Soccer Gets Interesting

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

The countdown to the holidays has officially begun. Halloween was awesome… and now we are well into the month of November with Thanksgiving next week. So many big events coming up though.

Saturday, Dizzy & I are going to see Adam Lakers Carolla do a live podcast… and we got front row tickets. Dizzy is kind of obsessed with him… and it might be wearing off on me a little bit, but I’m a G, so I hooked her up. What I’m assuming will happen is we go see the show, laugh our asses off, meet him afterwards when he’s selling his swag, have him sign a few books, maybe a bottle of Mangria, invite him & his buddies over to watch football on my WALL OF AWESOME Sunday, have the time of our lives getting sh*t-faced with “The Hammer” over bacon and beer induced goodness & he basically invites us out to LA to watch the Super Bowl with him & Jimmy Kimmel. “Can’t do, Adam… cuz I’m going to be AT the Super Bowl.” “DAMN! You roll hard! I understand though… anytime you’re in LA, mi casa es su casa, $teve!” “Likewise. See ya around playa!” New best friends. You know… the typical thing that happens at these shows, right? I’ll keep you posted.

Next week, Jackie D is finally making her triumphant return to the Bay Area for her birthday trip! You remember Vegas last year, right? Good… cuz I don’t recall much. What happened? Anyway, she’s going to come out for a few days… and we honestly really don’t even have anything planned per se… but sh*t always gets fun when Jackie D & Mookie Love are in the same city. BALL SO HARD!!!

Next Saturday, Dizzy & I are going to see Sir Richard Cheese & Lounge Against the Machine live & on stage at Bimbo’s. This is Dizzy’s first time seeing the Cheese… and will be my 3^rd. I also kind of get her obsessed on his swankified awesomeness… so it’ll be good for all. If you haven’t seen him in concert yet… go check it out if you can. Warning: He doesn’t do many shows… but at least check out his music & see if it’s worth the trip. It was when the Wingman & I went to Vegas!!!

After that, it’ll basically get into the time I should start thinking about getting presents for people for Christmas. At times like this, I wish I was crafty… or could get away with making pictures with macaroni & glue like I did back in the day. Instead, I have to be both thoughtful AND loaded to get good gifts. I also tend to give away a lot more (and better) gifts than I get in return… but that may just be because I’m a f**king sucker & put too much thought in it. Maybe this year will be the year of the Starbucks card… or the Christmas card with a picture of me & the family (me with no shirt on). Oh, I’ve got a few good ones already taken care of… but there’s still a few to go. Oh well, I’ll figure it out… or I won’t. See how dedicated I am? HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!

You know… it’s been a while since I blessed you guys with some news… so let’s talk about strippers!

Tits of Tots! – So… this morning, I got an email from one of my favorite websites www.sffuncheap.com which is where I get a lot of info about some of the cool festivals & activities that you get to hear me blabber on about on this blog. I’m strolling through their weekly update… and I see something that… I have to read several times to make sure that I’m reading it correctly & it’s not some early morning grogginess. Basically, there’s a gentlemen’s club in SOMA called The Gold Club… and tonight, they’re offering an open bar & hors d’ouevres from 8 PM to 10 PM… and when you donate a children’s toy, you’ll receive a complimentary lapdance from one of the lovely ho ho hoes. Now, there is the stipulation that each toy must be valued at about $20 (so no showing up with a bunch of crap you bought at Chinatown for a dollar to exchange), but I think this… is basically one of the greatest holiday ideas EVER!!! Think about it… the patrons are receiving the human contact that they so desperately desire, the girls are providing a service to the community to help needy children enjoy their Christmas, the owners are getting a nice tax write-off on their establishment, since they’re not considered an establishment of the arts (though several people are taking that to the Supreme Court). Everybody wins! That’s not the only way that strippers are continuing to save the world either…

