The Legend of the Turkey Spider

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Thanksgiving weekend is drawing to a bit of a close... so I thought I'd share what happened the past few days. Wednesday, I got outta work a few hours early, so I celebrated by going home & relaxing... and playing video games, cuz I'm a G. Thursday though... was Thanksgiving. I celebrating by meeting up with my ladyfriend Dizzy & meeting up at her aunt's house in Pinole... and her mama came to town, which is awesome... because I know she misses hers like I miss mine.

It was a full wonderful day of great people, great food, and even some decent football. There was SO much food... and even I got in the game & fried up some brined chicken legs (magnificent if I say so myself) but yeah, everybody was full of goodness by the end of the night. There was a lot of talk obviously about what we're thankful for... so I thought I'd share a few things:

1) My family - Love y'all madly...
2) My friends - Love y'all madly...
3) My health - I like being able to pee & poop right. It's definitely one of those things that you don't appreciate until it's gone... just ask your grandpa if you don't believe me.
4) Being able to provide for myself - I know my job isn't easy... but I enjoy the people that I work with... and the juice is definitely worth the squeeze... and you know what they say, if winning was easy, losers would do it.
5) My sense of humor - It gets me through some tough times... and has helped others too.
6) Sports - Because in today's society, very few people would be healthy if the only way you could exert yourself was running from large wild animals or jogging.
7) Living in 'Merica - Let's face it... if other countries were really better, you'd be living there, right? By the way, check back in with me in a few years when I'm living on a beach in Belize.
8) "Yes, I would like bacon on that..."
9) My imagination - Again, helped me through some tough times... and keeps my reality limber & exciting. Hopefully it'll also help me to provide for me & mine in the near future.
10) My sense of perspective - Otherwise I could really be a raging douchebag... and then how would I live with myself?
11) My blog readers - Yes... both of you...

Friday, Dizzy was supposed to work... but somehow there was a series of events that led her to call off... so we met up with the ladies again (mom & aunts) and we headed to a little 3-4 mile hike at Point Pinole. Here are some pictures...

Saturday, Dizzy had to work... so I basically stayed at home & watched college football on Rivalry Weekend... and there were some great games. Apparently the National Championship is going to be Notre Dame versus the winner of the Alabama-Georgia game next week... and Ohio State finished undefeated but because of discounts on tattoos, they won't be a part of the bowl games, which I have no problem with. Why? Because I feel that getting a discount on tattoos or jerseys or whatever legitimizes the penalty? Of course not, but because something needed to be done about the stuff they couldn't prove... and frankly, since Urban Meyer left Utah, f**k him!!! Just kidding, he seems like a good guy... I really just hate when people say THE Ohio State University... seriously, you're a buckeye, keep it in perspective with your communications degree there, buddy.

Saturday night though was the evening with Richard Cheese & Lounge Against the Machine at Bimbo's 365 Club. The venue is great for that roaring 20's theme, but they pack a LOT of people into a very small space, that's really my main problem with the place. Although, the performers were amazing. There was a burlesque dancer Violetta... something. The warmup act was Project Pimento, who do a similar swingy, bossa nova rendition of popular hits... using an instrument known as a Theremin (pictured below). It gives a cool creepy sound like from those 50's space invader movies... but the other music is very nice like you're in the club scene from the Rocketeer or something with a lady singing in a seashell & her swanky backup band. Yup, I bought their albums.

Sir Cheese & the band were also absolutley amazing as well. He mentioned in a post this morning that he was actually battling a stomach illness & considered cancelling, but we're all glad that he didn't because the band was amazing & he didn't seem to have a single miscue... and it was an amazing solid two hours of performance & humor. We really enjoyed ourselves (of course Dizzy was with me). Kudos to you, Mr. Cheese!

Today, I'm watching the Red Zone Channel while typing this up... so I'm about to get back to it, just thought I'd share with you. Hope you're all having a great weekend everybody!!!

Soccer Gets Interesting

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

The countdown to the holidays has officially begun. Halloween was awesome… and now we are well into the month of November with Thanksgiving next week. So many big events coming up though.

