Tapes or DVDs?

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

I hope that you all enjoyed (what you could see) of my first issue storyboard of “RoboPanda vs Zombie Dinosaurs” and don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll all be HUGE fans by the time that the real drawings come through… and I’m thinking that by Christmas 2015 your children will be BEGGING for the new array of toys, videos & bedding sets… but please keep in mind that you can’t put a price on your children’s happiness… and the proceeds go to a worthwhile cause… my retirement fund. Thank you! From the bottom of my heart, thank you!

Anyway, back in the present, spent most of the weekend not being sick… but not really exerting myself because the flu is going around & I wasn’t feeling it Friday night after work… which is really disappointing because I missed out on a party for some coworkers that are moving on to other careers. I really wanted to wish them well… but also didn’t want to get anybody sick. Congratulations you two!!! Other than that, I spent the weekend with Dizzy watching football, ironing out details for the comic book, planning the menu for Bacon Day: Part Deux next weekend & just enjoying each other. We also met up with some of her work friends for some drinks at Chevy’s to celebrate a 25^th birthday. Good times were had. I’m sure that all interests you… but I also watched some movies… so here are some reviews.

As you know, I have a soft spot for bad movies. I enjoy watching them sometimes… and I’m always curious about movies that critics completely pan even before seeing them (including myself). So Thursday night, I was going through the movie channels the last few days that I’m going to have TV… and I stumbled upon “Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance” starring Nicolas Cage. It’s the sequel to the Marvel Comics adaptation of “Ghost Rider” and you may recall it from an early Nicolas Cage update that it had so much going for it in the way of bad movies.

1) It was the sequel to a not-so-good original movie

2) Nicolas Cage desperately needs money… and his recent choices in acting gigs has confirmed it

3) Directed by the team Nevaldine & Taylor who brought you the likes of “Jonah Hex” & both “Crank” movies

4) Originally, the storyline was going to be Ghost Rider vs. Dracula… but that changed

5) Christopher Lambert (“Highlander”) made a cameo

The story goes that there is a mother & child being pursued by the Devil (Ciaran Hinds) and his henchmen (AJ from “Empire Records” no joke) and only the Rider (Cage) can protect them. Why are they being pursued? Well, as he put it in the movie “You’re the Devil’s baby mama…” and the story kinda goes from there. There are a LOT of scenes were it’s a mix of CGI transformations, Nic’s bad end of the “crazy-conflicted” spectrum & the usual death metal score that you get from the Nevaldine-Taylor combo. Now, based on the source material, the movie wasn’t absolutely horrible. The Ghost Rider story is very difficult to tell without a whole lot of CGI & questionable motivation and character development (see “Spawn”) but I wouldn’t really recommend this movie to anybody. Sorry Nic. I wish that I could help with your financial woes… but hey, maybe when RoboPanda takes off I can get you a gig as a voiceover to help.

Next up was the Syfy Channel’s “12 Disasters of Christmas” which stars… well, nobody. I think some of them were on WB series but… yeah, I didn’t really recognize anybody. Anyway, it’s set in small town Oregon I think… and there’s a family (conveniently named Joe, Mary, Peter & Jacey… yes, the daughter is Jacey as in JC, wait for it). There are some strange occurrences going on with birds dying, the water turning red, unusually warm weather, and then giant icicles falling from the sky & impaling people in the streets. Global warming? Possibly… no wait, WRONG! It’s the Mayan Prophecy coming true! By the way, did you know that the Mayans invented the song “12 Days of Christmas” and passed it along through the generations & all kinds of languages as a WARNING of the 12 disasters that would destroy the world? Oh it’s documented… the crazy old guy Frank had a whole wall chart made up connecting it… and there is a lineage of protectors that are direct descendants of Mayans (though now some of the whitest people you’ve ever seen thanks to cross-breeding) and they have to find five golden rings that will help save the world (or at least this small town in Oregon) from destruction by Mother Nature. I assume by calling forth Captain Planet and his magical mullet… but I don’t want to give away the surprise ending. Like most Syfy movies, it’s pretty horrible… but if you’re watching in a group, it’s descent to make fun of. Otherwise, forget that it even exists. Big thanks to The Soup for letting me know of this show’s existence.

