Taking a step back

It was a terrible weekend. Its forced me to take a step back.

This will sound like a lot of whining.... because it is.... but by the end it'll have a point, I promise.

Friday started off with the Women's Basketball coaches for Oklahoma State University dying in a plane crash. If you don't know already, I went to Oklahoma State way back in 1996, and while I was tossed out after that one year and ended up graduating from another University, it was one of the two best years of my life, so I always consider OSU my school, even if I'm not exactly a Cowboy.

Later that night our # 2 overall football team lost to unranked Iowa State and probably cost us a shot at the National Championship. You never know how emotional events affect things, and there's no way that team wasn't feeling the impact on that night. OSU has had too many tragedies in recent years.

So it was a black Friday one week early for those of us donning the black and orange.
But that wasn't the worst part.

This broken arm is costing me all of my extra side cash, which basically means there's not much of a life. I had been looking forward to a couple of events Saturday for about a month now, but I had to cancel my plans to go because of how broke these doctors bills have left me. They fitted me with a new cast which allows me to move my elbow, but its tighter and more restictive around the wrist.

The elbow looks gnarly now, I have no muscle in that arm anymore, and the pain getting the joint used to moving again is indescribeable. And that's after only two weeks. But another nasty side effect showed itself. I'm claustrophobic, can't stand to have anything pinned where it can't move. If I were buried alive like Ryan Reynolds I'd go into a fit and drop dead, so this cast has made me so uncomfortable over the past few days that I have to medicate just to stand life. As a result, I've been between a daze state and aggravated. And its cost me all my spending money to be there.

But that wasn't the worst part.

Sunday morning started off well enough, my softball team put up a quick 10 spot and we won the first game of the championship. We only needed to take one of the next two in order to finally win it all. We had the lead late in both games, but couldn't hold on. Worst still, we gave the games away, they didn't beat us, we did it to ourselves with bad mistakes, and there were spots where I could have made a difference had I been able to take the field. So we lost the big one and no one to blame but ourselves.

But that wasn't the worst part.

Later in the day my Buffalo Bills got smoked by a pig Miami Dolphin team, proving that they aren't ready for prime time, PRE-tenders rather than CON-tenders. And to make matters worse, the NY Football Giants played like trash and may not be ready either. I tried watching the game with some buddies, but by half the irritating arm syndrome had taken over and I had to get out of there. My softball season is over, my football season might as well be, so now there's nothing to look forward to until March or so, playoff Hockey time, and I can't even hang out with the guys for more than two hours......

But that wasn't the worst part.

Have you ever felt something so strong that every fiber of your being, every ounce of what you are and the very Universe around you is screaming "THIS IS IT! THIS IS GOING TO HAPPEN!" and in order for the world to be right, that vibe, that feeling has to be true because there's just no going back to the way things were, to looking at the world the way you once had if you're wrong?

For the better part of a month I've had that vibe. Certain things had been progressing in a way that it just had to be, there couldn't be any other possible outcome, because every bit of me is overwhelmed with this sensation, THIS IS IT! THIS IS GOING HAPPEN! Either I'm right or I'm completely insane. Both are strong possibilities.

And then I saw something. That something.... well.... it would be completely ridiculous to suggest that it was me. So I have to be wrong.

At the same time..... the way things had been going, with everything pointing towards it.... it would be completely ridiculous to suggest that its anyone else.

Regardless of whether I'm right about "THIS" or I'm just nuts, I've been better because of it, and its not something I ever want going away. But if I'm wrong, it will.

My intuition has always been my north star, my guiding light, and whatever "THIS" is, I want it so much that I may be seeing signs where there are none. I can no longer trust myself, or my gut feelings.

THAT my friends is the WORST!

The point today wasn't to cry about my problems though, but its the perfect week to bring this up. How many times have you had a day like this, or a weekend, or a week, month, even whole years like this, when nothing seemed to go right, nothing went your way, everything that you had been looking forward to was completely wiped out and it seemed you lost every reason you had to even wake up in the morning and keep going?

How many times have you been so rocked by something that now you even doubt the things you were sure of? As my boy Bruce Springsteen would say, "God have mercy on the man who doubts what he's sure of!"

