Showing posts with label warwick davis. Show all posts
Showing posts with label warwick davis. Show all posts

Friday, December 2, 2011

Some Friday WTF?!

Its Friday morning and I'm not sure if I've had a serious thought run through my head all week... and I'm not about to start now. But I've already blown my load this week (in more ways than one) using pictures of women in almost nothing, and can't go back to that well.... what to do now, what to do....


So we're just going to go with a bit of WTF? for this Friday morning. As in WTF is that thing up above me here. This chick has her head wrapped like a pork roast. If she keeps this for a few more days do you think her face will stay that way? Quick, someone slap her.....


If you've been wondering how such a stud like myself could still be on the open market after all of the displays of my greatness, ponder it no more. The proof is right here, the perfect girl for me is out there, unfortunately, someone beat me to her. If that's not the wedding for this guy, I don't know what is.

You have to go to this page though, its where I got this pic from, and MAN do they have some funny ones....


This is the kind of outside the box thinking that I'm talking about... fast, efficient, cost effective and always gets it done.... why can't we be more like the Japanese, its no wonder they lead the world in everything, they've even got the market cornered on how to kill yourself right... in front of a live audience no less.


This would be even more disturbing if you knew where this toilet was.... the Men's room.... in Penn Station....


Talk about your romantic vacations pictures. The absolute best part of this photo is the smiley face across his ass. Does it make me weird that the first question that came to my mind was if he was coming or going?


The gift that keeps giving. To everybody. Don't I keep telling you all that there are a million things in this world to be thankful for?


You didn't think I'd go an entire piece without having one smoking hot beauty in here, did you? Of course not! Seriously, I actually know this girl, I spoke about her in my very 1st ever post and believe it or not she's really cool. The same can't be said for most that look like her. And for all of the "famous" people that are supposedly doing so well, she's got a much bigger internet presence than a lot of them. Keep up the good.... yeah....


Its feeding time. I bet you didn't know that camels eat their prey head first. I don't care how old he is, or what the situation is that brought this about.... if a camel eats your head, I'm pretty much convinced that you deserve it!


Is that a dog or an R.O.U.S? "Rodents Of Unusual Size? I don't think they exist."

In the hot tub with your baby, a muppet, and you're brand new pink AK-47 with banana clip..... PRICELESS! There's so many places you can go with this that I don't even know where to start, but I have no doubt these people know just how to end it.....


Huh. When a bum freezing his nuts off on a bench looks down passed his cigarette on you and has to ask himself... WTF?!.... and you're going to be responsible for whatever happens to that kid in your belly. Somehow the rest of us are going to have to pay the price for this one.


Penn State University has just unveiled the Jerry Sandusky Children's Center....


Uh.... yeah.... he must have come from the same home as the woman at the top beginning of the piece.... Honestly, I can't hate. That English girl I was sleeping with told me that she couldn't give me what she was looking for. Now she's going out with this guy.


Supergirl, I love you. What a perfect uniform. I don't know what it is that I did wrong, but it was completely unforgivable... and now this superhero is going to have to punish me!


Bring out the gimp! Don't lie, you're that asshole on all fours looking the other way, we all know it, and now your secrets out! I know, I know, that's not fair.... these are the poor bastards that Supergirl up top caught. This is the punishment she doles out.... careful what you wish for pal!


Honestly, I don't see the problem here. This is probably the most lifelike drawing I've ever seen. You had just better watch yourself buddy, I hear Timmy the cat fucker is on the prowl, and that's bound to be looking pretty good to him.

That's real business that Timmy the cat fucker thing. We used to know a guy named Timmy that fucked cats and told everyone about it. That's not the crazy part of it. The crazy thing is that every girl he had sex with looked like Supergirl or my amazingly hot friend up there. And that doesn't surprise me in the slightest. It only goes to proves the people you women think are great.....


When I saw this I couldn't help but cry. This same exact thing happened to my brother. He was 12 at the time walking my 130 lb Rotty when she saw a squirrel and took off after it. She dragged that kid half a block on his stomach like some old Cowpoke getting lynched, it was GREAT!


This was taken in my high school locker room. No, seriously, this is what they used to do in there. Just be happy they haven't started playing leap frog yet... yeah, that happened too. Look at the smiles on their faces, they're loving this. Except for maybe that first guy on the left, what's with the blowers cramp? Maybe he's the engine today.


