From Suck to Blow: The Storm Before the Calm

First of all, I'd like to thank the many people who sent well-wishings and messages of support over the weekend as hurricane Irene ambled towards New York City at speeds of up to 14mph, like a cyclo-tourist with panniers full of destruction. However, as much as I'd like to thank everybody, I can't, because I didn't receive any well-wishings or messages of support at all. Instead, I was forced to stock up on a week's worth of cheese steaks with the sad knowledge that my fate meant little to anybody:

(Translation: "Hot, from having recently been grilled, steaks in the Philadelphia cheeseway.")

Fortunately, New York City didn't receive nearly as much damage as was anticipated, and I extend my sympathies to those who elsewhere who were affected far more adversely than we were. Nevertheless, I find myself dismayed by what seems to be a growing "You New Yorkers are 'woosies' when it comes natural disasters" sentiment. I noticed it first when Californians scoffed at our little earthquake last Wednesday, and it seemed to continue when we shut down the entire city and evacuated a bunch of people who, for the most part, probably could have just stayed at home eating "hot" cheese steaks.

If you're one of these people (a "New Yorkers are weather 'woosies'" person, not a "sitting at home eating 'hot' cheese steaks" person), I humbly request that you keep two (2) things in mind:



1) Life is much harder in New York City than it is in the rest of Canada's pannier, and on a daily basis we're subject to a degree of difficulty and indignity that most people will never have to experience. If you've never shared a crowded subway car with a homeless person who has recently soiled himself, been kicked in the face by an errant street performer, or shopped at Fairway supermarket on a Sunday (three people were recently trampled to death at the free olive oil sampling station), then you have no right to criticize us. We pay thousands of dollars a month to live in apartments that are worse than your crappiest storm shelters, and laying any sort of "weather event" on top of all this this creates the sort of hardship that would have even the most hardy natural disaster veteran crying to FEMA.

2) Our national image has become somewhat tarnished, so as a "real" city New York is one of very few things that keep this country from devolving into a complete laughingstock to the rest of the world. It's bad enough that our status as one of the world's great cities is already being undermined by designer beard-wearing curators of artisanal handicrafts, so therefore any additional threats to our status and well-being (or at least our distorted concept of what qualifies as well-being) should be taken very seriously. Without New York City, the United States is Los Angeles, Chicago, and a bunch of smaller towns that may or may not have a Cheesecake Factory in them. If this doesn't worry you, it should, because if New York City is washed away then America will simply become that place Canadians visit to do their bargain shopping.



This is not to say that people in other parts of the country are not culturally enlightened or well-versed in the art of creative expression. Consider Virginia Beach, where a man exposed his "pants yabbies" during the Weather Channel's hurricane coverage:



In an America Without New York, the country would effectively become a giant college town, and you'd be likely to see this sort of behavior constantly, even during the State of the Union address.

Speaking of the hurricane, most New Yorkers spent the days preceding it stocking up on provisions, which could explain why one woman in Williamsburg was "portaging" a bunch of wooden logs:



The girl on the bike with wooden logs on her back - m4w - 30 (Bedford Ave/Williamsburg)

Date: 2011-08-26, 10:53AM EDT

Reply to:



You - the sweet girl in burgundy dress with such major connfidence,



Me - the Jewish guy in car,



You looked at me and said such a lovely HEY!



I wanna see you again and say a lovely HI!



I'm not sure if she planned to burn the logs for fuel, or if she was anticipating having to "curate" a log cabin shelter by hand using her artisanal axe, but either way I find this budding cross-cultural romance tremendously inspiring, especially given the strained relations between the "hilpsters" and the Hasidim in this area.



Somewhat less inspiring is this indication that incidents of "smugness baiting" may be on the rise:



"I'm annoyed by your smugness" - m4w - 28 (dean st.)

Date: 2011-08-25, 1:31AM EDT

Reply to:



What I yelled back was, "You're so cute, I was sorry I passed". Want to have coffee or a bike ride?

As a smug cyclist myself, I urge you to refrain from hurling anti-smugness epithets such as the one above when we are out "portaging." After all, hath not a smug cyclist two wheels? Hath not a smug cyclist a load of organic groceries? If you tip us, do we not topple? If you ridicule us, do we not become unduly sensitive? If you ask us about our bicycles, do we not unfurl soporific discourses on the relative merits of frontal versus rearward weight distribution? Hath not David Byrne, the Patron Saint of Smugness, a car?

