Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
So Sunday night, I was watching a football game with my brother, my buddy Isaiah and a few others...and I heard broadcaster Cris Collinsworth use a word that I had never heard before in the English language - "Favre-ish" or perhaps spelled "Favrish" though inexplicably pronounced "Far-vish". Granted football is full of words and terms that may or may not make any lick of sense...as anybody who doesn't follow football (Lilie, Mad Scientist, JL Clyde, Fidel Castro, etc) may know...but I thought that I would take it upon myself to try to explain a few of them. Also, if you require more one-on-one tutorage (ladies...) then I'm more than happy to offer my encyclopedic knowledge of football, basketball, and just about any sport you'll typically see on Sportscenter to help you understand...or at least have some fun being slightly confused. On the flip side, if ANYBODY out there knows anything about Cricket, I'm all ears. Anyway, here are some terms that might be confusing...and then we'll get to this new word "Favrish"
Note: I'm assuming that you at least know what a quarterback is and have at least seen a game so that you know it's played on a field instead of on top of a tabletop or on a golf course or something. Please let me know if you need further clarification though. I'm all about spreading the knowledge.
End Zone - Nothing like the Twilight Zone, rather this is the goal line. If the team is able to advance the ball in an appropriate manner past this line, then they are awarded with six points.
Audible - Yes, you can hear it. An "audible" is called when the quarterback sees that the play called in the huddle may not work (perhaps the defense is anticipating a similar play or he sees an open opportunity in their defensive positioning), so he'll call a different play while everybody's lined up. This can be extremely difficult in a loud arena.
Blitz - German for "Lightning" this is when the defense sends a few more people than normal after the quarterback...or try to shock & awe the offense by sending in quick, little guys after the quarterback while the bigger guys drop back to defend the pass.
Bomb - Oh yeah, there's a lot of dramatic metaphors in this game. Not to be confused with Da Bomb, a "bomb" is when the quarterback throws the ball faaaaaaar downfield (at least 40 yards or so) towards an intended receiver. If there's only time for one last play and there's a long way to go to the end zone, a "Hail Mary" is an overly dramatic metaphor for when a "bomb" of a pass is thrown into the end zone and a largely manner with which anybody can catch it...but hopefully somebody on their team, thus ending in a touchdown. (See Doug Flutie)
Shotgun - I'm slightly unnerved that this is referring to a formation where the quarterback is standing about 5-7 yards behind the snapper, who is bent over in front of him. Not sure where the shotgun comes into play with that scenario...but perhaps the sport originated in the backwoods of Appalachia.
Pigskin - Further evidence about the backwoods of Appalachia theory ("SQUEEEEEAL!!!") but this is referring to the football. Apparently they were once made out of pig skin before the
Play Action Pass - Basically it's when you fake handing the ball to the running back to fool the defense...and then throw a pass instead.
Bootleg - Nothing to do with fashion...but after a play action pass, then the quarterback runs to the opposite side of the fake hand-off to either run...or more realistically pass. It really makes a lot more sense if I have the little Starting Lineup guys or plastic soldiers or game footage to show you.
Safety - And you thought there was no such thing on a football field...but rather, there are TWO meanings on this term. On defense, there's typically two guys standing about 20 yards back from the line of scrimmage as kind of a last resort defense or like a safety valve to stop a long pass or something. Those two guys are called the safeties. The other meaning is on the rare occasion when a team is tackled inside of the opposite end zone of where they're trying to go...a hundred yards from their goal. If that happens, that is called a safety (and the referee makes a motion like an A in YMCA) and the defense is awarded two points...and they get the ball punted to them.
Punt - The offense has four chances to go ten yards (seems easy enough, right?) but if they get stopped on the fourth down, then the defensive team gets the ball at that spot. However, on the fourth down, the offense can decide to kick the ball away...pushing the defensive team back about 40 yards more on average. The defensive team can catch the ball and try to run it back too. It's actually quite an exciting situation.
