Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
Oh I’m so excited for the adventures this weekend for Dizzy’s birthday celebration Part Two (since last week was more family based). I wish I could tell you more… but she reads this thing… and it’s surprises… so tune in next time.
In the meantime, we got to see a special sneak preview of “White House Down” starring Channing Tatum & Jamie Foxx. Now, this is not to be confused with “Olympus Has Fallen” which came out a few months ago, but it’s basically the same story from what I understand (have yet to see OHF). Did I mention this was free? Okay, so the story is about a young security officer (Tatum) who just bombed the interview for his dream job with the Secret Service & impress his estranged daughter… but they still get to check out the White House & even meet the President (Foxx). Then a paramilitary group takes over the White House, takes out the Secret Service… and only Magic Mike can save President Django. From the director of “Independence Day”, “2012”, “The Day After Tomorrow”, “The Patriot”, “Stargate”, “Universal Soldier” & “Godzilla” you basically know what you’re going to get. Lots of action & explosions, lots of convenient foreshadowing, predictable characters, one-liners, and plot holes the size of America’s influence… but for an action flick, it was pretty decent. Two movies that kept popping into my mind were “The Rock” (basically a frame by frame storyline replacing Alcatraz with the White House) and “Die Hard” (Tatum’s wardrobe, the daughter in danger, terrorists/hostages, etc) but I definitely don’t put it on the same level as those two. It’s okay… but those are legendary. Okay, legendary is a stretch but you get it. I don’t want to give away any spoilers… but you know it has a happy ending, right? Okay… so… along the lines of “Man of Steel” were there was all this destruction & drama & all the things that were “important” five minutes earlier… and all of a sudden it’s wrapped up & everything’s okay… they fly off into the sunset, daughter in hand, President spitting out jokes… for f**k’s sake, I kid you not, they basically said that world peace was imminent at the end… and I wouldn’t have been surprised if a f**king puppy ran up into Channing Tatum’s lap aboard the Air Chopper One or whatever it’s called. It’s that bad or a story… but hey, it’s an action flick, so you give it a LOT of disbelief. I’d say check it out… and now I have to watch “Olympus Has Fallen” to contrast & compare. Damn it! Anyway, here’s some news…
Dino Update - A fossil largely forgotten inside a Chinese museum might actually contain the world’s first bird. Nature magazine reports that the Aurornis xui specimen was technically discovered by a Chinese farmer several years ago. But it had remained unidentified until paleontologist Pascal Godefroit stumbled across the fossil last year in the museum at the Fossil and Geology Park in Yizhou. “In my opinion, it's a bird,” Godefroit, who is at the Royal Belgian Institute of Natural Sciences in Brussels, told Nature. “But these sorts of hypotheses are very controversial. We’re at the origins of a group. The differences between birds and [nonavian] dinosaurs are very thin.” Godefroit and his team of researchers have written a paper on the Aurornis xui that was published in the latest issue of Nature, where it is described as the "most primitive" bird specimen yet discovered. So, why is there a debate on whether the specimen should be considered the world’s first bird? First of all, the Aurornis xui, aka Aurora, most likely didn’t actually fly. “Okay, that’s settled then. What? There’s more? Okay, go on.” Instead, it’s believed its four wings were used to help it glide through forests during the late Jurassic period about 150 million to 160 million years ago. Luis Chiappe, director of the Dinosaur Institute at the Natural History Museum of Los Angeles in California, told Nature that he believes the Archaeopteryx is still the first known “bird” in history, describing Aurora as “something that’s very close to the origin of birds, but it’s not a bird.” In addition, Paul Barrett of the Natural History Museum of London said for now it’s impractical to distinguish which of the two species were in fact birds. "There's such a gradation in features between them that it's very difficult to tell them apart,” Barrett told Science News. Aurornis xui "is certainly an older member of the bird lineage than Archaeopteryx, and it's fair to call it a very primitive bird. But what you call a bird comes down to what you call a bird, and a lot of definitions depend on Archaeopteryx." Nonetheless, Godefroit said the Aurora has hip bones that strongly resemble modern birds. And because the feather fossils are not well preserved, researchers cannot say for certain that the 3-foot-long Aurora was a glider rather than a full-fledged flier. Its length puts it at about the same size as other modern-day pheasants. However, the Aurora is described as having razor-sharp teeth, claws and a long tail that make it sound far more formidable than your average bird. In April 2012, the remains of a giant feathered dinosaur were discovered in China, marking it as the oldest known feathered dinosaur in history. It was estimated to have lived about 10 million years after Aurora. In