Well, actually, no, I guess he hathn't.

While I'm on the subject of smugness, as commenter "CE" pointed out last week, some sort of Internet 2.0 nü-media social circle-jerking networking company or whatever they are has employed some sort of algorithm to determine the "most influential cycling bloggers:"

Evidently, the most influential cycling blog is Copenhagen Cycle Chic:





I certainly have no issues with being "dethroned" from the top spot on a meaningless list, nor do I have any illusions that I have any influence at all, though I was puzzled by their explanation:



At least 11 of the Top 50 cycling bloggers here are women. Cycling Chic Copenhagen has started a global movement — we can see many links pointing to her. This sub-community is rocking the blogosphere, or shall say women are rocking it! Women bloggers are a definite force to be reckoned with in the cycling world.

Now, I love to see women "rocking it!" and all, but I'm also pretty sure Copenhagen Cycle Chic is not a "her," since it was started by Mikael Colville-Andersen:

(Oh no, he's talking about helments! Seek shelter immediately!!!)

And while he may bear at least a stunt double's resemblance to Metallica drummer Lars Ulrich, he is clearly not a woman. Yes, I do believe the site has some female contributors, but according to the site's own FAQ it all started when Colville-Andersen took a picture of a woman from behind:

HOW DID THE BLOG START?

The photos came first. One photo in particular started it all off. Mikael has been involved in street photography for some time and one day he snapped a fellow cyclist in the morning rush hour. All at once a theme, a visual style and a subject was born.

That style? Surreptitiously taking photos of hot Danish chicks:

Now, don't get me wrong--I have nothing but respect for Mikael Colville-Andersen and his "Cycle Chic" empire, and he is clearly the Hugh Hefner of bicycle advocacy. However, maybe the people that made this list should take the time to look at the actual blogs, because if Colville-Andersen is a woman blogger then I should get some acknowledgement for being one of the rare cycling bloggers with an indigenous Australian background.



Speaking of doing stuff from behind, a reader tells me a writer for British newsing paper The Guardian named Peter Walker is actually questioning whether or not Cat 6 commuter wheelsucking is acceptable:





How is this even the subject of debate? Of course it is not acceptable, for the same reasons you shouldn't draft people when you're driving to work in your car. (Unless you're David Byrne, in which case you don't have one.) How come we never see articles in the automotive sections of newspapers that ask, "Where do you stand on tailgating?" Yet, shockingly, the writer not only supports commuter drafting, but also performs domestique duties for his wheelsuckers:



My position's pretty clear: I'm happy to either draft or be drafted. With the former I don't go ludicrously close to another bike's rear wheel and I'm vigilant in case my temporary helper has to brake or swerve to avoid something. And if we reach a red light I'll often try to set off quickly so as to offer a reciprocal helping hand. When in front I indicate well in advance, and point a helpful finger towards upcoming potholes and the like.



Wow, do they also get a "happy ending" with all that? Even more amazingly, he's surprised when he drafts people and they don't like it:

These malcontents react in different ways: some turn round and scowl; others begin weaving round the lane, slowing down or speeding up. One young man's facial expression was so laughably aggrieved – you'd have thought I'd propositioned his mother – that when we stopped at a red traffic light I felt obliged to ask him, politely, why he so objected to being drafted. "Look," he hissed, "we're individuals, we're not in this together. We're cycling alone. Don't you get that?" Even by London's famously misanthropic standards this was strong stuff.



I couldn't agree more with this so-called "malcontent." You are not automatically at someone's disposal just because you are both on bikes--the normal rules of society apply. Is it OK to follow someone at a distance of two inches when you're walking just because you're both wearing sneakers? No it isn't. In reading this article it became increasingly clear to me that Peter Walker must be the most irritating cyclist in London, and it must be incredibly disconcerting not being able to ride around the city without constantly turning around and seeing this:

("Would you mind terribly if I had sex with your mother?")

It should go without saying, then, that Peter Walker's solution to all of this is completely insane:

There is, of course, an obvious answer: if someone clearly doesn't like being drafted then don't do it.

Yes, this is a great approach. Just imagine if we extended this to every other manner of rude and unacceptable human interaction, too. After all, as I always say, "If a stranger clearly doesn't like it when you fondle their buttocks on public transportation then don't do it." The only people who are allowed to just do stuff to other people until they're told to stop aren't people at all; they're dogs. Sure, a dog can get away with sticking his muzzle in your crotch or humping your leg until you register your objection, but if people start acting the same way then human society becomes little more than a dog pack and the next thing you know your dinner guests are drinking from your toilet and urinating on your carpet.

