Showing posts with label happiness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label happiness. Show all posts

Friday, September 9, 2011

A deeply personal note from me to you... because you're incredible...

A lot of people had gotten to me yesterday about how much they could relate with what I was talking about. I had known that what I said was good and right because it came from that place where I was being as honest as a person can possibly be.

For a long time I had worried about what others thought about my work and what I was doing in pretty much all of my work and all of what I was doing. The end result became a sort of half truth that only proved to suppress me in the same way that all of my dead end jobs I never wanted to be at in the first place did. It was evident in my writing; even when it was good something was missing, and it failed to make that same sort of connection as yesterday's piece.


I have spent a long time now studying people, and there are two truths that have been since the first human breath was taken, and will always be true until the very last. Both involve our longing. The first is our longing to freely express our soul, as we do as children, to pour all of the joys of our heart into the world around us through our work, our play.

You show me a person who's forced to do things that they don't want to do too often and I'll show you a miserable bastard. Show me a person that doesn't have opportunities, for whatever the reasons, fear, oppression, to show off who it is that they really are through the things that they do and I'll show you desperation.


The other thing that we all long for is that sense of connection with our fellow man. We need to know that people get us, understand how we feel; we need to understand them. We need to know that we matter. We all, every one of us, need to feel loved, that we're not alone in the world, that we make a difference in people's lives, that we make those lives better.


You show me someone who feels alone in the world and I'll show you a person on the edge. You show me a person who feels like they don't matter and I'll show you a person who's lost everything, who's lost hope.


I've been driven to do most of everything that I've done so far in life by all of the worst in people. I was ruthlessly abused by my peers for all of the things that I didn't have, growing up as poor as can be. In many ways that still happens every day. No matter what I've ever done, it was never good enough for any of the people I surrounded myself with, I was never good enough, and that tainted the lens through which I see the world and left me jaded. In many ways I'm still not good enough. I became terrified to express who I am; I developed major depressive disorder, which I still deal with daily.


Many people have told me, and will tell me, that if I want to make a career of being a Life Coach then I can't show that side of myself. I can't be weak. I always have to put my best foot forward. I think that's a total crock of shit.


If you read my blog daily I take you along with me on my ups and downs. Some days I'm happy; some days I'm sad. Some days I'm strong, full of fire, and some I'm crushed by the days events. That's because I'm human, a man, real. It's precisely because of my pain that I can empathize with others' pain. It's because I've felt what they feel that I can see hurt in their eyes and my soul cries out to help them never to feel that again. It's because I don't want to hurt that I don't want you to hurt. It's because I, for so long, have been unable to express myself that I want you to be able to do so, to pour everything into realizing your dreams.

And that's precisely why I know how good I can be at this.


We all see the world in a certain way based on where we've been, what we've seen, who we're with and what has happened to us from our first thought to this moment right now. It's something I bring up often, and for good reason. Who we are and what we do rolls right off of that, is a direct result of it.

Our only real success in life comes from how well and how often we're able to fulfill those two longings, to find that self expression, in making that real human connection. That's where true happiness lies. And you can never find happiness without it. I've never been very good at either, and it's impossible not to see the marked difference in me when I am able to pull it off. But in my struggle to do so I've come to a great understanding of myself. 


I've never been the guy people seek out for a good time, never the one they think about when things are good. But, like a priest, they come to me when in need and disappear once fulfilled. The things that I do for that great release, writing, my pictures, Personal Performance Consulting (I like that one), are not and can not be the sort of thing I throw out in your face and convince you to want, or need, or get into. As such, I can not myself be something that I can convince people to want, or need, or be into. Rather, they have to be there when you need them, to connect, to see beauty, to make you feel better about who you are. I have to be there for you when you need.


This blog started as one thing, and became something very different. It's become my way of showing you all how I see the world. It's become my way of showing you who I am. And when you enjoy it, when you can relate, when you agree with or know what it is that I'm saying, when you feel the same, then in those brief moments you are connecting with my heart; you're one with my soul. In those moments you are me, and I am you. In those moments... I'm not alone. In those moments I'm free, and I matter.

For all of those reasons I thank you with every fiber of my being.
And I love you.

Sincerely,
John LaSota

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Bubbles on the Lake

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Awesome weekend. Saturday & Sunday, I basically just stayed home and watched football and cleaned all day. College football’s back y’all. Capping off with a great game last night between Boise State & Virginia Tech. Sunday night, Bubbles and her baby Brutis (and her car Sylvie) came to visit. It was their first time to Tahoe… and let’s just say that they greatly enjoyed it & are already planning to come back soon. We spent Sunday night in South Lake Tahoe but only went to the casinos for about an hour because of sheer exhaustion from the boring ass drive that is from SLC to Tahoe. Monday though, I took her around the lake showing off some of my favorite spots like Emerald Bay, we had a nice lunch at Jason’s Seaside Grill in Kings Beach, walked along the Truckee River (Brutis loved the water, which apparently is unusual for him) and just kicked back and enjoyed the splendor of the Sierras. Here are some pictures…
So many trees... so little time...
I think Brutis like the water
Miss you already, Bubbles

During her drive back to San Francisco, I offered some conversation as she was stuck in traffic (end of Labor Day Weekend) but she finally made it home safely after about 5 hours. I also suffered what apparently was my first migraine. “GASP!!!” Yup, I don’t get headaches. I’m usually too chillaxed for all that mess. So last night, I was exhausted from a busy visit (never sleep much for some reason hanging around Bubbles), was a little stressed about her drive home in traffic, and was watching the football game… when I started getting a little headache. I did my usual routine, “I’m just dehydrated. I’ll get some Gatorade.” It progressed… and now my stomach was upset. “What the hell?” I started going through my diet for the day – waffles, wine, burger, more wine, sandwich, nothing too bad. The game was finally over… so I got up to go to bed at 8:30 PM… and that’s when I had to make a v-line for the bathroom. I’ll spare you the details… but the devil was expunged from my system. So I drank some water (thinking it was still dehydration or something) and tried to go to bed, to really no avail, and then around 10 PM, take two. Slept soundly the rest of the night, awoke refreshed like nothing happened. My mom tells me this is a migraine. So I guess it’s either that… or Bubbles is some kind of succubus and stole all my life force with the slightest touch… but it’s probably the migraine. Anyway, thanks for the wonderful day… and I hope that you & Brutis can visit again soon. Worst-case, I’ll probably come visit in a few weeks for Folsom Fair… and a few weeks later for the Eagles destroying of the 49ers. Here’s the news…