A friend of mine said recently that too many of us focus on the bad all too often, rather than focusing on the good. And when you're going through this, its so easy to get stuck in that negative spin, isn't it? Its so easy to see everything that's gone wrong, and lose sight of all you have that's good in your world.

Then what's a person to do?

Its fitting that this is Thanksgiving week, because its times like this, when everything seems to just suck, where it becomes imperative to take a step back, take a breathe, and focus on the things that you appreciate in life. "Yeah, that sucked, but Thank Fuck for THIS!"

Not only will it keep you going, but it will help put that smile back on your face and give you the strength and energy to forge ahead towards something good.

Hope Dworacyk is something good

That's body paint!

Or, again, as my boy Bruce would put it "Let the broken hearts stand as the price youve gotta pay. Keep pushin till it's understood and these badlands start treating us good."

So tomorrow I hope you'll join me as I tell you about all the things I appreciate in life.

Later People!

Join my fanpage John LaSota - Writer

Or our creative team's page The Mad Doser Presents

And if you need a healthy helping hand from a Personal Performance Consultant

Coach LaSota

Hindsight is always 20/20... Jerry Sandusky, Occupy Wall Street and Common Sense!

"In hindsight, I probably shouldn't have showered with those kids" - Jerry Sandusky

How great is that? Once again, proving that hindsight is 20/20. What do you suppose was his first clue that that was a bad idea? Let's not knock him too much, he was only horsing around with those boys, and every one of us have been in that spot, looking back, realizing what we just did probably wasn't the best idea in the world....

There it is, that "Duh" moment. I don't know why, but I love this picture. It cracks me up, probably because I've been there before, usually once a day, just about the time I get my first comment about this blog.... or maybe its just that look on his face....

Luckily for me I stop short just of kid touching when it hits me, "that was definitely NOT great!"

That's right pal, those WERE the droids you were looking for. Think of all the lives you could have saved, the fate of an entire Empire.... and now we're at the mercy of Rebel Scum.... and its all on you there buddy... you F'ed up!

Not to point out the obvious here, I mean, the caption to the picture explains why all of these guys are grabbing their own junk, but why does the black guy have his meat hook on someone else's unit? Its not as if he needed anything else to make him stand out here, but my guess is that the uniform says it all.... he plays for the other team.

This is looking like a scene out of Nosferatu. Could you imagine if you got caught in a zombie apocalypse, but every zombie was a Hasidic Jew? If it looked anything like this I'd be dead, I'd be laughing too hard to run away, which leads me to another question.... can Hasidic Jew Zombies eat people? What I mean is, is that Kosher?

In case you're not gettin this one, that's former professional wrestler Chris Benoit. I say former because he went on a steroid induced rampage, strangled his wife and kids to death, then hung himself. At first I was going to say this was a bad shirt choice, but in hindsight, it perfectly sums up professional wrastlers... most of them are trailer trash made famous off of steroid induced rampages and choking people out....

But if you needed any more proof that wrestling is gay, its all right here, isn't it? I get what HHH is doing, jamming ole boys head between his legs... but what's that dude off to the side about to do with his fist? He's about to ram it run up ole boy's bent over ass, isn't he? UGH!!! That's not even right.

Speaking of gay.... listening to Judas Priest growing up would have been a lot different if I had seen this shot way back when, wouldn't it? What a horror! Rob Halford always wanted to be one of the Village People, and here he gets his chance. Honestly, how did any of us not see this coming?

But you know who DID see it coming?

That's right! Kurt Cobain saw it coming alright. It was the last thing he saw. Check out Courtney Love back there... enough said!

Why does that seem so damn appropriate here? I can almost see these little bastards planning something like this. Do you think this is what Courtney Love told Kurt Cobain just before he blew his face off? I wonder what the signal was, probably something nasty, something like an old George Carlin favorite, a massive pussy fart! And BAM!

I'm sure that dance move looked a lot better when they did it in their head. Whatever went wrong, the cameraman deserves major props... they had to have caught this with her on the way down. Her face has a one way ticket making a connection with that tiled floor. In about 3 seconds there's going to be blood and teeth everywhere!