Sack - This is when the defense tackles the quarterback behind the line of scrimmage. I have no idea why it's called a sack. Perhaps back in the day of leather helmets, they used to tie them up in a sack and toss them into the river or something...or maybe that just signaled a time-out and then the other players could eat their sack lunch.
Fumble - When that odd-shaped pigskin ball is dropped, it bounces around in quite the odd patterns. In fact, if it's raining or something, you'll see a bunch of 300-pound men trying to jump on top of what appears to be a greased pigskin. It's quite entertaining sometimes. Oh, so yeah, when the ball is dropped, it's called a fumble.
Lateral - In between a backwards pitch & a forward pass...is a lateral pass. This is typically used on an Option Play, where the previously mentioned Bootleg has the quarterback running to one side...and the running back nearby. The reason it's called an Option play is because the quarterback has the option to A) Run the ball himself, B) Throw a lateral pass, basically a pitch to his side to the running back and let him run it, or C) Maybe throw it to a receiver with a forward pass down the field.
PAT - Stands for Point After Touchdown. When you cross the goal line (get into the end zone), you are awarded with six points...but then you also get to kick a 20-yard field goal for an extra point. It may not seem like much...but it has been the deciding factor in quite a few games.
Pooch Kick - See? Michael Vick's kicked out of the league for two years for what he did to dogs...and they have a term like "pooch kick", it just sickens me. On the real though, it's basically the term used for a short punt where they try to get the offensive team as far back as possible...without going into the end zone (because if that happens, then they start at the 20 yard line).
Pump Fake - This is not a celebratory pelvic thrust into the air (though they are pretty fun) but rather when a quarterback fakes the motion of a pass to fool the defense...and then will usually run with it or throw it elsewhere.
Nickel Package - Not an amount of marijuana or a roll of coins...but this is referred to a defense that has five defensive backs instead of the usual four. This is primarily for when the defense anticipates a pass play.
Dime Package - Again, not paraphernalia or coinage, but when the defense has six defensive backs...but I prefer to think of it as what the cheerleader's working with...a total dime package.
Nose Tackle - Yes, this would be painful...and that's why they were the facemasks. However, this term refers to the defensive guy who usually stand in the middle, right in front of the snapper. These men are usually AT LEAST 300 pounds...and usually more like 350. They are big, slow & bulky...but they are essential to a good run defense up the middle. That's why they get paid the big bucks.
Tight End - I have no idea why they're called this...but as you might expect, some of these guys have pretty tight ends. These are offensive linemen who line up on the front line...but can go downfield to catch a pass if needed. They're usually about 6'6" 280 pounds so pretty big targets downfield...or pretty good blockers, depending on the play called.
Special Teams - Similar to the 4 x 100 m relay at the Special Olympics, these are athletes who wear helmets...but that's wear the similarities stop. This is the term for the kicking teams that come out for punts, kickoffs, PATs, and field goals. If balls are getting kicked, these are the guys on the grass. Wait, that might've came out wrong. Yeah, kicking teams. Very important part of the game.
My new favorite word: "Favrish" - Adjective - Apparently this is when something is in a fashion similar to that of Brett Favre, the face of the NFL...who is turning 40 this saturday and still one of the best out there. Hell, I even went into Cowboys Stadium two years back just to see him from several hundred yards away. Honestly, I'm a little worried. These Vikings that he's playing for look really good...and may be real contenders if they stay healthy. However, the definition of this word is as diverse & complex as the man himself. I mean...he owns just about every passing record out there...yet his first NFL completion was to himself for -7 yards. After his rookie year (in which he didn't throw a single pass) with the Atlanta Falcons, he was traded to the Green Bay Packers...for his college teammate Tony Smith (who? exactly?). Then he subbed in for the injured first string quaterback in 1992...and hasn't missed a game since...which is absolutely astonishing for a guy who touches the ball on every single play...and is therefore a target of very large men. Anyway, here are some possible definitions that could be used in passing conversation...and you'll be awesome for using this word.
