Hard As Steel & Still Gettin' Harder

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Friday night, the Parliament Funkadelic and their prime minister of funk relations, Mr. George Clinton rocked Yoshi's Jazz Club... and funked with many a mind. Not only that, I think they've done 7-8 shows since Thursday there... and even Bubbles got in on the action Saturday night. The concert was great, though a little shorter than the last time when it was just a single show... but that makes a little sense since they were doing two a night. This time, I even got a complimentary upgrade to a table... but that didn't last long as about ten minutes into the show, I was up on the dance floor and shaking what my mother gave me.

Now, I'm REALLY thinking about going to Lake Tahoe the last weekend of this month... because Steve Miller Band is playing at Montbleu on July 30th... and it'd really help if I could convince some people to go with me. You know... because gas is expensive unless you cut it in half... and then it's just ridiculous. I will keep you posted... as I do miss Lake Tahoe... especially in the summer... and I've yet to make it up there... and maybe I'll meet up with my stepsister and her family for a bit. See, they were in Utah this past 4th of July week so I just missed them... and I know the kids miss their Uncle $teve. How could they not? I'm the bee's knees. Besides, it's only right that I go see this show... as for the first few months when I was living in Tahoe, Steve Miller Band was pretty much the only thing in Gretchen's CD player. "Nooorthern California where the girls are warm..." yeah, it's just a great CD for driving around up there. Anyway, I'll keep you posted.

Saturday, I basically spent the entire morning at the gym... and yes, even after funkin' out to P-Funk the night before, because I'm gonna look like Jesus and still eat what I want dammit. Played a little basketball, though not my best by any stretch of the imagination, but I'll get back into it. Did a little jogging on the machine, lifted some weights, you know the drill. Also trying to do more cooking... so I cooked some tikka masala chicken on rice, hard boiled some eggs (for protein breakfast so that my guns POP), and stocked the pantry for some future adventures. Pretty boring stuff, I know...

So I rented a few movies that you might like... like "Battle: Los Angeles" starring Aaron Eckhart & Michelle Rodriguez. For those who didn't see the previews, this is basically the same story as "Skyline" (which sucked & was released around the same time) but it follows a retiring staff sargeant (Eckhart) who is immediately called back into service because... the coasts of several major cities around the world are being invaded by aliens. Why? Watch the movie... but it's what any war is really about... whether extraterrestrial or domestic... resources. The staff sargeant & his crew are sent on a mission into the battlefield to rescue civilians from a police station... and that's when the action really starts. Now... I could bog you down with the MANY inconsistencies of the story, editing, etc. involved while watching this movie... but it actually wasn't that bad. Ten times better than "Skyline" was... so yeah, give it a chance if that's your thing. I liked it.

Next up was "I Am Number Four" starring Timothy Olyphant & Alex Pettyfer. Now, I know that a whole lot of the appeal of this movie... was that nobody really knew what it was about... you know, like "Super 8" & "Cloverfield" that whole JJ Abrams type marketing that's now being used... but basically the movie is about these aliens that came down to Earth to hide from other evil aliens... but the evil aliens have found them here on Earth and are killing them off... apparently in numerical order which I didn't totally grasp... but hey, maybe it's like a interstellar game of 9-ball or something. Oh yes, Galactic Billiards. Google it. Anyway, the first three are dead... and now Number Four (Pettyfer) and his handler (Olyphant) are being chased... as they have been their whole lives... but now Number Four is in love with this cute girl that he met at high school... and there's bullies... and he doesn't want to run anymore... and he has these new super powers... and it kind of turns into "Twilight" meets "Highlander" or something but all in all, it was actually a pretty decent show. It's set up for sequels... so we'll see if those happen... but obviously you can't go with "I Am Number Four... Two" or something like that... so it'll probably be "Who is Number Five?" to which I reply... "Johnny Five is Alive!" It was a stretch... but I seem to remember there being talks of a "Short Circuit" reboot somewhere so... come on, Hollywood! What the f**k?

Lastly for the evening was another random Netflix selection while watching with my roommate Bee Master. Occasionally we'll just glance through the Netflix selections... and find something that just has to be seen. The other day, it was "Parking Wars" a reality show about meter maids... in other cities where the fines are about a quarter of what they are here in San Francisco. We watched an episode... and then looked for more. Something... Mystery Science Theatre 3000 worthy.

Then we stumbled upon it... a synopsis that totally toyed with my Ten Things That'll Make Me Watch Your Movie... and just a few more titilating words that peaked my interest. Please read it very careful... and tell me that you're not intrigued. "For devilishly mad "astro-scientist" Dr. DeMarco, a typical day involves run-ins with reanimated corpses, bloodthirsty solar-powered killer robot zombies, Chinese communist spies and vicious Mexican secret agents." You simply must watch this movie, right? Then... you look at the poster for it... and it looks like Jason from Friday the 13th in a leisure suit with a machete in one hand... and a hot blonde in a mini skirt in the other... oh, you MUST watch this movie.

So we watched 1969's "Astro Zombies" starring... some people. Let me tell you... from the opening scene... this movie was just... incredible to watch. I believe the writers of this flick basically made a 20 minute movie... and then through the magic of editing, overexposition and just drawing out every possible thing (much like I would honestly do in a horror flick if I made it) they turned it into a 90 minute masterpiece of mockable fun. There's non-sensical plots, hot nurses, random b**ch slaps, knives deterring gun fights for some reason, overuse of the word "Doctor" like I'm watching "Spies Like Us" as a kid again, naked girls dancing for some reason, random shifts between day & night, the worst policemen EVER, a big breasted woman who likes to show a little inner thigh before she puts a cap in your ass, and you'll never guess who are the Chinese communists spies... and who are the vicious Mexican secret agents. Spoiler hint: Don't believe the poncho! Truly a marvelous evening of satirical movie watching. I'd gladly watch it again... but not alone. It's one of those movies to be shared with friends. Because otherwise, they won't believe that this movie is real.

Anyway, this morning was more gym... and now I've got laundry to do... then maybe swing over to Golden Gate Park for some SF Symphony. We shall see. The day is young. Have a great day everybody!!! Let me know if you're interested in a road trip to Lake Tahoe in a few weeks.