Stressful US Cities – Another thought of the headache, was maybe it was stress induced… but that didn’t make sense. I had just spent a wonderful day with my BFF, I hadn’t been to work in three days (which isn’t even that stressful, just busy), I’m going to visit my family in less than two days, and I live in quite possibly the most stress-free city in the world during the most stress-free time of year. Then I stumbled upon this study that said that Detroit, Los Angeles and Cleveland are the most stressful cities in America. Of course Detroit was at the top of the list, LA has traffic & Cleveland lost LeBron… but they go on to explain. "Detroit has a lot of things going against it. It topped nearly all our standards for our stress test, although it was rarely number one," said Portfolio.com editor J. James Moss. "Across the board, it was bad." Riverside, California and St. Louis, Missouri rounded out the top five stressful cities. Portfolio.com, a national business and news website for small business executives, looked at unemployment rates, personal finance data, environmental, health and living standards and crime rates to compile the ranking of 50 cities. "Detroit has been plagued with high unemployment, a really distressed housing market and is burdened with high crime. It doesn't really seem like it has much hope," Moss explained in the most killbuzz way possible. He added that the list was done using statistical data analysis, rather than interviews with local residents about their levels of stress (for fear of getting stabbed, I’m sure). "We didn't interview residents ... People will have always have some civic pride that could counter statistical figures," he said. New York City captured the No. 6 spot, followed by New Orleans (8 weeks to go), Chicago, Birmingham and Miami-Fort Lauderdale. So what was the LEAST stressful city on the study? Well, at the other end of the scale… Salt Lake City was ranked as the least stressful city, thanks to its low crime rates, high health standing and employment, and its easy commutes. Virginia Beach in Virginia, and Minneapolis-St.Paul also scored high for their low-stress living. Moss said he hoped the list would be useful to both employers, employees, and those without jobs. "I believe that there are a couple of different people who could look at this. For a small business person or entrepreneur, for example, or for most people that want to start a business, the common belief is that less stress leads to happier employers and happier customers, and hopefully a bigger payout. Employees looking for a job would also go to a place where they will be less stressed," he said. Other less stressful cities included Raleigh in North Carolina, Austin in Texas, Denver, San Antonio and Kansas City. Moss noted that stress levels seem to be increasing across America's major cities for a variety of factors, most notably the economy. "Unemployment and the general state of the economy are certainly adding to stress, especially in larger metropolitan areas in which most workers live," he said. Surprise, surprise! Having a job while living in the city tends to reduce your stress. Who’d a thunk it? However, does this mean that money equals happiness? Ah, the age old question… and this other study…

Money & Happiness - People say that money can't buy happiness. Well, those people are wrong. At least up to a point. People's emotional well-being — happiness — increases along with their income up to about $75,000, researchers report in Tuesday's edition of Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. For folks making less than that, said Angus Deaton, an economist at the Center for Health and Wellbeing at Princeton University, "Stuff is so in your face it's hard to be happy. It interferes with your enjoyment." By the way, I’d like to point out… that this expert just the phrase “Stuff is so in your face” and I’m picturing him saying it like a valley girl… because there’s really no other way to say that phrase. Anyway, Deaton and Daniel Kahneman reviewed surveys of 450,000 Americans conducted in 2008 and 2009 for the Gallup-Healthways Well-Being Index that included questions on people's day-to-day happiness and their overall life satisfaction. Happiness got better as income rose but the effect leveled out at $75,000, Deaton said. On the other hand, their overall sense of success or well-being continued to rise as their earnings grew beyond that point. "Giving people more income beyond 75K is not going to do much for their daily mood ... but it is going to make them feel they have a better life," Deaton said in an interview. Not surprisingly, someone who moves from a $100,000-a-year job to one paying $200,000 realizes an improved sense of success. That doesn't necessarily mean they are happier day to day, Deaton said. The results were similar for other measures, Deaton said. For example, people were really happier on weekends, but their deeper sense of well-being didn't change. Kahneman, a Nobel Prize winning psychologist, and Deaton undertook the study to learn more about economic growth and policy. Some have questioned the value of growth to individuals, and Deaton said they were far from definitively resolving that question. But he added, "Working on this paper has brought me a lot of emotional well-being. As an economist I tend to think money is good for you, and am pleased to find some evidence for that." Overall, the researchers said, "as in other studies of well-being, we found that most people were quite happy and satisfied with their lives." Comparing their life-satisfaction results with those of other countries, the researchers said the United States ranked ninth after the Scandinavian countries, Canada, the Netherlands, Switzerland and New Zealand (aka The Usual Suspects). The research was supported by the Gallup Organization and the National Institute on Aging. So there you go, $75,000 is the salary to shoot for. F**k, that’d be sweet, right? Double what I make… which would make sense since I’m doing four jobs worth of work… but hey, then what would I complain about? Luckily, I’m still pretty damn happy most of the time… as you may realize from reading this blog. Do I wonder what would happen if I pursued another career? Sometimes… but then, is there really a career out there that’s more fitting for me? Paranormal investigator? Stereotype scientist? Non-profit gigolo? “That dude” on the Travel Channel? Hmm… maybe my calling’s still out there…

Zombiologist – Sounds crazy, right? Well, the University of Baltimore is offering a new class on the undead. The course is being taught by Arnold Blumberg, the author of a book on zombie movies, "Zombiemania," and the curator of Geppi's Entertainment Museum, which focuses on American pop culture. Students taking English 333 will watch 16 classic zombie films and read zombie comics. As an alternative to a final research paper they may write scripts or draw storyboards for their ideal zombie flicks. Yes, this is a REAL class. Google that sh*t. The only catch… is you have to move to Baltimore. The university isn't the first to have a class on the undead. Columbia College in Chicago has offered a course on Zombies in popular media for years, and at Simpson College in Iowa, students spent the spring semester writing a book on "The History of the Great Zombie War." Now this is my kind of college class. The only thing is… I’m pretty sure that I’ve seen about a dozen of the 16 flicks already (and own a few) so… do I have to show up to class? Or can I just copy & paste from my blog? I’ve already expressed to you why I don’t have a Zombie Movie List… and it’s primarily because there are various genres. Think about it. By the way, anybody else excited that Ali Larter’s joining the series… in 3D this week??? Yeah, I’m surprisingly not either… but I’ll probably still check it out eventually. You know what? Here it goes…

Zombie Movies

Medal Winners

Gold – Resident Evil Series (2002-2010) – Okay, I’ll be the first to admit that this wasn’t the greatest zombie series ever… because you really can’t tell me that there are GREAT zombie flicks out there… because the basis in reality is always a bit of a stretch, so don’t even try with me. Why then does this series that goes from cheesy video game adaptation… to full blown action flick… to “Wait, she has the Force now?” and is now coming to you in 3D with even more eye candy (Ali Larter) get the Gold Medal from $teve? Because his baby mama, Milla Jovovich is the star. End of debate. Now you see why I went the longest time without making one of these lists… but now I’m going to share a bunch of others with you. Oh yeah… for those who don’t know, these were based on a video game (which was actually kind of creepy) and have become increasingly ridiculous as the series continues… but hey, it’s Milla with machetes & Mack 10’s so… enjoy.

Silver – Zombieland (2009) – Remember last year when I said this very well may be the perfect movie? I still stand by it. For those who haven’t seen it, go do so tonight. It’s a hilarious zombedy (apparently that’s what they call zombie comedies now) and just read the previous entry for details if you want. I also highly recommend “Shaun of the Dead” (2004) which I’m sure if you’ve read this far, you probably own and know all the lines. Another personal favorite of mine… is “Planet Terror” (2007) from director Robert Rodriguez as part of the “Grindhouse” double feature a few years back. Now, think about this for a second, the last few movies that I’ve seen with the Wingmans in theatres… are “Grindhouse”, “Zombieland” and then this weekend is Robert Rodriguez’s latest “Machete.” Coincidence? Yeah, pretty much. Great flicks all.

Bronze – Dawn of the Dead (1978) – What would I be if I didn’t give ode to the “real” zombie movies? You know, the scary bloody horror flicks instead of the campy hilarious ones. With that in mind, I have to pay homage to the George Romero classic that has been remade a few times in various names… because it’s basically the one that REALLY made them scary ferocious creatures. Over the last few years, movies like “28 Days Later” (2002) and “The Crazies” (2010) have explained the zombie behavior and ability to seemingly be walking brain-hungry corpses by some disease (or mind controlling parasite?) but I kinda prefer the days without explanations. Don’t ask why the thing is trying to eat your brains, just f**king run away before it does!!! “But if I don’t know why it’s after my brains, how do I kill it?” B**ch, it’s already dead!!! RUN!!! Or hit it with a machete!!! Or blast it’s head off with a shotgun, that usually seems to work!!!