1. Sturdy, dependable, consistent, strong, possibly eternal - The man has started every week in the NFL since I was in elementary school. Simply amazing longevity. Second place in the record books for consecutive starts at quarterback is Peyton Manning...and even he is about six years behind...and third place is about three years behind that. Use in a sentence: "You have a Favrish work ethic. Come rain, sleet or snow, I know that I can depend on you." or "The Great Wall of China is a Favrish example of architecture."
2. Ballsy, confident, leadership qualities in spades - Do you know of any other forty-year old man who lines up every Sunday to play against the best & strongest athletes in the world? Who knows that on any given play, he could suffer a hit that would turn his brittle bones into a fine powder? Yet he steps out there...and the entire team knows...that they can come back from any deficit with a leader like him at the helm...because he's done it time and time again...for about 20 years now...and he's still one of the best. He still throws bullet-speed passes with the best of them. Use in a sentence: "Major Tom is a Favrish leader. He has the experience & expertise necessary for this mission."
3. Undecided, flip-floppy, unpredictable - The man also can't seem to decide whether he wants to stay retired or not...and it's been highly publicized the past few years...but he's been on the borderline of retirement for about a decade now. He really just uses it to get out of training camp & unnecessary drills, which I can understand...but yeah, it's comical at times. He also has this magical ability to pull amazing plays out of his ass sometimes. You never know what you're going to get from this guy...who owns all the passing records...for yards & touchdowns...as well as interceptions by the other team. Use in a sentence: "I'm not liking your Favrish attitude. Do you want to go on this road trip or not?" or "The economy is completely Favrish. My investments fluctuate from day to day."
These are just a few examples...so you can see why my new favorite word might be confusing. Depending on the context, you could twist it to mean just about anything. It's like the new F-Word. Anyway, that's all I've got for today. I told you it would be a little more light-hearted than yesterday's rant. If you have any further questions, I'm more than happy to explain...or join me on any Saturday, Sunday, Monday and sometimes Thursday & I can do a private tutoring session with visual aids on the television. Or heck, I could just pull out Madden and show you on there if you prefer. Not as many beer commercials though. Now go out there & get your football on. Have a great day everybody!!!
So Sunday night, I was watching a football game with my brother, my buddy Isaiah and a few others...and I heard broadcaster Cris Collinsworth use a word that I had never heard before in the English language - "Favre-ish" or perhaps spelled "Favrish" though inexplicably pronounced "Far-vish". Granted football is full of words and terms that may or may not make any lick of sense...as anybody who doesn't follow football (Lilie, Mad Scientist, JL Clyde, Fidel Castro, etc) may know...but I thought that I would take it upon myself to try to explain a few of them. Also, if you require more one-on-one tutorage (ladies...) then I'm more than happy to offer my encyclopedic knowledge of football, basketball, and just about any sport you'll typically see on Sportscenter to help you understand...or at least have some fun being slightly confused. On the flip side, if ANYBODY out there knows anything about Cricket, I'm all ears. Anyway, here are some terms that might be confusing...and then we'll get to this new word "Favrish"Note: I'm assuming that you at least know what a quarterback is and have at least seen a game so that you know it's played on a field instead of on top of a tabletop or on a golf course or something. Please let me know if you need further clarification though. I'm all about spreading the knowledge.
End Zone - Nothing like the Twilight Zone, rather this is the goal line. If the team is able to advance the ball in an appropriate manner past this line, then they are awarded with six points.
Audible - Yes, you can hear it. An "audible" is called when the quarterback sees that the play called in the huddle may not work (perhaps the defense is anticipating a similar play or he sees an open opportunity in their defensive positioning), so he'll call a different play while everybody's lined up. This can be extremely difficult in a loud arena.
Blitz - German for "Lightning" this is when the defense sends a few more people than normal after the quarterback...or try to shock & awe the offense by sending in quick, little guys after the quarterback while the bigger guys drop back to defend the pass.