Though I do acknowledge that, in certain social circles, these are indications that the dinner party was a huge success.

Nevertheless--or perhaps because of it--I remain a firm believer in keeping your distance.

I Survived Irene!

It was the "Doomsday Scenario". It was the "50 year storm". There was non-stop, wall to wall coverage of this monster hurricane on the Weather Channel and the news channels. Weathermen and weatherwomen across the nation were standing out in the storm. Many of them have prepared all their lives for such a moment! They were going to have their perfect storm and nobody, including mother nature, was going to deprive them of it.

We were all awestruck and trembling in our boots as we watched the category 1 monster slam into the outer banks of North Carolina! Never before has that state suffered such a fate!

New York Mayor, Nanny Bloomberg, was wringing his hands telling New Yorkers to "get out" reminding them that failure to do so was "illegal". Nanny Bloomberg just loves telling people what to do. After all, he knows best. The average New Yorker is just a blithering dumbass. Wonder what Bloomberg is going to do with all those lawbreakers?

Shepard Smith on the Fox News Channel actually peed his pants 4 or 5 times as he watched the storm approach. It is a good thing for Shepard that there was not a car chase going on in Los Angeles. Otherwise he would have had to do split screen commentary. The Dimocrats have said, "Never let a crisis go to waste." Smith has been heard to say, "Never let a car chase go to waste!"

I was reassured when Hussein Obama finally came on TV to "take charge". He can lower the sea level with a wag of his finger doncha know?

I was even more relieved when MSNBC brought Ray "Schoolbus" Nagin, former New Orleans mayor, on camera to discuss emergency preparedness!

I find it so invigorating when people who generally cannot find their butts with both hands come around to lend their sage advice.

Of course, as I already predicted, the Algore types are saying that the massive category 1 Irene is a signal of "climate change". You just knew it was going to happen.

A couple of days ago I changed from Fox News to the Weather Channel. "Why did you do that?" sweet Wifey asked.

"Because Geraldo Rivera just came on to talk about the Hurricane." I replied.

Sweet Wifey pointed out to me that one good thing about the hurricane was that we actually got WEATHER on the Weather Channel instead of the usual Storm Stories or Jim Cantori's, TALES FROM THE CRYPT. I actually got a little aggravated at Jim Cantori because when they would put the "hurricane expert" on to discuss the storm, Jim Cantori would keep talking......he just wouldn't shut up. Did any of y'all notice that?

It was touch and go there for a while, but with a good stiff drink and some Cheyenne and Maverick reruns stored on the DVR, sweet Wifey and I somehow miraculously survived Irene!

Paul Rudd is not an idiot in personal life at all as in "Our Idiot Brothers"

"Clueless," "Wet Hot American Summer," "Anchorman," "40 Year-Old-Virgin," "Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers," star Paul Rudd, 42, is not an idiot in his personal life at all as we see in "Our Idiot Brothers." This actor and producer is one of the greatest of his kind especially comic in Hollywood. He is unafraid of embracing slightly dorky characters who make people laugh and have enjoyment.

In his new film, "Our Idiot Brother" opening on Friday, he embraces his inner hippie and shares the screen with three high-powered actresses (Elizabeth Banks, Zooey Deschanel and Emily Mortimer) playing his neurotic New York sisters. His character -- the under-achieving, homeless, Croc-wearing brother Ned -- wreaks havoc in their lives. Rudd recently sat down with Reuters to talk about portraying the easy-going Ned, the joys of tie-dyed T-shirts and why he's not shy about kissing dogs.

Paul Rudd in "Our Idiot Brothers"

He said whenever asked whether "Our Idiot Brothers" is a broad comedy, "Not at all. There's lots of drama. You hear the title and see the main character with his beard and long hair, but I don't think Ned's an idiot. He's a gentle soul, and makes some idiotic decisions -- there's no getting around that. But we wanted to make it very clear he's living his life a certain way, and it's a conscious decision. He has an ethic he subscribes too, and it's not always easy for him. The cracks show in some scenes, and that's important. You don't want it to look like he's just out to lunch."