Saturday night was actually a surprise. Dizzy & I watched “VHS” which is about a group of misfits who videotape their shenanigans (and crimes) to sell to voyeurs in that black market. Well, one of them hires them to break into a house to steal a particular video from the owners… but when they get to the house, there’s a bunch of them, so they have to cycles through them to find the right one… and what they find is a bunch of twisted sh*t. That’s the story… and basically, the movie is a collection of six horror movie concepts by various directors in the “found footage” genre that really would have been a MAJOR stretch for their own full-length feature… so they combine their 15-20 minute shorts into one film. What I was surprised about this movie… is how genuinely creepy some of them were on a shoe string budget. I was expecting it to be pretty cheesy… and I’ll admit, some of the acting was very questionable… but each story had it’s own redeeming quality & were very interesting ideas… except maybe the main story, but even that had it’s moments were it could’ve worked really well. Anyway, without giving too much away, I would say to check it out & judge for yourself. As a horror fan, I give it two thumbs up… and be warned, there is some gore… but overall, it’s a very decent flick. Check it out! It’s on Netflix!

Lastly was a documentary entitled “Jiro Dreams of Sushi” about Jiro, the world’s premiere 3-Michelin star sushi chef who has been doing the job that he loves for over 70 years. The camera crew follows him through his daily routine, other chefs at his restaurant, his family, his friends, food critics, etc. & paints a portrait of this intriguing man. To boil it down, Jiro is a perfectionist who loves sushi. Every waking moment he’s honing his skills to make perfect sushi… and as the title would imply, even during his non-waking moments, he’s dreaming of it. He accepts nothing but the best in every stage of preparation. He only buys fish from masters of their respective crafts (tuna, shrimp, octopus, etc). His chefs are meticulously trained for decades before he’ll allow them to prepare sushi for his guests (a ten-seat restaurant). Even his sons have been learning from him for over 40 years (youngest went off to start his own sushi restaurant & oldest is waiting for Jiro to retire to take head spot). Is it the borderline-obsessive goal of his entire life? Yeah, pretty much… but you be the judge. The man loves what he does. He’s focused on becoming the master of his craft & to push it to the next level… every day… for over 70 years. Some may say it’s crazy. Perhaps those people are not perfectionists & have not found the Passion that he has. I’d recommend checking out this documentary. It’s very interesting… but be warned… you’ll want to go have sushi during & afterwards… so you may want to watch on a full stomach.

It may also make you wonder about your own situation. For example, I’ve been in an industry for over 12 years now. I’ve essentially mastered my specific craft (hence why I can do so many jobs for the pay of one) but have I been “pushing” the craft forward? There have been instances where I’ll see procedures & improve upon them… share ideas with my colleagues with different sets of circumstances for their office… but am I constantly looking forward at the next step? Or have I grown complacent with my position because it’s easier than looking on to the next step, which would require sacrifices? Is this what I want to do for 70+ years (shiver) or until retirement age anyway? Is it my Passion? Is the fact that I’m even asking these questions convincing proof that it is not? Is there something different out there for me? That I would be more passionate about? Or am I just too level headed to put my all into something & widen my range of talents to be a Jack of all trades kind of person?

The saying goes that if you Love what you do, then you’ll never work a day in your life… or something like that… and there’s a few ways of looking at it. Does that mean that you have to find something that you Love to do? Or is it just on you to Love whatever it is that you’re doing? In either case, I guess the saying still holds true… but let’s face it, most of us would probably find it easier to Love being a movie star than a coal miner. Or I guess in a real world sense, let’s say you enjoy being physically fit… and your current job as a construction worker helps you to do that (as long as you don’t get a hernia). Do you just learn to Love being a construction worker? Study in the evenings & work your way to foreman & push your craft? Or do you study to become a personal trainer so you get that same benefit that you’re looking for, but it’s more recreational & you’re basically the master of your own unique craft?