Saturday, Dizzy & I are going to see Adam Lakers Carolla do a live podcast… and we got front row tickets. Dizzy is kind of obsessed with him… and it might be wearing off on me a little bit, but I’m a G, so I hooked her up. What I’m assuming will happen is we go see the show, laugh our asses off, meet him afterwards when he’s selling his swag, have him sign a few books, maybe a bottle of Mangria, invite him & his buddies over to watch football on my WALL OF AWESOME Sunday, have the time of our lives getting sh*t-faced with “The Hammer” over bacon and beer induced goodness & he basically invites us out to LA to watch the Super Bowl with him & Jimmy Kimmel. “Can’t do, Adam… cuz I’m going to be AT the Super Bowl.” “DAMN! You roll hard! I understand though… anytime you’re in LA, mi casa es su casa, $teve!” “Likewise. See ya around playa!” New best friends. You know… the typical thing that happens at these shows, right? I’ll keep you posted.

Next week, Jackie D is finally making her triumphant return to the Bay Area for her birthday trip! You remember Vegas last year, right? Good… cuz I don’t recall much. What happened? Anyway, she’s going to come out for a few days… and we honestly really don’t even have anything planned per se… but sh*t always gets fun when Jackie D & Mookie Love are in the same city. BALL SO HARD!!!

Next Saturday, Dizzy & I are going to see Sir Richard Cheese & Lounge Against the Machine live & on stage at Bimbo’s. This is Dizzy’s first time seeing the Cheese… and will be my 3^rd. I also kind of get her obsessed on his swankified awesomeness… so it’ll be good for all. If you haven’t seen him in concert yet… go check it out if you can. Warning: He doesn’t do many shows… but at least check out his music & see if it’s worth the trip. It was when the Wingman & I went to Vegas!!!

After that, it’ll basically get into the time I should start thinking about getting presents for people for Christmas. At times like this, I wish I was crafty… or could get away with making pictures with macaroni & glue like I did back in the day. Instead, I have to be both thoughtful AND loaded to get good gifts. I also tend to give away a lot more (and better) gifts than I get in return… but that may just be because I’m a f**king sucker & put too much thought in it. Maybe this year will be the year of the Starbucks card… or the Christmas card with a picture of me & the family (me with no shirt on). Oh, I’ve got a few good ones already taken care of… but there’s still a few to go. Oh well, I’ll figure it out… or I won’t. See how dedicated I am? HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!

You know… it’s been a while since I blessed you guys with some news… so let’s talk about strippers!

Tits of Tots! – So… this morning, I got an email from one of my favorite websites www.sffuncheap.com which is where I get a lot of info about some of the cool festivals & activities that you get to hear me blabber on about on this blog. I’m strolling through their weekly update… and I see something that… I have to read several times to make sure that I’m reading it correctly & it’s not some early morning grogginess. Basically, there’s a gentlemen’s club in SOMA called The Gold Club… and tonight, they’re offering an open bar & hors d’ouevres from 8 PM to 10 PM… and when you donate a children’s toy, you’ll receive a complimentary lapdance from one of the lovely ho ho hoes. Now, there is the stipulation that each toy must be valued at about $20 (so no showing up with a bunch of crap you bought at Chinatown for a dollar to exchange), but I think this… is basically one of the greatest holiday ideas EVER!!! Think about it… the patrons are receiving the human contact that they so desperately desire, the girls are providing a service to the community to help needy children enjoy their Christmas, the owners are getting a nice tax write-off on their establishment, since they’re not considered an establishment of the arts (though several people are taking that to the Supreme Court). Everybody wins! That’s not the only way that strippers are continuing to save the world either…