Bomb - Oh yeah, there's a lot of dramatic metaphors in this game. Not to be confused with Da Bomb, a "bomb" is when the quarterback throws the ball faaaaaaar downfield (at least 40 yards or so) towards an intended receiver. If there's only time for one last play and there's a long way to go to the end zone, a "Hail Mary" is an overly dramatic metaphor for when a "bomb" of a pass is thrown into the end zone and a largely manner with which anybody can catch it...but hopefully somebody on their team, thus ending in a touchdown. (See Doug Flutie)
Shotgun - I'm slightly unnerved that this is referring to a formation where the quarterback is standing about 5-7 yards behind the snapper, who is bent over in front of him. Not sure where the shotgun comes into play with that scenario...but perhaps the sport originated in the backwoods of Appalachia.
Pigskin - Further evidence about the backwoods of Appalachia theory ("SQUEEEEEAL!!!") but this is referring to the football. Apparently they were once made out of pig skin before the
Play Action Pass - Basically it's when you fake handing the ball to the running back to fool the defense...and then throw a pass instead.
Bootleg - Nothing to do with fashion...but after a play action pass, then the quarterback runs to the opposite side of the fake hand-off to either run...or more realistically pass. It really makes a lot more sense if I have the little Starting Lineup guys or plastic soldiers or game footage to show you.
Safety - And you thought there was no such thing on a football field...but rather, there are TWO meanings on this term. On defense, there's typically two guys standing about 20 yards back from the line of scrimmage as kind of a last resort defense or like a safety valve to stop a long pass or something. Those two guys are called the safeties. The other meaning is on the rare occasion when a team is tackled inside of the opposite end zone of where they're trying to go...a hundred yards from their goal. If that happens, that is called a safety (and the referee makes a motion like an A in YMCA) and the defense is awarded two points...and they get the ball punted to them.
Punt - The offense has four chances to go ten yards (seems easy enough, right?) but if they get stopped on the fourth down, then the defensive team gets the ball at that spot. However, on the fourth down, the offense can decide to kick the ball away...pushing the defensive team back about 40 yards more on average. The defensive team can catch the ball and try to run it back too. It's actually quite an exciting situation.
Sack - This is when the defense tackles the quarterback behind the line of scrimmage. I have no idea why it's called a sack. Perhaps back in the day of leather helmets, they used to tie them up in a sack and toss them into the river or something...or maybe that just signaled a time-out and then the other players could eat their sack lunch.
Fumble - When that odd-shaped pigskin ball is dropped, it bounces around in quite the odd patterns. In fact, if it's raining or something, you'll see a bunch of 300-pound men trying to jump on top of what appears to be a greased pigskin. It's quite entertaining sometimes. Oh, so yeah, when the ball is dropped, it's called a fumble.
Lateral - In between a backwards pitch & a forward pass...is a lateral pass. This is typically used on an Option Play, where the previously mentioned Bootleg has the quarterback running to one side...and the running back nearby. The reason it's called an Option play is because the quarterback has the option to A) Run the ball himself, B) Throw a lateral pass, basically a pitch to his side to the running back and let him run it, or C) Maybe throw it to a receiver with a forward pass down the field.
PAT - Stands for Point After Touchdown. When you cross the goal line (get into the end zone), you are awarded with six points...but then you also get to kick a 20-yard field goal for an extra point. It may not seem like much...but it has been the deciding factor in quite a few games.
Pooch Kick - See? Michael Vick's kicked out of the league for two years for what he did to dogs...and they have a term like "pooch kick", it just sickens me. On the real though, it's basically the term used for a short punt where they try to get the offensive team as far back as possible...without going into the end zone (because if that happens, then they start at the 20 yard line).
Pump Fake - This is not a celebratory pelvic thrust into the air (though they are pretty fun) but rather when a quarterback fakes the motion of a pass to fool the defense...and then will usually run with it or throw it elsewhere.
Nickel Package - Not an amount of marijuana or a roll of coins...but this is referred to a defense that has five defensive backs instead of the usual four. This is primarily for when the defense anticipates a pass play.
Dime Package - Again, not paraphernalia or coinage, but when the defense has six defensive backs...but I prefer to think of it as what the cheerleader's working with...a total dime package.
