This Week in Green

Good Morning Ladies & Gentlemen,


I'd like to start things off by wishing a very happy birthday to Jewels!!! She's enjoying herself down in Arizona, I'm sure...but we miss ya. MOIST!!! (She hates that word) Anyway, Saturday night, I walked around downtown while others were getting good & drunk in early preparation for St. Patrick's Day and most were wearing green...and some weren't...probably hoping that they'd get pinched for at least some sort of physical contact. Regardless, I just walked around and admired the city really. I like just walking around downtown...especially when it's cool weather, not cold. Yeah, it's been up into the sixties again the past few days, so the nights were nice & cool. Couldn't really ask for better weather...but it tends to change every few hours here in Denver, so keep your fingers crossed for tomorrow's big day.



Yesterday, I cleaned up the apartment a bit, went to the gym, went to the grocery store, cooked some dinner, and while flipping through the channels, I stumbled upon "Saving Private Ryan" on TNT or something. Now, I've mentioned before that I have never seen this movie...and have tried to watch it a few times in the past...but never made it past the first few gruesome minutes of the storming of Normandy. No, not because I'm a wuss when it comes to blood on movies...but because some kid would show up and I'd have to stop watching it (happened in Vegas and at my brother's) or it's a three hour epic and I only had a few minutes to spare between school and work (also happened twice when my dad rented it) but then I saw it was on TV yesterday...so I thought, "F**k it, I'm gonna watch it." Though I'm sure it was absolutely butchered and I may have to rent it to see it again, I watched it...and it was an amazing movie. Outstanding cast with Tom Hanks, Tom Sizemore, Giovanni Ribisi, Vin Diesel, Matt Damon, Edward Burns, and others...and the special effects and realism was outstanding. It was gritty, raw, intriguing, conflicting, rooted and was just an outstanding movie. Quite possibly one of the best war movies that I've ever seen. I was even moved to tears right at the end. That's right. It's my party and I'll cry if I want to. You tell me that you didn't cry watching the end of the movie, Mr. Tough Guy. Anyway, check it out if you like war movies and have a fairly strong stomach (it's rated R for blood and gore and WWII).



Other than that, didn't do a whole lot yesterday. The Mad Scientist & From Russia With Love will be coming to town later today, so I'll just get you updated in the world...of the color green.



Can O' Spinach - Police with the New Mexico Motor Transportation Division found 1,200 pounds of pot packed in cans labeled as spinach during a stop at the Gallup port of entry. An inspector noticed that only a few of the cans were labeled and that the weight printed on the side of the can didn't match the actual weight. A closer look during last Friday's bust revealed the canned drugs, which were worth an estimated $1.5 million (that's a lotta green). The four pallets of cans were being transported along with fresh produce. The 50-year-old truck driver said he was on his way from California to the East Coast. The driver and the cargo were turned over to the Drug Enforcement Administration. Now you know how Popeye always got so strong when he ate spinach. No, not because he was a pothead. Because he just had a can of steroids and PCP marked as spinach. Bluto didn't stand a chance (though he seemed to be roid raging too).



Gotta Watch Out for Criminals - Authorities said a man stopped with 17 marijuana plants in the bed of his pickup told police he was moving them to protect them from burglars who robbed his house the night before. Police said they arrested a 26-year-old man after receiving a tip that two men were loading pot plants onto a truck around noon Saturday (seriously, not even thinking to do it during the week when everybody's at work…or at NIGHT?). Police reported finding the plants beneath a cover in the truck bed. Authorities said the man was charged with cultivating marijuana and the truck's driver was charged with felony marijuana possession. The driver told police he was only driving the truck because the man's license was suspended. Both men were later released on bond, James bond. I read stories like this and I think that maybe I could've been a pretty good amateur botanist or drug dealer…because I think stuff through, sometimes to a downfall…and I don't get high on my own supply. Then again, I'm also against unconcentual prison rape…and don't want to deal with that at all…so I stayed away from that lifestyle. Maybe I could just be like a consultant or something. "Hey, Dr Love, I just got robbed last night of some…salad. How do I hide this…salad without anybody noticing?" "Hmm, well the last thing that you're going to want to do is load up your trees of…salad around noon on Saturday while your nosey ass neighbors are cutting their grass." "Oh really? I thought that would be the perfect time. You know, hiding in plain sight." "As your advisor I must ask you…are you high right now?" "A little." "Do you mean a lot? Or is this just a permahigh kind of thing?" "What?" "Okay, listen up, write it down. Here's what you do…"



Phish Back In Concert - After many years, the group Phish were finally able to come together to do a reunion tour. However, some of their fans are leaving Hampton, Virginia a little lighter than when they arrived for the band's weekend reunion. Police said Monday they confiscated about $1.2 million in illegal drugs (remember the truckload from the earlier story?) and more than $68,000 in cash from concertgoers. Authorities also arrested 194 Phish fans during the three-night celebration of the band's return to the stage after a nearly five-year absence. Most of the arrests were for drug possession, use and distribution, police said. Tourism officials had estimated 75,000 fans would be coming to the coastal Virginia city. Nearly 200 law enforcement officers worked the weekend event, with the Vermont-based band picking up the tab. You have to hand it to law enforcement. There are a few surefire places to find somebody holding…and they're usually concerts. This is an example…of what you DON'T do. Sure, it's a great place to search for clientele if you're an aspiring purveyor of botanical goods…but you know that police are all over that place, especially if it's a coliseum or something.