Speaking of blood and teeth everywhere.... GOOD! I don't know about you, but I always root for the bull. It drives me crazy any time I see innocents suffering for no good reason, and I REALLY rail against it when its for the joy of others, so animal cruelty is at the top of my list of no-no's. So if you're the dumbass that gets himself impaled and then trampled by a thousand plus pound rampaging beast because you get a chuckle out of caging them, hurting them, and then riling them up.... you deserve what you get... and I get to laugh at your pain and misery after the fact.

You know from my posts and the many, MANY times you've come to me for my Life Coaching services that I'm all about empowerment, so this comic was right up my alley. That line right there, very true, is probably the biggest nail in the toe for all of us at the bottom looking up... you can have all the best ideas in the world, you can plan out all the details, know everything that has to be done and have it all worked out perfectly.... but without the power to get those plans going, to breathe life into what you're trying to do, you've got a whole lot of nothing....

And it fits perfectly that I bring this up on the day Occupy Wall Street is getting flushed from their flopping grounds....

"Bring out the crack suicide squad!"

I guess you have to know Monty Python to get that one. All I know is that fixing bayonets BEFORE the weapons tossing was not the best idea. This is going to get messy.

Did you see the piles of garbage they cleared out of Zuccotti Park from the OWS people? It was disgusting, like the dumps in Staten Island. What a disaster!

But how awesome is this.... Occupy Wall Street is supposed to be about corporate power and economic inequity... Billionaire Jay-Z made a killing for his clothing company off of shirts made about the event. Now on top of nationwide troubles with degenerates the movement has now found ways to FUND the corporate machine..... that's brilliant! What was that line about plans and power again?

What this has to do with hindsight I have no idea, maybe it has something to do with those pants, but it came up in my search, and did you honestly think I'd go an entire post without having even one lovely lady?

But its good also that she has nothing to do with hindsight because it allows me to add my lesson for the day. Yes, hindsight is always 20/20, and when the term comes up its always in some connection with "how the hell did you not see that coming, its common sense!". Common Sense... if we all had it there would never be a need for hindsight, right? At least that's how the story goes.

Trouble is, there's no such thing as common sense. It doesn't exist. In Social Psychology we have a phenomena called Hindsight Bias. Simply put, the answers always seem so much clearer once you know the outcome, and upon knowing that outcome, those feelings that we had that tell us were were right in the first place always appear to be much stronger than they really were. Its so pervasive that you can give a person a wrong answer and they'll explain to you all the reasons why that makes "perfect sense". Think about it and I'm sure you'll remember doing it yourself. Here endeth the lesson of the day.

Later People.



Join my fanpage John LaSota - Writer

Or our creative team's page The Mad Doser Presents

And if you need a healthy helping hand from a Personal Performance Consultant

Coach LaSota

The picture challenge and your montage song!

Some of you may be confused by all of the Princess Leia slave girl costumes from yesterday's post; they were really loosely based on what I was talking about. If the costumes themselves were that loose the women in them would have been naked.

Most of the time I try to carefully choose the pictures that I use to enhance whatever I'm talking about, and since I've started doing it I find its a real nice form of storytelling. Beyond that, what better way to make a point; afterall, a picture is worth a thousand words.

There are times though, that for whatever reason, the mood I'm in or the story I'm telling, feels a little heavy. No one likes to be a downer, and that's certainly not what we're going for here, is it? When I'm reading one of the pieces I've prepared for you and catch that in the tone I look for something to pick it up, balance it out. It always comes back to balance, doesn't it?

While I realize that it may turn some of you off, so will crying in my cheerios, so I hope its only off putting for a bit. Besides, what can be more iconic than Princess Leia? The real reason behind choosing those pictures was simple though..... I couldn't decide which one to go with, so I used them all.

I'll have to find a creative way to make it up to the ladies, all my female fans out there (which is most of my readers, surprisingly), that makes me use nothing but pictures of dudes that won't make me sick. THAT my friends, should be interesting. BUT.... part of the entire reason behind this mess is to get those creative juices flowing, so I'll come up with something cool; its a good challenge.

I'm all for a creative challenge. I love the damn things. Often, when you're writing everyday, it can be hard to come up with good topics. And those of you who read me all the time can by now tell the difference when I'm really feeling something. With this, and even more so in my storytelling, what I use in my fiction for my books, when you're really feeling it the story just writes itself. As the writer your only job is to just let it happen. All the best things in life happen that way, don't you think?