FINALLY! Soccer can be interesting! - Greeks are giving the oldest profession a whole new meaning to love of the game. Players on a cash-strapped soccer team now wear pink practice jerseys with the logos "Villa Erotica" and "Soula's House of History," two bordellos it recruited as sponsors after drastic government spending cuts in Greece left the country's sports clubs facing ruin. By the way, if you don’t know just how bad the economy is in Greece, please do yourself a favor and read a few articles about it. It’s pretty horrible. Anyway, other teams have also turned to unconventional financing. One has a deal with a local funeral home and others have wooed kebab shops, a jam factory and producers of Greece's trademark feta cheese. Yes, these sponsors run from the hilarious to borderline racist… but the amateur Voukefalas club - whose players include pizza delivery guys, students, waiters and a bartender (I smell a sitcom) - has raised eyebrows with its flamboyant sponsorship choice. "Unfortunately, amateur football has been abandoned by almost everyone," said Yiannis Batziolas, the club's youthful chairman, who also runs a travel agency AND is the team's backup goalkeeper. "It's a question of survival." Prostitution is legal in Greece, where brothels operate under strict guidelines (as they should be). Though garish neon signs advertising their services are tolerated, the soccer sponsorship has ruffled some feathers in the sports-mad city of Larissa. League organizers have banned the pink jerseys during games, saying the deal violates "the sporting ideal" and is inappropriate for underage fans (who pay half price for tickets & don’t help beer sales anyway, so f**k em!). Batziolas acknowledges the sponsorship took his team by surprise. "They didn't believe it in the beginning. But when they saw the shirts printed, they thought it was funny." Near-bankrupt Greece is struggling to meet creditors' relentless demands to slash spending and keep the euro as its currency. As Greece heads toward a sixth year of recession, drastic budget cuts have hammered many ordinary people: Retirees have been left to cover their own medical expenses, children have lost school bus services, and sports teams have scrambled to find sponsors as businesses close under the burden of emergency taxes.

Brothel owner Soula Alevridou, the team's new benefactor, has already paid more $1,312 for players to wear her jerseys (yes… her… the madame of the House of History). The team is appealing the game ban, but that doesn't worry the 67-year-old Alevridou, who says she's only in it because she loves soccer… and the pimp game. "It's not the kind of business that needs promotion," she said, dressed all in white and flanked by two young women in dark leggings at a recent game. "It's a word-of-mouth kind of thing." Her businesses, plushly decorated pastel-colored bungalows where 14 women are employed, have weathered the country's financial disaster far better than most, and she readily acknowledges her success. "If we don't help our scientists and athletes, where will we be? Greece has educated people, cultured people and good athletes. It's better to help them than take our money to Switzerland." Alevridou watched in disappointment as her team lost its fourth straight game, 1-0, despite her promise to players of "a special time" at her businesses if they won. "There's a lot still missing. We have no midfield," said Alevridou, a slightly built woman with a husky voice. "Many of our boys have jobs that keep them working at night… and if we have a game the following morning, they can't have a real presence on the pitch. ... They need more help." And unfortunately the “special time” probably wouldn’t help. They aren't the only team suffering. Greece's Amateur Athletics Federation suspended all its activities for several weeks earlier this year to protest funding cuts. And even the major soccer clubs sent most of their star players abroad this summer in the face of financial trouble and poor attendance, with fans no longer able to afford tickets. Government cuts have hurt most of the teams in the amateur league in Larissa - the majestically named Olympus, Hercules, Fearless and Sagittarius clubs, as well as Voukefalas, named after Alexander the Great's horse (really?). The impact of the crisis on sports is a major local concern. The town of 200,000 fielded the only professional club to ever break big-city domination of the league, winning the national championship in 1988. In 2007, Larissa FC also rebounded from bankruptcy for victory in the prestigious Greek Cup. Voukefalas says it needs about $13,120 a year to meet expenses, and Alevridou has promised more cash. "Here is where it all begins, with amateur sport. It's where the talent is bred. I am a Greek woman, and I love my country." She watched quietly, holding a cigarette and wearing a straw fedora with a leopard print band, as her team struggled. "The team will get better. I'm certain of it." By God, I love this woman’s passion! We should have more entrepreneurs like her! Can you imagine Larry Flynt being an owner of a professional football team? The Las Vegas Hustlers? Now, this is coming from a fan of Lingerie Football League AND the WNBA… but obviously for different reasons than you’re probably thinking… I like my sports. Sure, we’ve got mega bazillionaires that own most of the major sports teams… but what about all the struggling amateur leagues that just need a few grand for uniforms? What about a San Francisco semi-pro league with sponsors from Google to the Gold Club? Maybe I’ve found a new project…

Anyway, that’ll wrap it up for tonight. Looking forward to a fantastic week ahead… and I hope that you are too. Have a great night everybody!!!

Hobo Stops Begging, Demands Change

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,



Continuing on the week, let’s see… when I last rambled, I had just had an unexpected goodbye from the family… oh and then almost on queue after that, my brother called to tell me that his car got towed because he parked in a yellow zone to go check out a store for some Gundam figurines. Oh wait, did I not mention that part? I must’ve left that out. $439 later (of course not his) he got his car back… and I got to hear about it for the next few days because he can’t read signs. Tuesday night though, once he calmed down, wasn’t that bad. We ordered a pizza, played some video games, and watched “Paul” starring Nick Frost & Simon Pegg as two ComicCon geeks who go on a road trip to alien hot spots… and stumble upon a real life alien (voiced by Seth Rogen) and hijinx ensue. That’s really all you need to know about the movie other than it’s absolutely hilarious… so go check it out.