Suggestion – Night of the Living Dead (1968) – I highly suggest the original. Made on a low budget and started the entire genre. Yes, I have this movie as well… but not because of its iconic status… but because it has one of the greatest twist endings in movie history… and originates one of the greatest movie stereotypes in history. That’s all I will say. You need to watch it, at least once. Now, some of you may be saying “What about ‘The Last Man on Earth’ (1964) with Vincent Price? Wasn’t that the original?” Nope… because apparently he was the last man on earth trying to keep vampires from eating him, not zombies. I know, I know. It’s kind of a technicality… especially since they were basically just zombies that were afraid of sunlight or whatever… but still a great flick… and again, a great twist ending. I have this one as well if you’d like to watch it with me. Another one that I remember from my childhood is “Night of the Creeps” (1986) which I’m sure you’d remember if you’ve seen it. It’s the one were the fast-moving slugs crawl into people’s mouths, taking over their minds, reproduce in their heads… and then they EXPLODE to seek out other brains to devour and reproduce (aka Mind-f**k) within. When you’re five years old, that stuff tends to stick with you. Forget that earwig story, I just want to keep brain slugs out of my mouth.

Flush It – I Am Legend (2007) – Not a bad flick. It’s actually pretty damn good. So why does this remake of “The Last Man on Earth” get the Flush It instead of “The Omega Man” (1971) with Charlton Heston starring in a fantastically blaxploitation version where the opening scene of him rattling off a machine gun from the driver’s seat of a Cadillac say it all? Because of the scene where he had to kill the dog. Oh yeah, you all know what the f**k I’m talking about too if you’ve seen this movie. Easily the only time that a zombie flick made me leak out of my face. The worst part was that I had a German Shepherd growing up named Sam… which looked EXACTLY like the dog in the movie. I took it as a personal attack on my childhood memories in what was already an incredibly heart-wrenching scene. Still though, great flick. I’m just not watching it again any time soon. Damn Fresh Prince… but this will probably be replaced in about a year by that Diablo Cody written “Zombedy” I talked about last week. It definitely has potential.

Future Watch – World War Z (2011?) – Since “Zombieland 2” is still in rumor stages, I definitely have to go with this adaptation of the Max Brooks’ book that has been rumored to star Mr. Angelina himself, Brad Pitt… but that’s all speculation right now too. That’s the thing about zombie flicks, because they can be made so quickly, by the time you hear about people being signed to star in them, you’re already seeing the previews on Adult Swim or something. Anyway, I just don’t want to see the genre get too ridiculous… but hey, what’re ya gonna do, right?

So yeah, fantastic weekend… and another one ready to go in T-minus 36 hours. Now’s the time to schedule an appointment with me if you want to hang out at the 1st Annual SLC Beer Festival, followed by sushi & “Machete” or if you want a little alone time with Dr Love himself. I’m only in town for a few days… and my dance card’s filling up fast. You know the digits. Holla at yo boy!!! Have a great night everybody!!!

Monday, July 12, 2010

I Spit Hot Fire

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

It’s been…a bit of a hectic week at work. Don’t worry, not going into details. Business, busyness and miscommunications. All will get resolved and I’m sure there’ll be much more in the near future…but that’s the way it is. Life’s 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react. How did I react? Well, Thursday night I went to Truckee Thursdays and had a swingin’ time with some coworkers and the fellow townspeople, went bar hopping a bit, walked home. Friday was work…and then I didn’t really do much. I watched a movie…but I’m gonna wait to review it for another day. Leave you with a little suspense. Saturday, I think I may have eaten a tainted banana for breakfast (not joking) because I ate one…and then about a half hour later, vomited…and then was perfectly fine. “Thanks for sharing, $teve.” You’re welcome. Anyway, that kinda kept me from going to Beerfest later in the day…because I knew that I was going to my coworker’s going away party…and I didn’t want to push it. Besides, trying to save a little money. So that night, I went to the Crystal Bay Casino…and basically for less than the $30 just to get into Beerfest, I was able to enjoy the Roulette wheel, a half dozen beers, the company of good people, dancing up a storm (and the ladies love it when I dance), a concert by one of the best bands I’ve heard called Albino, kind of a funky Afrobeat group…and yes, I even got one of their CDs. Oh don’t worry. Because I was there for a good six hours & cut myself off early, I was perfectly fine driving home. Good times. Here are some pictures…
Crystal Bay Casino's Red Room
Albinoooooooo...

Other than that, I’ve spent a lot of time on the phone with my family & friends because… apparently they miss me… and I miss them. My brother wants me to come visit next weekend for his birthday / bachelorhood barbecue… but I may have a date instead, so we’ll see. I also heard a lot about LeBron James, as I’m sure you all have. Okay, to sum up for those of you who don’t know (half my readers?), LeBron James is probably the world’s greatest basketball player…and he was on the cover of Sports Illustrated at 17…and he’s 25 years old now. He was also a free agent, free to sign with whoever he wants. Well, the thing is that he was born & raised in Akron, Ohio…and since he was 18 has played professionally for the Cleveland Cavaliers…so he’s basically the hometown hero that comes around once in a generation. However, he’s a free agent…and free to sign with whoever the hell he wants. He could go to Greece for a few years and that’s perfectly fine. Confusing…but fine. Well, everybody wants him. There were seriously six franchises who completely jeopardized their futures in anticipation of signing him…which meant that at least five of them were going to be sorely disappointed with the outcome no matter who he chose. The city of Cleveland was hoping he would stay the hometown hero. The Knicks & Nets of the five borough area were hoping that they could bring him to the Big Apple. The Bulls wanted him to forever be in the shadow of Michael Jordan. Even the f**king Clippers thought they had a shot for some reason. “Oh yeah, I’ll share a stadium with Kobe.” So he holds this primetime press conference to announce his decision, on ESPN, over ten million people watching. So who did he decide to sign with? The Miami Heat. Why? Because two of his friends from the past decade were going to sign there…and let’s face it, Miami vs. Cleveland? Really? Who’s not going to pick Miami? Well, he’d made about $50 million if he stayed in Cleveland…but money isn’t everything. Then it hit the fan…

People in Cleveland went nuts…and to a certain extent, understandably. I’m not for the burning effigies and death threats or any of that stuff…but it definitely could’ve been handled a lot better on LeBron’s part. As soon as it was announced that there was going to be a press conference, I thought “Awesome.” Then I heard it was in Connecticut instead of the Boys & Girls Club of Akron or his old high school or the various other locations where he usually holds press conference, “Oh sh*t, he’s not staying in Cleveland. He’s at neutral ground far away from there. This could be bad.” Then the day before the announcement, there’s a press conference where his two buddies are all smiles & saying they’re going to join the Heat, and I get that Will Smith song stuck in head, “Party in the city where the Heat is on, or lie on the beach til the break of dawn” You all know it, don’t front. Now, basically I see the LeBron decision…as exactly like one of my other favorite heartbreaking celebrity tales…but with a major twist that makes him seem like more of a douche. Ladies, do you like Brad Pitt? Of course you do. Remember when he was with Jennifer Aniston? Then he started hanging out with Angelina? And then they became Brangelina? You hated him for a second…but then you understood…because it was Angelina. Same with LeBron. He dropped his homegrown all-American routine with the girl he grew up but realized it wasn’t going anywhere, like winning a championship because Cleveland may be cursed…and left it for the sexy new possibilities of a seemingly greener pasture & warmer climate with his buddies. Have you never made a decision like that? Really? The thing he f**ked up on…was the press conference. Basically, it was the equivalent of Brad calling a huge conference to announce that he’s going to marry the woman that he loves…and instead of it being the woman he’s been with for years, it’s the one that he met last week…in front of an audience of MILLIONS!!! Like I said, burning effigies and death threats are a little extreme…because you can understand the decision when you break it down…but it was just done in a horrible way. Anyway, I hope he’s happy in Miami playing with his buddies…and I hope that Cleveland exacts revenge by bouncing them in the playoffs on the way to a championship or something…but hey, we’ll see how it goes. I just have no idea what the Nets are going to do now. They banked EVERYTHING on James coming there. However, the funniest thing of this whole free agency debacle in my opinion…is there was a big deal about a lot of big names moving for the money…and the guy who got the biggest contract was Joe Johnson, who’s basically an average player that looks amazing on a horrible team. It’s not all about money. Anyway, here’s some other news…probably more interesting to you.

