2011 NYC Comic - what NOT to do... being remembered the wrong way!

Last night I wrote over five pages on all the wrong things to do when you're trying to make a name or keep your name, build a fan base or hold the love and adoration of people everywhere.... it was biting, it was funny... the sort of thing you pass on to your friends saying "YO, you HAVE to read this..." which is something I very much need. Its that 2nd and 3rd level that really brings success, when you tell your friends and then they tell their friends, which hasn't been happening for me here... and this article had what it took to get there.... you would have been telling everyone about it....

And then I tore it up. Biting, nasty and hurtful funny may be a way to get myself noticed, but its not what I want to be remembered for. Its not how I want people to think of me.

These girls right here knew that I was taking this picture; I had asked them politely before doing so, and this was the reception that I got. Either they were bored with the gig and didn't want to be there or I just wasn't important enough for them to waste their time with.

And when they finally did acknowledge me what I got was a blank stare and a half assed smile. Originally I had ripped them apart. Part of the allure of going to any sort of show like this is getting pictures with the ladies, and when you take a job getting paid for nothing more than how good you look pictures with the oogling customers is part of the gig.

Then I saw that part of the brunettes nipple is showing when you look closely at the picture. She's practically bare breasted here, and maybe she's feeling uncomfortable; the blond there's no excuse for, she has that same indifferent blank stare in every shot.

Compare that to this girl here. Look how nice and sweet she looks. I'm not sure if she was even a model working the booth where I caught her because I didn't see her again for the rest of the weekend, but she hung around until everyone who wanted a picture of her got one, and she did so with a real genuine smile on her face. She made you feel like she was happy to see you.

And here's that other girl again the next day telling me to get out of there with a look. I don't have to be where I'm not wanted, and I certainly don't have to spend my money there. Maybe she was still uncomfortable prancing around in her draws, I don't know.

The fangs here are awesome, they really make the costume, and you can tell from the way that the corners of her mouth and the corners of her eyes curl upwards (micro expressions) that she's not faking the smile at all.

Now check out the sneer on her mug. The look of disdain is downright sickening, I can feel my stomach turning just thinking about it. Do you see a major difference here? I don't know what she was selling or for who, but I never attempted, nor would I even try, to find out. If I did know I'd tell you all to get as far away from them as possible. I wrote two articles this week, "Doing it right" and "Personality..." about people that made me WANT to know what they were about by drawing me in in different ways, and here all I can talk about is how turned off I am by these people.

Maybe the people she was working for are horrible, making them do things that make them completely uncomfortable in a large crowd. And maybe its just the girls, maybe they don't really want to be there and think they're above some of the people in that crowd, above taking pictures for people yearning to be part of a new club. Either way, its a disaster, as you can see clearly.

Do you remember this guy? Brian C. O'Halloran, played Dante Hicks in Clerks and a whole lot of nothing afterwards? He was charging $25 a pop for his autograph when he should have been happy people even remember him. Clerks was one of my favorite movies in college, even for $10 I would have done it and come away thinking how great an experience it was. Instead I don't even want to hear his name now. Meanwhile, for $10 I got my picture sitting inside the actually Delorean used in "Back to the Future" AND the Batmobile's from the 1989 Batman movie and the 1960's TV series. 

At least Dante is a pseudo-celebrity though. One guy gave me his sales pitch about his Comic line that no one ever heard of that he was trying to promote. He had a good line going, I was about to buy when I gave him my card for this blog. "I don't want you to waste your card" he told me. Thanks. Thanks for nothing. I don't want to waste my money either. So I walked away.

Pseudo-Celebrities, like pseudo intellectuals, really crack me up with what they think they're worth and why. Up top is a picture of smoking hot Jessica Buriaga, a Playboy Playmate of the month like 2 years ago. She's famous for nothing more than taking her clothes off.

And this stunner is Kayla Collins, another Playmate from like 2008 when she was 18 or so. Both of these lovely ladies were at Comicon this past weekend...

Did I say lovely? Not at all. Do you see the looks on their faces? The one on the left is Jessica Buriaga and the one on the right is some other random chick who took it all off for the cameras. I didn't even bother trying to get one of Kayla Collins, and for good reason. They were charging people $15 just to take a picture of them WITH YOUR OWN CAMERA! Seriously, for them to stand up and pose for you they were charging $15. Where do people get off? The only people who even know who these girls are are the ones who beat the meat to their pictures. And am I really getting a better shot than the mostly nude airbrushed to hell versions up top? Hell no.

Because of this I wouldn't pay any mind to anything these women are promoting ever again. Meanwhile, all it would have taken was a nice smile and a pretty pose (all they know how to do) and I'd have been hooked for life.

By contrast, that's Zulay Henao who starred opposite Channing Tatum in the movie Fighting. At 32 years old she's still every bit as hot as either of the girls from Playboy (hell, she probably has a much better body) and she's actually got some kind of talent other than the promise of what she does on her back. Zulay was promoting her movie Boy Wonder, and because of this picture alone I looked it up and may even wind up checking it out.