March Madness - Speaking of green, do you realize that sports gambling's biggest day is upon us. No, not the Super Bowl. Apparently, there's more money spent on the amateur sports gambling world of men's college basketball's tournament than the Super Bowl. I think there are statistics to back it up...but whatever, I believe it, so it must be true. Last night, they announced all the teams that will be involved in the tournament...and of the 65 (someone else can explain why there's 65 instead of 64 in a single-elimination tournament) there are THREE colleges from Utah - the University of Utah in Salt Lake City, Brigham Young University in Provo, and Utah State University in Logan. Oddly enough, none from Colorado in this year's tournament. Not unusual really...but there you go. I think Air Force (Colorado Springs) was in it last year...but whatever. Anyway, I was looking through the brackets...and I got to thinking about last year when Appalachian State's football team beat Michigan...and my first thought was "Where the f**k is Appalachian State?" Kudos to anybody that still remembers. Anybody? Anybody? Boone, North Carolina. You were WAY off. Anyway, as I looked over some of the lesser known colleges in the tournament, I thought I would look up the cities where these colleges that I didn't know were...and share them with you...and even threw in a few that I did know...but you might not unless you were kind of a nerd like me...so here you go. Try to guess where they are first...and then look at the answers.

• Morehead State - Yeah, this is a fun one to guess...but it's in the city of Morehead, Kentucky


• Radford - Wasn't entirely sure...but it's in Radford, Virgina. Now I know.


• Morgan State - Edgar Allen Poe's hometown of Baltimore, Maryland


• Gonzaga - Anybody who had to grow up watching John Stockton play basketball knows that it's in Spokane, Washington. My aunt that I can't stand used to live there.


• American University - As you may have guessed, it's in Washington D.C. Doesn't get more American than that...


• Robert Morris - Located just outside of Pittsburgh in an area known as Moon Township, Pennsylvania. Who the f**k was Robert Morris? Don't worry, they even had that on their website. He was known as "The Financier of the American Revolution" and his story can be found here. I remember him as a former linebacker at BYU and with the Colts.


• Villanova - Basically it's in Villanova, a suburb of Philadelphia. Don't worry, there's more fairly well known colleges in the sunny area of Philadelphia...like the dragons of Drexel. I toured a few while I was college hunting a decade ago. Another Philly school in the tournament is...


• Temple - Yeah, it's in Philly. GO EAGLES!!!


• Purdue - Located in West Lafayette, Indiana


• Butler - In England somewhere? Nope. Also located in Indiana...in Indianapolis.


• Cornell - Ithaca, New York


• Stephen F. Austin - Knew that it had to be in Texas somewhere...but oddly enough, not in Austin. It's a city that in eastern Texas called Nacogdoches...which I believe is Spanish for "The Whale's Phallus" or something.


• Xavier - Founded by Professor Charles Xavier and known as a university for the gifted, Xavier is located in...oh wait, apparently this is a different Xavier University. That explains why they're called the Mountaineers instead of the Mutants. Anyway, the Mountaineers hail from the Queen City of Cincinatti, Ohio.


• Marquette - Where else would spawn a man like Rick Majerus but a city in the heart of meat & cheese country like Milwaukee, Wisconsin. I also think that Utah State has a good chance of upsetting them in the first round of the tournament. You heard it here first, kids.


• Siena - Pretty name...and located in Loudonville, New York


• North Dakota State - Obviously these guys are in North Dakota...but they're making their first trip to the big dance so I thought I'd throw them in...and besides, they're nickname's the Bison, so I've gotta vote for them. Oh yeah, the university is in the bustling metropolis of Fargo. Yeah, like the movie.
  

Other than that, I'm not going to bore you with my picks for the tournament (patent pending) but just say that I STILL think that North Carolina will win it all...and Blake Griffin of Oklahoma will win Player of the Year. Aside from that, I just like basketball, so sorry to bore you...but I had to spread the education about our educational facilities all across the United States. Oh...and just because I was curious last year, Oral Roberts is located in Tulsa, Oklahoma and was founded by an evangelist named Oral Roberts. It's not just a clever name for a party college. Quite the opposite actually. Being a devout Christian establishment, probably not a whole lot of Oral Bobs going on there...but I have been fooled before.




That'll do it for today. Not much else in the color green other than tomorrow is St. Patrick's Day and I plan on getting a little tipsy in my green suit. Okay, maybe just the suit at work...but we'll see. Whatever I wear, I'll make it work. I always do. Have a great day everybody!!!