Vegas Update – One of the cool things about where I live…is that I’m in California…but if I want to see what the Old West was like (but with cell phones & clean water) I can hop over to Nevada, where the state flower…is sagebrush (no joke, just funny). A place where you can find company for the evening at affordable rates (pending you have insurance that covers the follow-up) and everything can be settled on a gentleman’s bet, apparently even politics. Here’s an update for a story a while back. Last Thursday, the 10 of clubs just wasn't quite good enough. That's what Carl Moore Sr. drew in the tiebreaker between two rural Nevada county commission candidates who sought the Republican nomination in the June 8 primary. Nye County Commissioner Andrew "Butch" Borasky, who survived a recall last year and is seeking a second term, drew a queen of clubs to advance to the November general election. The drawing took place in a courtroom in Pahrump, 60 miles west of Las Vegas. Both tied with 381 votes in the primary. They remained tied after two recounts. State law calls for candidates to draw lots to get a winner when an election is deadlocked (I was kind of hoping for a quick draw duel at twenty paces myself). It can be cutting cards, throwing dice, drawing straws or flipping a coin. Before the big moment, Borasky and Moore agreed on procedure, down to the color of the deck that Clerk Sandra Merlino used (red, for blood). Merlino then shuffled the cards seven times and fanned their Fate out on a table. "We decided on high card," Borasky told The Associated Press in a telephone interview afterward. "There was no disagreement between us. We shook hands before and after." No takesy-backsies. Moore, co-owner of a family-owned hardware store, did not immediately return a phone message seeking comment. Borasky will face Libertarian candidate Sandra Darby in November. It's not the first time a Nevada election has been determined by chance. In the past decade, county commission races in White Pine and Esmeralda counties were each decided by a cut of the deck. Two card draws were needed to decide the winner of a seat on a rural television district board last year. After a tie in 2008, one candidate lost an initial draw before Washoe County election officials discovered some votes weren't counted. They tied again in ballots, and the eventual winner was declared after he drew an ace of clubs to beat a 10 of spades in January 2009. Funny, right? I’m still a fan of the duel thing, even if it’s just paintball guns. Or heck, arm wrestling, tug-o-war, beer pong, wet t-shirt contest, some kind of actual competition. Flipping a coin? Is that how it should be done? Bush & Gore in 2000? How would that have been? (Slips into dream world of Al Gore busting a cap Aaron Burr style and saying, “Yippee ki-yay, mother f**ker. I’m President now!”) Anyway, just interesting…and not the only Vegas Update today…

Vegas Update: Part Deux – You love the Hostel movies, right? Have they convinced you to never ever visit Slovakia? Or trust any European girl that’s too damn hot to be associated with your silly ass? Does it chill you to the core that there might be some underground organization that really might be out there, getting tourists drunk, abducting them, and then charging a pretty penny for eccentric adventurers to fulfill their sick sadistic fantasies on your body? You too? Well, Vegas is REALLY going to hate this news because it may f**k up their tourism industry even more. Bloody Disgusting reports that a third film in the "Hostel" series is in the works. Michael Weiss penned the script… which is set in beautiful Las Vegas, where a bachelor party goes horribly wrong (as they often do). The setting and tone sounds notably different from the first two which used European locales as a big element of their production. At present the title will go direct-to-DVD and writer/director of the first two flicks, Eli Roth, will only be involved as producer. Scott Spiegel (“From Dusk Til Dawn 2: Texas Blood Money” which was also straight-to-DVD a decade ago and yes, I bought it for $2) is taking over the director's chair. There is "some speculation" it may go theatrical. Will this movie cause me to never venture to Vegas ever again (much like Slovakia or anywhere east of Prague)? I doubt it…but hey, we’ll wait until the movie comes out to find out for sure.

Lincoln Update – Speaking of the Stepmotherland, Timur Bekmambetov ("Wanted" & “Nightwatch”) is in talks to direct an English-language remake of last year's Russian superhero feature "Black Lightning" for Universal Pictures reports Variety. Bekmambetov produced the Russian original which followed a Moscow University student who discovers a flying car and becomes a superhero in order to take on the Russian underworld. A sequel to the original is also in the works. Sounds pretty sweet, right? Maybe. “But $teve, what the hell does this have to do with Abraham Lincoln? You called this a Lincoln update and you’re talking about flying Ruskies.” Patience young one. The reason this is a Lincoln Update…is because it was through this article that I found that Bekmambetov remains attached to do another flick before this. The title is "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter" though no word as yet on when it will begin production. Oh yes. I am not joking. I’m sure there’s some legal thing because that was going to be the twist in Spielberg’s “Lincoln” movie that he’s been dragging his feet on, where Liam Neeson was president by day, vampire hunter by night…and then he finds out that Andrew Johnson (Harrison Ford) is really Dracula!!! Oh yeah, spoiler alert? Sorry, that probably should’ve gone before I gave away the plot, right? My apologies. So that’s why it’s a Lincoln update.

Flying Car Update – In addition to a Russian superhero movie with a flying car, there’s also a great update in the realm of a world where we don’t need roads. A highway-worthy airplane moves one step closer to production with a recent weight exemption approved by the Federal Aviation Administration. The Transition Roadable Aircraft, developed by Massachusetts-based engineering firm Terrafugia, will be allowed a maximum takeoff weight of 1,430 pounds, the same allowance made for aircraft designed to operate on water. Other planes in the class, called Light Sport Aircraft, are limited to a maximum takeoff weight of 1,320 pounds. "The main reason for that additional weight is the additional safety features that the Transition has -- because it's designed to be operated on the road -- that aren't found in other light aircraft," said Anna Dietrich, Terrafugia's chief operating officer. A protective safety cage, airbags and an energy absorbing crumple zone are among the extra features. Light sport aircraft are limited to carrying two people -- a pilot and a passenger. The pilot must have a Sport Pilot certificate (which only requires 20 hours of flight training). "It's a certification more appropriate to the size and complexity of these simple aircraft," Dietrich said. "There's actually programs that you can do in about two weeks. You can take a couple weeks off of work and come home a pilot, so it's a very accessible, very exciting way of getting into aviation and giving yourself that additional freedom and flexibility," Dietrich said. Going from plane to car "takes about the same amount of time as putting down your convertible top," and the transition takes place from inside the cockpit. After landing, a cockpit-operated system folds up the wings, and the pilot can drive away. Transition is designed for trips of up to about 450 miles and can travel about 100 miles per hour in the air and "highway speeds" on the ground of "65, 70, [miles per hour] -- something like that. We're really not pushing the performance as an automobile because it is really designed to be used as an airplane that has this additional capability. Functionally, it's a lot closer to an airplane than it would be to your car." The price is more in line with aircraft as well; Terrafugia anticipates the Transition will cost $194,000 (yeesh, and it won’t even go as fast as Gretchen on the freeway?). The first delivery will occur in about 18 months, Dietrich said. The Transition still has to receive FAA certification and National Highway Traffic Safety Administration testing before it goes into production. The Transition completed more than 20 test flights last year. Is that f**king awesome or what? Basically with a quarter million dollars (perhaps with a flux capacitor option) and two weeks time, you can be a certified pilot of a flying Peugeot. I could hop onto Highway 267 a block from my apartment, take off, say “f**k your toll, Bay Bridge” and land on the Embarcadero two hours later. All the while enjoying the majesty of the Sierra Nevadas from about the same altitude as a hot air balloon…and perhaps a lucky passenger enjoying the trip with me. I like it. I’ll keep you posted on my progress. “Traffic jam on the freeway? F**k that. Zoom zoom zoom…and away we goooooo…”