That's probably why I enjoyed the short story book that I've been pushing so much. I think every one of those stories had been something like that.

One of the stories in that book, "A Moment", one of my favorite pieces that I've ever put down, took ten years to write. I had the idea, but it took meeting the right person and one of my worst days in life to happen in order to put it all together. From there it just flowed through me, and now because of it, one of the dearest creatures to ever touch my heart will be with me forever. Not that I needed the story for that, but I get to share her with you, which you couldn't experience otherwise.

I've got a lot of talented musician friends, and many of them tell me that for them its the same thing, the music just flows through them. Well.... I'm always looking for new ways to tap that flow.

So here's a little something different for you, a way to make things more fun, and get this spot on a whole new interactive level..... you pick the pictures and I'll write something based on them. Pick out any ten random photos that aren't porn and I'll see what I can do with them. Sent them to john@maddoser.com

In the meantime, maybe you can help me with something I've been trying to decide since WAY back to my very first post "I NEED TO FLY ON THIS ONE!". If you haven't read that one you really should. I've come a long way since then now that I decided to clean it up, but just be warned, its full of swearing and toilet humor. Actually, that's probably all it is.

Anyway.... what would your montage song be?

Every time I think of the answer a hundred songs fill my head. Most of the time I learn towards Tom Petty's "Learning to Fly" because it seems to fit where I am right now.

Though I'm really not too sure that a slower song would do, a montage should be fast and upbeat, no?

That's not where I'm at though. For a moment I thought "No Rain" would work perfectly....

"All I can say is that my life is pretty plain...."

But a montage is supposed to show you getting things done, progressing through the major stages of your life in a three minute musical mosaic.

Still, "No Rain" fits pretty well right now. Trouble is... who wants to watch a three minute clip of me sitting around doing nothing in all its various forms for six months? And sadly, right there, if anything does, that statement just about sums up my sorry state of affairs.

DAMN, I NEED A MONTAGE!

The real answer to the montage question probably lies in what you want for your life in the next few weeks or months though I suppose, if we had that choice. And since I'm stuck on Tom Petty anyway, I'm going to leave you with the montage song I'd choose, one of my favorite of all time, if mine were a love story.

Yeah.... that'd be cool.
That's what I really want.

What about you? What would be happening? What would your song be?

Later People!



Join my fanpage John LaSota - Writer

Or our creative team's page The Mad Doser Presents

And if you need a healthy helping hand from a Personal Performance Consultant

Coach LaSota

Slave Girl Princess Leia, and the balance between negative heckling and constructive criticism...

The response to yesterdays post, and all of last week, was OUTRAGEOUS! Thanks for that! Its amazing how that happens when just 1 of you shares these posts with your friends on Facebook.

One of the things that I held back from my coverage of the New York City Comic Con, the review of a book I was given for free from someone that I've seen around at a few different venues just for the purpose of the review, ends up being the perfect lead in for today.

The reason its perfect.... I just can't do it. I can't.

The book wasn't good. Sure, there were a couple of good ideas, but nothing sustainable. It just seemed like a bad rip on the old Tick comics, with a story that just didn't work. But I know how hard it is to do all that work, believe in it, put the time, money and effort into selling it... and it going no place. I just don't have the heart to tear it apart, not like I would do with multimillion dollar Hollywood productions.

The shame of it is, in terms of getting yourself out there, the creator was doing everything right. He had the nice looking booth girl getting attention, he spent the money on a nice sized booth, his table was full of different things like T-Shirts and what not.... but this is what happens when you're selling a product that's just not good.

And its situations just like this that sometimes put me at odds with a lot of the success principles that I've been learning over the passed few years. You're supposed to get as far away as you can from the naysayers. If people don't believe in what you're doing, you're not supposed to listen to them. Negative people will only drag you down, so go out there and live your dream, and all that jazz, right? Except that sometimes they're right.

There's a big difference between belittling someones dreams because you want to keep them down, or because you can't let them become more successful than you are, or whatever other reasons you can come up with, and the genuine warning that a real friend, and only a real friend, can offer.

