Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Royale Wit Cheese

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

My phone simply stopped working for about...twelve hours yesterday...and I have no idea why...but it apparently started working just in time for me to try to go to bed because of an early workday today...and over a dozen text messages came in around 11 PM last night...and my brother called around midnight...and he asked me what I thought about the new Transformers...and I basically spent the next half hour telling him how stupid I thought it was...and then said, "Look dude, I've got to get to sleep, so we'll just watch it together sometime...and I'll explain bit by bit what I think was stupid, okay?" So there you go. That was my yesterday. Exciting, right?

Great Steve Bankrupt - Court records show actor Stephen Baldwin is millions of dollars in debt and has filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy. A filing Tuesday in federal court in New York shows that Baldwin owes $1.2 million in two mortgages on a property about 30 miles north of New York City valued at $1.1 million. The document shows he also owes more than $1 million in taxes and has about $70,000 in credit card debt. His wife, Kennya Baldwin, is also named in the filing. Baldwin's lawyer, Bruce Weiner (tehehe), did not immediately return a message left for him late Tuesday. Baldwin has appeared in several films including "The Usual Suspects" and "Bio-Dome." Last month, he left the Costa Rican set of the NBC show "I'm a Celebrity ... Get Me Out of Here!" after he said he got more than 125 insect bites in eight days. Now, it's amazing to hear that somebody can get millions of dollars in debt by surprise. Sure, he was tied up in a lot of real estate and had two mortgages on a home...but come on man, there had to be signs that your career was on the downside...like I don't know, starring in a reality TV series. I know the economy is tough (believe me) but I just can't see the great Steve Baldwin being turned down in an interview for a job at Wal-Mart or a check cashing place or something. "Hi, I'm Bob. Nice to meet you. Please, have a seat. Hmm, excuse me, you must get this all the time...but you look just like Stephen Baldwin's older brother." "Here's my resume." "Thank you. Oh my God. Oh my GOD!!! You're...you're Stephen f**king Baldwin!!!" "Yeah. I've been out of work for a while & I was checking through the classifieds and saw your..." "Dude! You're Stephen f**king Baldwin!!!" "Sir, I'm sorry could we..." "Do that think from the Usual Suspects! Gimme the cash you mother f**king c*cksucker!!!" "I'd rather not sir. Can we just..." "Come on, man. I'll give you the job..." "GIMME THE CASH YOU MOTHER F**KING C*CKSUCKAAAAH!!!" Another interesting thing, google images of Stephen Baldwin...and tell me if you think you're looking at the same Magnum look from Zoolander in all the pictures too.

New Silly Romance Movie? - Tell me if you see this as a preview for a chick flick. A British man (let's say, Hugh Grant) and his Spanish former sweetheart (Penelope Cruz?) have finally married 16 years after they drifted apart, reunited by a love letter lost behind a fireplace for over a decade, reports said on Monday. Okay, so their names are really Steve Smith and Carmen Ruiz-Perez, both now 42. They fell in love 17 years ago when she was a foreign exchange student in Brixham, southwest England, and got engaged after only a year together...but their relationship ended after she moved France to run a shop in Paris. A few years later, in a bid to rekindle their love, Smith sent a letter to her mother's home in Spain. It was placed on the mantelpiece, but slipped down behind the fireplace and was lost for over a decade. The missing missive was only found when builders removed the fireplace during renovation work. "When I got the letter I didn't phone Steve right away because I was so nervous," Ruiz-Perez told the Herald Express local newspaper. "I nearly didn't phone him at all. I kept picking up the phone then putting it down again...but I knew I had to make the call." When they were reunited, it was as if time had stood still, said Smith, a factory supervisor. "When we met again it was like a film. We ran across the airport into each other's arms. We met up and fell in love all over again. Within 30 seconds of setting eyes on each other we were kissing. I'm just glad the letter did eventually end up where it was supposed to be," he said, after the couple married last Friday. Sweet, right? Maybe a bit too cheesy for real life? Well, allegedly it happened, so deal with it cynics. Filming for "Carmen, My Sweet" starts in March. I'll keep you posted on who gets cast as the respective quirky friends.

Oldest Mom Dies - She devoted years to caring for her mother, who died at age 101. Then Maria del Carmen Bousada embarked on a quest to become a mom herself. She lied to a California fertility clinic to skirt its age limit, and later pointed to her mother's longevity as a reason to expect she'd be around to care for her kids. At age 66 she had twins, becoming the world's oldest new mom — and raising questions about maternity so late in life. Now she is dead at age 69, leaving behind boys not yet 3. Bousada's brother told the Diario de Cadiz newspaper his sister died Saturday, though he did not disclose the cause (we'll just say screaming orgasm leading to cardiac arrest so it's not so tragic). Bousada said in November that she was being treated for stomach cancer. Shortly after her sons, Pau and Christian, were born in December 2006, Bousada reflected on her decision to deceive doctors in order to have a family. "I think everyone should become a mother at the right time for them," she told the British tabloid News of the World, which showed her beaming as she cradled her 1-month-old infants, both dressed in pale blue pajamas. "Often circumstances put you between a rock and a hard place, and maybe things shouldn't have been done in the way they were done, but that was the only way to achieve the thing I had always dreamed of, and I did it." Truly tragic. I guess the bright side is that she got to live out her dream for the last few years of her life...but now those young boys are without a mother...and hopefully her brother or some other family member can take them in.

Well, we can't end today on a sour note like that...so let's see...what do the people want? How about something reassuring...to show you all that dreams do come true? Enjoy.





Have a great day everybody!!!

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