Wednesday was work again… and then afterwards, I met up with my brother & C-Rock downtown to go see a pre-screening of “Contagion” (which looks like “Outbreak” but with Matt Damon instead of Dustin Hoffman). First though, they walked from my apartment to my work… which is about 4.5 miles. Why? Well, my brother was scared to drive apparently now because of the towing, okay I can see why you wouldn’t want to… but why not take the bus? His excuse: He didn’t have two dollars. Really? Then why are coming to meet me downtown? Oh yes, so that I can pay for everything, I forgot. Fine, just don’t b**ch to me about the blisters on your feet… oh wait, of course that’s going to happen… for a few days. It’s a good thing that I love that big b**ch. Anyway, we met up, went to the theatre… and there was a line around the block, so we (they) decided to just go back to the apartment & have fun there. First though, we stopped by Del Taco to grab something cheap to eat. Well… you get what you pay for… as I found out the next morning…



Basically a few hours later, my stomach was not doing so hot… and it led to my backside not doing so hot… and then basically most of the evening, I was up in my bathroom (and occasionally the shower just to cover both bases). Not a great night at all… and I couldn’t even blame drinking this time, but a 1 lb. Macho Chicken Burrito. So I had to call in sick the next day… but I’ll say one thing for my brother, at least he was willing to stop by the store & pick me up some Gatorade & bread before his 16 hour drive back to Slick City (with a scenic route wrong turn around Sacramento to South Lake Tahoe). So yeah… that was a fun day… and my throat still burns a bit. Friday was catching up at work and then catching up on sleep.



Saturday, I did some hiking around the Presidio (about 3 miles worth), got some Chinese food on Clement (3 miles roundtrip walk also), then went to the Richard Cheese & Lounge Against the Machine concert at Bimbo’s 365 Club on Columbus. Wasn’t sure if I was going to make it, but got a last minute bonus at work on Friday, so I thought I’d make an evening of it… even if by myself. Took the bus, met a few people waiting in line, chatted it up, sat at a table, and was later joined by three British gentlemen about my age (Griff, Devin & Mike). We got a few drinks, and they were on a trip across the U.S. with stops in New York, Miami, New Orleans, St Louis, Chicago, San Francisco & then heading to LA the next morning… so we naturally chatted about their adventures… and we talked about New Orleans the most since it was their favorite stop & my expertise in visiting the area. The show was phenomenal, we had a great time, and then afterwards, we went to the International Sports Bar across the street, had a few more drinks, wished each other well in our journeys, & parted ways. Pretty good evening for what was otherwise going to be staying at home. Got back… and Nurse was there, so we watched a bit of “30 Rock” before she passed out on the couch & I snuck upstairs to my bed.



Sunday, I woke up, took the bus & then a ferry… and went to Angel Island. Not nearly as popular as Alcatraz, but this 720 acre island is now a national park & was the “Ellis Island of the West” so for many Asian immigrants, this was their gateway to America. It was also a historically strategic fort location for several civilizations throughout the years as well… and before that, home to the Miwok people. There’s some great hiking trails, but this time, I just took the tram tour. Also, just an FYI, their nachos at the café were pretty damn good. They had con queso sauce, ranch, jalapenos, tomatoes, etc… but surprisingly good for no meat. A little steep at ten bucks, but I ended up splitting it with two other people I met there so it worked out well. Anyway, here are some pictures…



Sunday night was basketball… and we started out great. By which I mean, they were giving me the ball on offense… and I scored 11 of our first 14 points, was shutting them down on defense (probably 5 blocks at that point & a dozen or so for the game), and we had a lead. Then, they started popping the threes again. I would come up to pick & roll (as we decided in the timeout a minute earlier) and they would tell me to get out of the way. Nobody else on the floor was moving… and I was the only player inside the three point line. So they would pop the threes… and I’d be trying to outrebound at least three guys. It just wasn’t working… as usual. I was still holding it down on defense… until they took me out with about 7 minutes to play. Why? I guess they had given up. We really need to get a strategy down… but nobody sticks to anything we decide. It’s frustrating… but somehow, I’m still having fun because I enjoy playing… and yeah, I end up working harder to try to give them a fighting chance… but hey, obviously I’m not too butt sore about it. I’d just like to win once in a while, you know?



