What's a Kwyjibo Anyway?

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,



Well, this weekend was okay… considering. Friday night, I was trying to find out exactly where my new phone was… so I went to the UPS shipping center… and they had no idea. Apparently it was supposed to be on a truck… but they didn’t have it… and it wasn’t there. Yippee! I could file a claim on Monday… but that’d mean three more days without a phone… at least. I was pleasantly surprised a few hours later when I was making some delicious chili mac at home, I noticed through the kitchen window that there was a UPS truck hailing in our cul de sac to turn around. The moment that I noticed the truck, I heard a ring at the door bell, so I went to the door. Could it be? Is my phone here? YAY!!! I open the door… and there’s a package kinda set next to it… and I notice a guy running off and jumping onto the moving truck, now headed out of the cul de sac and off to the next stop. Wasn’t the big f**king deal that I had to sign for it? Well, I guess they were expecting a prick response, but seriously I was just grateful. Whatever. I had my phone now… sort of. As you may know, the first step is putting it on the charger for 12 hours… so I enjoyed my chili mac & some “Nip/Tuck” with Nurse & Bee Master. We kind of like that show. Almost through season three now.



Saturday morning, I went to the hospital to do a quick lipid cholesterol test… seriously took like five minutes total. Then I spent the morning running errands & eventually made way to the phone store where we spent an hour or so getting my phone to work & thankfully keeping all of my phone numbers (like 300 contacts… cuz that’s how playas do… in different area codes). Funny little sidenote: While at the phone store, I was wearing my San Antonio Spurs shirt… and one of the agents asked me, “Are you from San Antonio? Big Spurs fan?” “From Utah… but have been since I was 8 years old.” “Ah, Tim Duncan’s early days…” “Actually, since David Robinson’s early days back in ’89.” “Nice! That guy was a MONSTER! I remember there was one game where he had like… 60 points or something.” “71… against the Clippers… one of only three players to have that many in a game besides Wilt & Kobe. And actually… now that I think about it… today’s the 6th, right?” “Yeah.” “Today is his 46th birthday. Go figure! Sorry… my mind kinda just… does that. Makes random connections every once in a while.” So yeah, then we got to talking about basketball a little bit & how the Warriors might fair (guy was from Oakland) so yeah, that was that. Happy belated birthday, Mr. Robinson!!!



Then I went home, made a little tikki masala chicken, and about an hour later… my joints got really sore, I had a little fever, my head & back was aching, something was wrong all of a sudden & I didn’t know why. Luckily my first thought was the correct one… check the paper that Doctor K gave me with the tetnes-whooping cough from Friday. I know sometimes those shots have effects… but she didn’t really mention any at the time, just handing me the form and saying if anything seems strange to call the number on it (not even writing in her own digits unfortunately). Well, there it was… apparently 70% of recipients have minor effects like aches & pains (check), soreness in joints (check), mild fever (check) and then I read on… and it was talking about one in a thousand some SERIOUS reactions. I’m sure it would’ve been mentioned in detail if I had any allergies or pre-existing conditions but going over it… I was struggling to remember what it prevented. You know when you watch those commercials on TV for a drug that helps with social anxiety… but it gives you uncontrollable diarrhea, migraine headaches, violent mood swings, heart palpitations, stroke, whatever. Yeah… I want to go meet people when I’m concerned that at any moment I could crap myself & react violently. Anyway, I’m all better now. Saturday night was just me bundled up… and watching “Nip/Tuck” with some Indian food & plenty of fluids. Party!!!



