BLACK FRIDAY!!!

So today is Black Friday, the day that simultaneously rings in the Christmas season and shows what a disgusting materialistic consumer driven society we live in. I would rather have this girl blow my..... I'd have her shoot me in the face before I got caught out in the crowds at the stores too.

Just look at this mess down here. What part of any of that do you really want? I'd honestly prefer to spend the extra cash than to have to deal with that, unless I was smashed up against that chick in the grey sweatshirt down there. Nice rack! But it's no wonder people get trampled to death at Walmart in this kind of mayhem, after all, we value "our stuff" over human life anyway, don't we? There's a Christmas message for ya!

I might wait in line like that for Monique Alexander down there. In fact, that's all I want for Xmas. Don't you love how her backside sticks out like that, you can rest your egg nog on there. I think she's gotten implants recently, that's too bad. She didn't need them.

Monique Alexander

Check out the look on the faces of those women piling into Target. They're not happy to be shopping, enjoying themselves, they're just ecstatic that they've survived this long and praying that they can move into the store fast enough to stay ahead of the stampede. What a disaster!

On the other hand, there's nothing disastrous about Shera Bechard, Playboy's Miss November 2010. Sugar Plums may be dancing in YOUR head, whatever the hell a sugar plum is.... I say keep your damn plums, give me the sugar baby!

Shera Bechard Miss November 2010

Look at this poor bastard right here. We've all been there, haven't we guys? And we all know exactly what's going through his head too, don't we. "What the fuck is she buying now?!"
 

I have absolutely no idea who the hell Shinta Bachir is, but somewhere in the 6 hours that you're standing on line next to some sweaty animal that's slurping on chicken bones and throwing them at your feet so that you can be buying some bullshit that no one really needs for people you don't even really like, I'll be looking into it. Thanks.
 

Shinta Bachir

The look of confusion here is priceless. None of these women have any idea of what the hell is going on here. One thing we DO know though, another summer of their fat kids sitting in the house getting fatter while they play with the crap in your arms lies waiting. Just don't get pissed at me when no one likes them because they're too putrid to socialize.

Decisions, decisions. As long as she stays down there.... I think she's made the right one. Nice dress and thanks for the show! Do you do private parties? Its on my list for Santa.
 

Quick, which one has the stupidest look on their face? I can't say I've ever seen anyone get so excited over fuckin bed sheets! If the one in the front waits a bit I'm sure I can give her something a little better to get more excited over... you two in the back are on your own though. Did one of them trip the blond? She looks like she's going down, and not in that same super awesome way as the chick up above.

I love Kate Beckinsale, man. She's still sexy. My favorite role of hers was in Much Ado About Nothing (my favorite play by the way) when she played Hero. I've been saying for months now that we need a Hero.... she's just the Hero for me! Who else thinks she should have told Ben Affleck in Pearl Harbor, "You're boy knocked me up, you're beat, now fuck off!"?

Kate Beckinsale

This is the most racist ad I've ever seen. Putting a picture of black guy up there for Black Friday.... I was in this store a few days ago and that picture wasn't there. And it won't be there tomorrow. Some People! I don't know about you, but somewhere in there they lost the point of the terminology.

Rachel Bilson.... I don't know what it is, but I've always been so into her. She was about to make the big jump too until she made the mistake of getting engaged to Hayden Christenen. Not only did he completely ruin Star Wars, but also her career. I guess this is why all those damn chick marriage mags that brain wash women into legalized prostitution preach to always marry up.

Rachel Bilson

I never have underestimated the power of stupid people in large groups.... that's most of the world out there. How else do you explain the success of anything MTV has to offer?

Nice jacket, is that members only? One of the best parts of doing this blog is that I'm constantly finding new ladies to gawk at... and share with my friends. She does fill the clothing nicely though, no?

Estefany Pawtuckett

How horrible are we as a society? Look at all these young kids cheering and smiling while that poor old woman has to fight for her life. She's grabbing on to the dude in front of her, hoping he can drag her through it, all so that she can pick up a little something for her little spoiled brat grand kid at home. And they're going to throw that shit away as soon as she leaves, because whatever she picks, it won't impress the kids friends, and THAT is what Christmas is all about!

