I want to be a panelist

I want to be a panelist on a TV show.

This has always seemed like the greatest job ever.

And by “always” I mean, since I was a kid.

Back in the Stone Age there were live game shows in prime time. Relics like WHAT’S MY LINE?, I’VE GOT A SECRET, and TO TELL THE TRUTH. Take any one of them – let’s say I’VE GOT A SECRET...

For years this show ran on Monday nights at 8:00 from New York

My comments on your comments

My Super Bowl Commercials post has generated a lot of comments. Worth checking them out. Mind if the ol’ blogmeister responds?

Reader Carol thought the kid kissing the girl at the prom was inappropriate and disturbing. When I was ten there was a girl in my class I had a huge crush on. One day, for unfathomable reasons, I decided to approach her during lunch and give her a big kiss. She

5 FESTIVALS OF THE HOLY COW

HINDU FESTIVALS

PAY HOMAGE TO COWS

www.boldsky.com - Hindus do not eat beef for religious reasons. This is because cows are holy to Hindus. The pun or sarcastic phrase 'holy cows' has sprung from this religious belief of Hindus. According to Hindu culture, cows are holy because they are milk giving animals. We get our first milk from our mother and that is why cows are equated with mothers. In fact they are also called 'Gau mata' which means 'cow mother'. Many Hindu festivals revere cows. Everything coming from the cow is considered holy, even the cows piss and dung. Some festivals require cow dung to cleanse the atmosphere. Let us take a deeper look at the festivals that require the holy cows to complete them.
1. Pongal: The biggest harvest festival of Tamil Nadu is incomplete without the presence of cows. The third day of Pongal is allocated to cows. Women from every Tamilian family worship the cows and feed them sweet Pongal.

2. Gaijatra: This is a festival dedicated to cows celebrated in Nepal. Numerous cows are marched on the streets of Nepal in the memory of family members who have passed away. 3. Gowardhan Puja: The day before Diwali is the famous Gowardhan puja or the festival of cow dung. On this day, cow dung is the deity to which food (vegetables) and money is offered.  This custom stems from the fact that cow dung is considered holy by the Hindus. 4. Deepali-Tihar: Deepawali or Diwali is a pan-Indian festival that is celebrated with great pomp and show. Our neighbour Nepal also celebrates Deepawali, but they call it Tihar and celebrate it differently. In Nepal, the customary Lakshmi puja for Diwali is incomplete without cows. 
5. Shivaratri: Don't be surprised because we are talking about the cow's male counterpart, the bull. No worship of Lord Shiva is ever complete without paying homage to his pet bull, Nandi. Especially on Shivaratri, women pay their respects to Shiva's bull and then move on to the Lord himself. Do you know any other Hindu festivals that pay homage to cows?.

The presence of the holy cows is essential for many rituals in Hinduism and many Hindu festivals cannot be complete without worshiping cows. Anwesha, the author of the article, mentions that the Nepali festival 'Gaijatra' or 'cow's journey' usually takes place in August or September. Also in Nepal, on the main day of the Deepawali festival, cows are worshiped as the form of Goddess Lakshmi. Women do 'aarti' of the cows and feed them 'prasad'. On the third day of Pongal - called the Mattu Pongal - cows are adorned with kum kum and their horns are painted. As regards Lord Shiva's bull, Anwesha explains that every Shiva temple has an idol of this bull outside the sanctum chamber. The bull, Nandi, is always placed right in front of the Shiva Linga. Besides all the spiritual significances, the protection of the cow and the bull is the basis for a simple and prosperous life.

WHAT DO THE VEDIC TEACHINGS TELL US? 

Bhaktivedanta's alternative vision of how human society ought to live could be summed up with the twin concept of protection of brahmanas and protection of cows. ... he writes: "The bull is the emblem of moral principle, and the cow is the representative of the earth. When the bull and the cow are in a joyful mood, it is to be understood that the people of the world are also in a joyful mood. The reason is that the bull helps production of the grains in the agricultural field, and the cow delivers milk, the miracle of aggregate food values." To protect the cow is more than good economics, it is a matter of principle. In the Vedic tradition she is one of the seven mothers: the real mother, the wife of the spiritual master, the wife of a brahmana, the wife of the king, the nurse, the earth and the cow. All of them should be respected and cared for.