Sunday, I took the bus to Inner Sunset to get my hair did (just a touch up as it grows back fast) and really the only other news was my basketball game that night. We lost… unfortunately… but besides a 30-2 run in the middle of the game, it was a pretty close game. Yeah… I held it down on defense, yes, even during that run, but there was simply too much of my teammates taking three pointers and missing them, and I simply can’t outrebound three guys when I’m already out of position because they want me to post up. Seriously… they gave it to me three times in the post – once was a dunk + 1, another a kick out to a three pointer that actually went in, & the third was a hack that wasn’t called but they got the ball. Two out of three ain’t bad, right? It’s frustrating… but I’m still having a little fun. Had some pretty decent swats too… like… they kept taking threes for most of the game or trying to run it on the fast break off the long rebounds from our misses because once they were trying to take it right at me… there was little to no chance. Not bad for a guy with stiff joints & a mild fever, right? Anyway, here’s the news…



Bubba Smith - Former NFL star Bubba Smith, who went from feared defensive end on the field to endearing giant in his successful second career as an actor, died Wednesday. He was 66. Los Angeles County coroner's spokesman Ed Winter said Smith was found dead at his Baldwin Hills home. Winter said he didn't know the circumstances or cause of death. Police spokesman Richard French added the death does not appear to be suspicious. The top overall pick in the 1967 draft after a sensational career at Michigan State, the 6-foot-7 Smith spent five seasons with the Baltimore Colts and two seasons each with Oakland and Houston. He won the 1971 Super Bowl with the Colts. "I'm saddened by it. I remember my first training camp in 1972 in Golden, Colorado. I spent a lot of time with him there. He was a great guy. He was a giant, the biggest player on the field," Colts owner Jim Irsay said. One of the best pass rushers in the game, Smith often drew two blockers, yet was effective enough to make two Pro Bowls and one All-Pro team. His best work, though, came in college, and Smith was enshrined in the College Football Hall of Fame in 1988. "He was simply a good guy," former Michigan State teammate Robert Viney said in a statement released through the university. "His size made him an intimidating figure, but he was a real gentleman. He was a helluva player." As an actor his most memorable role was playing Moses Hightower, the soft-spoken officer in the "Police Academy" series (now you know why I'm mentioning him... I loved those movies as a kid & Hightower in particular). He also appeared in such television series as "Good Times," ''Charlie's Angels," and "Half Nelson," and was a regular in the ground-breaking Miller Lite commercials featuring retired players. Born Charles Aaron Smith, he played in high school for his father, Willie Ray Smith, in Beaumont, Texas, before heading to Michigan State, where he was an All-American in 1966. "'Bubba' Smith was a great Spartan," Michigan State athletic director Mark Hollis said in a statement. "As both a football player and later as an actor, 'Bubba' was a great ambassador for the University. It's only fitting that beginning this fall the Big Ten Defensive Lineman of the Year Award bears his name." At Michigan State he played on some of the school's greatest teams under coach Duffy Daugherty and was one of its best players. Fans in East Lansing, Mich., would chant, "Kill, Bubba, Kill" during games and his No. 95 jersey was retired in 2006. "I will shed some tears tonight because I've lost a great friend," Viney said. "He never sought the spotlight. He was a humble man. As I remember him, I recall the chants of "Kill, Bubba, Kill" from the crowd in Spartan Stadium. He will be missed." Smith was part of two of the most famous football games ever played. In 1966, he was at Michigan State when the Spartans and Notre Dame, both undefeated, played to a 10-10 tie. Michigan State finished second behind the top-ranked Fighting Irish that season. In 1965 and '66, Smith helped Michigan State go 19-1-1 and win consecutive Big Ten titles. Game number two - In 1969, Smith played for the Colts against the New York Jets in the Super Bowl. Led by Joe Namath, the Jets of the AFL upset the NFL champion Colts 16-7 in Miami. What can I say? I have a think for soft spoken loveable gentle giants. We know our own. A truly great man... and he will be missed. My condolences to Bubba's family. Now let's change things up...