Now, I’m sure you know by now that I tend to think too much for my own good & ramble incessantly… and of course not everybody’s priorities are the same. Some are focused on raising their children, making money any way possible, just getting by & getting high, cross things off their bucket list, seeing the world, continuing the family legacy, whatever it may be… not becoming yokozuna or a legend of the wood carving community or any other master of their given craft… and that’s perfectly fine. However, I do feel that life needs a little direction with goals to continue to grow & thrive. With that being said, that’s another reason why I’m REALLY excited about this new venture with this comic. I’m not an expert by any means… I’ve read a few back in my childhood… I’ve seen a lot of TV shows & movies… read about other people’s characters basically… but I’m not an artist. I have no official training in storyboarding, plotting, structure, or really ANYTHING related to drawing. Yeah, I won a few Reflections contests back in 2^nd & 3^rd grade… but yeah, that was drawing dinosaurs & weird alien creatures… in the 3^rd grade. So how is this going to work? I’m going to research, study, practice, calibrate, collaborate, peat, re-research, re-study, re-practice, re-calibrate & collaborate some more… and of course, repeat. Am I going to have all the skills? Probably not… but if I surround myself in the right people, use what I’ve learned, along with my own ingenuity & spin on things, then I’ll probably be off to a good start. Anyway, that’s the plan… for now. It’ll definitely change… but I can keep you posted…

I’ll also try to figure out how to get REAL pictures on Blogger again. Apparently the “new & improved” version really isn’t improved… but I’m sure it works for them. Have a great day everybody!!!

LET'S go RAIders!!!

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

It’s been a busy few weeks… but it’s leading up to the Utah vacation… and of course, Bacon Day before that. By the way, apparently the Academy of Science has read my posts and is trying to steal my thunder mere days before my event… but I called dibs, b**ches! That’s why my event is going to be even grander… just without dinosaur bones & bio-domes. Let’s see what’s been happening…

I’m sure you don’t want to hear about my job… and frankly, I don’t wanna talk about it… but it’s been taking up a long of my day as you might expect. In the evenings, we had a test run on Bacon Day last Tuesday and sampled five of the features… bacon wrapped jalapeno poppers (cheddar filled), bacon wrapped red pepper & garlic sausages, BLT, bacon grilled cheese… and a small version of… DA BOMB!!! Basically it’s Italian sausage mixed with cheddar, chives & various other ingredients, weaved in bacon strips, covered in a BBQ rub & BBQ sauce, slow cooked over a few hours… and then covered in sauce again… BEHOLD!!!

All were delicious and fantastic… and most other nights was catching up on TV and playing the video game that my brother sent me “Assassin’s Creed Revelations” which is the latest in the AC series, this time set in Constantinople (pre-Istanbul) around 1510 AD or so. I REALLY enjoy the series… and anxiously await AC3 coming this Halloween set in the American Colonies circa 1775. Anyway, for those who may have not played these games before… the story is modern day people are using a machine that can relive an individual’s ancestral memories in a virtual reality environment. So like if you went back a few generations, you could theoretically live out your great-great-grandpa banging your great-great-grandma… but when they were both teenagers. Obviously that’s not the use they put it to into this game, rather they go back into the memories of a bartender, whose lineage includes assassins back to the time of the Crusades (original game) and they’ve been trying to find answers to the location of some powerful objects that could shape the fate of the world. So that’s the story… as for the gameplay, it’s pretty amazing with how your character can jump and move about the city environments… and the detail of the environments if really good too. It’s kind of one of those things that you’d have to play to understand (or I’m just a sh**ty writer) but I highly recommend it.

Over the weekend, I hung out with Dizzy… and get this, my ladyfriend had one goal this weekend… and that was to watch “Showgirls” with her gentlemanfriend. How many guys out there can say that? Allow me to elaborate before you inquire about my ladyfriend having a penis. You may or may not know this… but Dizzy is a HUGE fan of comedian Adam Carolla (again, she doesn’t have a penis, I’ve checked extensively) that you may remember from “The Man Show”, “Drawn Together”, “Family Guy” or maybe the world’s most successful podcast. Well, he has this thing that he does called “Basic Cable Commentary” where he & a few guest comedians watch movies that they saw on basic cable (others include “The Karate Kid Part 3” & “Road House”) and basically watch them with the microphones on… and have hilarious comments. Basically it’s like watching bad movies with your buddies… if your buddies also happened to be millionaire celebrities with fixations for classic cars. Anyway, one of these commentaries was for the classic horrible movie “Showgirls” starring Elizabeth Berkeley & Kyle McLachlan… and the commentary featured Adam and comedian Dana Gould portrayal of PBS legend Hule Howser (if you don’t know how that is… google him, he’s the host of “California’s Gold”). Ergo, she wanted to watch it with me… and Adam… and Hule. Good times were had… and I had almost forgotten how horrible a movie it really is… especially the last ten minutes. By the way, you may be privy to a similar concept of commentary one day when I watch bad movies with the roommates… or maybe another entry in my live football commentary… you’ve been warned.