After the game, I decided to watch a movie that… I probably couldn’t really watch with the roommates. Luckily the apartment was empty… so I took a shower, changed into something more comfortable, got some strawberries & a refreshing beverage and watched… “Hobo With a Shotgun” starring Rutger Hauer. What? Did you think it was going to be something a little sexier? Chil’ please! I watch all the sexy shows WITH the roommates. Have you seen “Nip/Tuck”? Anyway, back to last night. So yes, Hobo with a Shotgun is the latest of the trailers from the epic “Grindhouse” to be made into a real feature length movie (“Machete” being the largest grossing thus far). As you might expect, it’s primarily a plot loosely based in reality & is more for paying homage to the grindhouse genre movies with all of their filthy language, grotesque violence and over-the-top acting… but it can still be well-done (as far as setting tone, etc) and just purely entertaining on a primal level. This movie was that. As you might guess from the title, the story is about a Hobo (played by the legendary blue-eyed Rutger Hauer) who comes to make a fresh start in a town… and there’s a lot of drugs, violence & random killing spectacles… so stands up for himself, gets scarred, befriends a prostitute, buys a shotgun… and starts to clean house. I highly recommend this movie if that’s your thing… it really is a LOT better than it sounds… but yeah, still pretty bad.



After that, Pixie & Nurse came home as I was looking for the next selection… so I went with a movie that had been on my queue for a while, but never got around to watching it. The movie was “Misery” starring Kathy Bates & James Caan (KAAAAAHN!!!) and I had never seen it before. WHAT? That’s right, never. I had seen a few parodies of it over the years on various shows & movies… but never the original. For those who don’t know, it’s the story of a famous author (Caan) who is at his mountain retreat to finish up his latest book. He’s driving back to New York, but gets caught in a blizzard and slides his Mustang off the road. He’s saved by a woman (Bates) who claims to be his biggest fan… and she is… to the creepiest Nth degree. He’s bedridden… and she takes care of him… but when she reads his latest book… and finds that he’s planning on killing off her favorite character Misery… that’s when it goes from creepy to nuckin’ futz. It’s a great suspenseful creepy flick… and I highly recommend that you check it out… preferably with female roommates so that you get to hear the screams & watch them freak out. That’s almost as entertaining as the movie was.



Anyway, that’ll do it for today. It was a pretty good week for the most part… and Labor Day weekend is coming up so I’d better get my plans ready. Carmen mentioned doing a cookout a few weeks ago… but haven’t heard much on it since. It still will be nice to have three days off. Have a great day everybody!!!

Godfather of Funk

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

I know… I’m getting sloppy with keeping up with this thing… but rest assured, it’s not for a lack of trying. I’ve just been HELLA busy getting everything squared away with the new job, new apartment, moving in general, and then to be an ass… I went to Vegas for the weekend. I know, right? What the hell was I thinking? I’m glad you asked… because it had been a while since I went to visit my mistress… and I had planned this a few months ago… and I was going to f**k sh*t up with my Wingman… regardless of where I was flying from so… ain’t nothing changing but the tail number on the flight. Now, before that though, I was able to spend one evening in my new bedroom before that. Wednesday night, after work, I ran some errands & then started moving all of my bedroom stuff out of the living room into the recently-vacated master bedroom… and the only tricky stuff was the king mattress up a narrow staircase & the dresser for sheer weight, but it was done fairly easily… and I even set up the projector TV for my roommates… as they went through my extensive DVD collection & we chatted and got to know each other. I think they were more curious about me though… but seriously, what kind of a man has a collection of movies including everything from the Muppets to the Marx Brothers to Marilyn Monroe to Tony Montana to Martin Scorsese to Mariah Carey? Oh wait, that last one was a CD case they found. Don’t judge me. I’m a sucker for sultry R&B singers. Deal with it. They are… and they like it. Anyway, enough about that, on to Vegas…

