This guy escaped from the Central Park Zoo the other day to perch himself up on a 5th floor window in Manhattan. Don't be the only one left on the block. Come hide with the herd and float with the flock....
I can't say what's going on with me, but I've been a special kind of asshole lately, snapping for no reason, getting on people's asses, it's not good. Whatever it is I constantly have to remind myself that it could always be worse. Now, I am a certified life coach and NLP practitioner, so I've done countless hours of research on positive thinking and all of that, and I do believe in it to an extent, but part of that is also appreciating what you have. Years ago I had gotten majorly depressed and lost about 35 pounds in a 2 week span, probably could have gotten really sick. What got me out of it was watching episodes of Party of Five, where every week Charlie got ball cancer or Neve Campbell got pregnant by some random stranger... or Scott Wolf found himself torn between smoking hot Amanda Beckett (Jennifer Love HugeTits) or that little boy he's had his eye on, and listening to The Cure over and over again.
Of course, if any of my buddies had come down into my basement dungeon apartment at the time and seen what I was up to they would have burned me on that. "Dude, what the fuck are you watching? And who the hell is crying on the radio? No wonder you want to kill yourself!" Still though, every week I would look at those people and say to myself, shit, it could always be worse... I could have ball cancer. And it's been a philosophy I've tried (though not always successfully) to keep in mind as I bang through life's daily bullshit.
That Lacy Chabert got really
fuckin hot, huh?
Speaking of being that special kind of asshole, I was watching chicks fight again last night, MMA this time, if you can call it that. This one had a really hot body, and kept getting into these ridiculous positions that made you want to grab your shit. But every time she picked her head up her face looked like Warwick Davis.
I can't say there's anything about the idea of banging Willow that gets me hard. Could you imagine being in the middle of it with her, she looks up at you, lust in her eyes screaming "You ARE great!". I wouldn't know whether to shit or wind my watch.
But no matter what you're going through you always have to think about the things that you do have, and if that still has you sitting on the couch with your head in your hands like the Great Al Birdy crying "Oh God, I can't wake up!" remember... you could always be this guy!
And if that doesn't work just be happy that you don't have ball cancer. And if you DO have ball cancer, just be happy that it's not cock cancer. And if you've got cock cancer, accentuate the positive...
"Ah shit dude, you got Cock Cancer? That fucking sucks"
"Maybe so, but look of the SIZE of this thing now"
You see, it's just one big world of shit, and we're all wrapped up in it. There aint nobody clean! So it's all about making the best of a shitty situation, like this guy
Or maybe that's a woman, I can't tell. But it's a nice sunny day, she's got herself a seat in the shade, relaxing, and enjoying herself a beer. What more could a fella possibly want out of life? But if that's not enough for you, you're day can't possibly be worse than this guy's in the video you're about to watch and absolutely HAVE to see...
All I can say is better him than me. Shit, I don't know about you, but my day just got a whole hell of a lot better.
Special thanks to Scotty and Robinson for all of your help with today's post. As my closest friend from college so beautifully put it... you'll always be that special kind of asshole to me!
Don't be the only one left on the block
Hide with the herd
Float with the flock
Later people!
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