No Man Is An Island

Good Morning Ladies & Gentlemen,

Happy Friday the 13th!!! Not bad having two of these in consecutive months…but that's what February does most of the time. Last night, I ended up only working a 12-hour shift so it wasn't that bad (used to do those all the time at the last job) so afterwards, I went home and watched a movie that I had never seen before but heard good things about "The Seven Year Itch" starring Marilyn Monroe…and some guy (Thomas Ewell). It was actually a quite hilarious film…especially by 50's film standards. The story is about a Manhattan man whose wife & child go to Maine for the summer, leaving him home to work and provide for his family. Meanwhile, a curvaceous new neighbor (Marilyn, of course) moves in upstairs and his overactive imagination takes over…and it's actually quite reassuring to a crazy guy like myself…that there may actually be other people like that out there. At the beginning of the movie, he's just talking to himself in his apartment…and I do that ALL the time (schizophrenia maybe?) but then he goes into these elaborate and imaginative little skits that are basically just like something out of my blog. The title is about a theory that after being with somebody for seven years, men tend to start questioning themselves about whether they chose the right mate, could I still play the field, blah blah blah…and so their mind (and possibly other parts) starts to wander. I have no idea what that's about…because I've only lasted three months before…but there may be something to it. Of course, that's all fine & dandy…but don't forget, if my neighbor were Marilyn Monroe, I'd have wandering eyes too…and God knows my imagination would simply run rampant. It already is…and she's been dead for almost fifty years now. I would highly recommend this flick to anybody who enjoys good clean comedy with a healthy dose of eye candy. It's on par with "Some Like It Hot" in my opinion, as one of the great classic comedies.

Speaking of some liking it hot, the hot water has been off at my apartments the past two mornings…so yesterday, I awoke to a frighteningly brisk shower to start off my long day at work…and then this morning, I ended up just going the gym to take my shower…because they still had hot water. It will allegedly be taken care of by tonight…so it's a LOT faster than when I had a similar problem at the old apartment. I believe that one took a few weeks…but luckily it was during the summer, so the cold water wasn't that bad. It's dropped back down into the thirties for highs here in Denver though, so yeah, hot water is appreciated this time of year. Also found out that they have a St. Patrick's Day Parade tomorrow that goes two blocks from my house by Coors Field, so I'll have to check that out. I wonder if they'll throw beads…or preferably beers…but that may not be kid-friendly. I may have to wait until Tuesday to get my drink on…and I shall get my drink on…because luckily I live within staggering distance of a plethora of drinking establishments. Anyway, you already knew that. Here's some news...

No Man Is An Island - A man accused of driving drunk said Pennsylvania courts have no jurisdiction over him because he's his own country. After seeing the paperwork that 44-year-old Scott Allan Witmer filed with the court claiming sovereignty, a Northampton County judge said Tuesday he cannot be released from jail until he gets a mental exam. Witmer, who represented himself, said he believes police lack jurisdiction to pull him over. As he said in court: "I live inside myself, not in Pennsylvania." He said there is no victim in the crime and asked to go to trial. Defense attorney James Connell, Witmer's standby counsel, said a challenge to the traffic stop would need to be filed as a pretrial motion. It's ballsy. I like it. However, I'm pretty sure that it's not going to hold up in court. No man is an island…or even a sovereign nation. Sure, we may have our own Republic within our minds…but to say that you are a isolated nation of one is kind of a stretch. Then again, each individual is responsible for their own financial situation based upon trade with other nations, has a varying sense of justice, different regulations for what they watch on TV, ability to boycott other nations, occasionally conflict can result but we can also have a peaceful meeting of goodwill, so maybe there is something to that…but yeah, Mr. Witmer's still screwed…and with good reason, you should never drink & drive. Thus being a law of the land of $tevonia. So let it be written, so let it be done.