Russian Politics Update - Sigh... this is what I'm looking for in my politickin' come every election year. I've told you about Putin's Army of hot Russians showing their support by showing their assets. Well, now there's a rebuttal... with emphasis on butt. Three young women stripped down to bikinis on a chilly Thursday in central Moscow in support of Russian President Dmitry Medvedev and his anti-beer drive, in the latest racy campaigning ahead of 2012 elections. The female flash-mob, apparently organised by a Medvedev fan-group on Russia's top social networking site Vkontakte, may have been inspired by a rival campaign urging girls to strip in support of Prime Minister Vladimir Putin. Both leaders in Russia's ruling have said they will decide together which of them will run for president in March. Medvedev's bikini-clad supporters, encircled by cameras and photographers, invited gawking onlookers to pour out their beer into buckets, stripping off an item of clothing when the alcohol sloshed up to marks drawn on the side. Yes... this is real... and no, it's not college. "We do not want to interfere in their political affairs, we are doing what we want and what we want is to encourage young people to support our president," Veronika, a brunette who stripped to a hot pink bikini, told reporters. It was unclear who was behind the group, with fellow activist Anna Sirotkina claiming it was a grassroots movement. "We are not paid. There was an announcement online, and we decided to participate," said the blond-haired Sirotkina as she strutted about in black high heels. Following the strip-tease the girls dumped the beer-filled buckets down the gutter and dawned T-shirts emblazoned with the slogans: "Choose beer or us!" Some passersby -- nursing beers and enjoying a rare burst of sunshine in the nearby park -- were puzzled by the message. "The girls are against beer so the girls are offering themselves in return for a promise from young men not to drink?" pondered a young student who gave his name only as Denis. I feel ya. I'm a little confused with the shirts too... but hey, maybe there's something lost in translation. If only they knew a good marketing guy like... I don't know... ME!!! The group, calling themselves "Medvedev's Girls," denied competing with a rival pro-Putin Internet group called "I Really Do Like Putin" and said they planned a "tandem" bike ride together on Monday in a play on words on Russia's ruling tandem. Putin -- who was president from 2000 to 2008 and barred by the constitution from seeking a third consecutive term -- helped usher his 45-year-old protégé Dmitry Medvedev into office. This is an interesting great story... on a purely sick level... but why pour the beers down the sewers? Like the Boston Beer Party or something? Maybe it's just... I'm a fan of beer... but I'm definitely more of a fan of brunettes in pink bikinis & blondes in stilettos too... so I get that.



Kitchen Knuke - A Swedish man was arrested after he tried to build a nuclear reactor in his kitchen and documented his efforts on the Internet, authorities and the man said Thursday. Richard Handl, 31, from Angelholm in southern Sweden, gathered materials including smoke detectors, clock and watch hands and via purchases on the Internet. "I was just curious to see if it was possible, it is just a hobby," said Handl, currently unemployed but previously a worker in a ventilation systems factory. He documented his efforts on a blog and his Facebook page. He got as far as mixing some ingredients on a cooker -- americum, radium, beryllium and 96% sulphuric acid. "The boiling explosion was about 3 or 4 months ago and the police came two weeks ago," he said. After the incident, which he tagged "The Meltdown" on his blog, he said he "cleaned up the mess on the cooker and then I bought some more radium and continued the experiment." The Radiation Safety Authority said in a statement the authorities raided Handl's flat on July 20 after hearing that he was handling nuclear materials in an unsafe way. "There were no raised levels of radiation in the apartment and the neighbors were not exposed to radiation," research chief Leif Moberg said in the statement. Handl reported the raid laconically on his website, writing "Project canceled!" He was detained and shortly after freed. "I am still a suspect for crime against the radiation safety law," he said. Do you see what happens with unemployment? Idle hands do the devil's work... and bored hands make people wonder if they can build nuclear reactors in their kitchens. Sure, we've all had the impulses. Fix a pinball machine in our garage - Okay. Restore a 1969 Pontiac LeMans that you'll never be able to drive because it only gets about 8-10 MPG - Not the best way to spend your money but that's how I got my Baby. Design your own sexbot in your bedroom using a vacuum cleaner, chicken wire, paper mache, a children's toy and the sleeve of your favorite jacket - Go ahead... tell me what the cow says, girl. I mean... you know if... they did that... they being... not me. Causing a possible ecological disaster in the kitchen though... is kind of a gray area. It sounds like somebody rented "The Astronaut Farmer" over the weekend... but then again, I admire his approach. He was curious... bored... and documented it for the word to see. You can't really hate on that. Then again, if somebody had gotten hurt, not such a good thing. It's not like I'm thinking it's a good idea if I did something like this in the bedroom and one of my roommates & I have to have this conversation through the door & paper thin walls. "$teve, what are you doing in there?" "I'm just (crash) doing an experiment. I'm seeing if I can devise a way to save money through (pop) mother f... sorry, I'll try to keep it down." "What's that burning smell? Do you have the vacuum in there?" "Yeah... I'm just... I needed a part and (the cow says mooooo) I'll... I just need to clean up a bit... I'll ugh... have it downstairs in... an hour. Whew... cigarette? (the horse says naaaay) Suit yourself."