Rashida Jones kissing Zooey Deschanel as a lesbian, advised by Natalie Portman

In "Our Idiot Brother" that hits the big screen on  Friday August 26, Rashida Jones plays the role of Cindy and she is a girlfriend of Zooey Deschanel, playing the role of Natalie. But they are lesbian and that earns mixed comments from various critics as Francisco Cronicle says it "really funny and true to life". Boston Globe even goes so far as to call it as, "emotionally bogus."

Leaving all this the "Park and Recreation" star Rashida Jones are advised by Natalie Portman about how skillfully a lesbian kiss can be given as she had experienced the lesbian kissing in "Black Swan."

"I'm friends with Natalie and I asked her [what to expect]," says Rashida. "She was like, 'Dude, it's awkward to make out with your friends - I'm just warning you right now. It's super awkward!"

"It was totally fun," says Rashida. "I mean, it was slightly awkward, only because Zooey and I have known each other for a long time. It's kind of weird to kiss your friends. But, you know, she's so pretty - she doesn't make it that hard!" "I should give [Zooey] a name, right?" adds Rashida. "I would just call her 'Softy.' She's soft... very soft."

The full cast members in "Our Idiot Brothers" are:

• Paul Rudd as Ned


• Elizabeth Banks as Miranda


• Zooey Deschanel as Natalie, ned's sister.


• Emily Mortimer as Liz


• Kathryn Hahn as Janet


• Steve Coogan as Dylan


• Hugh Dancy as Christian


• Rashida Jones as Cindy


• Shirley Knight as Ilene


• T. J. Miller as Billy


• Adam Scott as Jeremy


• Janet Montgomery as Lady Arabella


• Matthew Mindler as River


• Sterling K. Brown as Omar


• James Biberi as Gus

Zooey Deschanel

Rashida Jones

GENUINE Conservatism!

I know most of you that are paying attention have already heard Senator Marco Rubio's speech from the Reagan Library. If you have not heard it, mute the TV, put down everything else you're doing, click on the video below, give it your undivided attention, and WATCH and LISTEN.

After watching this speech I had a lump in my throat and a chill down my spine. This was much the same feeling I had the first time I heard Ronald Reagan speak. Here is a true conservative. You can tell by watching that this man loves America. He would never ever apologize for her greatness. He is unscripted. You can tell he truly believes everything he says. There is nothing phoney or contrived.

In this day of Hussein Obama's, Joe Biden's, Harry Reid's, and Nancy Pelosi's, how inspiring and refreshing it is to hear someone really telling the truth. I told sweet wifey that this man needs to be president one day......if we survive that long. Now go watch and listen.

Family Visit

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,



So before the family even came in this weekend, Lilie came into town with her family… and we met up for breakfast at Honey Honey Café & Crepery a few blocks from where she was staying. Great little place, fairly priced, and have a wide selection of crepes, eggs Benedict & I can personally attest to their great crab cakes Florentine with a side of breakfast potatoes. It was great catching up with her since she’s been living the dream the past few months with her fiancé, trips to France, moving back home to Utah from SoCal, few trips to Vegas, like I said… living the dream. I couldn’t be happier for her. But enough about her… this isn’t her blog… then again, I don’t think she’s updated hers in almost a year she’s been so busy actually having a life. Back to me & my family’s visit to the Bay Area.



Thursday night, my brother & C-Rock drove 13 hours straight to get to my house around 7 PM, so I took them on a hike around the neighborhood, ordered some Chinese food, cracked open a few beers & we watched “Your Highness” starring Danny McBride, James Franco & Natalie Portman. This movie is a hilarious, raunchy retelling of the usual medieval magical tales. Basically you have two princes, one who is the perfect heir to the throne Fabius (Franco) and the other who is a bit of a spoiled pompous ass who enjoys too much of the weed, Thaddeus (McBride)… so kind of like the Spin Doctors song. Anyway, Fabius is engaged to a beautiful maiden (Zooey Deschanel, rrrrrrr…) but she is kidnapped by an evil sorcerer. Now the brothers must join forces to rescue her. Along the way they meet a superhot warrior princess (Portman) and blah blah blah. I don’t do a good job of expressing how funny the story is… but it really is. Think of “Pineapple Express” meets “King Arthur” or something. Did I just blow your mind? I knew it.