Saturday, after a breakfast of donuts, we headed to Oakland Coliseum (aka O.co Coliseum… or as I prefer, the Big O) to see the Oakland football Raiders host the Detroit “Why is you” Lions in a preseason showdown of biblical importance (to atheists). Thanks to StubHub we got some pretty fantastic tickets on the 10^th row right behind the Lions bench for about $20 a pop… and with the Lions being Dizzy’s favorite team (you thought I was a glutton for punishment with the Eagles) we had a pretty good time… and the game was even pretty decent. Interesting little tidbits of the game: The only Pro Bowlers on the Raiders for the past decade or so have been their kickers & they’ve been hands down the best in the league. However, punter Shane Lechler is… I don’t know… 54 years old now? And I think that Polish sports icon Sebastian Janikowski’s heavy drinking may finally be catching up with him because he missed a fairly easy kick in the first quarter… almost making him look mortal. Then they brought out this new kid Carmona who just before the half hit a 58 yarder from the dirt of the 2^nd base line (still baseball season so the dirt was out) so that reign of supreme kickers may not be coming to a close quite yet… and that’s a good thing because aside from backup quarterback / disgraced Ohio State alum Terrell Pryor having a few big runs in the second half, there wasn’t a whole lot to get excited about… but then again, it’s the preseason… and beer helps with excitement. WOOOO!!!

After the game, we had some pizza at Albany Pizza Company (decent pizza & giant slices and a soda for $5) then watched “Hidalgo” starring Viggo Mortensen. Now, this was one of my dad’s favorite movies… and he watched it a lot when I had first moved out into my first lone wolf apartment a few years back… but I had never sat down & watched it with him. It was actually pretty good. From director Joe Johnston (specializes in period action pieces like “The Rocketeer”, “Captain America” & “Wolfman”) comes the true story of a man (Mortenson) who joins Buffalo Bill Cody’s wild west show after the destruction of his mother’s Sioux tribe… and is basically in a bad place… but with a good horse named Hidalgo & apparently he can ride with the best of them and has never lost a long-distance race. Well, an Arab noble graces one of these shows… and basically says American horses are sh*t & can never ride with Arabians… which I’m no horse expert, but may very well be true. It might be like the Saudi Arabian national basketball team going against any average American high school team for all I know, but in reverse. Regardless, it’s the setting for an underdog story… so they go to this 3000-mile, two-month long race across the barren asscrack of the world known as the Arabian desert… and you throw in a few plot twists, Bob’s your uncle, and you’ve got yourself a flick. I liked it. Check it out if you want.

Fun fact: We were at the local video store picking out a few selections for the weekend… and I wanted to share the delight of the wonderful comedy “Hamlet 2” that I’ve shared with you repeatedly. Now… I couldn’t find it in the comedy section, which you know, maybe they just didn’t have it because it wasn’t really advertised much & probably grossed enough to cover Elizabeth Shue’s nurse outfit. So Dizzy asked the checkout guy… and it was in… wait for it… The William Shakespeare section. Yes ladies & gentlemen… Hamlet 2… which has an entire act of the movie entitled “Hope is a Demon Bitch” was located right between the original Hamlet & Midsummer Night’s Dream. I thought it was hilarious. Wanna know what else was hilarious?

Something titled “Midgets vs. Mascots” has laughs written all over it just as a concept. Well, this movie is basically what you would expect… starring the likes of the late great Gary Coleman and he’s referred to as “The Shaquille O’Neal of Little People” so that should tell you right there it’s pretty good. Basically it’s a mockumentary about a deceased millionaire named Big Red and during the reading of his will, his money is to be distributed through a competition of his fellow little people… versus his fellow mascots… coached by his bratty douche son & gold digger wife… oh and did I mention that Big Red was a midget mascot? Surprise! Anyway, it goes from there… and yeah, just check it out if you can find it. Ron Jeremy is in it… and he’s never starred in anything that sucked… well, that sucked the bad way. HEDGEHOG!!!