On that note, I guess I’ll leave you with that image… only a few more days until my family comes to visit. Apparently, after discussion with my roommates, my mom, stepdad, niece & nephew will be staying at my apartment… probably with me and the kids sleeping on the couch… and then my brother, C-Rock and anybody else they bring will be in a nearby hotel. I’m getting REALLY excited about it… as I’ve missed my family & am always looking for a reason to have fun. Have a great night everybody!!!

Wild Mountain Honey

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Well, the weekend was pretty awesome. I woke up a little earlier than expected on Saturday morning (just couldn’t wait, I guess) so I headed out around 7 AM… and even with a half-hour wait for a breakfast burrito in Placerville, I made it to South Lake Tahoe by 10:30 AM. It was actually a route that I had never taken before too. Highway 50 isn’t bad at all… but I could see how traffic can be a bit of a pain (over 5 hours on the drive back yesterday). Still, just as beautiful a route as I-80 up to North Lake Tahoe really. Anyway, you don’t care. I met up with my stepsister and three of her kids (stepbrother & 4th at a Boy Scout camping trip) and we headed to the beach. The kids were really excited to see me… which is awesome. I played Frisbee in the water with the boys, played with little plastic safari animals with Hallee, they showed me all the wonderful things they could do on the playground (“Uncle $teve, look what I can do!”), it was all kinds of fun… and this was actually my first time swimming in Lake Tahoe. I know… I lived there for over a year… and never went swimming in the water. In my defense, most of the year, the water is like 34 degrees… and the rest of the year, it’s snow runoff… so it was chilly… as it was this time… but definitely refreshing… and crystal clear. I thoroughly enjoyed myself… once I got over the first minute or so of “oh f**k me this is cold on the dangling bits” and the like.

Sigh… now for the reason that I don’t have amazing pictures to show you about this time in the sun with family. You see, I didn’t bring my camera… but I brought my cell phone to snap a few pictures of smiling faces, picturesque mountain beauty… and maybe a firm backside or two. However, having three young kids, we carried a lot of stuff out to the beach – umbrella, toys, food, towels, bags of sunscreen (which did NOTHING by the way), etc. Well, after establishing base camp, we immediately went right into playing in the water & having a good old time. A few hours later, I was wondering what the time was… and then it hit me. I could check my phone for the time… except that it was in my pocket… and had been for about the last two hours… while I was in Lake Tahoe… literally IN Lake Tahoe. My keys were in the other pocket… but apparently they’re waterproof steel alloy. My phone is not. It’s more like… jumping into a lake with a laptop. Not a good idea. So yeah… it’s done. Have to go get a new one… and call people expecting to hear from me to let them know that I was okay… just stupid. It happens.

