BSNCY Friday Fun Quiz!

It's autumn in New York. The leaves are cool and crisp, the air is a brilliant red and gold, and the rats are wearing adorable little sweaters in a manner that simultaneously turns your stomach and warms your heart. But for cyclists, autumn means only one thing:

It's smuglocross season!

If you're looking to engage in some smuglocross this weekend, be sure to see the film "With My Own Two Wheels" this Sunday at Lincoln Center:

Details on the screening are here, and additionally the filmmaker has asked me to share the following information:

We are also doing an informal pre-screening ride from from the Brooklyn War Memorial in Cadman Plaza to Lincoln Center: roughly the distance that a student in Zambia has to commute to school every day. The ride departs at noon, and bike parking will be provided at Lincoln Center. We will have a specially-designed bike from World Bicycle Relief on hand for people to take turns riding, and SRAM and World Bicycle Relief founder FK Day will be in attendance.

Now that's some smuglocross. By the way, if the distance seems too daunting, I've been assured the ride will be making "guilt stops" every couple of blocks during which you will be upbraided for your life of Western privilege by a qualified World Bicycle Relief guilt administrator.

If that's not enough smuglocross for you, how about taking part in a "crowdsourced documentary" about cargo bikes?



As a proud (by which I mean smug) Big Dummy rider, I'm actually tempted to create my own "edit" and submit it to the project. At the moment, I'm leaning towards converting my Big Dummy to a "fixie," removing the brakes, and doing some "hillbombing" with a helmetless child and six full bags of Trader Joe's groceries.

Of course, if smugness is not your bag of organic groceries, then maybe you'd be interested in yet another pointless "collabo" bike:

Sure, it can't really carry all that much, and sure it's not really helping anybody in need, and sure it's just a brown hybrid with some gratuitous bags on it, but the bike does have the ability to promote numerous brands at once as well as the capacity to "portage" a single t-shirt:

Cannondale's Michael DeLeon tells us that, in order to create the Junk Food version of their Bad Boy bike, the team spent two weeks meticulously stripping the black finish and removing every spoke from the rims, for a clean, detailed, matte-green repaint. Junk Food also designed the leather saddle bag—made to hold a rolled-up tee—and the tool bag gracing the bike frame that easily converts into a shoulder bag.

That's right, two whole weeks of meticulous stripping. Now that's what I call epic.

With that, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right you'll experience a profound sense of happiness not unlike what you'd experience riding a cargo bike or helping a Zambian studient, and if you're wrong you'll see "cycle chic" American style.

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and beware of falling leaves.

--Wildcat Rock Machine





1) "ABSOLUTE NO!" Mark "The Man Missile" Cavendish refuses to wear:

--White shorts

--Black shorts

--Half shorts

--Bib shorts

2) "ABSOLUTE NO!" Mario Cipollini refuses to wear:

--Pants

--Underpants

--A prophylactic device

--All of the above

3) Portland cyclists were recently sabotaged by means of:

--Severed brake cables

--Thumbtacks in the bike lane

--Perforated fenders

--The old "Stumptown/Folger's switcharoo"

4) A Utah man was recently arrested for smuggling which piece of contraband inside his bicycle?

--A pound of marijuana

--$20,000 in counterfeit bills

--Thousands of Viagra tablets and a single live hamster

--A samurai sword

5) This is a walk-behind bakfiets.

--True

--False

6) Feelin' the need for:

--Speed

--Weed

--Tweed

--Artisanal mayo

7) This bike is a:

--Pacific
--Mongoose
--Huffy
--White Extremist

***Special Ultimate Commuter-Themed Bonus Question***

The ultimate commuting frame material is:

--Distressed steel
--Disguised crabon
--Discolored aluminum
--Disgusting bamboo