I Survived Irene!

It was the "Doomsday Scenario". It was the "50 year storm". There was non-stop, wall to wall coverage of this monster hurricane on the Weather Channel and the news channels. Weathermen and weatherwomen across the nation were standing out in the storm. Many of them have prepared all their lives for such a moment! They were going to have their perfect storm and nobody, including mother nature, was going to deprive them of it.

We were all awestruck and trembling in our boots as we watched the category 1 monster slam into the outer banks of North Carolina! Never before has that state suffered such a fate!

New York Mayor, Nanny Bloomberg, was wringing his hands telling New Yorkers to "get out" reminding them that failure to do so was "illegal". Nanny Bloomberg just loves telling people what to do. After all, he knows best. The average New Yorker is just a blithering dumbass. Wonder what Bloomberg is going to do with all those lawbreakers?

Shepard Smith on the Fox News Channel actually peed his pants 4 or 5 times as he watched the storm approach. It is a good thing for Shepard that there was not a car chase going on in Los Angeles. Otherwise he would have had to do split screen commentary. The Dimocrats have said, "Never let a crisis go to waste." Smith has been heard to say, "Never let a car chase go to waste!"

I was reassured when Hussein Obama finally came on TV to "take charge". He can lower the sea level with a wag of his finger doncha know?

I was even more relieved when MSNBC brought Ray "Schoolbus" Nagin, former New Orleans mayor, on camera to discuss emergency preparedness!

I find it so invigorating when people who generally cannot find their butts with both hands come around to lend their sage advice.

Of course, as I already predicted, the Algore types are saying that the massive category 1 Irene is a signal of "climate change". You just knew it was going to happen.

A couple of days ago I changed from Fox News to the Weather Channel. "Why did you do that?" sweet Wifey asked.

"Because Geraldo Rivera just came on to talk about the Hurricane." I replied.

Sweet Wifey pointed out to me that one good thing about the hurricane was that we actually got WEATHER on the Weather Channel instead of the usual Storm Stories or Jim Cantori's, TALES FROM THE CRYPT. I actually got a little aggravated at Jim Cantori because when they would put the "hurricane expert" on to discuss the storm, Jim Cantori would keep talking......he just wouldn't shut up. Did any of y'all notice that?

It was touch and go there for a while, but with a good stiff drink and some Cheyenne and Maverick reruns stored on the DVR, sweet Wifey and I somehow miraculously survived Irene!