Ugliest Car in Production, No Longer – Think of the most ridiculous & hideous cars in history. Got a good clear picture of it. Do you even have the color picked out? Probably some ugly monochromatic orange hue known as Rust? You’re thinking of a PT Cruiser, aren’t you? How did I know that? Magic!!! By the way, is THIS your card? Well, on July 9th, the last of Chrysler’s retro-styled PT Cruisers has rolled off of the assembly line. As the 2010 model year winds down at Chrysler’s Toluca, Mexico plant, so too will the final Cruisers. (Champagne corks pop across the world) When it first debuted a decade ago, the PT Cruiser was a sensation (to idiots…much like “Twilight”). Customers flocked to Chrysler showrooms and paid over the sticker price to be able to get behind the wheel. Unfortunately, over the years the Cruiser’s styling did not age well (it was always ugly), and it lost its edge while Chrysler essentially ignored the model. The Chrysler PT Cruiser was already slated to for discontinuation when the automaker entered bankruptcy. In desperate need of products to sell, the automaker kept the PT Cruiser around for just a little while longer. Now as the car’s production comes to an end, the Toluca factory will be retooled in preparation for the Fiat 500. This fresh new minicar will arrive in Chrysler showrooms later this year. Sigh… so yeah, just wanted to let you all know. And if you willingly drive a PT Cruiser and love it, I apologize… and I’m sorry. I just think they’re the most atrocious vehicles ever mass produced…and every time that I see one on the street, I get physically ill.

Mind Taking Update – You may still be asking yourself, “How did he know that I was thinking about a PT Cruiser?” Well, it wasn’t just because of the picture in your peripheral line of sight as you read…but maybe it was magic as well. Or perhaps science? Researchers have found that brain scans may be able to predict what you will do better than you can yourself, and might offer a powerful tool for advertisers or health officials seeking to motivate consumers. They found a way to interpret "real time" brain images to show whether people who viewed messages about using sunscreen would actually use sunscreen during the following week. The scans were more accurate than the volunteers were, Emily Falk and colleagues at UCLA reported in the Journal of Neuroscience. "We are trying to figure out whether there is hidden wisdom that the brain contains," Falk said in a telephone interview. "Many people 'decide' to do things, but then don't do them," Matthew Lieberman, a professor of psychology who led the study, added in a statement. But with functional magnetic resonance imaging or fMRI, Falk and colleagues were able to go beyond good intentions to predict actual behavior. FMRI uses a magnetic field to measure blood flow in the brain. It can show which brain regions are more active compared to others, but requires careful interpretation. Falk's team recruited 20 young men and women for their experiment. While in the fMRI scanner they read and listened to messages about the safe use of sunscreen, mixed in with other messages so they would not guess what the experiment was about. "On day one of the experiment, before the scanning session, each participant indicated their sunscreen use over the prior week, their intentions to use sunscreen in the next week and their attitudes towards sunscreen," the researchers wrote. After they saw the messages, the volunteers answered more questions about their intentions, and then got a goody bag that contained, among other things, sunscreen towelettes. A week later we did a surprise follow up to find out whether they had used sunscreen," Falk said in a telephone interview. About half the volunteers had correctly predicted whether they would use sunscreen. The research team analyzed and re-analyzed the MRI scans to see if they could find any brain activity that would do better. Activity in one area of the brain, a particular part of the medial prefrontal cortex, provided the best information. "From this region of the brain, we can predict for about three-quarters of the people whether they will increase their use of sunscreen beyond what they say they will do. It is the one region of the prefrontal cortex that we know is disproportionately larger in humans than in other primates. This region is associated with self-awareness, and seems to be critical for thinking about yourself and thinking about your preferences and values." Now, Falk said, the team is looking for other regions of the brain that might add to the accuracy of the technique. While the findings can be important for advertisers seeking to hone a motivational message, they can be equally important for public health experts trying to persuade people to make healthier choices, Falk said. The team is now preparing a report on experiments to predict whether people would quit smoking after seeing motivational messages. Interesting, right? As a gentleman with a marketing degree, this does interest me…but hey, even the scans are pulling 75% accuracy…and it’s hilarious to me that about half of the subjects did what they said they would do. Want me to blow your mind? My guess is that the half that didn’t do…were the women. No? Am I wrong? Did you see the results? Neither did I. That’s just my guess. Call me sexist if you must…but I just know that guys are extremely simple…and women are constantly thinking about dozens of things at a time, so something like sunscreen (or a research project concerning it from a week ago) may have slipped their mind in the presence of relaxation at the beach. Then again, I may be way off. If only there was some kind of brain scan that could tell me what I was thinking…

Test Errors - The school superintendent in Springfield, Massachusetts, has taken responsibility for tests given to the district's 11th- and 12th-graders that were rife with spelling, grammatical and factual errors. Two tests given in May to about 2,600 students contained about 100 errors combined. The mistakes included the phrases "truning around" and "For God's skae," as well as a note on one test that read "This is the end of the Test," when there were two more pages. The district contracts with an outside company to develop the exams (hmm, wonder if that should be “contracted”). Superintendent Alan Ingram said Monday it wasn't that company's fault. He said the district's own proofreaders dropped the ball. He said he would make sure the district does a better job of checking the tests in the future. The funny thing to me…is that this even made a little news blurb. Being an all-star in academia for over 20 years, I don’t think I have yet seen a test without errors like that. Heck, there were NUMEROUS occasions (the Wingman will confirm) that I was basically able to turn a test score from a C to an A because of explaining how poorly the test was prepared…and providing evidence (with a little BS) that proved there were multiple answers. For example, let’s say the question was something like “Which is the most populous nation in the world?” Always a constant struggle between China & India…and depending on the reference materials that you utilize, it could swing either way. Heck, I think even for fun I tried to convince a teacher that it was Indonesia or something, just to see if I could get away with it…and would’ve gotten away with it too if not for those meddling kids. Yeah, those quizzes where the question says something like “Find X” in a math problem, I’ll circle the X and draw an arrow to it. Now “Solve for X” or something more specific, I’m down with. I’m a smart ass…and I’m not afraid to be one. Thinking outside the box is what’s given me many opportunities in my life. So yeah, I’m more intrigued as to why in the hell there’s something like “For God’s sake” in a test than a spelling error of “skae” in that same phrase. Maybe I just need to know the context. Perhaps it’s something like “This is a standardized test that will help us to evaluate your scholastic aptitude. You will have three hours to complete this section. If you complete the test within allotted time, please notify your teacher so that you can be excused from the room. Please do not lay your head down and take a nap causing drool marks to appear on your test and for God’s skae, don’t doodle on the form. If you do, the answer form won’t be able to be processed through a computer scanning system…and then somebody with the Board of Education will have to check it manually and know that you think George Washington Carver was the 1st President of the United States. Good luck. Turn page over.”