Anyway, that’s pretty much it. Bacon Day is this Saturday… and pictures will be forthcoming… along with the family reunion in Utah immediately after. So yeah… have a great weekend everybody!!! Deuces!

Disneyland with Kids

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Been catching up since my five days away in beautiful Southern California… and now you get blessed with pictures of my adventures. Thursday at work was busy… but the drive to Anaheim was pretty quick & uneventful. I made the drive in just under six hours, stopping for gas once & basically eating a bag of bbq pork jerky in about an hour. I really don’t eat healthy on vacations. That night, my brother & I had our own room at the hotel so we watched a little TV and caught up on this & that before I called it a night.

Friday was Day One of Disneyland! We woke up, met up with my mom, stepdad, niece Kairi & nephew Vinny… and went through the park. I’ve been to Disneyland a few times in my life… and it’s always pretty fun… but this time was REALLY fun because I got to hang with my niece & nephew… and everything is just so magical through their eyes that you get sucked up into it too. When they went off for their naps, my brother & I would go on the big kid rides but yeah, it was just the usual good times at Disneyland. Here are some pictures…

Saturday & Sunday it warmed up a little bit… but we still managed to have fun, just got exhausted. Saturday we had lunch with the princesses at Ariel’s Grotto (not quite as hot as it sounds… but not bad for G-rated). Basically you have lunch and the Disney princesses go from table to table to take pictures with the kids… and of course, Princess Kairi was so excited that she wasn’t really eating… just staring in amazement at all the princesses. She would whisper “Uncle $teve. There’s Aurora!” “Who?” “Aurora.” “Oh, Sleeping Beauty… very nice… hey, eat your spaghetti sweetie. Wait until she comes over here.” Anyway, good times… and the kids had a LOT of fun. More pictures…

Sunday night after day three in Disneyland, we headed to Newport Coast (from my 29th birthday road trip) and set up shop at the hotel there for the next few days. This time, the kids & I shared a room and we did a few activities at the hotel like tie dye shirts, making play-do, etc but we also went to the beach so that they could play in the water & I took them tide pool searching. Even found a few couple really nice sea shells for them to take home (bigger than I ever found without ‘em, thanks King Triton!!!). Alas, more pictures…

Tuesday, I said my good byes around 2:30 as I wanted to start heading back before rush hour. Heck, I was missing those guys before I made it out of the parking lot… but a playa’s gotta do what a playa’s gotta do. Besides, I’m sure I’ll see them again shortly. Especially since anytime they really want to see their Uncle $teve, they have a PS3 at dad’s AND grandma’s that they can talk to me on. Good times!

Wednesday was a busy catch-up day at work… but in the evening, I met up with Dizzy & Batgirl (see below for her new Lego Batcave by the way) and we watched a few episodes of “Captain Power & the Soldiers of the Future” and then followed it up with the promised “TROLL 2”!!! So… I’ve already built it up with how bad it is… and it’s all that & more… but let me drop the plot for you real quick. A family goes on a little month-long house swap vacation to enjoy the country in the city of Nilbog (Heber, Utah apparently). Oh… and the little boy has visions of his dead grandpa. Did I forget that? Because it’s kind of important. Anyway, strange things start happening… and the ghost of his grandpa tells him about these evil goblins (not trolls) and that they’re all in danger. Then people start disappearing & blah blah blah… ok, so I REALLY don’t want to spoil this movie for you… and I simply INSIST that you go see it for yourself. It’s one of those movies that’s so horrible that it’s actually quite amazing in its mere existence… you know, like “Plan 9 from Outer Space” or “Astro Zombies” or something like that. Watch it with your friends! Then you’ll have amazing inside jokes to tell one another about pissing on hospitality, all the modern conveniences, goblin jiz… and my personal favorite… CORN-GASM!!! Please… just watch the show. You’ll thank me for it.

Anyway, that should do it for today. Hope that you all enjoyed the pictures… and sorry I’ve been a little busy to keep you posted on my adventures… but I’ll get the hang of it eventually… hopefully. Have a great day everybody!!!