CLASSY! That's very lady like, and you told me they don't make women the way that they used to anymore.... All I know is that Toledo Firefighters don't fuck around! She's doing that mid conversation too, back home we call that a good woman!

Right now she's thinking.... "I wonder if he notices...."


Ron and Harry have always been so close.... special friends.... keep the magic in your pants fellas....


Baby.... you've got your spare tire... I've got mine. I can't be sure, but I don't think those are Michelin tires. Mom's got some hammers though, doesn't she. At what point does he say, you know what would make this the perfect romantic moment.... the donut from my Dodge! But hey, whatever works right? You can't hide that look of love in their eyes....


This right here is my retirement plan. I've got it all worked out. And since I'm plum out of spare tires... and I don't fuck cats... it may be a while before some gorgeous thing gives me those same longing looks, so I had better pucker up my asshole and get my yellow ready....


Now that we've gone over all of this nonsense, it appears as if the boys have my plans for the weekend all set up and ready to go, so I had better get out of here. That little guy is an impatient prick, hates when we keep him waiting. Until now though, I never realized how much he resembles Tony Fuckface.... spitting image.....

Until next time...

Later People!


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Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Peacocks DO fly! And.... it could always be worse.

Look at what I started! Maybe it's just the Reticular Activating System, but Peacocks are everywhere, and they're running wild!



This guy escaped from the Central Park Zoo the other day to perch himself up on a 5th floor window in Manhattan. Don't be the only one left on the block. Come hide with the herd and float with the flock....

I can't say what's going on with me, but I've been a special kind of asshole lately, snapping for no reason, getting on people's asses, it's not good. Whatever it is I constantly have to remind myself that it could always be worse. Now, I am a certified life coach and NLP practitioner, so I've done countless hours of research on positive thinking and all of that, and I do believe in it to an extent, but part of that is also appreciating what you have. Years ago I had gotten majorly depressed and lost about 35 pounds in a 2 week span, probably could have gotten really sick. What got me out of it was watching episodes of Party of Five, where every week Charlie got ball cancer or Neve Campbell got pregnant by some random stranger... or Scott Wolf found himself torn between smoking hot Amanda Beckett (Jennifer Love HugeTits) or that little boy he's had his eye on, and listening to The Cure over and over again.



Of course, if any of my buddies had come down into my basement dungeon apartment at the time and seen what I was up to they would have burned me on that. "Dude, what the fuck are you watching? And who the hell is crying on the radio? No wonder you want to kill yourself!" Still though, every week I would look at those people and say to myself, shit, it could always be worse... I could have ball cancer. And it's been a philosophy I've tried (though not always successfully) to keep in mind as I bang through life's daily bullshit.


That Lacy Chabert got really
fuckin hot, huh?


 Speaking of being that special kind of asshole, I was watching chicks fight again last night, MMA this time, if you can call it that. This one had a really hot body, and kept getting into these ridiculous positions that made you want to grab your shit. But every time she picked her head up her face looked like Warwick Davis.


I can't say there's anything about the idea of banging Willow that gets me hard. Could you imagine being in the middle of it with her, she looks up at you, lust in her eyes screaming "You ARE great!". I wouldn't know whether to shit or wind my watch.


But no matter what you're going through you always have to think about the things that you do have, and if that still has you sitting on the couch with your head in your hands like the Great Al Birdy crying "Oh God, I can't wake up!" remember... you could always be this guy!



And if that doesn't work just be happy that you don't have ball cancer. And if you DO have ball cancer, just be happy that it's not cock cancer. And if you've got cock cancer, accentuate the positive...

"Ah shit dude, you got Cock Cancer? That fucking sucks"
"Maybe so, but look of the SIZE of this thing now"

You see, it's just one big world of shit, and we're all wrapped up in it. There aint nobody clean! So it's all about making the best of a shitty situation, like this guy



Or maybe that's a woman, I can't tell. But it's a nice sunny day, she's got herself a seat in the shade, relaxing, and enjoying herself a beer. What more could a fella possibly want out of life? But if that's not enough for you, you're day can't possibly be worse than this guy's in the video you're about to watch and absolutely HAVE to see...



All I can say is better him than me. Shit, I don't know about you, but my day just got a whole hell of a lot better.

Special thanks to Scotty and Robinson for all of your help with today's post. As my closest friend from college so beautifully put it... you'll always be that special kind of asshole to me!

Don't be the only one left on the block
Hide with the herd
Float with the flock

Later people!