Small Victories and something to look forward to.

There are a lot of things running through my head right now.

The first is the success of this blog. It seems to be at the beginning stages of a lift off, which is great, and its reminded me of an important idea that most of us miss in going for our glory.

Success comes from a series of small steps and small victories, one thing at a time, one foot after the next.

We all think about the overnight success, but how many of those were just people that were overlooked for a long time until something happened that made everyone notice the work that they had been putting in for years all at the same time? Truth is, that's most of them, we just didn't or couldn't or wouldn't see them before.

That's at the beginning stages for me, which leaves me in a position where I have to change. Sometimes less is more, and you may be getting less of me with the idea of quality over quantity from here on out. A while back I spoke about not getting noticed for the wrong things in my piece 2011 NY Comicon - what NOT to do, and now the same goes for me. When the girl of your dreams finally sees you there you don't want to be drooling all over yourself, so you're only going to be getting something if I think its good enough to give you.

Then again, maybe the girl of your dreams is a drooler too. I have an uncle that used to be able to pick cards off the ground with his spit, no, seriously. He could drool down to the ground from a standing position, touch the card, then suck it all back up card and all.

If that's the kind of guy you are then this is the girl for you, so maybe getting caught out there like that is EXACTLY what you want. What do I know?

Is that really drool falling from her lips? It looks like something else. Come to think of it, there are probably some good things you can do with a hot girlfriend who enjoys this sort of thing.

And honestly, I'm looking like this guy up top lately, without the pleasant disposition, so maybe a drooler is just what I need....

But moving away from the slimed tangent that I slipped on....

The small victories that build up slowly and then seemingly explode into huge success, what my good buddy Walt speaks of often as the Art of Compounding, also have another much greater effect than a simple win that does so much more for every area of your life....

Its the small victories everyday that build confidence by constantly reinforcing the ideal that not only CAN you win, but that you WILL win, every day. You grow to expect it.

This is how belief systems are formed, good or bad. Your brain is constantly looking for reasons why the things you believe are true, examples that prove it. And it finds them every time. If you're winning every day, even in small amounts, it literally shakes the concept of failure right out of your mind. How can anyone believe that they're a loser if all they ever do is win? They can't.

Small wins every day make you believe that....

THAT'S RIGHT! Thank you Winston Churchill! You tell em'!

There's a second, equally important element on the other side of this too. If you're going to stay up and have the energy to keep going every single day, then you're going to need something to get you up in the morning. And then you're going to need things that keep your spirits light and free....

Small victories help with that, but we all need to have things we can't wait for, things to look forward too. Whether its something today, this week, this month, whathaveyou,  these are the things that make all the hard work worthwhile.

Show me someone without anything to look forward too and I'll show you someone who's lost hope.

It may only be a soak in the hot tub after a long day, but like a guy who's gotta piss so bad he feels like he's about to blow a gasket down there finally getting to drain it.... sometimes there's no better feeling in the world.

And its up to us to put ourselves in as many situations as you can where there's no better feeling in the world.

We look forward to things because we hope they will give us some of that feeling. You can never give yourself too much of that, but take it away and what have you really got?

Kylie Bisutti

For instance, I've been looking forward to putting this picture of Kylie Bisutti up for weeks now, and I don't have to tell you why.... And imagine what a charge you would get if you could look forward to coming home to that every night....

But if you don't believe it will happen, it never will. Even if you get the chance you'll wreck it. So its of the utmost importance that you choose the program your brain runs, what your subconscious tells you.

You do that by feeling like you're on top of the world and that you should be, because you deserve victory. You do that by giving yourself things to look forward to, and building a strong foundation of success upon small wins every day.

But that's all for now.

Later People!

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D'OH... Raging Against the Machine and why it'll never work!

Have you ever said or done something because you were so angry that you couldn't help but pour it out, only to wish that you could take it back later on because of the damage that you did with your actions? You caught yourself in that Homer Simpson moment. Of course you have, we all have.

But what about those deeper levels? Have you ever found that you said or did things thinking that you were completely clear of mind while taking action, that you were fully in the right and just telling it how it is, explaining what's REALLY going on out there.... only to realize later on that anger and resentment run so deeply in the core of who you are that it oozes out of the marrow of your bones, flowing like red blood cells, and that THAT is really where your message had come from, not that place of tranquility?

We don't all start off at the same level, no matter how nice a fairy tale that may be. Some of us were lucky enough to be born into a family that had money, connections, a clear path for you to have all you wanted in life. Some of us had parents who are crack heads and its a miracle you didn't turn out to be one yourself. Some of us are beautiful with model good looks, or born with supreme talent, and the doors of opportunity blast off their hinges at your very approach, while others... fat, ugly, stupid, talentless, useless, sickly, what have you. That's just the way that it is. That's life!

When we're kids we're judged and categorized by these things, the popular crowd, the freaks and geeks, whatever you want to call it. And we like to believe that when you get older, as adults, that this stops being the case. How many movies out there are about both of these things? Unfortunately, that's just not the truth. As you get older, life remains the same old high school popularity contest (if anything, its worse!), played by the same exact rules, and your success in life depends directly on how well you play that game.