Presidential Rankings – With just having the 4th of July earlier this week, I thought this was a little interesting. A new poll of leading presidential scholars ranks Barack Obama as the 15th best president of the United States, just below Bill Clinton but ahead of Ronald Reagan. The Siena College poll, which surveyed 238 presidential scholars at U.S. colleges and universities, asked scholars to rate the nation’s 43 chief executives on 20 attributes ranging from legislative accomplishments to integrity and imagination (really, imagination). In the overall ranking, Obama rated two places below Clinton (#13) and three better than Reagan (#18). Franklin D. Roosevelt again earned the top spot, as he has every time since the poll was first conducted in 1982. He and the Mount Rushmore presidents — Teddy Roosevelt, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, George Washington (Carver) and Thomas Jefferson — have consistently been the top five presidents in the poll’s findings. Obama’s 15th ranking is slightly higher than other presidents who have taken office since the poll started nearly 30 years ago. Most start out at about number 20, said Siena statistics professor and poll director Douglas Lonnstrom. “[Obama’s] doing a little better, but he’s generally in the same ballpark,” he said. While he ranked high on traits like imagination (6th), communication ability (7th) and intelligence (8th), Obama rated poorly ratings on background (32nd), which was composed of traits like family (is this poll racist?), education (Hawaii?) and experience (he was a senator for a few years & a president for even less). Lonnstrom said the main factor that gives a president a top-five or top-10 ranking is his accomplishments — and an all-around high ranking in most categories. FDR, for example, ranks in the top 10 for every category except integrity (vastly overrated), he said. “The experts really are looking for consistency, a president who is looking good across most of these categories,” he said. Obama’s predecessor, George W. Bush, was ranked at #23 in 2002 (the last time Siena’s presidential expert poll was conducted) but has since dropped like the Dow Jones to #39, qualifying him as one of the five worst presidents. Bush came in at #42 (2nd to last) on issues such as handling the U.S. economy, foreign policy accomplishments and intelligence. (FYI - Warren Gameliel Harding was rated the least intelligent president…because he was caught in a bunch of obvious scandals & thought the cure to the Depression was more taxes, which led to the Grapes of Wrath type depression). Bush joins Harding, Andrew Johnson, James Buchanan and Franklin Pierce, all of whom have consistently ranked as the worst presidents since the poll started, in the bottom five. Several other presidents also saw movement in their ratings this year. Bill Clinton moved up five places; John F. Kennedy also moved up, from #14 to #11. Carter, Reagan and Nixon all dropped in the rankings this year — Carter dropped seven spots, from #25 in 2002 to #32 now; Reagan dropped two spots, from #16 to #18; and Nixon fell four spots, from #26 to #30. Hmm, weird that the guys before AND after Lincoln were in the bottom five…but hey, that’s how it goes sometimes. What do you think? Can Obama break the Top 10? These are tough times…but hey, it’s not like FDR (Depression & WWII), Lincoln (Civil War & vampire uprising), Georgie & TJ (Revolutionary War & establishing EVERYTHING) had cake walks. It’s gonna be tough to get that monument in DC…but all you’ve gotta do is be better than JFK. My suggestion – Bang a couple Hollywood starlets. Hell, if you can pull Beyonce away from Jay-Z, MAD street cred, which I believe was one of the 20 attributes on this poll. I’ll have to double check the figures. Anyway, I believe. Good luck, President Obama. I really hope that you can crack the Top 10 and help the United States of America, the land that I Love.

Wealth & Happiness - The United States may be the richest nation on Earth, a new study indicates, but it's not the happiest. The new analysis of Gallup World Poll data suggests, however, that trying to compare the happiness of one nation to another is not straightforward. Rather, there are two major categories of happiness: overall life satisfaction; and more moment-to-moment enjoyment of life. And while overall satisfaction of life is strongly tied to income, meaning richer nations and individuals have more of this overall bliss, how much one enjoys life (by measures such as laughing and smiling) depends more on social and psychological needs being met. These include having social support and using one's abilities, as opposed to sitting at a mind-numbing job (you think?). The United States, which had the highest gross domestic product per capita, came in at #16 for overall well-being and #26 for enjoyment, referred to as positive feelings. The #1 spot for overall well-being went to Denmark, and New Zealand landed the #1 slot for positive feelings. "Everybody has been looking at just life satisfaction and income," said study researcher Ed Diener of the University of Illinois and the Gallup Organization. "And while it is true that getting richer will make you more satisfied with your life, it may not have the big impact we thought on enjoying life." The positive feelings aspect of happiness could have evolutionary roots. "Whereas life satisfaction reflects whether people are obtaining their values and goals in a long-term and big picture sense, positive feelings seem to arise from momentary things that are prewired, since feeling good about the support of others and about using skills are both necessary for humans to thrive and survive," Diener told LiveScience. The findings are detailed this month in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. How does one tally happiness in a study? The data was collected from a representative sample of more than 136,000 people across 132 nations from 2005 to 2006 (so smack in the middle of the Bush years). The poll used telephone surveys in more affluent areas, and door-to-door interviews in rural or less-developed regions. For global life satisfaction, respondents indicated how they would rate their lives on a scale from zero (worst possible life) to 10 (best possible life). Participants also answered questions about positive or negative emotions experienced the previous day. On average respondents were relatively happy, judging their current life as slightly above neutral and experiencing frequent positive feelings and infrequent negative ones. While the majority of participants indicated their psychological needs are met, about 25% don't have basic needs met. Overall satisfaction with life went up with both personal and national income, suggesting societal circumstances play an important role in happiness. But positive feelings, which were slightly higher in relation to higher income, were much more strongly tied to feeling respected, having autonomy and social support and working at a fulfilling job. "Some of the nation rankings are indeed surprising, at least if we assumed that money was the only type of wealth. How do some mid-level nations in terms of income, such as Costa Rica, do so well? And conversely, why do some relatively rich nations such as South Korea do less well than expected? In part, because of the quality of social relationships." Of course there were places that got either mostly stellar or mostly dismal happiness marks. No. 1 in overall satisfaction, Denmark also came in at No. 7 for positive feelings. Impoverished nations in Africa generally scored low on both happiness measures. While Northern European and Anglo societies are currently most successful in the economic area, Latin American societies proved to be relatively high in social-psychological well-being. Sierra Leone scored consistently low, but other nations showed divergent rankings across the measures. For instance, Russia and South Korea had substantially lower scores for meeting social-psychological needs and in positive feelings than for income. Some economists think money increases happiness at the low end of the pay scale as it helps people meet their basic needs, but doesn't do much once a person is lifted out of poverty. This new study suggests the link between money and happiness goes beyond basic needs. While the steepest rise in overall well-being with money occurred in the poorer individuals and nations, there was still a bump in overall happiness at the higher socioeconomic status regions. "Money is an object that many or most people desire, and pursue during the majority of their waking hours," Diener and his colleagues write. Since most people want money, they use their financial success as a measure of overall success and a reference for how "good" their lives are. The study also showed the income-happiness link was tied to a person's ownership of luxury conveniences and their satisfaction with standard of living. "We don't know why there's a strong link between income and life satisfaction, but most economists would say it's because dollars buy stuff and humans like stuff," said Andrew Oswald, a professor of behavioral science at the Warwick Business School in England, who was not involved in the current study…but then again, doesn’t really need to be a professor of anything to make a connection like that. He doesn't think "stuff" fully answers the happiness question though. In addition, and possibly a more critical link between money and life satisfaction, is security. "I think it has more to do with money providing a kind of buffer against the bad shocks and insecurities of life. If you have a low income and little money in the bank, you feel much more vulnerable to the threat of layoff or the threat of sickness in your family," Oswald said in a telephone interview. As for what happiness really means, Oswald said, "We're only beginning to scratch the surface on what happiness means and ways to measure it. It's a multifaceted concept and researchers will be working for the next 200 years trying to get to the bottom of this."