At one point she walked through the hall with her body guard and we locked eyes from only about three feet away. There was no uncomfortable feeling, no air of superiority, no I'm hot and in movies so give me money just because I showed up, none of that. She might actually think that, but I would never know it because she made me feel welcome, like a person. And now I think she's great!

I'm not sure if this piece flows as smoothly as many of my others, or that it gets my point across the way that I want to, but sometimes we do so much reaching up for that higher level on the ladder that we step on the people on the rungs below, and it causes the exact opposite effect that we're going for. We want to get noticed, but its imperative to be noticed for the RIGHT reasons or you may lose them forever. Which means don't just bring in models, bring in the RIGHT models that fit what you're doing. Don't just bring in celebrities, but the RIGHT celebrities that live the message you're trying to send. Don't just have people working for you, but who really love what you're about and WANT to make it better.

And if you're lucky enough to get that elevated status, remember the people that got you there. It wasn't the ones up on the top of the mountain already, its the average everyday people that get behind you, pushing you up there. I've had friends who's careers blew up only to change to that Playboy Playmate "I don't have time for you" mentality. At one time I would have done anything for them, and now I can't be bothered. Its all in how you do things....

Later People!



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Harry Potter Review!

A really cool thing's been happening lately.... I've been getting reports back from a lot of you about how much you liked the people that I've highlighted here in this space, which means I'm helping spread their audience. If I accomplished nothing else here than that it's all I could ever ask for.... so keep on checking out the new stuff.....
AND NOW....

HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS PART II....

If you're looking for me to get vicious today you're going to be disappointed, I have no biting criticisms for this one. It was a solid movie and I thoroughly enjoyed my entire experience that night. Now, I don't get too into telling you everything that happened in a flik like most reviews, what the hell is the point in that? Giving a summary defeats the purpose of seeing for yourself. It starts up right where Part I lets off and picks up the action right away, which was great. I liked the way that they went about tying all the loose ends together and explaining what the hell was going on the entire time; nicely done. I didn't read any of the books, so I can't comment if it was done as well as it was supposed to, but for film series purposes it worked. On the downside it was pretty anti-climatic, especially considering it's the 8th installment of a series (that much build-up deserves more fireworks), and felt a little long, probably due to the lack of dramatic tension. They killed off a lot of big characters, but they needed to show more of the individual battles that caused their deaths. A lot it was "Oh, yeah, by the way... this one's dead". Still, the things that we done well, were done, er... well.

Got this photo here

Best scene of this flik by far was a tasty Emma Watson cleavage shot. (AAANNNDD.... he's back ladies and gentlemen!) She's going to have to get used to that if she wants to have a career beyond this. Jessica Biel made a great transition after 7th Heaven by tastefully showing off her wares (which I'd normally post a link to), so she won't have to become HerHiney Grinder or anything that crazy, but Playboy maybe? HUGE HIT THERE!

What I think a lot of people miss about the Harry Potter series, whether you think it's for kids or just plain gay, is just how incredible a feat it was that they were able to pull off here, especially in a Hollywood climate that sucks more than George Michael in a bathroom stall. While none of the films will make your eyes roll to the back of your head like my favorite porn star Monique Alexander will, they were able to pull off 8 every solid films over a 10 year span that never changed the tone of the original book series enough to have he die-hards really hootin and hollering while still managing to keep the interests of everyone else. From the very start the cast has been full of actors with real chops, great performers every one, not the sort of run of the mill slob that's here today gone tomorrow like most of these clowns today. And as for continuity, one of things that really makes me want to piss in someone's eye on most occasions, they kept the same kids in the same roles throughout the entire run as allowed us watch these characters grow from children to adults. Something even Back to the Future couldn't even pull off between one and two (Claudia Wells played McFly's girlfriend only to be switched to Elisabeth Shue, don't fuck with the babysitter!).

Anyway you look at it, whether you liked anything about the series at all, you have to appreciate when something is well done, especially in a world where so little is these days.

Monique Alexander



SO... I didn't go nuts today, off on my usually looney tirade, and I'm reserving a change up for tomorrow. But I DID happen to catch the best article I've seen in a long time about why movies are such shit lately, Everything That's Wrong with Hollywood by Kyle Smith, which you can catch right here. Remember, if you're going to read reviews it has to be written by someone you somewhat agree with. Kyle Smith here is usually pretty good and he pretty much hits every point he makes here on the head. Lou Lumenick of the same paper is a total douche, and I'm not the only asshole who thinks so as evidenced right here, Why Lumenick Sucks Ass!. You're not going to take advice on much from someone you think is a jackass, not unless you're a retard too. The jury's still out on that indictment.

For now that's it. Let's see what I can come up with tomorrow. In parting just ask yourself one question....
WHY AM I A ASSHOLE?!

Later ass!