Finding Mick's Killer - A Los Angeles councilman has announced a $50,000 reward for help solving the 30-year-old slaying of a gym manager believed to be the inspiration of a "Rocky" movie character. Councilman Dennis Zine made the announcement Wednesday for information leading to arrests in the March 1977 slaying of Howard Steindler. Steindler was beaten and forced into his own gold Cadillac a block from his home. He was found robbed and smothered in the car. Steindler ran the Main Street Gym, where boxing stars such as Muhammad Ali and Jack Dempsey trained. He is widely believed to have inspired the character Mickey Goldmill, the boxing manager played by Burgess Meredith in the films. Interesting that such a reward would be offered now…especially since they've done so well finding out information on the alleged killers of Biggie & Tupac (remember my theory?) but I had no idea that Mick was actually inspired by somebody. I thought he was more of a composite character - like a mix of a typical boxing trainer, the Penguin & Jesus. I'm also thinking of a new reboot for the Rocky movie series…starting over from Rocky III. Now, here me out, Mr. T can still be Clobber Lang…and still beat Rocky the first time…but instead of Mick having a heart attack, he's smothered in his own Cadillac (always wondered what he drove) and this sends Rocky into a jungles of Colombia (somehow) after his killers…because Mick was getting too close to the drug trade in Philadelphia…and a mysterious drug lord known only as El Gatto had to make an example of him. Then Rocky recruits an elite team of underworld mercenaries to go in with him…and he's told of this group of such men called the A-Team…and who's a member of that team? Clobber Lang. We can call it "Rocky III: Expendables" and we can get Jason Statham, Jet Li, Mickey Rourke, Eric Roberts, Randy Couture, and even a fellow $teve who works out, Stone Cold Steve Austin now. We can even have Ivan Drago (Dolph Lundgren) in there as a tie in to "Rocky IV", my God this thing almost writes itself. What? They're already kind of doing that? The only difference is the finding Mick's killer angle? Dang it. You're good, Mr. Stallone. I can see why they call you Sly.

Venice Update - Venice, Italy is one of the most beautiful cities in all of the world. It may also be washed away in a matter of weeks because of global warming and the rising tides…but in the meantime, it's dark secrets are being found out. VAMPIRES once ran rampantly through the narrow streets and canals. Matteo Borrini, an anthropologist from the University of Florence (Italy, not Kentucky or South Carolina), said the discovery on the small island of Lazzaretto Nuovo in the Venice lagoon supported the medieval belief that vampires were behind the spread of plagues like the Black Death. According to Borrini, "This is the first time that archaeology has succeeded in reconstructing the ritual of exorcism of a vampire. This helps ... authenticate how the myth of vampires was born." The skeleton was unearthed in a mass grave from the Venetian plague of 1576 (in which the artist Titian died) on Lazzaretto Nuovo, which lies around three km (2 miles) northeast of Venice and was used as a sanatorium for plague sufferers. The succession of plagues which ravaged Europe between 1300 and 1700 fostered the belief in vampires, mainly because the decomposition of corpses was not well understood. Gravediggers reopening mass graves would sometimes come across bodies bloated by gas, with hair still growing, and blood seeping from their mouths and believe them to be still alive. The shrouds used to cover the faces of the dead were often decayed by bacteria in the mouth, revealing the corpse's teeth, and vampires became known as "shroud-eaters." According to medieval medical and religious texts, the "undead" were believed to spread pestilence in order to suck the remaining life from corpses until they acquired the strength to return to the streets again. "To kill the vampire you had to remove the shroud from its mouth, which was its food like the milk of a child, and put something uneatable in there. It's possible that other corpses have been found with bricks in their mouths, but this is the first time the ritual has been recognized." While legends about blood-drinking ghouls date back thousands of years, the modern figure of the vampire was encapsulated in the Irish author Bram Stoker's 1897 novel "Dracula," based on 18th century eastern European folktales. Okay, so this really has nothing to do with finding out about vampires…more that they can now see how some people might have thought that there was something similar to a vampire back when there was no such thing as public education…but still, Vampires in Venice!!! I'll bet there's a movie out there with a name like that…and when I googled it, there it was...but I have a better one in mind. I can see it now, "Violent & Voluptuous Vampires of Venice" starring a host of Fritalian hotties…in Technicolor…and maybe even 3-D. That's a guaranteed smash hit…even without the Monica Bellucci love scene. Oh yeah, did I forget to mention that? It's because there's going to be so many similar scenes with other Fritalians. I'll have my own day in Italy…like Fellini…only a plot that everybody can enjoy and get. Bellisima!!!

Well, that'll do it for today. Not a whole lot going on…except for the St Patty's Day Parade tomorrow morning…and hopefully the return of hot water to my shower. Stay out of trouble on this unlucky Friday the 13th…and have a great day everybody!!!