Friday, I worked, but then met up with my mom, stepdad, niece & nephew in Chinatown for some dinner at R&G Lounge and some wandering through the shops. I’ve missed those kids… and they’ve missed me (even saying so repeatedly) so we had fun. They’re getting to be little chatterboxes too. After that, we met up at my apartment with my brother & C-Rock, and basically, I went with them to their hotel because we were going to go to Six Flags in the morning… and my brother apparently needs to be near me at all possible times… because he misses me too. Too bad that I can barely stand him. He’s just such a douche to my mom, and really anybody in general, and he’s a bigot, and a hypocrite, and really has to no money, job, life, reason for being, means of providing for his children, couth, etiquette, logical deduction abilities or personality… but hey, somebody has to give a damn about him, right? Don’t worry, he’s about to burn that bridge too, I’m sure of it. I had to tell him to stop talking to my mother in a berating tone or he was not welcome in my apartment… so we left so that my mom & the kids could have fun… and we had fun for a bit at the hotel. Yeah… couldn’t see my niece & nephew much that first night… because my brother is a giant worthless child. Great start, right?

Saturday, Kiel, C-Rock & I went to Six Flags… and we had fun, even though I play a little game sometimes with my brother. I count how many nice things he can say in an entire day… even when it’s going to a theme park for free like today… and he got to three… the entire day. The rest of the time, he was complaining about traffic, other people, other races, the state of California, how expensive everything is (that he’s not paying for), why he has to drive everywhere (because it’s his car & he insisted, by the way), the temperature (too hot AND too cold), my job (because he couldn’t talk about his), what other people are wearing, why everything’s in Spanish too (and occasionally Mandarin), just blah blah blah… and the three good things said were “That ride was pretty cool”, “These chicken tenders aren’t too bad” (followed by rant about how expensive they are), and “That line was pretty quick”. All of which were said once. Again, because I’m used to it though, I still had a great time… and just learned to zone him out most of the time.



Aside from all of that, Six Flags Vallejo is pretty nice. I highly recommend it and the thrill rides are great. Weird thing was the height limit on the adult rides… so I claimed that I was 6’3” a few times. “Could you stand up against the measuring wall please?” “Absolutely.” Just made it… and luckily they weren’t even paying attention to the bent knees and/or wide stance. “Okay, enjoy.” Sorry, didn't take my camera. After the park, we eventually made our way (through traffic that Kiel insisted on driving through despite my warnings, so that was fun to hear about) to my apartment, and then I got to have some fun with the kids. Apparently they got to go on a boat ride in the bay and under the bridges (so f**king jealous) and then the aquarium. Yeah… the day that I wanted to have with them, I spent listening to my brother b**ch about a theme park & how it’s full of people on a Saturday. Love my life sometimes. Anyway, that night, I slept downstairs with the kiddies like a little sleepover. Good times.



Sunday, we went out to Fairyland in Oakland & the kids LOVED it… that is, until my brother came in & caused a huge fuss because… not sure, I think because he had to wait five minutes to get into the park because we arrived early & rather than sit in the car, went in without him & he’s a worthless b**ch without a dime to his name & couldn’t get into the park. Yeah, I think that was why… but he caused a little scene, until I stepped in again, told him to unbunch the panties, because I didn’t pay $8 for him to come into the park & ruin everybody’s time. He calmed down, then we had fun. The park was pretty sweet actually. Here are pictures…

"Don't do it, Humpty!!!"

Snow White looks like she just got back

from a sorority party...

Why this picture?

Read the sign...

Simply majestic...

After Fairyland, we drove over to the U.S.S. Hornet, an WWII aircraft carrier that is now a museum in the port of Alameda (also featured on “Ghost Adventurers”) and that was a lot of fun too. Here are pictures of that… sorry, no ghosts... but very similar to my trip to San Diego & the USS Midway...

Downtown Oakland

After that, we went into Oakland’s Chinatown and had dinner at the Silver Dragon Restaurant… and again, my brother caused a bit of a scene. Why? Because he snapped at one of the kids for pointing with a chopstick or something, my mom said something like calm down, and he proceeded to tell her in very profane language that he has no idea how to be a parent, she should remain quiet at all times & his children are not to listen to her (only be watched & provided for by her apparently), he’s in control of everything (sun, moon, sky, whatever?), blah blah blah… so I polite told him to close his mouth, enjoy this wonderful vacation of which he hasn’t spent a dime on, including the meal he was about to receive, keep his criticisms to himself as he is the only person who wishes to hear about them, & allow his children, who are not his pets, to have fun as well. He then tried to stare me down & tell me what was what… but that b**ch apparently has no idea how little I care about him personally. I’m not even phased by his comments anymore… because I consider the source. Anyway, food was great. He calmed down. Maybe he just needs more naps like his kids or a change of his diaper or something. Or maybe just checked by his brother. I don’t know. The important thing is the kids had fun once he learned to shut up & enjoy himself.