Thursday after work, I took the BART for the first time… and managed to f**k that up. Apparently, you get off at a certain stop in San Bruno, then switch to another train that takes you out to the airport, even though the signage says to stay on a certain train until the next stop when you get off the train… so yeah, I looked like a dumbass getting off the train & then hopping right back on with my baggage. Luckily, I looked stupid enough that a few people noticed. I sat next to some guys in construction. “Excuse me, you going to the airport?” “Yeah, is this the right way?” “You want to get off on that last stop, go to the other side, and then that’ll take you out there… but now, it’s gonna be about 45 minutes or so cuz you have to get off at the next one at Millbrae, wait for that train, take it back there, wait for another one… you know?” “Ah… lame…” It was about this time that I felt a hand on my shoulder from behind. Luckily I could tell it was a lady hand otherwise somebody might’ve gotten popped.

“Sir, if you would like, I’m getting off at Millbrae & I could drive you out to the Airport if you would like. It’s just a few minutes from where I live.” “Well, I don’t want to intrude or anything…” “No intrusion. It’ll be my good deed for the day.” “Oh well… if it’s your good deed for the day… then it’d be rude to deny you that.” So Soccer Mom was there with a field trip as a chaperon with her daughter… but the daughter wanted to go hang out with her friends at In-n-Out Burger, so it was basically just the two of us running out to the airport. We chatted. She asked me where I was going, from, etc. & somehow we got to talking about traveling the world… and we both yakked about Italy & France (apparently she goes there every few months with her job) and yeah, good times. Then I got to the airport to find my flight delayed about two hours so… that 45 minutes wouldn’t have been a problem but I’m glad it worked out that way.

Eventually I made it to Vegas, met up with the Wingman, and we checked into the new Cosmopolitan hotel at the City Center on the Strip. The last time I had been to the Strip, the City Center was still a bit of an eyesore from my view at the Grand Chateau… but now, it’s a pretty hip trendy place to see & be seen. The hotel is VERY modern contemporary… but still pretty cool. They have a bar shaped like a giant chandelier, LCD screens EVERYWHERE, with images of Jellyfish on pillars, and hip futuristic designs throughout. Very cool, you should check it out if you get the chance, even just the casino. The rooms were pretty nice too… except one little thing. We had a room with two double beds, so intended for a family, right? Well, the shower… has this sliding curtain so you can watch the person shower… or if you’re more conservative, just watch their silhouette bathe. We decided that this hotel room was geared more towards swingers than family. Anyway, here are some pictures…

That night, we didn’t do a whole hell of a lot. Both of us had been up since the crack of dawn… and my flight was late… so we had a great Italian dinner at the Bootlegger & got some essentials at Safeway and then enjoyed the Fountains of Bellagio from the window of our 37th floor room and turned in around midnight.

Friday, we eventually got out of bed & wandered about the City Center & the Strip. Yeah, just wandered during the few daylight hours that we had, ate at Fatburger, grabbed a 100 oz alcoholic beverage by the yard (with a little extra booze courtesy of gratuity) & this started off the evening right… but here are pictures of the day first…

"That's your problem right there... your camshaft..."

Next was the Cirque du Soleil production Zumanity at New York New York. I had wanted to see this show for a while… because you know… I’ve heard great things about Cirque… but daddy also likes strip clubs… so when it came down to one or the other… I always went with the other… until they decided to combine the sensuality of the strip club… without the lingering smell. What is that smell by the way? Desperation? Smut? I think it’s smut. Anyway, this show was amazing… and very sexy & sensual… and incredible performers… and even funny. Don’t know what I need to do to be part of the interactivity with the performers (buy seats closer & be middle aged) but I may have to consider it. I highly recommend it.

This is actual the new Sirens at TI but... no pictures in Zumanity

After the show, we ugh… well… we went where gentlemen do when in Vegas and unattached to any female counterparts. No, not the clubs like Tryst (by the way, my favorite, just for the name), but rather the gentlemen’s clubs… and long story short, we found a great place to get Chinese food at 4 AM called… I think it was Harbor Palace… damn drinks… but they’ll kick you out at 5 AM. Trust me.

Saturday, we arose at the crack of noon, then enjoyed my new favorite Vegas buffet, the Wicked Spoon at the Cosmopolitan. Great food, wide selection, trendy atmosphere, and only $23 (or $35 if you want mimosas & bloody marys). I was severely stuffed by the end of the meal… and I had barely touched the dessert section with various gelatos for my enjoyment. Yeah… it was that good. Oh... and I jumped off the Stratosphere around sunset...

