Marni for H&M

With Versace still in the shops, H&M has already announced their next collaboration with Marni. On March 8th 2012, a Marni at H&M collection is released worldwide! The spring collection will have women and menswear clothes as well as accessories. I think it will be great as I love Marni, always playful and elegant. Can't wait!

Vidya’s dirty new avatar

Raising the temperature this winter is our girl-next-door turned bold and ultra-hot, Vidya Balan. When the first trailer of ‘The Dirty Picture’ came out, the nation was surprised to see Vidya in this never seen before avatar. She has completely shed off her simple and sweet image to fit into the character of Silk Smitha, the early 80s sex symbol of South Indian movies.

With ‘The Dirty Picture’, Vidya Balan has proved that to look hot and sexy, you don’t need to have a svelte figure, be a size zero or don a bikini. Even with a fuller body, you can look like a bombshell. Her new look is creating waves in the internet world. Netizens are downloading her images, videos and everything about Vidya. This craze for the Ooh la la girl is something which was never witnessed before.

Other than some intimate scenes and liplocks in her earlier films, she has always maintained a clean image and is mostly seen in sarees. People may be stunned with this sudden change of Vidya, but, there’s no denying the fact that they are loving it. It won’t be surprising if she becomes the fantasy of Indian guys.

Astrology says:

Born on January 1, 1978, Vidya belongs to the zodiac sign Capricorn. Capricorns are diligent, conscientious, hardworking and cautious, seldom allowing themselves any sort of permissiveness; this makes them among the most reliable people to work with. Being a Capricorn, she can endure hardship well, and can be very tolerant. She says she will not have any issue if tagged as the sex symbol after ‘The Dirty Picture.’

Vidya is highly ambitious and will work her way up with patience and hard work - exactly like the mountain goat that represents her sun sign. She will be admired for her sense of duty, her devotion towards her work. She is sure-footed and most of her productivity is the result of the confidence she brings to her work. The last few months of 2012 will again be very crucial for her on her career front.

Numbers can change your fortune! Jumaani reveals the mantra of a successful life with numbers.Order Jumaani-Personalized Numerology report and find out the route to a more happening and better life.

When Sanny Claus Becomes Nanny Claus

I always thought it was the responsibility of the head of the household to determine what material things could be afforded by the family and adjust budgets accordingly. I would assume that would apply to Christmas shopping as well. If times are tight then, well, you just don't spend as much. You might have to tell the little kiddies that you just can't afford to pay Santa Claus as much as you did last year. In fact I remember when I was a kid that was the tactic my parents used to explain to me that Christmas presents were not free. My Momma used to tell me that Daddy would have to figure out a way to "pay Santa Claus". So from my very early remembrances I was under the impression that nothing in life, including Christmas, is free. Of course the other alternative is the gubment model of taking your piece of plastic and incurring enormous debt that probably won't be paid off before next year's Christmas.

Well, now I have discovered that personal responsibility for the family debt has been removed from the breadwinner and instead has been assigned to Santa Clause himself. Students of the Charles W. Howard Santa Claus School in Midland, Michigan are being taught to "lower children's expectations in the economic downturn"

"They should also take a look at the children's parents and 'size them up' before promising them something that their mother and father can't afford."

This is a very sad commentary on the state of life in these United States here in 2011. In the first place we have all these little entitlement minded kids running around wanting this, that, and the other thing, thinking that money grows on trees. Well it's no wonder when you look at the behavior of the glorious federal gubment. And then you have wimpy parents that don't have the stones to explain to little Johnny that perhaps we can't afford to pay Santa Claus for his platinum covered, diamond studded new game controller this year. No, instead all these tough decisions are going to be left up to good old Santa Claus.

Here's a good one:

"The school has also been advising its pupils on how to deal with such questions as: 'Can you bring my daddy a job?'"

My answer, "Fire Hussein Obama!" Wow! Santa Claus school would be a snap for me.

I guess I didn't even know there was such a thing as a Santa Claus school. In fact I never even considered making a career as a Santa Claus. We had better be careful because some of the mainstream institutions of higher learning may start offering degrees in "Santa Claus". And of course we'll have more whining from the alumni that they can't find a job or pay back their student loans along with those that majored in Basket Weaving and Urban Studies in Upper Volta. 

Boys and girls, when Santa Claus is tasked with making our financial decisions, we are in serious trouble. By the way, just in case you forgot, you can celebrate the birth of Jesus for FREE! Won't cost you a thing! 

 The Charles W. Howard Santa Claus School. Tuition $415 for a three day Santa Claus course.

Go HERE to read all about how to convert Sanny Claus into a Nanny Claus.

England go 2-0!

Full report from ScrumQueens - up online within a minute of the whistle!Great win by the younger end of the England squad - 21-7. Whitewash looks on for the weekend!

Don't Masturbate on Your Laptop or Cell Phone

The quest by the left never ends as they attempt to vilify our cell phones and now our laptop computers as a health hazard. Of course the ultimate goal is creation of more frivolous lawsuits for shyster lawyers and more regulation and TAXES on our electronic devices by gubment.

The latest nonsense comes from Argentina where they placed semen samples UNDERNEATH A LAPTOP COMPUTER and then got on the internet. Their contention is that electromagnetic radiation from the WIFI transmitter in the computer inactivated the sperm and that sperm located some distance away from the laptop remained viable. Of course the so called conclusion is that placing a laptop on your lap will zap your sperm. They mentioned the same effect from cell phone signals.

Now I don't know how many of you have noticed, but most laptops get pretty warm on the bottom. In fact my old dead Compaq had vents that blew hot air out the bottom. If anything is deactivating the sperm I would guess the HEAT from the computer might be the culprit rather than any radio frequency energy. Besides, if you're trying to impregnate your significant other, are you going to bop your baloney underneath your computer, collect it, and then artificially inseminate her? Besides that, the WIFI signal from a computer is of very low power, just a few milliwatts, and a completely different frequency from a cell phone signal which is by the way much more powerful. After all, the phone has to make it all the way to a cell tower while the computer just has to make it to your wireless enabled modem.

Anyway, I just had a GREAT idea. We could save millions of dollars on vasectomies, tubal ligations, condoms, birth control pills, and unwanted pregnancies. Just stick your cell phone between your legs for about half an hour before you do the dirty deed. Problem solved. I believe I will petition the gubment for a couple of million dollars to study my alternative birth control solution.

Go HERE to read all about this nonsense.

Get Your New Poo Tattoo

If you're a regular reader of GROUCH, you'll know that I don't care much for tattoos. No, I basically think it is stupid and a bad life choice to permanently plaster some hideous image on your body. No, I don't give a rat's ass about your need to express yourself.

So this dude who is a tattoo artist apparently got pissed off at his girlfriend who is into bad life choices. She wanted him to tattoo some kind of scene from the Narnia Trilogy on her back. Now my first question is why would anyone in their right mind want that nonsense tattooed on their back? Alas, I digress.......

Well, the tattoo artist was angry cause he found out his girlfriend had been cheating on him. Instead he tattooed a big, steaming pile of poo, complete with swarming flies on her backside.

Of course she was outraged and is suing for damages. Actually I think it is pretty funny and I don't feel a bit sorry for her. This is the risk you run when you make poor life choices. Bwaa Haa Haa.

Go HERE to read all about it.

Green Bottle Fly.....Fresh poo! Yum! Chomp chomp!

Second test - LIVE

Quick reminder that the Second Test starts in 30 minutes - and will be streamed LIVE from http://www.rfu.com/englandwomenlive. FREE!If you miss it, recordings will be available later on the same page.