Sunday night, he & C-Rock stayed at the hotel, the rest of us were at my apartment watching “Toy Story 3” and other movies. I’d tell you what they were about… but I really don’t know because the kids were too busy showing me what they could do & were just too excited to watch the movie. They just wanted to play with Uncle $teve… and then my brother showed up again… because he wanted to do the same… no joke… and so I tried to split time with them before he left & we went to bed.



Monday, I spent the day working but afterwards met up with the whole family at the Thirsty Bear Brewery. Great little place with some pretty good beer (I recommend the Golden Vanilla), games upstairs like pool, darts, etc, great service… but just be warned that it’s Spanish Tapas menu. Which if you’re chilling with friends with exotic & explorative taste buds, then it’s absolutely perfect. However, if you’re having the first real meal of the day for a family of rednecks, expect to hear a few comments. Luckily there were a few items like meatballs & mini hamburgers for the kids… and once they tried some of the food that I recommended, they enjoyed it. I didn’t know about the Spanish cuisine… but luckily it worked out pretty well. Definitely a great place for hanging out though.



After dinner, we went to the hotel for a dip in the pool & hot tub. Kairi & Vinny loved showing off their swimming abilities (and their floaties) and we just had a great time. After the dip, it was bedtime, so I gave them my hugs & kisses goodbye because they were leaving in the morning… and I wouldn’t see them until Christmas (but given the way work has been lately, even that’s in question). Then I dropped Kiel & C-Rock off on my way back to my apartment. First night in my bed in a few so it was pretty good. Apartment still looks like a mess, but hey, Kiel & C-Rock will be staying until Friday morning, so I’ll take care of it over the weekend.



Tuesday morning, I went to work… and about an hour into my shift, I hear my boss talking to someone behind me… and it’s a familiar voice… my mom’s. Apparently Kairi & Vinny wanted to give me more hugs & kisses before they drove back home… so my mom stopped by my work, walked in the door, asked the first person she saw about me, and it so happened to be my boss who escorted her to my closet office. So I said bye to the kids again, shook off a few tears while doing it, gave em all hugs, and they drove off while I went back to work. I’m gonna miss those little scamps… but I’ll see them again soon hopefully. You never know how things work out.



Anyway, that should do it for the weekend portion. There’ll be more updates to come with my brother’s continued visit… but apparently not a trip to the Rock because I couldn't get time off approved through work. Lame I know... but honestly, I'm not too broken hearted about it. I've been there. Just would nice for my bro & C-Rock to go... and apparently they won't go without me. Oh well. Have a great day everybody!!! To be continued...

Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith still together proving the seperation news false.

"Man in Black" star Will Smith and his wife Jada Pinkett Smith are still together and it is confirmed through a number of sources. There was a rumour that they would go for a separation. InTouch Weekly confirmed the news on Monday August 22. Just a day after the news they were seen out in public smiling and laughing, and the Bieb even wrote about the happy couple on his Twitter page. And, the Bieb doesn't lie.  The 17-year-old star, who's friends with the couple's teen son Jaden, wrote on his page: "Will and Jada are one of the best couples ever. #FACT #real".

On the same day of the news being published TMZ contacted Jada's rep , who was sleeping at the time. She told the caller: "What? In Touch said that? I know nothing about this ... Lord. I'm going back to bed."

Later that day, Trey Smith, Will's 18-year old son from another marriage tweeted: "Did #WillandJada split? No they did NOT split! False information ... its not true RETWEET!!!" He went on to tweet eight more comments throughout the day promising they're very much still together with #ItsAllLies tacked on the end of each remark.

Eventually, Will and Jada released a strange joint statement, dispelling the rumors:  "Although we are reluctant to respond to these types of press reports, the rumors circulating about our relationship are completely false. We are still together, and our marriage is intact." 

Even yesterday the couple was spotted out having a blast together and smiling for the cameras. Convincing, right? The rumour game is going round will, as a few months earlier he was rumored dead while shooting on a hill in New Zealand.