addition, Godefroit says Archaeopteryx is more closely related to nonavian dinosaurs, meaning that birds would have needed to experience two separate forms of evolution to become the flying creatures they are today. Interestingly, the answer to the debate might lie in the same museum where Aurora was discovered. Godefroit says hundreds of unclassified fossils remain there and at other nearby institutions. “The biodiversity of these small, birdlike dinosaurs was incredible,” he said. So… dinosaurs are interesting… this article, not so much. Kinda sounds like somebody who’s just trying to get into the papers. Like if I were to say to the scientific community, “I’ve figured out that cold fusion thing! You’re welcome…” “That’s great, how does it work?” “Well, it’s not really cold FUSION as you know it… more of a cold fission.” “FISSION? My goodness, I’m… wait… how does that work? That doesn’t really make sense.” “Yeah, totally… because it’s more of a… cold fizzing, that happens readily in nature.” “What?” “Yeah, it’s a cold fizzing beverage… that I have in my hand. Do the Dew, scientists! (Gulp gulp gulp)” “Sir, you’ve wasted our time…” “(Sip) Aaaaah… Yup, totally…”
The New Woody – Some people just have gifts… burning passions that they want to test their limits on every day & just making amazing things, even if just to themselves. This next story… is about one of those people. Putting all other do-it-yourself projects to shame, a Hungarian farmer spent the winter building a car made almost entirely of wood. That’s right, f**k your Prius! THIS is the green automobile. What did this marvel of engineering prowess have to say about his accomplishment & setting the auto industry on its f**king ear? "I love to work with wood," Istvan Puskas, a 51-year-old from the village of Tiszaors, said in what should be considered the biggest understatement ever. The frame, axles, gears and even the gas tank—which Puskas fashioned from an old beer barrel—are made of wood. The engine (from a Fiat 126), steering wheel (from an old Mercedes-Benz) and windshield are virtually the only parts that are not. "My aim was to make it out of wood as much as possible. A wooden car must be made out of wood." Best part: The wife was supportive… though not how you might think. Puskas' wife encouraged him to build the car… rather than spend the winter at the pub. "There's not much to do here," Iren Puskas admitted. Last year, her husband built a fully functioning wooden motorcycle. Istvan Puskas says he started building the wooden car around Christmas. Hmm… I wonder if elves helped a bit… they’re historically pretty good at twiddling toys. According to London's Telegraph, the vehicle cannot be officially registered, but police allow him to drive it on the village's local lanes. However, Puskas plans to sell it. "I have no place to store it. I have no garage. I have nothing. It can be good for a collector, for somebody who likes nostalgia [and] for somebody who likes to drive slowly." He added that he'll use the money from the sale for his next project: a three-wheeled car. So if you’re interested in purchasing a fully functional wooden car (and you could probably get a good deal from a Hungarian farmer) then reach out to Istvan (I think that’s Hungarian for $teve by the way) by hitting him up on… Face… book… wait, how do you reach him? Sigh… come on journalists!!! If you’re going to bring this story to the masses, then at least give the masses some information. F**king media… oh well, as long as they get paid, right?
Tebow Update – After last year’s fiasco with the Denver Broncos & New York Jets, Tim Tebow is back on the field with an NFL team… and best of all, it’s the New England Patriots. The Patriots announced the signing of the former Jets quarterback on Tuesday, six weeks after he was cut by New York and just in time for the start of the three-day Patriots minicamp that runs through Thursday. Tebow practiced with veteran New England starter Tom Brady and backup Ryan Mallett. The newest Patriot wore No. 5, not his familiar 15 (which belongs to Mallett) on his shorts and helmet. The QBs wore red jerseys without numbers. "First and foremost, I just want to thank the Patriots for giving me an opportunity. I'm very thankful," Tebow said on the field after practice. "It's such an honor to be a Patriot and play for Coach (Bill) Belichick and for Coach (Josh) McDaniels, learn under Tom (Brady), and be a part of this very successful franchise." Two people with knowledge of the deal told The Associated Press that Tebow was signed for two years with no guaranteed money. One person says he will make the veteran's minimum salary, $630,000 in 2013, with incentives. The people spoke on condition of anonymity because terms of the deals had not officially been announced. "Anything we do, we feel is in the best interests of the team," Belichick said at a standing-room-only news conference before practice. "We'll see how it goes." Let the media circus begin!Allow me to provide a little recap of the Tim Tebow story for those who may not be familiar. While at the University of Florida, he was an option-style quarterback, won a Heisman & two national championships… but everybody said his style wouldn’t translate to the NFL. Oh… and he’s also basically the 2nd coming of Football Jesus, devout