FINALLY! Soccer can be interesting! - Greeks are giving the oldest profession a whole new meaning to love of the game. Players on a cash-strapped soccer team now wear pink practice jerseys with the logos "Villa Erotica" and "Soula's House of History," two bordellos it recruited as sponsors after drastic government spending cuts in Greece left the country's sports clubs facing ruin. By the way, if you don’t know just how bad the economy is in Greece, please do yourself a favor and read a few articles about it. It’s pretty horrible. Anyway, other teams have also turned to unconventional financing. One has a deal with a local funeral home and others have wooed kebab shops, a jam factory and producers of Greece's trademark feta cheese. Yes, these sponsors run from the hilarious to borderline racist… but the amateur Voukefalas club - whose players include pizza delivery guys, students, waiters and a bartender (I smell a sitcom) - has raised eyebrows with its flamboyant sponsorship choice. "Unfortunately, amateur football has been abandoned by almost everyone," said Yiannis Batziolas, the club's youthful chairman, who also runs a travel agency AND is the team's backup goalkeeper. "It's a question of survival." Prostitution is legal in Greece, where brothels operate under strict guidelines (as they should be). Though garish neon signs advertising their services are tolerated, the soccer sponsorship has ruffled some feathers in the sports-mad city of Larissa. League organizers have banned the pink jerseys during games, saying the deal violates "the sporting ideal" and is inappropriate for underage fans (who pay half price for tickets & don’t help beer sales anyway, so f**k em!). Batziolas acknowledges the sponsorship took his team by surprise. "They didn't believe it in the beginning. But when they saw the shirts printed, they thought it was funny." Near-bankrupt Greece is struggling to meet creditors' relentless demands to slash spending and keep the euro as its currency. As Greece heads toward a sixth year of recession, drastic budget cuts have hammered many ordinary people: Retirees have been left to cover their own medical expenses, children have lost school bus services, and sports teams have scrambled to find sponsors as businesses close under the burden of emergency taxes.

Brothel owner Soula Alevridou, the team's new benefactor, has already paid more $1,312 for players to wear her jerseys (yes… her… the madame of the House of History). The team is appealing the game ban, but that doesn't worry the 67-year-old Alevridou, who says she's only in it because she loves soccer… and the pimp game. "It's not the kind of business that needs promotion," she said, dressed all in white and flanked by two young women in dark leggings at a recent game. "It's a word-of-mouth kind of thing." Her businesses, plushly decorated pastel-colored bungalows where 14 women are employed, have weathered the country's financial disaster far better than most, and she readily acknowledges her success. "If we don't help our scientists and athletes, where will we be? Greece has educated people, cultured people and good athletes. It's better to help them than take our money to Switzerland." Alevridou watched in disappointment as her team lost its fourth straight game, 1-0, despite her promise to players of "a special time" at her businesses if they won. "There's a lot still missing. We have no midfield," said Alevridou, a slightly built woman with a husky voice. "Many of our boys have jobs that keep them working at night… and if we have a game the following morning, they can't have a real presence on the pitch. ... They need more help." And unfortunately the “special time” probably wouldn’t help. They aren't the only team suffering. Greece's Amateur Athletics Federation suspended all its activities for several weeks earlier this year to protest funding cuts. And even the major soccer clubs sent most of their star players abroad this summer in the face of financial trouble and poor attendance, with fans no longer able to afford tickets. Government cuts have hurt most of the teams in the amateur league in Larissa - the majestically named Olympus, Hercules, Fearless and Sagittarius clubs, as well as Voukefalas, named after Alexander the Great's horse (really?). The impact of the crisis on sports is a major local concern. The town of 200,000 fielded the only professional club to ever break big-city domination of the league, winning the national championship in 1988. In 2007, Larissa FC also rebounded from bankruptcy for victory in the prestigious Greek Cup. Voukefalas says it needs about $13,120 a year to meet expenses, and Alevridou has promised more cash. "Here is where it all begins, with amateur sport. It's where the talent is bred. I am a Greek woman, and I love my country." She watched quietly, holding a cigarette and wearing a straw fedora with a leopard print band, as her team struggled. "The team will get better. I'm certain of it." By God, I love this woman’s passion! We should have more entrepreneurs like her! Can you imagine Larry Flynt being an owner of a professional football team? The Las Vegas Hustlers? Now, this is coming from a fan of Lingerie Football League AND the WNBA… but obviously for different reasons than you’re probably thinking… I like my sports. Sure, we’ve got mega bazillionaires that own most of the major sports teams… but what about all the struggling amateur leagues that just need a few grand for uniforms? What about a San Francisco semi-pro league with sponsors from Google to the Gold Club? Maybe I’ve found a new project…

Anyway, that’ll wrap it up for tonight. Looking forward to a fantastic week ahead… and I hope that you are too. Have a great night everybody!!!