Anyway, after a few hours, I hugged the kids bye & went back to the hotel to get ready for STEVE MILLER BAND!!! The concert started around sunset in the outdoor venue at Harvey’s Casino (normally a parking lot… but not a bad setup). While waiting for the concert to start, I met a guy named Paul near the beer stands. He was a gentlemen in his late forties or so, born & raised in Glendale, Arizona… and his girlfriend had some last minute family things pop up, so he was there by himself too. We chatted, talked about the good music from back in the day (rock & roll, blues, R&B, etc) and it was just a good time. Of course he made the comment… “What are you, 23? 24 maybe? Were you even alive when Abracadabra came out?” “I’ll have you know that I was two years old when that song came out… and my parents made sure that I know about good music growing up.” “So… you’re 30, 31? Really? Dude, what’s your secret?” “Fairly clean & always fun living… and not having a girlfriend for years at a time helps keep me distressed.” “Cheers to that, buddy!” Clink.

As the concert approached, storm clouds started to gather… and there was a change of showers… but then, as Rock & Roll Hall of Famer Dave Mason (of Traffic) opened up… there wasn’t a cloud in the sky… and it was simply the perfect setting for Steve Miller Band. I’m pretty sure I mentioned this… but for the first few months when I was living in Tahoe, I had Steve Miller Band’s greatest hits in my CD player every day. Listening to that every morning when me & Gretchen were tredging the snow to get to work, discovering the new wonders of my mountain home, around the pristine lake, all over… and it’s basically the perfect soundtrack for the kind of living found up there. Laid back, full of love, peace with nature, skies fully of stars, good times. This concert was a throwback to that. Listening to “Wild Mountain Honey” & “Fly Like an Eagle” at sunset in the Sierras, surrounded by gorgeous Northern California women while hearing “Keep On Rockin’ Me”, “Jungle Love” & “Abracadabra”, under a sea of stars while he riffs out “Space Cowboy”, “Lost in Space” & “Livin’ in the USA”, everybody getting up and dancing, a dash of blues thrown in to keep the crowd from having a heart attack (seriously, I was the youngest by a good decade at least, except for one little girl Kadence who liked me) and of course… finishes everybody off with “Joker” to end the six-song finale. It was a great four hours of concert. They still now how to rock… as well they should having done it for 45 years or so. Here are some pictures…

After the concert, I met up with a former coworker & some of her friends… and we hit up Cabo Wabo for a few drinks & some dancing. The ladies were out (and d-runk) but I wasn’t dressed to impress or anything (t-shirt & jeans) so after an hour or so of bumping & grinding with a few bachelorette parties, I headed to the casinos for a few… and then back to the hotel alone. Eh… it’s okay. Slept a few hours, watched a little HBO documentary about New Orleans to put me in a bad mood in the morning (well, good that I got to see a little New Orleans, bad that it was about how they’re basically f**ked again & again both naturally and financially & no government organization seems to care) and then thought I would head back to San Francisco a little early… but was still in traffic for a little bit and it took about five hours to make a three hours trip. Not too bad. Got back in time for my basketball game… and we did okay but still lost. I think we’re starting to get our strategy down. Basically, everybody except me wants to shoot threes… so they’re basically just taking threes and expecting me to rebound them… except there are at least three guys boxing me out or going for boards on both ends… and just one of me. Not exactly sure if that’s going to work. Oh well… at least we’re having fun, right? Anyway, here’s the news…