Ranchor Prime (Śripad Ranchor Dasa) :
“Hinduism & Ecology”
Chapter 12: “An Alternative Society”
Friends of Vrindavan (FOV) - WWF
http://www.fov.org.uk/hinduism/hinduism.html
http://www.fov.org.uk/aims/aims.html

Published by dasavatara das - "Vedic Views on World News"
http://www.vedicviews-worldnews.blogspot.com.ar/

Let Me See Your Bake Feets Real Quick.

Firstly, by way of warning, I should let you know that this is going to be a short week.

Actually, that's not true.  This week is going to be the same length as every other week since we started using the Gregorian calendar.  It's just that I won't be blogging during all of it, because I have to go to San Francisky in a couple of days to make a promotional video for my next book--which I only mention because I need to borrow a bakefiets:

(Bakefeets)

Seriously, I really do need to borrow a bakfiets for the video, so if you're in or near San Francisco and you have one you'd be willing to lend later this week let me know.  You can email me at "bikesnobnyc (at) yahoo (dot) com" with the subject line "BORROW MY FEETS."  I promise to make it worth your while somehow.  (Or, at the very least, I promise not to go pee-pee in it.)  And don't give me any attitude either, because all I'm doing is asking for something THIS ONE TIME, okay?  So like I don't see what the big deal is.  I hate you.  I hate you all!  I wish I was dead!!!  [Slams bedroom door, cranks up the Nine Inch Nails, and...scene.]

Speaking of stuff that hails from the Low Countries, how awesome was that Elite Cyclocross World Championships in Louisville this past weekend?

(Sven Nys with somebody, via a reader.)

No, seriously, I'm actually asking how awesome it was, because I didn't go.  Was it awesomely awesome?  Was it kind of awesome?  Was it middlingly awesome?  Was it decidedly un-awesome?  Also, my understanding is that the entire venue was underwater the next day, and that that all the Low Country competitors came back to point and laugh at our country's pathetic lack of effective levies and dikes.

I have no idea who he is or where he's from, but let's just assume he's Dutch.

Anyway, while dozens of people were enjoying the cycling cross this weekend, I was engaged in the pursuit of mountain bike bicycle cycling.  Here's a picture of the bicycle I was using so I can write it off on my taxes:

(This just became a business expense.)

Just kidding, I don't pay taxes.  No, this is the Internet, so the reason I put it there is so that people can tell me what's wrong with it and feel like they know about bikes.  Also, it's an excuse to talk about ruts:

(A rut.)

Here in New York, we had that thing where it was really cold, then it got warm and wet, and then it got really cold again.  This past weekend it was really cold, which meant that the trails were nice and firm, like a pair of synthetic breasts.  (I used to have synthetic breasts but I had them removed.)  Unfortunately, it seems as though a lot of people decided to ride during the warm and wet period (yeah, I just typed "warm and wet period," so what?), which resulted in a lot of this:

(Frozen ruts.)

I'm not sure why it's so hard for people to wait for the trails to freeze back up before riding again.  I suppose some people just don't like to ride when it's cold.  These same people also think the act of mountain bike bicycle cycling has to involve mud or else it's not "epic."  Then, when it gets too cold (for them) to ride, they hang around inside posting on Internet forums about how awesomely their new 650b tubeless blahblahblah tires clear mud while everyone else deals with their ruts.  Then that Dutch guy comes over and starts laughing at them:

By the way, you know who likes to ride when it's warm and wet?  This guy:

(Mario Cipollini inspects a seamstress's "muffin top" in his clothing factory.)

Only when he's finished, he doesn't leave ruts, all he leaves are babies and herpes.

Speaking of being stuck in a rut, last week I linked to an article about how nobody wants cars anymore, especially young people.  Of course, the car companies can't have that, which means they have to come up with new and interesting ways to trick young people already in debt for useless college educations into spending more money on a useless car in which they can drive to the jobs they don't have.  That's why Dodge is now allowing aspiring suckers to slap on the shackles of car ownership by ripping off Kickstarter:

Aimed at young buyers, the Dodge Dart Registry allows potential Dart owners to solicit donations toward the purchase of a new car. That’s right, you can get other people to buy the car for you.

Consider Michael, who needs a care "more practical than his beloved Pontiac Trans Am to drive to school and work:"

For example, a registrant named Michael, from Toledo, Ohio, says he needs a car more practical than his beloved Pontiac Trans Am to drive to school and work. So he created a sporty orange Dart online and has solicited $103 to pay for a sliding armrest and a parking brake lever. As of Thursday, he still needed an engine and wheels and the like, but Michael still has 76 days to raise money for the remaining 69 fundable parts.