That evening, our first stop was the concert of the amazing Richard Cheese & Lounge Against the Machine at the Green Valley Resort in Henderson (about 20 minutes from the Strip). For those of you who don’t know (apparently new to the blog), Richard Cheese performs lounge version of hip-hop & heavy metals songs. You have the usual quartet of drums, bass, piano & lounge singer… and the fairly standard melodies… but the words are that of popular songs that… just go so well in the format. From the opener of “Closer” by Nine Inch Nails… to the tango of “Insane in the Membrane” by Cypress Hill… to a soulful rendition of “Baby Got Back” by Sir Mix-A-Lot… to the closer of “Summertime” by Sublime, just an incredible show with plenty of humor to go around. Really considering going to see him again on February 20th here in San Francisco. The only problem… standing room only venue… but it worked pretty well later in the week, but more on that later. Again, highly recommended if they come to your town.

Next, the Wingman & I decided to go see “The Mechanic” starring Jason Statham, Donald Sutherland & Ben Foster. It’s the story of a hitman (Statham) who gets a job from his superiors to take out his own handler (Sutherland) which of course he does. Well, his handler’s deadbeat son (Foster) is hellbent on finding the man that killed his father… but asks the hitman for help. Awkward… and the story goes from there. Basically it’s everything that you’d expect from a Jason Statham movie. Fights, guns, blood, shirtless, car chases, more fights, more guns, steely demeanors, don’t get me wrong, I like Jason Statham & he’s obviously the best there is as far as action heroes nowadays. I’m just saying nobody in this movie will be considered for an Academy Award. Action was okay… story VERY predictable… see it if you’d like.

Sunday, I had an early morning flight, which apparently went to LAX before going to SFO, which kinda sucked… but whatever, I had a seat with good legroom so I let it slide. Got back to the apartment, started unloading a few boxes in the bedroom, got a pizza with the roommates, then… they found the Rock Band. At that point, any plans that I had to finish the bedroom went completely out the window… but a Rock Band Party ensued… so it was okay. I don’t think I need to tell you… but the ladies were impressed with the Golden Pipes… and they haven’t experienced the guitar skills yet (apparently it’s still broken, but two new ones are on the way).

Monday was work, then Bubbles wanted company for her monthly grocery shopping trip… and I didn’t have any food, so I accompanied her there… and to Petco (had Brutis’ back to make sure she got the good stuff). Eventually I made it back home, unloaded some more boxes, then when the roommates started going to bed, I decided to go downstairs & watch a movie, “Repo Men” starring Jude Law, Forest Whitaker & Liev Schrieber. It’s a futuristic story of people basically repossessing organ transplants when hospital bills aren’t paid in a timely manner. Seems to make sense, right? Yeah, if you’re a heartless cretin like me… but apparently it’s a bad thing. It’s a movie full of parellels & metaphors for the human condition… and it’s actually a pretty good flick, though gritty & bloody at times, but nothing amazing. The RZA had a cameo so I had to throw up a WU but other than that, not a whole lot of great things about the movie.

Tuesday was work, even though I was feeling a little under the weather (usual Vegas weekend flu?) then I was able to set up my bed, just in time to go to the George Clinton & Parliament Funkadelic concert at Yoshi’s Jazz Club. The venue was surprisingly nice… not sure what I was expecting exactly but this was above & beyond… like a real nice jazz club with seats, waitresses, and of course… a dance floor. Once the music started, this white boy got funky. I hate to say it… but George is getting up there in the years… and I think he might have a throat ailment or two… but he’s still a great performer, full of charisma, and P-Funk is absolutely amazing. The concert was over three hours… and brought out all the classics… and even George’s granddaughter had a nice couple of numbers. I couldn’t quite make out her name (throat ailment or two) but yeah, pretty good. Google it. Even mild illness couldn’t keep me from getting my funk on for hours at a time… but I sure felt it this morning when I woke up. Well worth it though. If you EVER get a chance to see them in concert, do yourself a favor and get seats… or dance floor admission. Whatever’s clever.

Anyway, that’s the week that was. I’ll try to keep up on this thing a little better now that I’m starting to get settled… but hey, if you don’t hear from me, it obviously means that I’m out doing something fun… so I won’t feel too bad about it & neither should you. Have a great day everybody!!!