Don’t Drink & Drive… or Do This - A drunk father allegedly allowed his 8 year-old son to drive his pick-up truck on a southeast Louisiana highway on Saturday while he slept, until patrol officers pulled over the boy, police said. The boy was driving the Chevrolet truck on Interstate 12 near the town of Holden, with his father in the passenger seat AND his 4 year-old sister in the back seat, Louisiana State Police said in a statement. A passing motorist noticed the pick-up truck was being driven erratically and called police. When Louisiana state troopers pulled over the truck in Livingston Parish, they found the 8 year-old boy behind the wheel and interviewed the father, 28 year-old Billy Joe Madden of Hattiesburg, Mississippi, police said. Police said they determined Madden was drunk and that he had been sleeping while his son drove the vehicle, en-route to Dallas, Texas. Yes… we’re talking about a 2nd grader driving across two states and several hundred miles… while the father sleeps it off. Madden was arrested and booked into jail on two counts of child desertion, parent allowing a minor to drive, open container and two counts of no child restraint and no seatbelt (just for good measure). Madden remains in jail at Livingston Parish Detention Center in lieu of $1,474 bail, said sheriff's deputy Dustin Sanders at the facility. Both of Madden's children were turned over to child welfare authorities and were awaiting the arrival of a family member who could take custody of them, police said. Now, I’m always saying… please don’t drink & drive. So I’m glad that Mr. Madden headed to that suggestion. However, I didn’t realize that there needed to be an asterisk or amendment to that statement that included having your incredibly underage son drive you across state lines while your even younger daughter is in the back seat while you sleep it off. Do they still do tar & feathering? I’m guessing not but… not a bad suggestion. Really don’t like that he put his kids in danger like that. How the hell does he have custody of the kids in the first place? You know what… I shouldn’t pass judgment. I don’t know the full story. Let’s hope that we get to hear his side. Maybe the mother passed on… and in his grief he was tying one on… with moonshine… and in a fit of drunkenness he said, “Come on kids, we’re going to Six Flags… but you’ll need to drive, Daddy’s a little drunk” and then… there’s really not just a good way to end this story. Again, no judgment until I get the details though. Besides, it’s not like he’s a publicly elected official or anything.

Mayoral Bar Fight – Sigh… the mayor of a Wisconsin town has been asked to step down following a late-night bar room scuffle, but said on Thursday he would not resign despite a unanimous vote by a city council committee. Bob Ryan, 48, told WHBL-AM radio that he intended to seek outpatient alcohol rehabilitation treatment while continuing to act as mayor of Sheboygan, a city of 50,000 located about an hour north of Milwaukee on the shores of Lake Michigan (also the self-proclaimed Bratwurst Capital of the World… and their Brat Days festival is this weekend… please don’t ask me how I know that). According to a police report, the scuffle occurred early on Monday, when police were summoned by an emergency caller to the Brown Baer tavern in nearby Elkhart Lake, where a man in a blue shirt was said to be causing a disturbance. When the officer arrived, patrons identified Ryan, who was sitting on the curb wearing a blue shirt, as the man the caller had been complaining about. But because the bar owners said everything was fine and no victim stepped forward, the officer gave Ryan a verbal warning, the police report said. The Sheboygan Press newspaper posted pictures on its website of a man it identified as Ryan slumped over a table at the bar. It cited witnesses who said Ryan had been drinking and making rude comments to some female bar patrons, leading to the scuffle with another patron. This is the fourth time in two years that Ryan's use of alcohol has come under scrutiny (that’s right… not once, twice or thrice… but four times). In September 2009, a widely publicized YouTube video showed the mayor making sexually explicit comments about his sister-in-law while he was at a bar (WHAT?). The cell phone video was released shortly after Angela Payne, the former city human resources director, accused Ryan in a letter of making drunken advances on her at a Sheboygan tavern (Is he a single guy? At a bar? Is she hot? Surprise?). Ryan admitted a relapse in July 2010, saying he went out drinking with his brother, but a city council resolution asking him to resign at the time was voted down 11-5. The council committee met in closed session on Wednesday night and voted to unanimously to ask Ryan to resign. To remove Ryan as mayor, a Sheboygan citizen must bring a certified complaint, and the council must vote to remove him, said Alderman James Bohren, the chairman of the committee that asked Ryan to go. The council was expected to take up that matter on Monday night, Bohren said. Obviously the guy needs a little help… and yeah, you probably don’t want the mayor of your town in rehab during his term… but I’m thinking they’re a little looser with that stuff in the Beer, Cheese & Brats culture that is Wisconsin. Damn… if it wasn’t so f**king cold in the winter, I might be up there right now… and 400 pounds. Best of luck, Mayor Ryan! I hope that you get the help that you need… and I’m totally checking the internet for your past discretions too… because that’s why the internet exists… for porn, finding good restaurants & access TMI of complete strangers.