So what do you think? Obviously you know I think about this stuff all the time. Do I need more money? Is my job secure? Why am I not completely overjoyed with my current living situation (which is spectacular)? Is it because I’m lonely and have very few social relationships established here? Is my appetite for growth just so insatiable that I can’t get no satisfaction? Though I try…and I try. Do I just need to get laid? All great questions…with difficult answers. This past week’s vacation & visitors have shown me a few things. Money isn’t everything. Sure, it’s nice…but it shouldn’t be your focus. Basically, the only place to get Happiness is from within. Sure, other people may really influence you to be happy every time that they’re in your presence…but you’re the one who chooses to receive it. To nerd it up, the other person is a constant. Your reactions to that person are the variable, thus it’s not how they make you feel but how you feel about them & their actions. It’s the same when you look in the mirror… or at your living arrangement… or your job. You may knit-pick at all the insignificant flaws or how it doesn’t please you… or you can focus on the good stuff – your smile that makes everybody’s day, the fact that it’s YOUR place & you love that you can crank up the jams whenever you want, that you enjoy your career in helping others, stuff like that. See, the past little while, I kinda forgot that… or maybe just pushed it to the side. I was too busy thinking about what I didn’t have, where I wasn’t, where I might end up, who thought what of me & why, stupid stuff that I don’t really control. Then with my family around, I got to hang around them, see the city, see other cities, spend time with nephews & my niece, hang out with friends, remember why I moved out here all by myself, and it just kinda reenergize that I am the master of my own Destiny. I make my Fate. If I think I’m going to be miserable & lonely, I will be. If I go out and enjoy every moment that I can, I will. If other people can’t dig that or choose not to, their loss. I can’t wait for other people to verify how nice of a life I have, cuz it’s gooooood. I just have to enjoy it & allow others to come along for the ride. As the saying goes, every Paradise has its price…but if focus too much on the costs, you never get to enjoy the benefits. I guess what I’m saying is…be good to yourselves…and each other. Sigh… damn you Jerry Springer. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Tons of other clichés to put here…but yeah, just enjoy the ride. You can certainly try to better yourself every day, like learn a new language, go to school, work out, all that jazz…but don’t forget what makes you awesome & amazing in the first place. Blah blah blah.

Anyway, that’ll do it for today. Gonna go shoot some hoops or something at the park, maybe watch a movie later, talk to a squirrel from on my deck, the possibilities are endless. Have a great day everybody!!!

Monday, February 22, 2010

Captain EO Returns for Your Children

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

As you know, the weekend was a lot of fun…and then Sunday was basically just relaxing and watching movies and stuff. I’m about half way through Season 3 of “Dexter” and watched the remake of “The Taking of Pelham 123” with John Travolta & Denzel Washington. The story is about a NYC subway train getting hijacked and held for a $10 million ransom by Travolta and his band of merry men…and Denzel is the controller who gets the call. You’ve seen the previews, I’m sure. It was pretty good. What you would expect from a Tony Scott directed movie like “The Last Boy Scout” & “Déjà vu” but it was no “True Romance”. It was better than the original (where Walter Matthau was the star) especially from an action standpoint but…yeah, give it a glance if you like that kind of stuff. If not, you’re not missing a whole lot. Anyway, that was my boring weekend. It was two degrees when I drove to work this morning so there was a little ice from the light snow yesterday but nothing too bad. Honestly, I’ve been here the worst three months of winter thus far…and there’s really only been like four storms that have come through where I even needed to shovel and the sun the next day didn’t melt away the snow. I’m sure it isn’t typical of this area…and I know there’s still like two months left…but I’m glad that Gretchen’s been able to get me through the bad times with relative ease. Anyway, here’s the news…

It’s A Small World Record - A man who is only 22 inches tall left his home country of Nepal on Sunday in a quest to be recognized as the world's shortest man. Khagendra Thapa Magar is traveling to Europe to campaign for the Guinness World Record title. He applied to London-based group for a place in the record book in October, soon after turning 18, but said he has not received any response (does FedEx go to Nepal?). Magar's family initially filed a claim when he was 14, but it was rejected because he was not an adult and there was a chance he might grow. They say doctors in Nepal have not been able to explain why Magar is so small (my guess, drinking coffee & smoking four packs a day since he was able to grip). "We are going to Italy to try to record his name in the Guinness Book of World Records," his father, Rup Bahadur Thapa Magar, told reporters in Katmandu (yes, it’s a real city…and the capital of Nepal). They plan to appear on an Italian television show to talk about his bid for the title (hopefully with a translator). Once in Italy, Magar, his father and a supporter will decide on their next destination (after stops in Venice, Rome & Florence, might I suggest Cannes?). His supporters saw him off from the Nepalese capital on Sunday, offering flower bouquets and garlands. The current record is held by He Pingping of China, who is 29 inches tall. Wow. So not only is this probably the smallest man in the world…but by a full seven inches. Pretty impressive. Good luck with your journey, Mr. Magar.

It’s A Tall World Record - A 250-pound blue Great Dane from Arizona gives new meaning to the term "big dog." Guinness World Records says Giant George from Tucson is the tallest dog ever on record. Guinness said Monday that he stands 3 feet, 7 inches tall from paw to shoulder, which is three-quarters of an inch taller than his closest rival — Titan, a white Great Dane from San Diego. The 4-year-old Titan took the title of world's tallest dog in 2009 after Gibson, a Great Dane from Grass Valley, California, died of bone cancer. Guinness officials say there were conflicting reports about Giant George's height, so they sent a judge to verify it. The 4-year-old is owned by David Nasser. So now we at least know that there’s a dog that Mr. Magar can ride around on if he so pleased to. That’s really all I’ve got on this story other than to say “That’s a HUGE b**ch!!!”

Elvis / Vegas Update – As if any of us needed another reason to visit Vegas, here’s one more. Three decades after Elvis Presley took his last bow on the Las Vegas Strip, where he once reigned as king, the magicians of Cirque du Soleil have tried to summon back the power of this supreme entertainer in a show titled, "Viva Elvis." They have mixed a dizzying array of dance, acrobatics, live musicians, over-the-top stage sets, and glitzy costumes with gigantic videos of Elvis in his most legendary performances and memorable life events. The 45 candy-colored, whimsically designed jumpsuits worn by a dance troupe are fun to watch. And the show has 120 costume changes, including a Follies-like Las Vegas number. So yeah, if you’re into Cirque du Soleil…or Elvis, there you go. I’m still thinking that Zumanity will be my first intro to Cirque du Soleil when/if I give it a shot…but hey, Elvis or the Beatles couldn’t be too bad. It’d be like Zepparella…if they were contortionists. Hmm… I think I’ve got a few calls to make on that idea. Speaking of the dead rising from the grave…

Captain EO Returns for Your Children - "Captain EO" and Michael Jackson are returning to Disneyland. The park says it will show the 1986 Jackson musical film beginning Tuesday and running indefinitely. On the Disney Parks blog, Disney executive Heather Hust Rivera says the park will show a 70mm print of the 17-minute movie in the Tomorrowland theater, with enhanced sound. However, Rivera says the showing won't feature some special effects from the original presentation. She would not elaborate (leaving me to speculate there will be less pelvic thrusting in 3D). The original presentation included lasers and smoke. Jackson, who died last year, plays the role of a spaceship captain who uses love and music (as opposed to lasers & smoke bombs) to fight a wicked witch queen played by Anjelica Huston (“Addams Family”). The original ran at Disneyland from 1986-1997. The new showing replaces the 3-D show "Honey, I Shrunk the Audience." It was only a matter of time really. Now, I remember Captain EO vaguely from my first trip to Disneyland when I was six…but I don’t plan on watching it when/if I go back to Disneyland on my road trip this April (currently not on the list). I’m curious how this will be received by parents in the next little while…but hey, it should be fun. I can’t wait for the first group of kids to watch it and go, “Michael Jackson was BLACK?!?” Ah, Disneyland. Where a kid can be a kid (or is that Chuck E. Cheese?). To be a kid again and blissfully ignorant & happy to all around you. Wouldn’t that be awesome? Well, that may never be again for most of us (at least until Alzheimer’s set in) but…there’s no need to fret.

