Wednesday, April 15, 2009

I'm All Outta Bubble Gum

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Funny thing happened when I came back from Cali. I spent most of Easter loading pictures and talking to family...and then I went to work on Monday to start my last week. I figured that it would be busy...because I'd have to train others to do my job and it's getting to a busier time of year...and then I found out that Boss Man J is no longer with the company. Yeah. Like that. I don't know the details...and I'll admit I'm a little curious...but I'm not going to lose sleep over it. Why? Because what's done is done...and I just hope that he's gone to greener pastures or something. Now, what does this mean to me? As of right now, absolutely nothing. I don't stand to take over his job or anything like that (believe me that was a thought) and I've still got my plan for the next few weeks...which is as follows.

Today and tomorrow, I work. I do all the training & whatever else they ask...because they're paying me...unless I don't feel like it...then I tell them to go f**k themselves...in French...as I turn in my badge & gun. Note to self: Don't tell them until you've asked around for boxes. You'll need those to move. Friday, start with the packing, then have a Happy Hour with coworkers to celebrate (or whatever) my last day there and reminisce about all the good times. Shouldn't take more than an hour. Not that it hasn't been fun the past six months...but I really haven't done that much with my coworkers outside of work. Let's see, a few movie nights with Boss Lady K, a few drinks for Nikki's birthday, a basketball game with A-Beer, that's about it. So yeah, drinks...and maybe some fun afterwards. It is a Friday, right? Then over the weekend, I continue to pack...and into next week. Then on Wednesday, I fly back to Slick City to start Apartment Search '09 so if any of you have recommendations, I'd love to hear them.

Thursday & Friday next week, I scope out apartments...and then next Saturday & Sunday, I have some kind of a birthday celebration. Oh yes, I will be celebrating the 28th anniversary of my birth...and you're all invited. Don't know where...or when...but soon...and for the rest of your life. No wait, I mean I'll keep you posted...but somewhere with booze...and lots of it. Then I fly back here for a few days, my brother shows up to help load the moving van...and then we drive back to Slick City with all my crap...to my new apartment (God willing). Then, I start training for my new job that following Monday...and then probably have a Homecoming / Housewarming Party shortly after...and then I sleep. Sound like a plan? Cool. I thought so too. Then again, I may just be blowing smoke if they decide to have me replace Boss Man J or something...and as you know, weird stuff seems to happen to me all the time...so stay tuned.

Let's see, since I last ranted, I've seen a few movies. First up was "Big Stan" starring Rob Schneider as a guy named Stan who's going to jail for fraud...and David Carradine as The Master, who teaches him how to defend himself from getting raped in prison. Sounds good already, right? Well, it's actually pretty funny at times...and there have been a LOT of prison rape comedies...but this is honestly one of the better ones...but then again, being one of the better prison rape comedies is like being one of the chunkiest Ethiopians. There's just not a lot to it. Oh yeah, Rob Schneider directed it too. Kudos. Anyway, if you have nothing better to do & you like toilet humor, can fathom the idea of Rob Schneider as a badass, and aren't thoroughly disgusted by the constant discussion of rape...then I say give it a shot. If not, you're not really missing out.

Then I watched a classic, John Carpenter's "They Live" starring Rowdy Roddy Piper & Keith David. This is kind of a crazy tale...but it had a lot of similarities to what's going on nowadays. I'll explain. In this story, times are tough in America. Unemployment is high, the middle class is disappearing, people are traveling nomadically in search of any kind of work, I think even a Bush was President (1989, right?). A large, burly man with a big sack of tools wanders from Denver looking for his next paycheck (no, not me...but you start to see the similarities I hope). He starts a temporary construction job and befriends a fellow worker (David) who takes him to a shanty town...where he stumbles upon some odd going-ons. He checks it out being the curious cat that he is...and finds these special sunglasses that allow him to see things as they truly are. The world is being overrun by aliens that are transmitting a signal that keeps the human race as mindless zombie slaves through television, advertisement, corruption, greed and all the other fun stuff that a marketer or politician does. Well, he ain't gonna take it anymore...and he goes on an escapade to take back Earth for the human race. Along the way, he starts blasting people left & right (because they're aliens), gets in a brutal street fight with his buddy (parodied precisely in the famous Cripple Fight episode of South Park) and runs into a hottie with beautiful eyes (who I instantly recognized as Meg Foster who played Evil-Lyn on "Masters of the Universe"). It's a zany flick that I suggest to anybody who likes that kind of stuff...and oddly enough for a John Carpenter film, has a bit of a message.

The next one (this covered a few days remember) was the 1952 classic comedy "Monkey Business" starring Cary Grant, Ginger Rogers...and of course, Marilyn Monroe as the eye candy secretary. It's the story of a middle-aged chemist (Grant) who tries to find the "Fountain of Youth" formula and decides to experiment on himself instead of a monkey (for some reason). Well, he takes the formula...and instantly starts acting like a twenty-year old, seeing without glasses, jumping around & doing cartwheels, buying flash convertibles and driving off with his boss' secretary (Monroe) on a joyride. Well, after a few hours it wears off...and so to try it again, this time his wife (Rogers) takes it...and she basically becomes a completely irrational girl (WOW, it DOES work!!!) and wants to dance the night away and start fights for no reason. So yeah, the formula works...but now what? You'll have to watch the movie...and don't worry, Marilyn's in it...so your eyes will be glued to the screen.

Fox Update - Speaking of glued to the screen, it's time for yet another Megan Fox Update as she turns from vixen to angel. She's a busy chick apparently. Per the Hollywood Reporter, she & Mickey Rourke have signed on to be in director Mitch Glazer's drama "Passion Plays." Rourke will play a down-on-his-heels trumpet player, and Fox will play an angel in 1950s Los Angeles, with Rourke finding redemption in Fox after he attempts to save her from a gangster. Fox's character is described, in part, as as a slender beauty with wings who is part of a carnival. Oh...and for those who don't know, Mitch Glazer is making his directorial debut...but he was the writer for classics like "The Recruit" and everybody's favorite Christmas Carol "Scrooged" so it should be okay. So yeah, yet another movie starring Fox along with the upcoming Transformers sequel, Jennifer's Body (can't wait), Jonah Hex, Fathom, the alleged Tomb Raider reboot, blah blah blah. Rourke's also in the process of filming Iron Man 2...so that should be cool too. Really just another reason to post her picture. Don't judge me. You know your eyes are glued to my blog now. Don't deny it. You're probably not even reading this because you're so transfixed on those eyes. Don't deny it. Just admit it.

Anyway, that'll probably do it for today. I've basically got you caught up now. Let me know if you wanna hang out next week when I'm back in Slick City...or help me move too. That'd be cool...but whatever. Have a great day everybody!!!

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