Last night I wrote a letter to a friend of mine who is one of the beautiful people, part of the club, explaining that I know I have a certain amount of talent, but none of that matters unless I can find a way to make people believe that I can make THEM better, make THEIR lives better, help get THEM to where THEY want to go. And this is true of all of us, its the essence of what that high school popularity contest is all about.

She could have easily helped me along, as I've seen her do with countless other people before, just with a word or two, "Hey, read this guy, he can write", but she never has, not once. The reason is because I don't fit the image she's trying to project. Helping me won't advance her career or her causes, so not only hasn't she helped, but she's actually gone back and deleted things I've sent her, erasing all outward knowledge of my work with her people.

Isn't that just like the kid who helped you with your math homework in school, but you ignored in the halls when you were with your friends? Well, we know that its because of value, and we always chase after HIGHER value, and run away from lower value, as away as we can get.

The thing of it is that most people don't even know that they're doing it, its not a conscious choice, its a natural human behavior. This is the game, its how its played, and I only know the difference because, like many of you, I've spent most of my life on the outside looking in. If my life were easy breezy, if all the doors were open for me, then I'd be caught up in the machine as well, oblivious to what was going on here.

Instead, because the system has always worked against me, I too Rage Against the Machine.

Trouble is... I've been raging against it so long that that anger has set in real deep, so deep I didn't even know it was there, and it comes out in terrible ways, as that chip on my shoulder, that nervousness I spoke about yesterday that keeps me from performing up to my capabilities. And I know a lot of you, a lot of very intelligent, very talented people, who suffer from the very same malady. I see it everyday, see it in your comments, see it in your attitude, see it in your facebook posts, and in your pain. And it holds you back. It holds me back, holds us ALL back.

You see... there IS another level, that place of peak performance that you only come to when you're free and easy, confident, and all of that anger, resentment and negative energy only keeps you from getting there. Its like snake venom, coursing through you, killing you. I haven't even begun to scratch the surface in what I can do, as a writer, as an athlete, in the ways that I can help people.... and while I knew this, I didn't see what it was that kept me from accessing that better part of myself.

The real difference between those people that have had the doors open for them, however or for what ever reasons it was done, and the rest of us continually hurling ourselves against the jagged rocks in the seas of life, is that they're able to keep their eyes completely on the prize and use all of their focus and energy towards that goal, where as the frustrated folks like me have one eye on the goal and the other on all the many things we have to fight to get there. We have one hand reaching for that star, and the other clenched in a fist swinging away at all that approaches.

How much energy does that take from you? How much does it sap your strength? How much does it steal from your focus? How much harder will that force you to have to work, and how much more tired will you be from that?

Open doors allow people to reset themselves, get back to zero that much more quickly. Fighting all the time leaves you in a state where you're constantly fighting, until you reach the point that its all you know, and you forget exactly what it is that you're fighting for. Then without a fight, you don't know what to do with yourself, you have nothing left. Often, this is where I find myself. Do you?

That's like being a beaten woman, trapped in an abusive relationship with yourself.

My friend probably took what I said as a personal attack, as me saying that she's messed up and wrong for doing the same exact thing that everyone else does. That has me upset, because she really is great and I really do love her. She's not the only one, that's just how the game is played, it just makes her like everyone else.

That's not her failing; its mine. Its like I'm trying to play chess in checkers tournament and getting pissed off that I got eliminated.

Just like anyone else in any other walk of life, from here on out any success that I have in any area moving forward relies directly on how much you, and everyone else, believes that I can make their lives better. Whether that's by motivating you, inspiring you, giving you an idea or making you see things in a way you never did before, if that's helping you make a new connection, spreading the word for your product, or just simply entertaining you (you can't put a price on a good time), how much people believe that I can help THEM do these things will dictate how far I go. The same goes for you in all that you do.

But how can anyone hope to do that if they're so full of piss and wind that they're pissing in their own face, blinding themselves in the process? How can they do that when they're so full of venom that we sap ourselves of all the energy and forces within us that allow us to fire on all cylinders?

We may not all start at the same spot, but it IS our responsibility to reset ourselves back to zero, find that focus we need, and if the doors won't open for us, if we can't find the people to open them, then to blast the off of their hinges ourselves, no matter what circumstances we come from. It just that much harder when you start the race at the back of the pack, forced to jump the hurdles while others run in a clear lane. But the spectators aren't watching for who's running in which lane, only who wins the race.

For myself, I'll never be able to blast those doors open until I'm able to release all of that anger and frustration that keeps from from reaching my peak performance. But unless I find the people who able, AND WILLING, to make ME better, make MY life better, help get ME to where I want to go, whether that's by motivating me, inspiring me, giving me an idea or making me see things in a way I never did before, if that's helping me make a new connection, spreading the word for my products, or just simply entertaining me, helping me relax and have a good time.... then I'll never be able to release all of that anger and frustration that keeps me from reaching my peak performance.

Its a Catch 22 situation. How many of you are there?

That's EXACTLY why your support system is damn important. Why finding the right woman (or man) to share your life with is SO important (instant support system), and why most people that are highly successful become so after marrying that right person. This means the right friends too. Of course, its so hard to find them while you're in that situation above, so you're back in that Catch 22.

But, ask the right questions and you'll get the right answers... so I'll ask you this...

HOW THE FU... DO YOU GET OUT OF IT?!

Later People!