How to Be Happy - The pursuit of happiness is sometimes easier said than done. God knows (as well as some of my friends) that I’ve had my moments of loneliness and Gloomy Gus Days. Luckily not that often but still, it creeps up on ya when you’re 500 miles from your closest friend and/or relative (well, I do have my stepsister in Carson City but…) Some scientists have argued that happiness is largely determined by genetics, health and other factors mostly outside of our control…but recent research suggests people actually can take charge of their own happiness and boost it through certain practices. "The billion-dollar question is - Is it possible to become happier?" said psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky of the University of California, Riverside. "Despite the finding that happiness is partially genetically determined, and despite the finding that life situations have a smaller influence on our happiness than we think they do, we argue that still a large portion of happiness is in our power to change." Lyubomirsky spoke in San Diego Saturday at the annual meeting of the American Association for the Advancement of Science (AAAS?). She and colleagues last year reviewed 51 studies that tested attempts to increase happiness through different types of positive thinking, and found that these practices can significantly enhance well-being. The results were published in the Journal of Clinical Psychology. Here are five things that research has shown can improve happiness:

1. Be Grateful - Some study participants were asked to write letters of gratitude to people who had helped them in some way. The study found that these people reported a lasting increase in happiness - over weeks and even months - after implementing the habit. What's even more surprising: Sending the letter is not necessary. Even when people wrote letters but never delivered them to the addressee, they still reported feeling better afterwards. You know, similar to when you write an angry letter to somebody…and don’t send it…but they tell you that part too late…and then the real fun begins and you’re grateful that you still have your health because your ass just got fired. Only vice versa. Being grateful for what you have and what others have done for you will help you through some rough times. Just remember to pay it forward.

2. Be Optimistic - Another practice that seems to help is optimistic thinking. Study participants were asked to visualize an ideal future - for example, living with a loving and supportive partner, or finding a job that was fulfilling - and describe the image in a journal entry. After doing this for a few weeks, these people too reported increased feelings of well-being. Yeah, I know. It sounds like “The Secret” but again, it’s visualizing the positive outcome. You know me, normally I’m Optimist Prime but we all have our moments. The key is to focus on the good and just know that you can do it. You’re awesome. And if you ever need anybody to help you know it, you know where to find me.

3. Count Your Blessings - People who practice writing down three good things that have happened to them every week show significant boosts in happiness, studies have found. It seems the act of focusing on the positive helps people remember reasons to be glad. For example, Lilie & JL Clyde have gotten me in the habit of asking people for their “Best Thing Today?” It’s simple, sweet & shows interest in another person. Whether it’s big news like a new job or finally paying off a bill…or something like, a stranger was giving you the eye or a compliment that somebody paid you that day, reliving those great moments again really helps you to realize how lucky you are. Also, I’ve found that every once in a while, just cataloging your numerous blessing really helps to overcome & outweigh the problems that you might have at that time. You know me, the logical approach…but it really does help. When you go over stuff like your family, friends, where you live, your health, the smell of rain, you make the world’s best sandwiches, how people can’t help but smile when they see you smile, all the wonderful gifts that you have…and then compare it with something like, your job is unfulfilling or your car broke down. Even if it’s something huge like…a loved one passing. Keeping it all in perspective will help you realize that you should focus on the good times during the time that you had with them…and maybe reconnect with others that you haven’t been around in a while. I know that’s a horrible example…but I’m just saying, even if you don’t realize it, you truly are blessed. Sometimes it’s just hard to remember when your mind’s going 100 MPH. Believe me, my mind’s ALWAYS doing Indy Car speeds. Do I have ADHD? Probably…but I call it Imagination.

4. Use Your Strengths - Another study asked people to identify their greatest strengths, and then to try to use these strengths in new ways. For example, someone who says they have a good sense of humor could try telling jokes to lighten up business meetings or cheer up sad friends. This habit, too, seems to heighten happiness (and I can personally attest to that example). Why do you think I do this blog? Boredom? A little bit. Mostly it’s because I like to make people happy…and even think a little bit…but not too much. I know there’s a few of you out there that enjoy my little rants (and the price is right…for now). My strengths, as I see them, are numerous…and this blog helps me to use some of them like my sense of humor, my ability to open up to people…and therefore help them to open up (not over the internet obviously), find the positive (or perverted) in just about anything, offer sincerity & sweetness not often found in most people, and most of all, help people to get a good hearty workout by literally laughing their asses off. Seriously. I’m expecting a call from that Jillian Michaels from the Biggest Loser to call me up as a special guest trainer or something. You think your sides hurt from stomach crunches? Just wait until I’m through help you bust your gut all over the room. Oh…and I can turn just about anything into a sexual innuendo (in your end-oh).

5. Commit Acts Of Kindness - It turns out helping others also helps ourselves. People who donate time or money to charity, or who altruistically assist people in need, report improvements in their own happiness. Yeah, donating money, time, blood, semen, hair, all that stuff can be very rewarding to your soul (I think you can guess which one’s the most fun). Those sayings where “you get what you give” and “better to give than receive” all come from somewhere…and not just Christmas commercials. Heck, even just little things like holding the door for somebody, or asking them how their day is…and really wanting to know, or helping somebody with their groceries, or giving away your 2nd Twix bar, or thanking somebody at work for doing their job, or saying “Your hair looks great today”, or some other thing that, I know for me, can seem like it would come across as a little weird and possibly disastrous if they take it the wrong way (“Quit looking at my hair, stalker!!!”) can really make somebody’s day. Later on, they may just have a little story that they share with their friends…and get to relive it again. “So I was having a horrible day…and basically preparing my speech for quitting that f**king job today…but then, Cindy came up to me and told me I’ve been doing a great job…and offered me a Twix bar. Then we chatted for like twenty minutes about my streaks. I was surprised that anybody even noticed. Hell, my husband hasn’t yet. I don’t know, maybe I’ve got that place all wrong. There really are some nice people there, it just seems so busy all the time that I miss the little things.” It’s like CRACK (Commit Random Acts of Contagious Kindness) to some of us. Sure payment is usually in smiles & thank you’s…and that sure don’t pay the bills…but it’ll help you keep your mind fresh & ready and full of that lovin’ feeling. Whoaoo, that lovin’ feeling. Anyway, Lyubomirsky has also created a free iPhone application, called Live Happy, to help people boost their well-being. So if you’re tech savvy, give it a shot too.

Also, a big happy birthday to the Great Emancipator himself, Abraham Tiberius Lincoln. Okay, I don’t think he had a middle name…so I went with one that sounded good. It seemed like just over a year ago when I rambled a bit about him & how I hoped Obama would be the next great President. I still have hope…but it seems politics are just too damn ridiculous to get anything done without just saying “F**k the rules” and doing whatever you want. Still Obama, I respect what you’re trying to do…and do things the right way. Keep your head up…and if I might make a suggestion, try rocking a hat. No, not one of those top hats…but you know, maybe a Kangol cap or a nice pompadour or something. Give it a shot. They’re not going to impeach you for a fashion statement. Fine, just keep it classy. And don’t be afraid to throw in a “B**ch please” every once in a while when somebody says something idiotic in one of your meetings. “President Obama, why do you think there has been so much resistance by the Republicans for your health care plan?” “B**ch please, you know why. Because it’s not their idea & it takes money out of their pockets. Just another case of Whitey holdin’ us back when they should be holdin’ us down like WHOA!!!” Sorry to turn Obama into Black Rob like that…but hey, it’d be refreshing. What was my point? Oh yeah, happy birthday Mister former President. May Marilyn give you a lap dance in heaven. Still can’t wait for your movie to come out.

Anyway, that’ll do it for today. Hopefully this little rambling brightened up your day a bit. I’m glad to report that Bubbles’ mom is out of surgery and doing just fine. May she have a speedy & complete recovery. Other than that, I shall bid you adieu…and remember to count your blessings. Have a great day everybody!!!