Christian (like… DE-VOUT!!!), one of the nicest & well-grounded individuals you will ever find, has a movie star smile, a master of the lost art of humility & allegedly a virgin… but still, the NFL is skeptical of that stuff apparently. On draft day 2010, the Denver Broncos took a gamble on him with a 1st round draft pick under then-coach Josh McDaniels. A year or so passes, coach McDaniels is fired because the team isn’t doing too hot, new coach John Fox steps in, starting quarterback is hurt midway through another disappointing season… and then the backup Tebow steps in… and basically pulls off an amazing string of victories to not only get the Broncos into the playoffs, but give them a win over the Steelers too. Incredible! How was he rewarded for helping save the franchise? They sign Peyton Manning a few months later & trade him to the New York Jets (aka NFL’s 7th ring of hell). After a horrible year for that franchise, they release Tebow, his future in the NFL is questioned because his style isn’t the norm of the NFL… and now the most dominant franchise of the millennium is taking a chance on him. Also, he’s reunited with the coach that took a chance on him back in Denver, Josh McDaniels, who is now the Patriots offensive coordinator. How does the 25 year old feel about the whole experience? "I'm looking forward to working hard every single day, and getting a lot better, and learning under some great people," Tebow said during his 40-second visit with reporters. "So, that's all I got. But thank you so much and God bless. I'm sure we'll be talking more soon." There is no guarantee that Tebow will still be with the Patriots when training camp begins next month, but if the Patriots keep him, he would have time to develop as a quarterback since Brady holds that job. Tebow even could be tried at tight end, where the status of Rob Gronkowski is uncertain after he had his fourth operation on his broken left forearm on May 20 and faces back surgery this month. Whatever the situation may be with the Patriots, I wish Tim Tebow the best. He seems like a great guy who works hard & just wants to do great things & spread the word of Christ or whatever… and I’d much rather see him doing well than somebody who killed a pedestrian while driving drunk or is a repeatedly convicted woman beater or murderer or coke addict or any other potential Pro Bowler out there in the NFL. You know who you are… Best of luck, Timmy!
Coach Kidd – In semi-local news, Oakland born & raised basketball legend Jason Kidd retired earlier this week from the New York Knicks were he spent last season, his 19th season in the league… and fittingly enough, the same week that former co-Rookie of the Year Grant Hill decided to hang up his pro sneaks. Then came the real news!!! Just a few days later, the Brooklyn Nets hired Jason Kidd as their new head coach, bringing the former star back to the franchise he led to its greatest NBA success. The Nets decided to hire him to replace P.J. Carlesimo despite Kidd’s absence of coaching experience. "Jason Kidd has a long and legendary history with the Nets and with the city of New York," Nets owner Mikhail Prokhorov said in a statement. "He has the fire in the belly we need, and has achieved as a player everything the Brooklyn Nets are striving to achieve. We believe he will lead us there. Welcome home, Jason." The move reunites Kidd with the franchise he led to consecutive NBA Finals in 2002-03, when they played in New Jersey. He spent 6½ seasons with the Nets, averaging 14.6 points, 9.1 assists and 7.2 rebounds, and is their career leader in numerous statistical categories. "Jason is a proven winner and leader with an incredible wealth of basketball knowledge and experience," general manager Billy King said. "This will be a natural transition for him to move into the role of head coach, as he embodies the tough, smart and team-first mentality that we are trying to establish in Brooklyn." Terms of the deal that made Kidd the 18th coach in franchise history were not disclosed. The Nets will introduce Kidd on Thursday during a press conference at Barclays Center. It has been an interesting offseason for the Nets franchise. Coach Carlesimo wasn't retained after leading the Nets into the playoffs, where they lost to the Chicago Bulls in the first round. He went 35-19 after replacing Avery Johnson, who was fired in December. The 40-year-old Kidd was considered one of the smartest players in the NBA, which he believes will help him make the transition into coaching. "This is a tremendous opportunity to be named head coach of the Brooklyn Nets, and it's a role I have been studying for over the course of my playing days. Championship teams are built on being prepared, playing unselfishly and being held accountable, and that's how I expect to coach this basketball team." Kidd has a close friendship with Nets point guard Deron Williams and the respect of many in the organization for his achievements as a player. He is second on the NBA's career list in assists and steals (behind the great John Stockton), won an NBA title with Dallas and has two Olympic gold medals… now it’s on to his next challenge. Best of luck, Jason!
So with that, have a great weekend everybody & I’ll update you on adventures from this weekend as soon as possible!!!