Bra Chain – Everybody wants to leave a legacy. Make their mark on history. This is… kind of one of those moments… involving a LOT of bras. A British attempt to set a new world record for the longest chain of brassieres was called off after volunteers got the lingerie in a twist. Campaigners at "Bra Chain" hoped to hook together over 100 miles of bras in Worcester to raise money for women's charities and beat the current world record of 166,000 linked brassieres, held by Australia. Volunteers, or "hookers," aimed to connect 200,000 bras, but were forced to quit at half that number when the undergarments became tangled in the boxes. "We underestimated the time it would take to get the bras out of their boxes and hooked together - there were bras all over the place," said Launa Walker at Bra Chain. "It does take a lot of time to assemble bras into a chain and after about nine hours of hooking them up we decided to call it a day," Walker told Reuters. The organizers say they will attempt another world record bid in the future and are still accepting donations of unwanted bras. Hell, I’ll take some too. "We are going to try it again -- we've learnt a few tricks of the trade, now all that remains is to set a date," said Walker. The event was organized in aid of UK women's charities Breakthrough Breast Cancer, the Worcester breast cancer unit and Women's Aid, which supports victims of domestic violence. So it’s for a great cause… and of course, you have to love any organization that refers to their volunteers as hookers. God knows I do. Best of luck, ladies! I dream of one day seeing a chain of brassieres as far as the eye can see… all in the name of saving women from cancer & douches.

Well, that’ll do it for today. I’ll leave you with that image in your mind… of bras going off into the sunset. Wish me luck with my new cell phone. Hopefully I can convince them on a decent price for a new one. I did get insurance… but I’m pretty sure they mentioned the one thing that it didn’t cover was water… which sucks. I think I even made a stupid joke when that was mentioned like, “Oh okay, I just won’t go swimming in the lake with it then. Ha ha ha!” HAHAHA INDEED, DUMBASS!!! Oh well, even my stepsister said “You’re handling this really well.” “Well, it’s no big deal. I know my way back to San Francisco, everybody can go a day without hearing from me I’m sure… and it’s not like I can be mad at anybody but myself. It’s all good. We all make mistakes.” Just remember, to keep it all in perspective. Have a great day everybody!!!

Chihuahua - More Than Just an Ugly Dog

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

It’s official. I’ve entered the 21st century with my communication format. After being one of only a few of my friends who have used and/or know what a rotary telephone is, and waiting well into my 23rd year for a cell phone, I now have a fancy new 4G phone (whatever that means, 4th generation?) Droid Incredible… and I have absolutely no idea how to use it. Some of the stuff is pretty self-explanatory… but my brother’s been going off all week about all the things that his does… but when I ask him how to set mine up, apparently ours are different… and he has no idea. No worries. I may just swing by the Verizon store tonight (like I did last night for over an hour just to get set up) and we’ll get some of the basic cool stuff down. It does call, text, etc like my old one so I’m not out of the loop. It even plays videos… and can access the internet… and oddly enough, the coolest thing I’ve found… is the Star Maps app. I know, I’m a nerd. Anyway, so that’s what I’ve been up to recently… and watching football, baseball & season two of “Dollhouse” with a few hikes before the weather gets too bad. The nights are cold & lonely but what else is new. Anyway, here’s the news…