Here's Michael driving to work in his current car:

What the hell does he want with a Dart?  His current ride is both practical and stylish.

In any case, I think the Dart registry is mostly just more slimy and derivative marketing from the auto companies, though I'm very tempted to start one for David Byrne:

("You got me a what?" [FML, facepalm, etc.])

He'd complain, but you know he'd drive it.

Super Bowl commercials were not funny

How many times did you laugh at a Super Bowl commercial yesterday? Three times? Five maybe?

Now let’s do the math: Each 30 second spot cost $4,000,000. The production value on all of these commercials was lavish. Safe to say at least $1,000,000? Probably closer to $2,000,000. So think of all the commercials over a four-hour period and hundreds of millions had to be spent on them.

For those who don't know who Paul Harvey is

Here's a repost from 2009 when Harvey passed away.  His Super Bowl commercial was so good that I'm becoming a farmer.

On Friday night I signed off my radio show on KABC at 7:00 and was followed by Paul Harvey News and Comment. It wasn’t actually Paul Harvey, it was someone filling in for him doing a woeful impression. But I drove away feeling very proud that I was on the same radio

A SERIOUS WORLD-WIDE PROBLEM

"DEPRESSION", A CONDITION

USUALLY IGNORED TILL IT'S TOO LATE

www.nation.co.ke - An estimated four million people in Kenya suffer depression, according to the Africa Mental Health Foundation (AMHF). This means that one out of every 10 Kenyans is depressed. Over the past few years, cases of suicide and family murders have been common in Kenya. “Just eight out of 100 older people suffer depression, which is a mental disorder,” the research led by professor David Ndetei from the University of Nairobi, found.
“Suicidal symptoms have previously not been clinically recognised, and little attention has been paid to suicide reports, as suicide is still considered a taboo in the Kenyan society. There is a need for clinical practice that routinely enquires about suicidal symptoms in medical wards,” the research report recommends. The World Health Organisation (WHO), indicates that globally, more than 350 million people suffer from depression and that it is responsible for 850,000 deaths every year.

WHO stated in 2012 that it is hard for those suffering from the condition to seek medical attention because of the stigma that is still attached to depression and mental disorders. Depression is different from usual mood fluctuations. It induces a sustained feeling of sadness for more than two weeks and interferes with the ability to function at work, school, and home. 
According to WHO, depression results from a complex interaction of social, psychological, and biological factors. The condition has a relationship with deteriorated physical health. 
“Cardiovascular disease, for example, can cause depression and vice versa,” Prof Ndetei indicated. Circumstances such as economic pressure, unemployment, disaster, and conflicts also increase the risk of the disorder, which is the leading cause of suicide.

Lord Ganapati or Ganesha is known to help human beings in their difficulties and He enables man to achieve the success by providing strength and courage. The author of the article, Apoorva Srivastav, explains the reason why Ganesha is called 'ek danta'. The story says, once his mother Parvati went to take a bath. She told Ganesha to stand on the entrance and not allow anyone to enter inside. Then, Lord Parashuram arrived there and he tried to enter the place where Parvati was taking a bath. But when Ganesha objected to this, Parashuram got angry and attacked Ganesha with his weapon. Ganesha then lost one of his teeth and was named "Ek Danta". Ganesha is considered as the Lord who overcomes all obstacles. 

WHAT DO THE VEDIC TEACHINGS TELL US? 

While spiritual practices are the ultimate cure for all depression, the very nature of depression sometimes prevents spiritual seekers from doing the very things that could help them out of the quagmire. For a jaundiced person, candy, the cure for the disease, tastes bitter. But if the patient keeps eating the candy, the jaundice is cured and the candy tastes sweet again. In our diseased material consciousness, chanting Hare Krishna - the cure - may often seem difficult, but as we advance in our spiritual consciousness, the chanting becomes sweeter and more and more enjoyable. … So while we should encourage others to take to the spiritual remedy of chanting, we may need to encourage them to get medical help as well. We should never ignore the symptoms of clinical depression in ourselves or in our family or friends.

Śrīmati Arcana-siddhi devi dasi :
“Dealing with Depression”
Vaisnava Family Resources
http://www.vaisnavafamilyresources.org/articles
http://www.vaisnavafamilyresources.org/content/dealing-depression

Published by dasavatara das - "Vedic Views on World News"
http://www.vedicviews-worldnews.blogspot.com.ar/