Jessie West was in that same store when they shot this. The rabid crowd pushed her up against the wall here, tore her clothes off. If it wasn't for grabbing onto that gold mesh behind her she would have been carried away in the current.

Jessie West

Seriously, if I'm going to waste my time with the horrors of Black Friday, I'm going to do it sitting on my ass, medicated out of my mind, and in the company of the horror greats, Boris Karloff and Bela Lugosi

If it does turn out that I need something though, and have to brave the elements, and far worse, the unwashed masses of morons at the mall, you can bet your ass that I'm not throwing myself into the frey without a trained team of gun toting assassins behind me watching my back...

Or maybe you can bet her ass that's how it'll go down. I'll buy that for a dollar. Without the right back up though, I'm not even leaving the house today. Screw that. I've got a video to watch, and I think the drugs are kicking in.

Later People!

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Thanks and appreciation

Yesterday I was talking about how easy it is to get yourself stuck in a negative spin that you can't get out of and why its so important at those times to start thinking about the things that you appreciate in your life in order to change your energy and put you into a positive frame of mind.

Well, with tomorrow being Thanksgiving I thought it would be a perfect time for me to talk about many of the things that I'm thankful for and appreciate. Don't get offended if you get left out though, I'm very thankful for my family, my friends, and you good fans that read me everyday and make this worth while.

 

I appreciate the fact that my dog Jack (short for Jackass!) looks just like Animal from the muppets. He came from a litter of 7, and while his brother and sisters all played together, all he ever did since he opened his eyes was sit at my feet and bark to sit on my lap. So he chose me.

After the ex left, when he was about 6 months old, he caught meningitis and almost died. He was in the hospital for weeks, and after a few thousand dollars it was a last effort guess when the neurologist and I were brainstorming that came up with the cure. After I got him home he slept on my neck for weeks.

 

This is Jack's mom, Leia, my other dog. She's the toughest 15lb dog I've ever heard of, spent more than 6 months in the desert of Nevada on her own before the girlfriend found her. How she survived I have no idea. She had all 7 of her babies right in my hand, and would let me do whatever I wanted to with the pups, but wouldn't even let the ex go near them. That should have told me all I needed to know right there. 

I had spent some time in some really dark places and I think these 2 dogs were the only thing that kept me going, so I'm very thankful for that, don't know what I'd do without them. 

 I love the small of a woman's back. There's something just right when your hand rests in the spot just above the round of her backside and you pull her close to you. I'm thankful for women that are soft and sweet, which I need to balance the manimal within me.



I really appreciate a good story, in any form. Its one of my favorite things. I also love baseball, Kevin Costner baseball movies, and great nicknames that last forever.

 

This is my Rotty Circe. There's something manly about having a dog, and I don't know that you can have a home without one. A dog is a sign that a man is coming home, because he may leave you, but there's no way he leaves his dog. I have a hard time believing that she's been gone for 5 years now, half the time I still feel her walking next to me, but I have so many great memories of her and could never imagine a better dog, or a better friend.

I appreciate a brilliant smile that can just light up the room from a beautiful woman, especially when its aimed at me. Sometimes, when you least expect it, an angel comes and lifts you up, and some people do that for everyone that they touch because their heart is so big it radiates. I'm glad I knew her.

Don't tase me Bro!

My God I can't tell you have much I appreciate this photo, or all the dumbasses in the world that give me something to laugh at. Life is the BEST! You just can't make this stuff up.

Mentors are so important, and I never really had one, but I'm really thankful for the one's that had to serve as such for me. I appreciate the fact that I was shown the path, that I was taught early that more luminous beings are we, not this crude matter, and that the force is with me.... always.

I appreciate Nick Nolte and all that he does. WE LOVE YOU NICK NOLTE!

I really love women, pretty much everything about them, so I appreciate the beauty of the female form

And I'm thankful for women that are down for anything

Especially when they're down for anything in bed, like sexy Kelly Brook here.