Chihuahua Police Chief – I assume you’ve all been watching the news and hearing about the CRAZY sh*t going on in Mexico between the government, the drug cartels, and anybody else down there apparently. Well, here’s a story that I thought I’d share with ya. A 20-year-old smokin’ hot Latina criminology student has been named the chief of police in one of the most dangerous municipalities in Mexico's violence-wracked northern state of Chihuahua. Marisol Valles Garcia, the only person to accept the post, took charge of public security for Guadalupe Distrito Bravo on Monday, according to radio station network Notisistema. The district has a population of 9,148 residents, according to newspaper La Jornada, and comes with at least one police car, Notisistema reported. The state of Chihuahua has borne the brunt of spiraling drug-related violence that has left around 28,000 dead throughout Mexico in the last four years. Guadalupe's former mayor was assassinated in June, and local police have been kidnapped and murdered. At least eight people were slain in the last week alone in Guadalupe, news.com.au reported. The tiny but energetic Valles Garcia says she wants her 13 officers to practice a special brand of community policing. She plans to hire more women (she currently has three) and assign each to a neighborhood to talk with families, promote civic values and detect potential crimes before they happen. "My people are out there going door to door, looking for criminals, and (in homes) where there are none, trying to teach values to the families," she said before she was presented to the public on Wednesday. Is that not some of the craziest sh*t you’ve ever heard? A girl (borderline woman) fresh out of community college is the only person willing to step up and be the chief of police in one of the most hellish communities on Earth. Do you think she did it because they’ll make a movie about it? Mmm… Eva Mendes would be nice in the lead… but then again, she ain’t twenty any more. It’d have to be some chick off Glee or something. Anyway, just thought I would share that with you. Start writing your scripts now… and hopefully this story has a happy ending. Who will costar in this epic tale?

Cage Update - Oscar-winning actor Nicolas Cage said Thursday that nations must work together in the battle against organized crime. Cage, a United Nations goodwill ambassador for global justice (who knew?), said the threat posed by criminal networks is too big for communities or states to confront on their own so that countries must cooperate with one another. "Organized crime is a deadly infection that preys on human beings," Cage told delegates in a steely demeanor with a hint of badass at a conference aimed at boosting support for a U.N. convention to curb organized crime. "It sows fear and violence in cities, towns and villages around the world." Cage warned that regions weakened by conflict, lawlessness and extreme poverty are especially susceptible to traffickers of illegal drugs, weapons and even humans. "It feeds off instability, and also makes instability worse," he said. Cage described being a U.N. goodwill ambassador as his "most challenging and meaningful role" yet and divulged that he even once considered leaving the movie business to devote more time to helping others. "At some point I wanted to stop being an actor and start taking action," he said. But then he went into mind-blowing debt and instead is doing terrible movies to pay the mortgage. It happens to all of us. Cage was visibly touched when talking about child victims he met in Uganda and Kenya and a 15-year old Somali boy serving a 10-year prison sentence for piracy (not of DVDs). These encounters were "heart-wrenching" and "deeply humbled" him, he said. Cage highlighted the role of NGO's, judges, prosecutors, doctors, religious leaders and others in helping victims of organized crime, saying he now understood "who the world's real heroes are." Yury Fedotov, head of the United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime, praised Cage as a "humanitarian" who promoted a "victim-centered approach" to tackling organized crime. Way to keep the good fight, Ambassador Cage. We really do need to find a way to stop this craziness. It does sound like something out of a bad movie… not Dinocroc vs. Supergator bad… but you know, pretty bad. Speaking of humanitarians…

Wesley Snipes as MLK? – Hold up, it might not quite be what you think. Passenger 57 himself Wesley Snipes IS getting involved in the 1960's-set true story thriller biopic "Code Name Zorro" though, reports Deadline. The film centers on the final moments in the life of William Sullivan, the man who headed up the Zorro project - a super-covert program initiated by J. Edgar Hoover to destroy Martin Luther King's credibility (oh yeah). From wiretapping to fraud, the group set up numerous illegal schemes and Sullivan intended to air all of the dirty laundry about the project to a journalist. Sullivan was killed in a "hunting accident" shortly thereafter (with Cheney?). Justin Stamm penned the script and Snipes has received endorsement from Martin Luther King Jr.'s son, Martin Luther King III. Snipes will produce, be involved in selecting cast and director, and will likely play a role though which one is presently undetermined… so probably not the doctor himself… though when you’re producer, you do have certain privileges. An incredibly interesting time in American history… and certainly not one of its finest moments… but may be good in bringing some things to light.

Anyway, just a little update. Now I have to get to back to figuring out how to use my damn phone. Any tips or advice would be greatly appreciated. Have a great day everybody!!!