right, the guy who he used to trade elbows with and once gave him one of the greatest clothesline tackles in NBA history...is his assistant coach. That could be something straight out of Melrose Place. "Laimbeer! Run some drills with the second team." "Kurt, I'm tired of working with the second team. Half of them don't speak English and the other half don't speak it very well. I'm a championship level coach dammit! Let me run some drills with the first team." "Listen Laimbeer, you're lucky that I even gave you this chance after that sh*t you pulled in '89. I don't care what kind of rec league championship you won up in Detroit's summer league or whatever..." "IT'S THE WNBA!!!" "Never heard of it...but if I say that you're running the second team...then I suggest that you brush up on your Turkish and run the second team." "Don't you dare talk to me like that, you four-eyed condescending prick!" "Laimbeer! GO GET YOUR SHINE BOX!!!" "MUTHA LOVER!!!" Good ol' 80's style bench clearing brawl starts right in the middle of practice...and I'm not sure how...but in true Melrose Place fashion, I'm thinking it'll end with somebody falling into the pool. So yeah, that could be a lot of fun...even if just in the confines of my own twisted mind. It doesn't matter if they're on the same sideline wearing Armani suits, they'll always be wearing blue & red and purple & gold, a facemask and horn-rimmed glasses respectively...and just ready to go at each other's throats when the right moment arises. "Okay guys, LeBron's really taking it to us...so let's set up a zone and fill up these driving lanes a bit." "Coach Rambis, I think we should do a box-and-one. Then he's guarded from half-court and if he..." "Laimbeer, I don't believe I asked for your f**king opinion. If I want to know what worked against somebody coming off a year of maternity leave, then I'll ask for your input...but since we're talking about King James here, I suggest you..." Clothesline followed by Laimbeer pouncing on Rambis and choking him as other coaches and referees try to pry him off. I know it sounds horrible...but you know what? That'd be the most exciting thing to happen to the Timberwolves this year. Good luck guys.

Enough of that brutish sports stuff. Let's make it a little...sexier. Today at work, I was luckily enough to watch the US Open...and the good one, Tennis...not golf. Some of you may ask, "Tennis? Really? How is that possibly the good one?" Well, because you're comparing it to Golf...and not Mini-Golf or Extreme Golf. So I guess it's more appropriately...the better one. However, it's also the better one...because I don't get a chubby watching the golf version. When I'm watching the women's side of a tennis tournament, it could be two girls with names I can't even imagine how to pronounce (seriously some of them don't have vowels) but I'll watch it. I watched Caroline Wozniacki win her match and...yeah, I was impressed...even without sound. The sound makes the match though usually. You know I'm an Ana Ivanovic fan...but seriously, when I'm watching a Maria Sharapova match, I feel like I need to turn the TV down so that the neighbors can't hear lest they think that I'm watching porn again...er, period. Honestly, do yourself a favor and just listen to her. She groans with every exchange like her sweet sweet spot is located the "sweet spot" of her racquet.

Also, just on a side note, I've always wanted to go to a tennis tournament. Why? So that after the match, I could walk up to the winner...let's say, Ana Ivanovic...and say, "Miss Ivanovic, you were magnificent out there. By the way, I'm terribly sorry to bother you but (reach into my pocket) will you sign my balls?" This is where I pull out those fuzzy little lime green balls that they sign for all the kids...and either she signals for security & I'm escorted off the grounds...or she smiles, pulls the sharpie out from under her dress, signs them and I repay her by buying her dinner. It could go either way. Anyway, now we're taking the sexy up...not merely one notch...nor two notches...but thrice the notch of a standard sexy-up...

Fox / Jolie / Barbarella Update - In what could be the greatest showdown ever for the ultimate sex symbol tag, sultry supermegahotties Angelina Jolie and Megan Fox will allegedly audition for the role of "Barbarella" in a remake of the 1968 sci-fi classic of the same title. “This will be the first time Angie and Megan have ever faced off for the same role,” the Daily Star quoted a studio insider as saying. The source added: “Whoever gets the part will become the absolute number one Hollywood sex symbol on the planet.” The original film had turned Jane Fonda into an international sex symbol overnight. Now, whoever grabs the role will see herself as a latex-suited blonde (actually I'm pretty sure they'll stay a brunette...or they could just go redhead to f**k with everybody) thigh-high-booted mercenary of the future. Both Jolie and Fox have spoken about being compared to each other in the past. Jolie once said: “If it’s a comparison of looks, she can be the most beautiful but I have so much more going on.” Fox said: “She’s a powerful human being. She could eat me alive.” (I just blacked out for a second) Dino De Laurentiis, who produced the earlier film, believes that only these two mega stars can guarantee that the 150-million-dollar project becomes a huge box office hit...and let's face it, that's what really matters, right? By the way, if you haven't seen the original...then you probably have absolutely no idea how hot this scenario can be...and I would highly recommend that you go check it out...or stop by my place & we can watch it together...and discuss. It may all be unfounded speculation like so much else on the internet...but hey, it worked for me. I'm already seeing Gary Oldman as the bad guy. So cast your vote. Who should be the next Barbarella? Here are some pictures to help you decide...and for my own personal amusement...but mostly to help you decide...

Megan Fox

Maybe a write-in?

Rose McGowan was rumored at one time...

Maybe an actual natural blonde?

No, daddy likes brunettes...

so here's Angelina

Okay, so after that...I just have to say...it's basically Angelina's job if she wants it. No offense to Megan or Rose or Gary or anybody else applying...but just face it. Your only chance is if she thinks it's not worth her time.

Fortune Cookie of the Day - "The World Will Soon Be Ready to Receive Your Talents...in Bed" - Soon, ladies. Soon ye shall be ready to receive the FULL pleasure-giving powers of Dr Mookie Love...but not quite yet. Apparently, you're just not ready for it...but soon...and for the rest of your life, the Prophecy shall be fulfilled...and your cup shall runneth over. Giggidy. Have a great night ladies!!! Sweet dreams...