But there's nothing sexier than a woman who reads. I need a woman of intelligence; nothing stirs me up quite like intelligent conversation, so as much as I show off scantily clad ladies, there's nothing I appreciate more than when they show off their great big brains. 

If you look at this picture closely you can see, just above the trees, Death blowing something up towards the light, plain as day.

How great is it when you get something you never expected that just completely blows your mind? I'm thankful that there's something more out there, and great gods show themselves to us once and a while, just to remind us that they're there, and that we're not alone.

And I really appreciate Elvis! I love the King, and Graceland is a place you really have to visit at least once.

What's not to love about great trips with the fam? I love when I get the opportunity to be the crazy, over the top, fun loving lunatic I am when I'm comfortable being myself, and the people who accept me and let me be that way.

After this shot she said to me "Thanks for nothing Hatter!" in a sexy English accent. To this day I'm still unsure if she meant it as something out of the story or if I didn't do something for her that she was wanting me to do. But then, she could have just been English, that's what my experience with their women has been

Operation Fishbone was one of the best weekends of my life. It's an inside joke I guess, so here's to inside jokes then, and to the stupid shit you did when you were much younger that you'd never even consider now, but MAN did you have a good time doing it! Those are the things you laugh about forever, and how can you not be happy about those?

Thank God for heroes that you can relate to, crossing the line, cold sterile bathrooms and the nudey bar! Lets Rock!

I'm really thankful for that last trip, and those last days and months, and that special friend who takes you from one stage of your life into the next, but never really leaves you even when you can't see them anymore. And even more so, I couldn't be thankful enough for that smile on her face, and knowing that despite being blind, barely able to move and taking 2 shots a day just to keep her food down, she was still very happy until the end, and that I gave her a good life.

I really appreciate the guys on my softball team. For a long time I was the best player on a really bad team and it completely sucked, but I love playing ball too much to give it up. And as we got better it was with all the wrong kinds of people, grown men acting like babies, constant fighting and nonsense.

Now its hard to tell who the best player is, we're a championship caliber team and I expect to win every game. But the best part of it is that we all fit together really well. This is the best team and the best group of guys I've ever played with, and its an interesting collection of people if you take a look, but we make it work. They make playing ball a lot of fun again and I couldn't be happier about that.

Bacon, country fried steak, good coffee, sweet tea, biscuits and gravy, country cooking..... CRACKER BARREL!!! What's not to love?

I love pictures that say it all. That's the Man back there with his finger up, you know of him from our many adventures, and the girl in front is the Ex. This is the first time I showed a picture of her. I wasn't with her for looks, but because we got along really well and I trusted her more than anyone. We all know how that turned out.

But I'm thankful for my time with her, and more thankful for the things it taught me, which include never settle for anyone, and if your closest friends and your brother hate your girl, there's probably something wrong there that you can't or won't see.

I appreciate positive role models that always show you how its supposed to be done, and do it the right way. And I'm very thankful that my childhood hero never let me down.

I really appreciate the unique talents and fine acting skills of my favorite living on screen star Monique Alexander. She never disappoints me.

That's Patrick Wayne, son of one of my idols, John Wayne, with me on one side and my dear mother on the other. She was so nervous going to talk to him that she couldn't do it, so I had to go over for her and make sure she got a picture. That was a great day, and I'm very thankful that I was there for it.

I really love being able to sit around in my underwear doing nothing but watchin TV all day.

And I love the greatest love story of all time, my favorite movie with my favorite actor.

Here's lookin at you kid!

What can be more manly than a good fire? And what's better than some good friends, some good music and good beer around that fire? I appreciate the beauty of moments like that, and I'm thankful for the times I've been able to do it.

And thank God I'm a Yankee Fan!

Wow! All this to be thankful for and I'm just getting started. I can be at this all day if I really got deep into it, and I bet you can say the same thing if you really stop to think about all the things you love in your life.

But mostly, I want to thank you for being here, and spending part of your day with me every morning.

And now that Thanksgiving will soon be behind us... its time to get ready for Xmas!

Later People