Nose Tackle - Yes, this would be painful...and that's why they were the facemasks. However, this term refers to the defensive guy who usually stand in the middle, right in front of the snapper. These men are usually AT LEAST 300 pounds...and usually more like 350. They are big, slow & bulky...but they are essential to a good run defense up the middle. That's why they get paid the big bucks.
Tight End - I have no idea why they're called this...but as you might expect, some of these guys have pretty tight ends. These are offensive linemen who line up on the front line...but can go downfield to catch a pass if needed. They're usually about 6'6" 280 pounds so pretty big targets downfield...or pretty good blockers, depending on the play called.
Special Teams - Similar to the 4 x 100 m relay at the Special Olympics, these are athletes who wear helmets...but that's wear the similarities stop. This is the term for the kicking teams that come out for punts, kickoffs, PATs, and field goals. If balls are getting kicked, these are the guys on the grass. Wait, that might've came out wrong. Yeah, kicking teams. Very important part of the game.
My new favorite word: "Favrish" - Adjective - Apparently this is when something is in a fashion similar to that of Brett Favre, the face of the NFL...who is turning 40 this saturday and still one of the best out there. Hell, I even went into Cowboys Stadium two years back just to see him from several hundred yards away. Honestly, I'm a little worried. These Vikings that he's playing for look really good...and may be real contenders if they stay healthy. However, the definition of this word is as diverse & complex as the man himself. I mean...he owns just about every passing record out there...yet his first NFL completion was to himself for -7 yards. After his rookie year (in which he didn't throw a single pass) with the Atlanta Falcons, he was traded to the Green Bay Packers...for his college teammate Tony Smith (who? exactly?). Then he subbed in for the injured first string quaterback in 1992...and hasn't missed a game since...which is absolutely astonishing for a guy who touches the ball on every single play...and is therefore a target of very large men. Anyway, here are some possible definitions that could be used in passing conversation...and you'll be awesome for using this word.1. Sturdy, dependable, consistent, strong, possibly eternal - The man has started every week in the NFL since I was in elementary school. Simply amazing longevity. Second place in the record books for consecutive starts at quarterback is Peyton Manning...and even he is about six years behind...and third place is about three years behind that. Use in a sentence: "You have a Favrish work ethic. Come rain, sleet or snow, I know that I can depend on you." or "The Great Wall of China is a Favrish example of architecture."
2. Ballsy, confident, leadership qualities in spades - Do you know of any other forty-year old man who lines up every Sunday to play against the best & strongest athletes in the world? Who knows that on any given play, he could suffer a hit that would turn his brittle bones into a fine powder? Yet he steps out there...and the entire team knows...that they can come back from any deficit with a leader like him at the helm...because he's done it time and time again...for about 20 years now...and he's still one of the best. He still throws bullet-speed passes with the best of them. Use in a sentence: "Major Tom is a Favrish leader. He has the experience & expertise necessary for this mission."
3. Undecided, flip-floppy, unpredictable - The man also can't seem to decide whether he wants to stay retired or not...and it's been highly publicized the past few years...but he's been on the borderline of retirement for about a decade now. He really just uses it to get out of training camp & unnecessary drills, which I can understand...but yeah, it's comical at times. He also has this magical ability to pull amazing plays out of his ass sometimes. You never know what you're going to get from this guy...who owns all the passing records...for yards & touchdowns...as well as interceptions by the other team. Use in a sentence: "I'm not liking your Favrish attitude. Do you want to go on this road trip or not?" or "The economy is completely Favrish. My investments fluctuate from day to day."
These are just a few examples...so you can see why my new favorite word might be confusing. Depending on the context, you could twist it to mean just about anything. It's like the new F-Word. Anyway, that's all I've got for today. I told you it would be a little more light-hearted than yesterday's rant. If you have any further questions, I'm more than happy to explain...or join me on any Saturday, Sunday, Monday and sometimes Thursday & I can do a private tutoring session with visual aids on the television. Or heck, I could just pull out Madden and show you on there if you prefer. Not as many beer commercials though. Now go out there & get your football on. Have a great day everybody!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment