This Just In: It's a Three-Day Weekend! (For Me!)

Hey Dudes!

Remember this song, dudes?  If so you're both aging and a dork.

I owned the whole album, on cassette for added coolness.

Anyway dudes, first I want to let you know that I won't be posting stuff on this blog tomorrow (Friday).

Because I'm heading down to Washington, DC:

To say a few words and sign copies of my new book, "Bike Snob Abeard:"

So, if you're in DC or you plan to be there this weekend, please come to BicycleSPACE on Saturday, April 20th, at 6:00pm:

There will be:

--Foppish finery from Brooks!
--Blather from me!
--Gin, which will exude from your pores the following morning!
--Music from Sligo Creek Stompers, pioneers of a new musical genre called "Straight-Edge Death Klezmer!"

I hope to see you there, and if not I'll see you back here on this blog on Monday, April 22nd, still reeking of gin.

Speaking of Brooks, you may notice they have an ad over there in the right-hand margin, and you may also notice from that ad that they're inviting 100 riders to test their new "Cambium" saddle, which is 100% cow-free:

(Listen closely and you'll hear bovine sighs of relief.)

Here's more information in case you're too lazy or ornery to click on the ad:


The Cambium is made from a uniquely flexible natural rubber and organic cotton top, enhanced by a thin layer of structural textile for added resilience. This waterproof top, which follows the rider’s movements, is immediately comfortable, maintenance-free, and highly abrasion-resistant to offer the longevity for which Brooks is legendary.

Working up to the 17th June release, Brooks is selecting a diverse group of 100 individuals worldwide to be the first to try this revolutionary new saddle. Those selected are invited to try the saddle for a few months and share their feedback, which will be published on the Cambium website.
The individuals selected will include men and women of differing body type and age, using a variety of bicycles, and importantly:

-33 will be long-time users of Brooks Leather Saddles.
-33 will be cyclists who have used both Brooks Leather Saddles and other saddles.
-34 will be cyclists who have never used a Brooks Leather Saddle.

Individuals who wish to register for consideration to be the first to try the Cambium may do so before 17th May at www.brooksengland.com/cambium.

All registrants will receive a 10% discount to the Brooks online shop.

Just be sure to also submit a plaster cast of your scranus so Brooks can make sure they have all those differing body types covered.

As a Brooks convert I'm genuinely intrigued by this saddle, though I do have two (2) reservations, those being:

1) How do I know that the cow who was spared will use his reprieve responsibly and become a useful member of society?  What if he just stands around scarfing hay, chewing his cud, and releasing more methane into the atmosphere for the rest of his life?

2) There had better be something to chamfer on this thing, or else Eric "The Chamferer" Murray is not going to be happy and someone's gonna get cut.

(He will cut you.)

By the way, I am astride Eric's handiwork today, and my scranus is singing songs of praise:

Just lock it to the frame, bag it, and hope for the best:

I really hope it's still there when I return.

In other news of bicycle componentry, a reader informs me that Porsche (or "Porch," or "Porche," as it is variously spelled in the announcement) is recalling its $11,250 hybrid:

Here's the problem:

According to Porche the brakes may malfunction at reduced temperatures, specifically at -10 °C (14 °F) and below.

Which isn't really a problem at all when you consider that there's effectively zero chance of anyone who owns a Porsche hybrid actually riding it in temperatures lower than 65 degrees Fahrenheit.

In fact, I'd be amazed to learn of anyone actually riding a Porsche hybrid in any weather, and if it were to happen I imagine hell would freeze over along with the brakes.

Speaking of hydrolic breaks, yesterday I mentioned that they can help you attain Fred "Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo!" speed, and I thought about this yesterday when I was out for a lunchtime bicycle cycling bicycle ride.  Here's my bicycle cycling bike atop the area climb that has been thoroughly defiled by the New York City-area Freds who ascend it day in and day out, often multiple times:

Say what you will about stem length, but I really need to admit to myself that I need a compact crank already.

Anyway, as I turned to go back down and stuffed copies of "Hustler" down my jersey to block the wind, I noticed an SUV full of doofuses in knee pads and full-face helments preparing to descend the hill on longboards:

This raised a number of questions for me, such as:

--Will they attain Fred "Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo!" speed despite the lack of hydrolic breaks or indeed any brakes at all?

--Is Roller-Doofus "Woo-hoo-hoo!" speed different from Fred "Woo-hoo-hoo!" speed?

--With all that Fred traffic on the hill, some of whom zig-zag in a state of anaerobic delirium as they approach the top, how long before one of these Roller-doofuses collides head-on with one of the Freds and they all go flying into the Hudson?

I don't know the answer to any of these, but despite my lack of hydrolic breaks I descended very quickly, mostly because I was afraid of getting hit by a longboarder.

With that I shall bid you a-doo.  Hopefully I will see some of you in our notion's capitol this weekend, but in any event I look forward to returning on Monday the 22nd with regular updates.

XOXO,


--Wildcat Rock Machine