If we're going to meet some ladies and your breath smells like my taint after a summer softball double header, its up to me to tell you about it. If you have a voice that sounds like someones skinning cats in a back alley behind a Chinese take out joint, and you're scheduled to appear on American Idol, then its my job to let you know what you're in for. If you've got a new man or woman in your life, and I've seen pictures of them online taking the hot lunch.... AND all of your friends think they're annoying and crazy and will ruin you.... guess what.....

So as much I do believe in positive thinking and perseverance, believing in what you do and all of that mess... you also have to know when you're backing the wrong horse.

Now, I could have made a splendid display a ripping this guy apart (I'm can be a real ass when I get my Irish up), just like I could have done a weeks worth of hysterical reviews of people that should never be dressed as Princess Leia in the slave outfit letting it all hang out..... but what would I really gain out of that? I'd effectively be destroying a good, though misguided, guy and his dream and given that gut wrenching twist that any of us with a conscious feels when we've hurt someone for no good reason; that sick feeling we get when we know we've done something really wrong.

Of course, I could have been a good media whore and done whatever I had to for new audience members. I could have blown this guy like a fluff girl at a gang bang so he'd tell everyone he knows how great I am.... but you all know how much I hate people that are full of it.... besides... to do so would not only cheapen the write ups I gave on the people, companies, and work that I really enjoyed... it would have cheapened everything that I have to say.

That's integrity, and its hard to keep, especially when you're up against it. But at the end of things, what else do we really have.

That doesn't mean I have to be nasty though. You know how the saying goes... if you've don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

Maybe I'm getting old. Or maybe I'm just getting soft. Possibly both. The truth is that I probably don't have a right to complain about anything bad that happens to me. If you've ever been standing on a corner on Queens Blvd and randomly got pelted with Wendy's burgers... yeah... you're welcome. And if you've been on a date on cold winter night.... and some ass soaked you with a full Big Gulp.... could have been me too. There was a time that I was a horrible human being...

What am I talking about, that still makes me laugh my ass off....

I'm a terrible person.

My post yesterday was talking about an awesome time we had, mostly at the expense of someone. And now I find myself caught between conflicting emotions. Yeah, that was great, so damn funny I don't have words for it. Yet at the same time, I think I can say for sure that every one of us at one time or another has gone to a party, let it all out, had a good time, only to find out later on that we completely embarrassed ourselves somehow. Everyones that ass sometime, right? Eh, maybe its just me. That's part of the reason I keep the manimal in the cage.... ever on the look out for the return of the ass!

Everyone of us has thought we made a real connection with someone, only to find out that it was the exact opposite, and they want to run as far from us as possible. Eh, maybe that's just me too, I don't know. That's a terrible feeling; its heartbreaking.

What I was going to say today, the point of all of this, was to remember that these people, the guy with the bad book, the nut job at the party.... well, they're people too. Imagine how you would feel if it were you in that position. It puts a whole different spin on the scenario doesn't it? If I have a strength at all these days its empathy, and that's born out of always trying to put myself in someone else's shoes, see things how they're seeing it, feel what they're feeling. Try it sometime, it'll change you for the better.

Of course.... I may have my stalker for the first time in years, so you have to find a way to tell someone. You can't keep having them ruin your parties or life stops being a party, you'll lose the reminders of how awesome life is. If your friends favorite Chinese Take Out has people skinning cats in the back alley, you should probably find a way to tell them that may be broccoli, but that aint chicken. And if they're putting all of their time, money, effort and dreams into a thing that will never catch on because it just completely sucks....

I just don't have the heart to hurt anyone these days. I've been there too many times myself to make someone else go through it too. Unless they're one of the "popular" people or "beautiful" people that have always crapped on the ones they deemed unworthy....

Those people make me LOVE showing just what an ASSHOLE I can be. Really.

But not when its a good person, no matter how crazy or misguided they may be.

But that doesn't mean they don't need help to find the right path. Myself included. So where's the balance? That's my question for the day. Hit me with your opinions, give me some answers.

Later People!

Join my fanpage John LaSota - Writer

Or our creative team's page The Mad Doser Presents

 

And if you need a healthy helping hand from a Personal Performance Consultant

Coach LaSota